HEALTH

Out of the Shadows

After meeting for years on anonymous and secret Web sites, pro-anorexia groups are now moving to more public forums like Facebook.

By Tina Peng | Newsweek Web Exclusive
Nov 23, 2008 | Updated: 9:53  a.m. ET Nov 23, 2008

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  • Posted By: metamorphosisxx @ 04/27/2009 1:29:02 AM

    I feel like I HAVE to have a say.
    To all the ignorant people who say this (anorexia) is a CHOICE: Would you CHOOSE bi-polar, or CHOOSE depression, or CHOOSE OCD?
    You don't CHOOSE an eating disorder. They creep up on you, slip into you, and mould you so that you fit it.
    You don't have a say.
    Secondly - pro-ana websites. I'm not a member on Facebook (I wouldn't want my business declared there for everyone I know to see!), but I am a member on other sites. Do you know what it's like to come home, feeling terribly low, not knowing why everything seems to be going wrong, not knowing why you're scoring the best at school, working as many hours as possible, being a member of sport teams, community groups, knowing so many people, and yet still feeling so incredily worthless, so lonely, so cold and dark and sad inside? That's how my eating disorder started - whether it was a punishment or a saviour to myself at first, I don't know. But it definitely was part of my perfectionistic nature.
    I didn't discover Pro-Anorexia forums until I did a speech on eating disorders for school. I was incredibly naive, unable to understand why these girls would subject themselves to such torture... until I realised I did the same. I joined a few, so I could comment on what others were saying, to agree or disagree. I met a few people, and we encouraged each other to recover - it kills you to see a friend in pain like that.
    These rooms actually helped fuel my desire to get better.
    Alas, I relapsed, and at the same time, had the 'school anorexic' confide in me she was a member of PA rooms, and she was sick. Very, sick.
    We became friends online as well, and we both encouraged each other to get well.
    Right now, she is three hours away at a hospital trying desperately to recover. She is legally an adult, and no one could force her into treatment. But the people on PA, and I, we made her see recovery was the most desirable option. She couldn't do it by herself.
    PA rooms, just a place to trade tips and thinspo? Hardly. Wannarexic sites do this: they are the attention-seekers, the one who say this IS a lifestyle.
    Well, I'm anorexic, I hardly believe it, and I sure as hell would not be as healthy as I am today if it wasn't for the people who made me realise in this bright, large, scary world, I'm not actually alone.
    Let the pro-anorexic forums stay. Just kick the wannarexics out - they're easy to pick, they're the ones who think choosing to skip dessert or missing breakfast gives them a disorder.
    Sorry for rambling but I really needed to get that out.

    • Posted By: openmind29 @ 05/07/2009 10:20:49 AM

      speaking as a recovering anorexic and over-exerciser I can say that the Pro-Ana websites are dangerous ground to tread on. Clearly I know first hand that any eating disorder is NOT a choice by any means. However I do believe that at a certain point it is the individuals decision to CHOOSE recovery. Anyone who has tried to recover or is in recovery most likely can relate to having to finally make their own conscious decision that they want to FIGHT for their LIFE against the Eating Disorder.
      I found in treatment that when I engaged with people who did not have the motivation or desire to recovery, it held me back from progressing in my own recovery. It was then that I decided that unfortunately I could not hang out with or engage with people who felt that their eating disorder was "worth it". Sometimes it's hard to tell who is real about recovery and who isn't, but I think that this article is not trying to put down sites that offer help and advice, etc for people who want to recover, but rather speaking out against the sites that ENCOURAGE anorexia and other eating disorders by making it acceptable and making it seem like something more like a hobby or competition, rather than the deathly disease that it actually is.
      My hope is that when people see how much better my life is and how truly happy I am now that I am working through recovery that they will decide to do the same. Until the individual makes that decision for themselves, unfortunately there is not much more that others can do.
      I would love to hear other's opinions on the issue because this is simply drawn from my own experience; I know others may have had different experiences. l

  • Posted By: waxingmoon @ 01/26/2009 10:39:19 PM

    To Hungrymedicgurl:

    Anorexia is a mental disorder, not a choice people make about whether or not they feel like eating. It is an emotionally and physically debilitating condition that destroys entire families. Your rash judgments hurt the victims further by implying that they are selfish or uncharitable. If your goal is to target and shame people, perhaps you should search further to actual evil-doers and spread your criticism there.

