Not Your Dad's Divorce

Gender Inequality starts at home. To correct it beyond the front door, it has to be fixed at the dinner table. Aside from breast feeding, there is not a single provision that cannot be shared.

/there us a better way t0 divorce called collaborative divorce that includes a team of collaborative lawyers who agree to NOT go to court, divorce coaches for the couple and a child specialist that helps the parents understand where their child(ren) are emotionally. It costs much, much less and results in less damage to the family. The team, with the divorcing couple, make all the decisions about all aspects of their divorce, including parent time, custody and financial issues. I am a therapist and divorce coach/child specialist who also is going through a divorce myself with a minor child. This process is so much better! Look at the International Association of Collaborative Professionals for more information and referrals.

To all the fathers out there, I feel for y'all. I am "the" stepmom, and I wish my husband's son could come live with us. His mom likes the check. He spends ALL his time at his grandmother's house...not his moms. We are paying a car note for him, and we have him more than she does, but the courts don't want to see that. She is the one that cheated...not him. You "still" get screwed. It is time for the laws to change for the dads that DO the RIGHT thing.

The court ordered joint physical custody of our two girls 14 years ago and we still do not get along. We didn't agree on raising our children when we were married and we still don't. Joint custody does not work when parents don't want it. We have never "sat beside each other at special events". It's usually their father and his family who attend the events. Although the girls live with me only half the time they still feel like they need to spend more time with their father because his family has get-togethers all the time and they want to be included. I feel like I am not a part of their lives, other than to provide their needs. All their memories are being made with their "Disney Dad".

The courts systems is a joke. I went to court and fought for my two boys. I had not one, not two but three reports done and they all favored me by a long shot that I was far the suprior parent. I have proven to the courts that she does drugs. She even admitted that there are times she is passed out from "taking to many pain killers" that she sometimes don't know what the children are doing. I put a restrainering order on her new husband (she married the guy after knowing for 3 weeks) because he was hitting my boys. I had proven she let anybody into the house. Even the children attorney said I would be the better parent and that the mother only cares for herself. The mother never attended any of the schools functions including openhouses. She had called CPS (child protection service) on me three times. And finally on the third investegation, CPS called me and siad there is nothing wrong but becarefull becase the boys mother likes to make things up. CPS even started to investagate her on the own. And what do I get. every other weekend because they belong to their mother and not to the father.

When I divorced, my daughter was 5 yrs old. Fortunately I recieved custody of her. The agreement I made with her mom was that if I didn;t go after child support, she would give me prmary custody. How sad is that? My daughter is 20 now, & I wouldn;t change the opportunity I had to raise her for the world.

As a mother who is going through a divorce and has worked in the "system" for a while, I commend the fathers that do everything in their power to stay in their childrens lives. It truly makes a world of difference for them and for the mother. I know there are a lot of women out there that do things out of spite and it is truly sad because only the children suffer. Hopefully the court system will catch up to those of you that actually want to do the right thing for your children.

As a mother who is going through a divorce and works for the "system", I applaud the men for staying in your childrens lives, it truly makes a difference to them and to the mom. I agree, there are a lot of women out there that collect the support just to spite the father, but there are some of us who want nothing more than their children to have their father in their lives.

Hey Newsweek! You have a subject verb agreement error in the heading of this article. It should be "Praises". Come on!!!! Where is your integrity? Whom do you have as editors?

I'm a Father who has raised my son since he was a baby, now he's Thirteen. His mother did'nt want him in the beginning and made plenty of trouble for me and the courts. This has costs me bankruptcy and very little money to raise my son with all the needs a child requires. The court s made money the Lawyers cleaned my bank accounts. My sons mother never spent a dime to help raise my son. In short she never realy cared, Nor did she ever hire a lawyer, the courts allowed her to play games at my expense and my son's.

Macomb County Michigan is definitely anti-father.

Not because they hate us, but because that's where the MONEY is......

"For the sake of the child".......MY ASS!!!!!

I'm a Father who has raised my son since he was a baby, now he's Thirteen. His mother did'nt want him in the beginning and made plenty of trouble for me and the courts. This has costs me bankruptcy and very little money to raise my son with all the needs a child requires. The court s made money the Lawyers cleaned my bank accounts. My sons mother never spent a dime to help raise my son. In short she never realy cared, Nor did she ever hire a lawyer, the courts allowed her to play games at my expense and my son's.

