I have a few fundamental questions to ask in this debate about gay "marriage". First and foremost, my question involves what is the purpose of marriage? Our society has conferred marriage a special place in our society as part of a code that is designed to support family. In that context, the promotion of family, lives as the center of our marriage and family law codes. While procreation is not a requirement of marriage, the intent is to provide support for children through the concept of a stable family unit. We have long held that a loving father and a nurturing mother provides the best support for the raising and rearing of children. So, my first question is, if this is not a primary purpsoe for marriage, then what is the purpose of marriage?
Secondly and more troubling, if we are as a society to choose to re-define marriage as any two loving people who are willing to commit to one another in accordance with laws and traditions, then my question is why this definition and not some other definition? Why not for example a brother and a sister? A mother and a son? A Father and a daughter? One woman and 5 men? Three men and two women? This is where the argument about the issue being biological vs choce begins to break down for me. What makes the rights to two men or two women more important than say the rights of a Father and a Daughter when it comes to marriage?
Look, I want to be very, very clear here. I have no issue with what two (or several) people choose to do in the privacy of their own home. I will go even further to say, if they wish to display affection in public, it is not my concern. I simply am troubled by conferring this government sanctioned declaration of marriage in a manner that dilutes the meaning and unique value of marriage. Again, if marriage is not only between a single man and a single woman, what is a defensible definition of marriage that deserves the support and recognition of society.
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On the campus of Wheaton College in Illinois last Wednesday, in another of the seemingly endless announcements of splintering and schism in the Episcopal Church, the Rt. Rev. Robert Duncan and other leaders of the conservative forces of reaction to the ecclesiastical and cultural acceptance of homosexuality declared that their opposition to the ordination and the marriage of gays was irrevocably rooted in the Bible—which they regard as the "final authority and unchangeable standard for Christian faith and life."
No matter what one thinks about gay rights—for, against or somewhere in between —this conservative resort to biblical authority is the worst kind of fundamentalism. Given the history of the making of the Scriptures and the millennia of critical attention scholars and others have given to the stories and injunctions that come to us in the Hebrew Bible and the Christian New Testament, to argue that something is so because it is in the Bible is more than intellectually bankrupt—it is unserious, and unworthy of the great Judeo-Christian tradition.
As Lisa Miller points out in her cover essay this week, the debate and its implications spread far beyond intramural Anglican conflicts. The impetus for the project came not from Wheaton but from California and the successful passage of Proposition 8, which seeks to ban gay marriage. The issue of marriage (as opposed to civil unions and other middle courses) is not going away: California was a battle in a larger, ongoing war, both in America and in Europe. (For the record, the Lisa Miller who is our religion editor and the author of the cover story is not the Lisa Miller who is featured in Lorraine Ali's companion piece about a gay couple's custody fight.)
Briefly put, the Judeo-Christian religious case for supporting gay marriage begins with the recognition that sexual orientation is not a choice—a matter of behavior—but is as intrinsic to a person's makeup as skin color. The analogy with race is apt, for Christians in particular long cited scriptural authority to justify and perpetuate slavery with the same certitude that some now use to point to certain passages in the Bible to condemn homosexuality and to deny the sacrament of marriage to homosexuals. This argument from Scripture is difficult to take seriously—though many, many people do—since the passages in question are part and parcel of texts that, with equal ferocity, forbid particular haircuts. The Devil, as Shakespeare once noted, can cite Scripture for his purpose, and the texts have been ready sources for those seeking to promote anti-Semitism and limit the human rights of women, among other things that few people in the first decade of the 21st century would think reasonable.
Beyond the Bible, some argue that marriage is between a man and woman by custom and tradition—which is true, but only to a point. As recently as the 1960s men and women of different races could not legally marry in certain states. In civil and religious terms we have redefined marriage before in order to reflect evolving understandings of justice and right; to act as though marriage has been one thing since Eden (and look how well that turned out) is ahistorical.
In this light it would seem to make sense for Americans to look anew at the underlying issues on the question of gay marriage. One can decide to oppose it in good faith, but such opposition should at least be forged by those in full possession of the relevant cultural and religious history and context. The reaction to this cover is not difficult to predict. Religious conservatives will say that the liberal media are once again seeking to impose their values (or their "agenda," a favorite term to describe the views of those who disagree with you) on a God-fearing nation. Let the letters and e-mails come. History and demographics are on the side of those who favor inclusion over exclusion. (As it has been with reform in America from the Founding forward.) The NEWSWEEK Poll confirms what other surveys have also found: that there is a decided generational difference on the issue, with younger people supporting gay marriage at a higher rate than older Americans. One era's accepted reality often becomes the next era's clear wrong. So it was with segregation, and so it will be, I suspect, with the sacrament of marriage.
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