    • Posted By: vinze @ 04/22/2009 12:07:57 PM

      i think what you said is exactly spot on, i am doing a awareness poster on eating disorders can i take some quotes from what you just said and reference you? vinzeis@hotmail.com

    • Posted By: vinze @ 04/22/2009 12:05:10 PM

      i think what you said is exactly spot on, i am doing a awareness poster on eating disorders can i take some quotes from what you just said and reference you? vinzeis@hotmail.com

  • Posted By: alex_6734 @ 04/01/2009 6:20:41 PM

    i dont want to say this as if eating disorders are a good thing but sometimes you really dont know what people are going through. Im naturally skinny so I never thought about doing anything like that to my body but ive always been trying to gain weight so i guess people should start to try to see it in a different light

  • Posted By: Peanut Santiago @ 11/23/2008 3:09:15 PM

    Anorexia nervosa is a mental illness...like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. AND mental illnesses are physical illnesses...something is physically wrong in the brain and/or body that does NOT work right. People love to make fun of psychiatic illnesses...yet they are no different than diabetes, high blood pressure, or even cystic fibrosis. Mental illness is often hereditary.

    • Posted By: kcaring @ 11/23/2008 3:33:14 PM

      Please don't compare an eating disorder--one that can be recognized, treated, and potentially put into remission---to cystic fibrosis.

      • Posted By: nynadia @ 04/01/2009 5:17:57 PM

        Eating disorders can kill just as easily as a "physical" illness like cystic fibrosis. Just ask Karen Carpenter's family.

      • Posted By: nynadia @ 04/01/2009 5:16:36 PM

        Eating disorders can kill just as easily as cystic fibrosis. Ask Karen Carpenter's family.

      • Posted By: sarahkg @ 12/31/2008 8:20:03 PM

        Oh, please.
        Peanut obviously meant that psychiatric illnesses can be just as painful and deadly as physical illnesses, and that neither are a laughing matter.

  • Posted By: bizzylady @ 04/01/2009 4:40:53 PM

    In an age obsessed with political correctness the definition of disease is fluid. Today anorexia is considered a disease but tomorrow it may be considered a lifestyle. Does facebook allow groups for people interested in sex-change surgery? Believing yourself to be transgendered is certainly a disease and obviously involves horrific mutilation but yet it is celebrated in the media. 40 years ago homosexuality was considered a disease. Who gets to decide what is a disease and what is just an interesting lifestyle? Facebook? TV networks? Teenagers?

  • Posted By: bizzylady @ 04/01/2009 4:39:10 PM

    In a politically correct age the definition of disease is fluid. Today anorexia is considered a disease but tomorrow it may be considered a lifestyle. Does facebook allow groups for people interested in sex-change surgery? Believing yourself to be transgendered is certainly a disease and obviously involves horrific mutilation but yet it is celebrated in the media. 40 years ago homosexuality was considered a disease. Who gets to decide what is a disease and what is just an interesting lifestyle? Facebook? TV networks? Teenagers?

  • Posted By: skinnyminny2 @ 03/05/2009 9:16:10 PM

    The problem with anorexia is that, unlike other addictions, we aren't consuming something. You can take alcohol and drugs away but you can't make someone eat.

  • Posted By: downtownlb @ 03/01/2009 12:19:18 PM

    Anorexia is no different than meth, alcohol or other addictions. Watch that show Intervention if you want a clue.

  • Posted By: MiBetter @ 02/26/2009 12:24:33 AM

    I had an eating disorder about 15 years ago. So many things influenced this disorder into my life, wanting control, wanting to be noticed, wanting to self destruct. I look through these pro-ana sites and my stomach turns to see this crap. I remember a few years ago reading in a YM or Seventeen magazine, an article commending a girl with anorexia and encouraging it. I think it's great to have sites that are truly support groups, to help them introduce a healthy self image into their lives, to learn to control important things like their own education and that they can make an impact on the world without starving themselves. However, it seems like these pro-ana sites are throwing it out there like its fashionable, and it's "cool" to do it. What the hell? I completely believe in free speech, but allowing this toxicity to be available to our youth is downright unacceptable. Yes, there are girls out there with eating disorders, but how many got an eating disorder after happening upon one of these sites? Come on! They all need to be deleted and we need to spend more time with our children, help them improve their self image, and let them know that they are truly loved. I shudder to think what our country will be like in 20 years with the decline of morality in the American Household.