I can not believe someone would say its harder for the woman to have the children ALL the time. Those women are basically getting a free ride, and get to look like the good guy. It makes me sick. If they don't work at all they even get their home paid for. The least you could do with your time is raise some children.

I was a single father for three years with joint custody of my two kids. My kids were 2 1/2 when i was divorced. I fought with everything I had to keep my kids and still fighting in courts to keep the custody order of 50/50. Some women only use the kids for the child support they will get. Where is the justice in that? As a father I love my kids and don't know what I would do without them. My kids are now 9 years old and I'm still fighting to keep them.The amount of money I spend on lawyers my kids could of had a few great holidays. Let's think of the kids.

Wish I had lived in Canada, I would have at least gotten fair hearing and parenting abilities with my kids.again, what a shame.

Hold on here!! Equal time? In what state are you in? I am a divorced father of two girls who has been unfairly treated by the courts in WV. My family court judge Louise Staton is the worst ever in Raleigh county or WV for that matter. I submitted to mediation, family planning and the like and still only got every other weekend. Also, why aren't support and parenting given equal credence in the courts. Because of parental alienation, that's why. Some women fell like since I'm the bad person she's divorcing, that my kids should fell the same. They (kids) are pressured into feeling like the custodial parent fells toward the dad, and that he' the BAD GUY and isn't to be trusted. I divorced her, NOT my kids. In a way I had to divorce them too, because she caused so much turbulence and uneasiness during the divorce, that the outcome was inevitable. Every other weekend was what I got and had to give that up and move away to keep from showing my frustractions with her and the system in front of my kids. Parental alienation is real and needs to be understood by the court and adressed as a REAL problem with America's children. Why are DHHS and the family court system seperate entities. They are one in the same to me. You can't discuss support issus at the same hearing as a vivtaion hearing in WV. WHY? the whole system needs seious overhauling and retooling in order for DAD's to get a fair shake inthe whole process of divorce. What a shame in America.I'm a disgruntled Dad and wish there was something I could do to change it but it's too late for my kids now. I loved my girls when they were growing up and still do, but our relationship is vastly different thean it had to be because of the alienation of myself by the other parent. I'm so sad for this loss in my life, my girls lives. I've missed so much that I'l never be able to repair because of the courts, lawyers and the like. What a shame.

I am currently fighting for more visitation rights with my daughter. I have been told over and over that it???s going to be expensive and that I will probably lose as mothers are almost always awarded custody but I will not give up. While the mother has had probably 20 boyfriends (3 of which have moved in and out) in the past two years I have had one and my daughter (4yrs old) has never met her. She is dating an individual who just got out of prison and I'm told that there???s nothing I can do. For Thanksgiving she wanted to take my daughter to her new boyfriend???s house so I didn???t even get to see her. If I don???t do exactly what she wants she prevents me from seeing her. For all you women out there who think its funny children are not weapons! Yes she is hurting me by not allowing me to see her, yes I often can't sleep at night and am tormented by the thought of not seeing my daughter, but you know what everything she is doing to me she is doing to her. I feel like I'm reliving the divorce my parents went through, their custody battle lasted from when I was 8 till my little brother turned 18. My daughter will often cry when she???s with me and ask why I don???t want to see her or why I don???t call her. The truth is I call all the time her mom just won???t let me talk to her. The Children In The Middle Class will tell you not to blame the parent but what am I supposed to do just let her think I don???t care. I'm a full time student (Jr in college) and along with paying for school am also paying child support and putting clothes on her back and food in her stomach while she???s at my house. I???m sick about hearing about all the woman and their child support (or lack there of) and living in poverty! When a man can???t afford to pay his rent or car payment cause of child support he???ll be told to get another job and looked at as a loser! Our system is set up to benefit the woman to not work as they will receive more child support and benefits. We pay the taxes on the money that is paid to child support and then the mother receives it TAX FREE and still gets to claim the child at the end of the year. So our 32k turns into 27k with child support taken out and all the way down to 22k after taxes. That???s assuming that you don???t have health care or 401k. I???m all for equal contribution and I???m all for equal rights men are more than just a check every two weeks we are fathers and people just like you! I know that this doesn???t apply to all cases or woman and I am a little bitter at my own situation!