Not Your Dad's Divorce

i coulnd't agree more. with the new laws and regulations on custody. i grew up in a little town called spencer, indiana. i ended up getting my girlfriend pregnant in highschool. i was in 10th grade. i quite school and got married for the reason i knew i needed to take care of a baby i was married for about 2 years and my wife had an affair, we got a divorce when turned 18. automatically the judge played god and played sides and i started paying child support at 18. i had never been in trouble before, but but when i couldn't pay the support they threw me in jail. Even when i was working and trying to pay the child the support, maybe not the full amount but some of it. I had no criminal history before this all happened. my ex-wife had gotten on the stand at our divorce and lied to the court and said that i was a drug user. Which was not true i was a kid that got the shaft. i payed child support for fifteen years and only had supervised visitation rights. Because of this crooked judge whish is still on the bench today. for all the fathers out there don't give up. You have just as much right as your wife does. don't let her take full control of custody.

The courts should NOT start with the presumption of equal custody. If both parents want custody, the courts should be MANDATED BY LAW to start with equality since they can't be trusted. Of course, they would have discretion in cases of physical, sexual, or substance abuse.

In a state with such presumption laws, although I was clearly the better parent, I was forced to spend $25,000 to defend my self against the lies of my ex-wife. She almost was jailed for perjury, but I chose not to pursue that for personal reasons that would have affected our daughter adversely.

I did get almost equal custody, but it still pisses me off that I was not declared equal. Who is the only one who ever cooks real meals (not soup and cereal) for our daughter? Who cares for her when she is sick (she comes here when she is sick and it is not my days)? Who cares for her when daycare closes down for two weeks, or whenever my ex has a whim to go out? ME!

Don't get me wrong, I relish this extra time, but why was I not declared equal to start with, when it was also crystal clear that my ex can barely care for herself? I'll tell you: So they could award her child support.

I try to be civil considering everything. My ex eats here regularly since our daughter likes to have her "family" together, and my ex will even stay here Christmas Eve night, but this is really because she is so incapable of tending to our daughter's emotion needs around this time of the year. There would literally be no Santa if it were not for me.

Boobs are not a reason to award custody, and the courts can't be trusted not to do that.

i'm a dad i have a 4 year old son, after he was 2.5 year old his mother let and let him with me he has been with me eversince, his mom had another child she calls my son and talks to him every week or every other week. she moved to NY
i'm in florida once a awail she tell me that she whats to take him with her and i'm afraid that she might show up one day and take him i been to the court house and explained to them what is going on that this child has been with me since birth and that the mom left him when he was 2 years old they said that they can;t help me to get lawyer so i ask a lawyer what could be done they will take the case but there is a 50-50 change and it would coust about 5,000.00 to 7,000.00 for them to take it that alot of money, I dom't thing that is righr that the state can't help me. I'm 20 years old i"m a high school GD from there i GD itc and became a auto mic. i work for a car dealer , i have my son i a privet shool my parents help me raise him , i'm a very good parent and i don't know were to turn. If any one has a idea or were i can turn please let me know.
email; se-pu-1@hotmail.com thank you

I'm a dad and I went through court with my ex and I could still remember what my attorney said tp me. He said "you will not win custody of your child because I live in Texas and the court are usually on the mother's side." At first the attorney said that you have a chance to win in court and when you pay them, that's when they start to tell you stuff like "oh you can't win because this judge usually side with the women" or "it will costs you a lot of money if you go to trail." It's just all politics with the damn attorneys and the court systems. All they want is your hard earn money:)

I am for fathers being involved in support and emotional support of raising there children. But I come for a family where i have raised two boys. and never recvd children support till they were 18 when he thought they would run to him to live and then he wanted support out of me. This back fired in his face. Then I remarried had another child by him. and raised my tow boys with him and his two girls. Most of the finiacial burden was on me. Our son together I finiaciial raised the child clothers, hair cuts, While he set back and lived off of me. Where is the justice in this. ? This wasnt asked but put on me weather I wanted it or not. To raise a someone whole and healthy child We stayed to gether, But me still finicialy taking care of my son. his daughters. and him. I no live is unfair. and I married him. But they need to get the laws together for both sides and the childrens.

I am a father of a four year old son and I feel that the court system made a good decision when I was giving custudy of my child. The judge in my case say where my son would be raise better based on living conditions of where my ex-wife is living. Now she only sees him 2 days every month, whichis fine with me. And that's not to say I don't let her see him , It's her that does want to take the time to visit him. Some women are not meant to be mothers

I am a father of a four year old son and I feel that the court system made a good decision when I was giving custudy of my child. The judge in my case say where my son would be raise better based on living conditions of where my ex-wife is living. Now she only sees him 2 days every month, whichis fine with me. And that's not to say I don't let her see him , It's her that does want to take the time to visit him. Some women are not meant to be mothers

courts are for the women only and courts and judges are byess in ther eyes, all laws and couets and judges needs to be removed and honest judges and courts people put in place to let it be fair,

I feel the pain of tstmcghee. I am a single father of 2 children from 2 different mother's and I fought nasty battles for both of them. I also have 2 other children from a previous marriage that I pay way too much child support for. I won custody of my children after 3 years of hard fighting and I am in the same position. I don't have a criminal record and was never proven unfit or a danger to the children, but here I am still fighting as if I were a criminal. At the same time, I don't recieve child support for my 2 that I have custody of, but I pay more than half my paycheck to the other 2. How is this fair? If I were a woman, there would be more sympathy toward my plight, but as a man, my troubles fell on deaf ears in the courtroom. How do you fix a situation like this. My children deserve just as good of life as children with a "female" single parent!