  • Posted By: jkantor @ 02/24/2009 2:27:41 AM

    Anorexia doesn't start as the problem; it starts as the symptom. It's a self-destructive addiction that initially gives the victim the illusion of escape or control just like alcohol, drugs, sex, over-eating, smoking, etc. can - and then takes on a life of its own. The more you concentrate on the symptom (by attempting to get the victim to deny their body image, for example), the more you help define it and give it power. But neither can you eliminate the compulsion once it's taken hold by denying its power and attempting only to address the original underlying problem (of self-esteem, depression, whatever). Even if you do, the compulsion has already taken control. (Alcoholics don't stop drinking just because they start to feel better about themselves.) Anorexia has to be treated like any compulsive disorder and deprogrammed. Rehab programs are about deprogramming - about recognizing that the symptom is just that - a destructive behavior that has become compulsive yet can still be broken by replacing it with more positive behaviors. Pro-Ana sites may not be helping, but banning them would only keep the behavior in the dark. Anorexics should not be ashamed of their behavior - it's something that they have no control over.

  • Posted By: marsviking @ 02/21/2009 6:04:09 PM

    I can see having a forum to discuss anorexia but it could turn out to be a "support group" that encourages anorexia.
    go and get help if you have this disease. You need to raise your self-esteem. Saying that you look fat when you weigh 70 lbs is just stupidity, especially when people tell you that you look like a Biafran.

  • Posted By: marsviking @ 02/21/2009 5:59:48 PM

    What do you mean? Anorexia is only a slow form of playing with suicide. It is linked to low self-esteem and depression.
    I am not saying that anorexics are the only self-destructive people in the world. Smokers, drug addicts, and people who drink to excess also count. If you are an anorexic, you need help.

  • Posted By: suspark3 @ 11/23/2008 2:10:52 PM

    I say let them starve themselves if they want to. Just one more addition to The Darwin Awards! Get them out of the gene pool - better for the future of the human race.

    • Posted By: sammiemae @ 02/21/2009 1:43:10 PM

      We should get you out of the gene pool, one less ignorant arrogan A$$ out of the gene pool poluting young minds and beautiful people with their negative slander. You disgust me, I hope you don't teach anyone anything, ever, and I certainly hope you haven't reproduced, we don't need more people like you. And while it's genetic, a lot of times it certainly isn't. You might as well get rid of all of the people suffering from depression too, that's how it starts in 6 out of 10 cases. Idiot.

  • Posted By: AnnoyedReader @ 01/03/2009 5:57:56 AM

    This is ridiculous. Anorexia is a cry for attention! A mental disorder? Like Bi-polar? Get real. With enough will power you can control it. I was diagnosed with severe bi-polar at 3 and was drugged beyond belief. I couldn't interact with anyone and I hated everything. Just recently I stopped medication and no one ever knows I have "bi-polar" unless I tell them myself. I have had to find coping methods and yeah sometimes I get a litte overemotional but if someone like me with a real chemical imbalance can fuction get through it then I'm SURE these people can as well. Its all about recognizing that you have a problem and fixing it. These sites are of course attention sites. If you can't talk to people close to you about it, because you know it's bad then maybe you should attempt to change your habits instead of joining a group of people who are all doing this. It is known health risk. And I'm not saying it's easy, in fact its probably extremely difficult, but you can get over it, over time. But let me tell you joining these types of groups promoting you unhealthy habits is not the way to start off. Would you join a group that promotes drug use? Or maybe another type of physical abuse? These sites are sending this type of message.

    • Posted By: sammiemae @ 02/21/2009 1:30:14 PM

      Annoyed, you're annoying me. Bi-polar and anorexia are two COMPLETELY different kinds of mental disorders. There are those you know, classifications of various mental diseases, they catergorize them. Don't think that just because you THINK you understand one means that you understand them all. I'm sick and tired of people thinking that you can control everything your mind does. I suffer from manic depression, yet am unmedicated, I'm in your boat honey, I can control it by using other methods of therapy, but that doesn't mean that everyone can. Anorexia is a form of control of a mental disorder. Most anorexia comes from a lack of control over things such as....you'll never guess! DEPRESSION! You can't control anything else, but you can control what you eat. It's when people that suffer from this desease see this that the anorexia takes over. The chemical inbalance that caused the depression changes and shifts again as the person starts to believe they are overweight, or fat or ugly or whatever it is that the specific person thinks and it sends them over the deep end. It's the actual warped vision that changes these girls because of the chemical imbalance. This control and vision becomes their new reality. it doesn't matter how much weight they lose or how sick they get, they can't see that that is why their clothes don't fit all they see when they look in the mirror is that fat person staring back at them regardless of how thin they get. It's no different than any other mental illness, you wouldn't tell a pschitzophrenic person that if they would just try harder and stop trying to get attention that the voices would go away. That's their reality, they don't live in the same world you do. They might know you're there but you assume a different identity than who you really are.
      Just because you can control your bi-polar and I can control my manic depression doesn't mean that everyone can control whatever it is they are ill with. Notice I said ILL. And by the way, you need to see a new shrink. Because NO psychiatrist int heir right mind would diagnose and medicate a 3 year old for bi-polar. They're too young, they can't accurately describe what they feel or understand the different levels of emotions that comes with bi-polar. You're living a lie. How does it feel to hear that?

