Mrs. Kramer Vs. Mrs. Kramer

So what exactly has happened? For one, Lisa Miller rediscovered her Baptist faith and now regards homosexuality as a sin. It was a life change she decided upon while listening to a sermon in her brother's church in 2003, just months after splitting with Janet. The pastor was preaching about sin and repentance, two subjects that hit a chord with Miller. She says she'd been ignoring that voice in her head for years—the one that told her homosexuality was wrong—and now the message was too loud to suppress. "I realized, Wow, I say I'm saved, but how can I be if I haven't repented, if I've been living in sin all these years in a same-sex relationship?" says Miller, who is 14 years sober and now teaches in a Christian high school. "I knew what I was doing was wrong. It says so in the Bible. God says hide the word in your heart and it will never leave you. That's when I confessed, and believed, and asked for forgiveness of my sins." Miller is now deeply involved in her Lynchburg, Va., church, which was founded by the late Jerry Falwell. Her fellow parishioners know of Miller's story through her Only One Mommy blog, other conservative Christian Web sites and prayer alerts issued by her legal team, Liberty Counsel. She receives plenty of support from the Baptist community (her computer and car were donated anonymously through another church) and is often flanked by others who've renounced their homosexuality and joined the faith.

After a recent Sunday service in the enormous Thomas Road church, Miller relaxed in the quiet of a small room usually reserved for nursing mothers. She wore a simple, floral-print dress and a pair of comfy, Birkenstock-like sandals, her dark hair pulled back in a single barrette. Her demeanor was calm, and she spoke in thoughtful, measured tones about her past life, her daughter and the nearly five years of litigation. It started with a simple dissolution of their union in late 2003, which both women agreed to. The Vermont judge issued a temporary visitation order in June of 2004, but within a month, Miller filed for sole, exclusive custody in Virginia. That judge ruled in Miller's favor on the ground that the union between her and Jenkins was not legally recognized in Virginia. Jenkins fought back, and after years of litigation that found Falwell's legal arm and the ACLU stepping in, the case wound up in the Virginia Supreme Court. In June of 2008, the earlier Virginia trial-court ruling was reversed and Jenkins was awarded parental and visitation rights. The enforcement of the visitation schedule is now with the Virginia Juvenile Court. But Miller is still refusing to allow Isabella unsupervised time with her ex; if she continues to stonewall, Jenkins may be awarded full custody of Isabella, and Miller may wind up in jail.

But Miller thinks it's a risk worth taking. "I do not feel safe leaving my daughter with her, and I believe I have a God-given and constitutional right to raise my child as I see fit," says Miller, who is currently single but hopes to meet the right man someday. "There is a homosexual agenda at work here, and Isabella is a pawn in their game. It has nothing to do with the law. Isabella was saved at age 4, loves God, and knows what's right and what's wrong. We don't hate Janet, we pray for her soul and salvation."

Jenkins, who lives 550 miles up the coast from Miller and the Thomas Road church, doesn't believe that her ex-partner has rediscovered the faith, or that she's a reformed homosexual. She feels that Miller is using the church to help her case, and to get back at Jenkins for "whatever she's still mad about." The toll of the struggle is obvious when Jenkins talks about the countless court dates, and the charges by Miller and her legal team that she is somehow using Isabella as a homosexual advocate trophy. "That couldn't be further from the truth," says Jenkins, blowing a few short, wispy hairs off her forehead. "I would rather not see my name out there and not see my child exposed to any of this. I just want time with my kid. She is the love of my life, and I'm involved in this because I won't abandon her."

Isabella knows a little bit about what's going on between her two mommies. "She knows there's a judge," says Miller, "she knows what the judge is saying. She knows how she was conceived. I told her all that before she was 5." Jenkins says that she's read Isabella "Heather Has Two Mommies" so she'd know what to say when others asked about her parents, but has avoided talking about "all that other stuff" in front of her daughter. " Isabella has done nothing to deserve this," says Jenkins. "If she was 12 years old and said, 'You're a homosexual and I don't want you in my life,' I would let it go. I would say I will always be there for you when you need me. But today, it's not Lisa's choice to make for a little 6-year-old."

But the divorce, and the ensuing battle, has affected Isabella. Jenkins says when she and Miller split, she helped her soon-to-be estranged partner relocate to Miller's brother's home with the baby. During the nine-hour drive to Winchester, Va., both mommies had to hold the toddler's hand to keep her from wailing. More recently, Miller has claimed she witnessed disturbing behavior in her daughter after visits with Jenkins, such as masturbating in public and putting a comb to her throat, threatening suicide. "What 6-year-old does and says these things?" says Miller, who tries to avoid mentioning Janet's name in front of Isabella. "I'm not sure what's going on when she's with Janet, but I know what happens right afterward. Isabella does not want to go back." Miller leveled child-abuse allegations against her ex-partner last year. The claims were investigated by Virginia's Child Protective Services and deemed "unfounded." Still, Miller is petitioning to have this matter heard in court.