MY TURN

Equal Time

How I divide my life between my divorced parents' homes.

Newsweek Web Exclusive
Dec 15, 2008 | Updated: 8:42  a.m. ET Dec 15, 2008

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  • Posted By: 40YearR @ 12/31/2008 7:55:32 AM

    test Jes' uh tes' ? 'ya' ! "know' what I's meenz?? /cuz how-bouts? , . ,, ..

  • Posted By: JimBWarrior @ 12/28/2008 4:01:52 PM

    Well said Charlotte

    The sooner we ebshrine **Equal Parenting ** into World-Wide Law and Social Policy the sooner we will see healed and wholesome FAMILIES

    Go sign the Petition http://petitionthem.com/default.asp?sect=detail&pet=4275

    Onward - Jim

  • Posted By: Libricrat @ 12/17/2008 3:18:13 PM

    It is so great to see Newsweek not only covering this subject but, printing this article from a teenagers perspective. This is a subject and an angle that's not mentioned enough and certainly from the teens or young adult perspective which is the most important where we can learn the most about the subject. I also came from a divorced home and even though I think it's a bad thing, at the same time I would never change it. Looking back on things, my stepmom may have saved my life. My father worked all the time, so I was around my stepmom the most. Had it not been for her I probably would have been in jail or dead. Sometimes it's for the best.

  • Posted By: ssbn777 @ 12/16/2008 3:28:15 PM

    Charlotte,

    Thank you for sharing your story. I'm a divorced guy, in my early 30's. My parents are divorced, and they did the "stay together for the kids" thing. Growing up, my life was miserable; you could cut the tension in my house with a knife. They finally divorced when my younger brother graduated from high school.

    I married young, and it didn't take long to realize that it wasn't working. By that time, though, there was a baby in the picture. My daughter is now pre-teen, and while she has some issues, she is pretty well-adjusted considering her circumstances, and has long since adapted to spending time at either mommy's or daddy's house. My own mother though, to this day, blames me for divorcing my ex-wife, and regularly reminds me that her and my father "stayed together for the kids". It's good to hear, from a child's point of view, that I had made the right decision. My own unhappiness notwithstanding, it also didn't seem fair to my daughter to expose her to a household as negative as mine was....

  • Posted By: ellen45 @ 12/16/2008 1:24:44 AM

    Charlotte, thanks for sharing your story. I especially appreciate that you point out that it is sometimes better for parents to divorce earlier rather than "staying together for the kids." My parents divorced when I was 12, after years of fighting and bitterness which of course my sister and I began to feel as well. When my dad moved out I couldn't wait for him to live because he and my mom together had made my life miserable for so long. We lived with my mom and rarely stayed over at my pop's, but he would call every day and we would see him frequently. They were also able to get along better once they weren't living together, so he has spent most holidays, birthdays, etc with us since. I am now very close to both of my parents and I feel that even though I did not live with my father the arrangement worked for us. Both my parents were at my high school and college graduations, they drove me up to college together and helped me move once I graduated. I wouldn't go so far as to say they are best friends but they have put aside their differences to make our family as functioning as possible. I wish all divorced kids could have it as good as I, and apparently you, do. Best of luck and anybody thinking about getting divorced remember, sometimes it is better for your kids to have two separate homes than one miserable one.

  • Posted By: jjb57 @ 12/15/2008 9:59:06 PM

    Fine article. It's a testiment to the resilience of children to any family situation. The over looked part in this article is the heart ache, confusion and stress children goes through in any divorce. This.should never be underestimated. Kudo's to Charlotte and her parents for the caring and unselfish adjustments they've made.

  • Posted By: jsjeepgirl @ 12/15/2008 7:37:38 PM

    Thank you for this insight! My stepson is 4 years old and has been doing the every other day thing since he was 1 year old. We were beginning to worry that he would start to get confused about which house he was going but couldn't figure out a better way. Glad to know he's going to be just fine!

  • Posted By: sandra56 @ 12/15/2008 11:36:47 AM

    Wow, there is a good example that we all can benefit from. I too have come from a "broken" family, however, my parents were'nt so considerate of my feelings and wellbeing. Having to live with one parent, whilst living with the hurt, estrangement and all the feelings accompanied with divorse, I have had to pry my way through childhood. As an adult, I am stronger, and have learned a great deal from my parents mistake, which I carry through my own marraige as I too, have children. What a strong little girl! I applaud her and her parents for such a fine example.

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