My ex wife filed her motions in court for custody and all concerned in CRAYON. The court ordred her to attain a attorney but could not force her. " Mothers right." Meanwhile I paid thousands for my attornery in the end it cost me a bankruptcy. I t was very hard to raise my Son after my attoerney cleaned me out. The court did''nt care nor the attorney its just profits. I shoud have bought a box of crayons. It would have beeen cheaper. All motions have to be heard crayon or not.

I feel the pain of tstmcghee. I am a single father of 2 children from 2 different mother's and I fought nasty battles for both of them. I also have 2 other children from a previous marriage that I pay way too much child support for. I won custody of my children after 3 years of hard fighting and I am in the same position. I don't have a criminal record and was never proven unfit or a danger to the children, but here I am still fighting as if I were a criminal. At the same time, I don't recieve child support for my 2 that I have custody of, but I pay more than half my paycheck to the other 2. How is this fair? If I were a woman, there would be more sympathy toward my plight, but as a man, my troubles fell on deaf ears in the courtroom. How do you fix a situation like this. My children deserve just as good of life as children with a "female" single parent!

This story really hits close to home. I am a child of divorced parents. My mom and dad have been divorced since I was 4 years old, so 22 years now. I am my parents only child. My mom got custody of me and I saw my dad every weekend or every other weekend (I dont remember which one, because it was a long time ago). My dad has always put work before me. I had epilepsy as a kid and was in the hospital quite a bit. My dad was never really there. It was my mom and grandparents who were there all the time! I am the person I am today, because of my mom. My mom made me a strong, beautiful person. I wish my dad wanted to be a part of my life then and now. To this day, Im not close to my dad and it hurts more and more. I cant change his ways or his purpose, but I do wish I had a better relationship with him.

The previous arrangement has led the new generation to having less of a solid structure at home. Many mothers have to maintain employment, sometimes 2 jobs to make ends meet. Many fathers are left to pursue their own personal ventures without having to think about spending time with their children other than the meager days awarded to them by these traditionally blind judges. I do not care what the old thinkers on the bench or philosophers think, children need their parents to share an EQUAL responsibility. Although I fought long and hard in the liberal courts for my equality in parenthood, the children need their parents to step up and for courts to make it equal. Many fathers are discouraged to being involved because the courts and judges PUSH fathers away from their children. Friend of the Court has no real underlying agenda for the best interest of the kids as they call it. They need to keep out and dissolve their misguided idealism. I hope judges can make both responsible if they both demonstrate being capable based on the pilars of morality. There are many mothers who hold their children as "aces" against their spouse for vindiction and spite. I am sure there are fathers who were awarded who do the same. Both ought to put that aside and support their children. Judges around this country need to look deep into each parent and decide to have both parents share the load and if both are within reason, eliminate child support or create a separate agency to oversee EACH case as to where all support goes and how it is spent. Child support is not a benefit or income, but alot of people see it that way. The Child support formula is UNFAIR and UNREASONABLE.

i am so glad we have the courts!! they are so smart! the judges and all people that played God ought to have to live under all the *** all of us good men and good fathers had to live under! i served this country in war so i could get to see my kids twice on each month!! the great thing about it is there was know abuse nobody attempted to know mw and me and my kids did'nt even exist until my wife was not happy! had an affair and i lost my children and i was the bad guy! i just jshut my mouth cause what the hell do i know! go dads! oh by the way did all these smart judges and family people get certificates from hevan cause they don't think their ------ stinks!!!

I am a 32 year old male I have my nine year old girl on the weekends. I do not pay child support and have never been to court yet thank god. I pay for my daughter's insurance , school clothes, lunch pretty much whtever it is I pay.My family and I pre paid for her college. We just moved to NC at her mother's requist. My fiance and I moved to durham because I got a great job there. then at the last minute her mom moved an hour away. The first weekend I got her I picked her up from her house and then asked her mom to meet me half way. She did, but when we met up she asked me for 50 bucks a week to travel half way. I now travel the whole way that's 4 hrs a weekend . I just don't understand I was the one that was nice enough to say okay i will pick up me and my fiance's life because they want a horse farm or whatever. Now I am the one that is punished and inconvenienced every weekend. We had it so good in Florida, I lived 5 minutes away. I really did not want to lose that but now here I am 1 hr away and the sad part is her mother doesn't care just keeps asking for money. but I already pay i just don't give money directly to her knowing her husband will take it and use it how he wants. anyway oh well. The Men get the shaft I;ll stop complaining now.