    • Posted By: ciniquini @ 01/15/2009 6:58:28 PM

      ahem. i happen to be a psychology student. one of my text books is called DSM, or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. with over 900 pages of very detailed and complicated descriptions of every kind of mental disorder, it is a book that psychologists and therapists use to diagnose MENTAL DISORDERS. i would like to educate you. the definition of anorexia nervosa can be found on page 583: anorexia nervosa is characterized by a refusal to maintain a minimally normal body weight, with individuals being intensely afraid of gaining weight and exhibits a signifigant disturbance in the perception of the size and shape of their body.
      so as you can see, ANOREXIA IS A MENTAL DISORDER.
      also, NO credible child psychologist or family thereapist would diagnose a 3 year old with BPD. that means you are full of $hit . anyway, just because you (might) have a mental disorder does not qualify that you are an expert on mental disorders. get over your self.

      • Posted By: ICanBreatheAgain @ 02/21/2009 1:14:59 PM

        Annoyed, you're annoying me. Bi-polar and anorexia are two COMPLETELY different kinds of mental disorders. There are those you know, classifications of various mental diseases, they catergorize them. Don't think that just because you THINK you understand one means that you understand them all. I'm sick and tired of people thinking that you can control everything your mind does. I suffer from manic depression, yet am unmedicated, I'm in your boat honey, I can control it by using other methods of therapy, but that doesn't mean that everyone can. Anorexia is a form of control of a mental disorder. Most anorexia comes from a lack of control over things such as....you'll never guess! DEPRESSION! You can't control anything else, but you can control what you eat. It's when people that suffer fromt his desease see this that the anorexia takes over. The chemical inbalance that caused the depression changes and shifts again as the person starts to believe they are overweight, or fat or ugly or whatever it is that the specific person thinks and it sends them over the deep end. It's the actual warped vision that changes these girls because of the chemical imbalance. Most of the time they don't even realize they're hurting themselves because they look in the mirror and still see that same person despite the fact that none of their clothes fit and they're cold everyday and they may not be feeling good or able to keep their energy up, they still see that same overweight person, it never changes.
        This is so much different from depression, even bi-polar disorder because you still have control, and you see the reality of who you are and you know what you look like and you can funtion day to day, you live reality, not somewhere else, anorexia takes the person somewhere different. It's a warped perception of reality and a desperate grasp for control, 90% of the time it's not about attention. You wouldn't tell a pschizophrenic person that if they would just stop begging for attention and take a hold of it the voices would stop, they wouldn't comprehend what you were saying, it would become part of their reality, you would become the enemy, one of them, whoever it is in their reality that is against them because their mind is warped. This is no different, you can't tell them to just get over it, to control it, their mind is altered, it's a disorder, don't kid yourself. And you need to go see a new shrink. No psychiatrist in their right mind would diagnose and medicate a child of three for bi-polar because they can't accurately explain the feelings of the symptoms and they are overly emotional in general, you're living a lie. How does it feel to hear that?

