Remembering the Perfect Boy

My first love died 3 years ago and even know I hadn't seen him in years I have a hole in my heart that will never leave. I now realize that I loved him more than my husband. I wish that I could have told him how much I loved him before he died. I hope that he felt the same way about me.

I'm so sorry for your loss. One statement mentioned that I would like to comment on was that Aaron would never know the Sara that was in high school. The thing is, whether you lost Nick or not, you would be a different person in college anyway. Never be ashamed to talk about your past because it does make you who you are and helps others to understand you completely.

What a touching story. My first love and I broke up many years ago, it wasnt ugly though, we just knew we were so young and he joined the air force. Well a few months ago he was on my mind, not sure why but he was so I looked him up and I found that he had been killed in a domestic dispute a week before. Sometimes I think the reason he popped into my mind so strong was so he could let me know he was gone. Do I wonder what it would be like had I married him? of course I do. Both of our lives would have been so different. He will always be that one true love and it saddens me that he is gone.

My first true love broke my heart. I try to focus on the wonderful time spent together, but in the end, the pain cancels out the joy.

My first love was killed in a car accident almost 40 years ago; I was a senior in high school and he had graduated the year before. I remember every detail like it happened yesterday. The pain eventually goes away but you will always carry the memories in your heart. Life does go on and you must go on, too. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, and we share a great life together. Don't left this tragedy ruin your happiness

Tomorrow will be 28 years since my first love died in an accident. We were 16. A song, a scent, aything can trigger the memories. Enjoy your life though, as it goes by so quickly. Treasure the memories, and be grateful you were a part of his life.

It's ok to remember and even reserve a small place in your heart for him, but don't let his memory keep you from finding another true love. If he really loved you, he would want you to find hapiness with someone else.

I hear you...my first girlfriend died my senior year of high school -- a little over 5 years ago. She would be 24 now (she was almost 19). I'm still processing, although the first year was definitely the most intense. I too got involved with someone my freshman year of college, and I'm still thankful to her for being so understanding.

I was given your article today by my fiance's mother. Today my fiance would have been graduating nursing school, but ulike his peers he was not there to receive his degree, I and my once future mother-in-law accepted it for him. James and his father died September 30, 2007. They were killed by a drunk driver. James and I had been together for 7 years and planned to be married after his graduation. Its been over a year and I still grieve, I know still do as well. I was completely able to relate with your article, I have finally met someone to who is senstive to the fact that I loved someone prior to meeting him and that I still carry that deep love for James. I know what you meant when you said you are not the same as you were prior to the accident. I know i'm different. But we have our memories, we have our photographs and I kept every poem he wrote me, every scribble on a sheet of paper, even reciepts, movie stubs, and other items that seem petty to some but are invaluable to me. I even continued to call his cell weeks after the accident so I could hear his silly voice-mail message that he had recorded. Aaron sounds like a wonderful person, it was probably a comfort to him to know that you can love and care so deeply. The people who are afraid our just to involved with themselves to hear our pasts are just to immature to understand, they can't relate, though I do pray that they never have to relate. Sara your story was beautiful, I cried throughout the entire graduation ceremony, I cried for me and you, James's mother, who not only lost her child but her husband as well and I felt terrible that James was not there for his crowing achievement that he worked so hard for. Live for the glory of Nick now, tell his story and be proud that you got to experience 2 years with him, 2 years knowing and loving him is better than not having the honor of being in his presence. I wouldn't trade a second of my 7 years for anything, those second are precious.

I have much sympathy for you. Right after I graduated from college, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years died in a car accident. That was more than a decade ago, and I can tell you that while a tragedy always remains tragic, time brings healing. That fragile feeling that I know I had -- and it sounds like you have -- will go away on its own. Be kind to yourself in the meanwhile.

You are a great writer and your story is emotionally resonant in the extreme. I hope that you are able to heal as much as you can from such a terrible thing. You're on the right track.

I sympathize with your story, but life is for the living. I'm not saying forget about him,of course keep his memory alive in some way so you feel he is always in you heart. By the same token you need to give others that may come into your life. I wish you well in every relationship you encounter.

And who looks after Aaron?

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