      • Posted By: ICanBreatheAgain @ 02/21/2009 1:12:34 PM

        Annoyed, you're annoying me. Bi-polar and anorexia are two COMPLETELY different kinds of mental disorders. There are those you know, classifications of various mental diseases, they catergorize them. Don't think that just because you THINK you understand one means that you understand them all. I'm sick and tired of people thinking that you can control everything your mind does. I suffer from manic depression, yet am unmedicated, I'm in your boat honey, I can control it by using other methods of therapy, but that doesn't mean that everyone can. Anorexia is a form of control of a mental disorder. Most anorexia comes from a lack of control over things such as....you'll never guess! DEPRESSION! You can't control anything else, but you can control what you eat. It's when people that suffer fromt his desease see this that the anorexia takes over. The chemical inbalance that caused the depression changes and shifts again as the person starts to believe they are overweight, or fat or ugly or whatever it is that the specific person thinks and it sends them over the deep end. It's the actual warped vision that changes these girls because of the chemical imbalance. Most of the time they don't even realize they're hurting themselves because they look in the mirror and still see that same person despite the fact that none of their clothes fit and they're cold everyday and they may not be feeling good or able to keep their energy up, they still see that same overweight person, it never changes.
        This is so much different from depression, even bi-polar disorder because you still have control, and you see the reality of who you are and you know what you look like and you can funtion day to day, you live reality, not somewhere else, anorexia takes the person somewhere different. It's a warped perception of reality and a desperate grasp for control, 90% of the time it's not about attention. You wouldn't tell a pschizophrenic person that if they would just stop begging for attention and take a hold of it the voices would stop, they wouldn't comprehend what you were saying, it would become part of their reality, you would become the enemy, one of them, whoever it is in their reality that is against them because their mind is warped. This is no different, you can't tell them to just get over it, to control it, their mind is altered, it's a disorder, don't kid yourself. And you need to go see a new shrink. No psychiatrist in their right mind would diagnose and medicate a child of three for bi-polar because they can't accurately explain the feelings of the symptoms and they are overly emotional in general, you're living a lie. How does it feel to hear that?

    • Posted By: robbiewilliams @ 01/07/2009 3:37:44 PM

      sorry i just read your comment and it is awful...i could not control what i was doing it was not a cry for attention- it was only the way i could cope with loosing babies- now i have a beautiful baby daughter its still with me however i can control it...so i am really sorry if you thought it was a attention seeking thing but it was not

  • Posted By: TiFfYbAyBa @ 02/21/2009 12:06:33 PM

    These pro-anorexia groups may claim to be a place where people with eating disorers can support each other, but the things that are being promoted and discussed(tips and ways to continue something that can and very likely will kill you or cause severe health problems, triggering pictures to make you feel inadequate and like you need to continue the harmful behavior) are much more triggering than helpful. Encouraging the disease is more harmful than helpful. It's a great idea to have a place where people with these diseases can talk with people going through similar issues and feel like they are not alone, but a healthy place, not one that will influence even more harm.

  • Posted By: TiFfYbAyBa @ 02/21/2009 12:06:10 PM

    These pro-anorexia groups may claim to be a place where people with eating disorers can support each other, but the things that are being promoted and discussed(tips and ways to continue something that can and very likely will kill you or cause severe health problems, triggering pictures to make you feel inadequate and like you need to continue the harmful behavior) are much more triggering than helpful. Encouraging the disease is more harmful than helpful. It's a great idea to have a place where people with these diseases can talk with people going through similar issues and feel like they are not alone, but a healthy place, not one that will influence even more harm.

  • Posted By: AmusicDevil @ 02/04/2009 1:58:54 PM

    I was anorexic for 4 years ....and in reading some of the comments people have written, it hurts to know what people think of the people that are. In my case being anorexic was not a choice. It was something that just happened whether I liked it or not. I was depressed and I didnt even realize i was doing it until I couldnt get out of it. Just because I was doesnt mean im a different person though. It doesnt mean that im messed up in the head like most of you put off on here. You guys think you are helping those that are or were and its like your dead wrong. Those people just need support and to talk about their problems. Whether its about their weight or whatever. In my case, it wasnt that I thought I was fat. Most girls I know its because of something that happened to them that they cant get over and they get depressed. But all in all there is no reason why people on here should be so rude to trash others out and make them feel inferior. I read this article because I wanted to know what other people thought. But am now shocked to actually know that you guys are more willing to trash others out than to help. Thats all I have to say.

    • Posted By: kittycatkz @ 02/21/2009 9:53:09 AM

      EXACTLY!!! Ive had a similar experience. Thank goodness someone hit the nail on the head

  • Posted By: bryony1 @ 02/20/2009 1:22:52 AM

    ciniquini, do everyone a favor: don't go into psychology as a profession.

  • Posted By: bryony1 @ 02/20/2009 1:18:31 AM

    hungrymedicgurl , I don't have kids, but that didn't keep me from nearly starving on my disability income. It wasn't until I got Section 8, after waiting for it for six years, and was enrolled into a one-meal-daily food program that I was able, at 5'6" to get back from 97 pounds to 113. Your food bank-donation suggestion for those who just don't want to eat is excellent.

  • Posted By: bryony1 @ 02/20/2009 1:14:14 AM

    There are PRO-anorexia groups? Do these people have slow-suicide wishes and want to convince others to do the same?

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