Not Your Dad's Divorce

Shared parenting should be given as default custody. Otherwise it will amount to violation of human rights of both the children and the fathers involved. The current laws are atrocious/inhumane and are being abused by avengeful mothers against fathers.

For Nickelson to claim that "mother bias has largely gone by the wayside" is patently absurd. This, in a society where judges and mediators are bombarded with media images of infantile dads and supercompetent moms, and educated on news stories filled with mythological statistics on domestic violence?!? Judges and mediators don't have the time to properly evaluate incredibly complicated situations, so they have little to go on, other than stereotypes. The fact that Newsweek printed the accusation that fathers seek more time just to lower their child support payments, without presenting the obvious challenge (Isn't it equally logical that mothers would seek to limit a father's time in order to MAXIMIZE their child support payments?) proves that Newsweek fits right in with the country's anti-father bias.

Holy Moly. and I thought the problem in Kentucky were bad. Wow fathersright101 you win the prize.! South Carolina is just as backwards as Kentucky. Obviously your judges have to much free time on there hands for $50. And again you ex being the fairer or weaker sex, gets nothing on the contempt charge, yet this judge Armstrong wants to "Strong Arm" you into jail for $50. Where is the justice? You're right the court system does produce dead beat dad because they look at the immediate and not the long term. You accurately described a scenario that could happen. I am sorry that the so called Honorable Judge Armstrong did not have the same insight. Tell your friends and neighbors to forget him the next time they are in the voting booth and boot the bum out. This isn't family court its extortion. I hope things go better your way my friend, and to the co-worker who loaned you the $50 bucks, you have my respect and admiration.

This is only part 1, you have to continue and read part 2. What I wrote had too many characters so I had to break it into two sessions:

Part 1 in Beaufort, SC:
Regardless of how you view this, family courts must not be apart of the justice system. Too many times fathers have been denied their rights and still nothing has been done about it. In my case, my lawyer told me the approximate amount I would have to pay in child support but never once asked if I wanted more than visitation. I was never properly informed about child custody and with so much going on I put trust in the lawyer I had paid. If I had to research the law then why did I need her? This was/is her profession, not mine. I understand that there are new changes to be made and changes that have occurred but the final decision is the judges??? decision. Yes, you can continue to fight and fight but as we have all witnessed, the amount of time it takes and legal fees that are attached are outrageous. If you are a middle class parent fighting for custody or even the rights you are entitled, by the time the courts will entertain you, your mind and wallet are exhausted. You may have started out in the middle class but you will eventually end up in poverty and unable to pay the legal fees which causes the situation to continue with an added problem. It is amazing how the courts will tell you child support and visitation are two different issues but yet in the divorce proceedings, the same judge gives support and visitation at the same time (if you are in court at a later date for one the judge will not hear from you about the other). I am a resident of Beaufort, South Carolina and I feel the court system here manufactures ???Dead Beat Dads.??? For example: My former job was going through cutbacks and unfortunately I was one of the cuts. I was out of work for two and a half months in which I continued to pay child support. The third month I was unable to pay $50.00 dollars out of the court ordered $800.00 plus (per month). Like I said, I had just started a new job so I had no income at the time. I was ordered to court a month later, which happened to be two days before my first payday. The judge I had to appear before told me I would be arrested if I didn???t have the $50.00 in my pocket to pay at that moment. Luckily an old friend of mine (and new co-worker) was there and paid it for me. It amazes me how soon I could be dragged into court for $50.00 but it takes months (even years) to receive a court date when it deals with the fathers??? rights.

Part 2 in Beaufort, SC:
Now, the reason I say the court system here manufactures ???Dead Beat Dads??? is because I had a judge willing to detain me for 10 days which may have caused me to lose the job I had recently obtained. Which would have also caused me to be an additional $400.00 behind in child support (due to being detained). This would have possibly caused me to have to find another job (who knows how long this would take) so in turn I could have been arrested again for a minimal of six months and this distress would be all for $50.00. Not to mention I had never had an incident where I didn???t pay my child support in full and on time since we had gone to court to start our legal separation process. I am paying over $800.00 per month and I am responsible for driving three and a half hour to see my kids from SC to GA (every visitation because Judge Armstrong awarded her that). During the divorce Judge Robert Armstrong made it clear that if the guidelines set are not met, she and or I would be held in contempt of court. Guidelines such as refinance the home and vehicles to remove the others??? name from the property. I received the home and she wanted the BMW. I refinanced and she didn???t. The vehicle was later repossessed so we were back in court under a contempt motion before the same judge (Judge Robert Armstrong). At that time he states he would not hold her in contempt of court. I was threaten with 10 days in jail (and what ever would have followed) for $50.00 but a vehicle that still had my name on it at the time of seizure with a remaining balance over $20k, he find that she needs a little more time. If you can find true justice in this, I would be more then willing to list with an extremely open mind but until then, like I said before, it doesn???t matter what the laws are because the person with the gavel has that final word. Remove the bias lawyers and judges and maybe then we will have a justice system.
For further discussions, you may email me at: fathersrights101@yahoo.com

Part 1 in Beaufort, SC:
Regardless of how you view this, family courts must not be apart of the justice system. Too many times fathers have been denied their rights and still nothing has been done about it. In my case, my lawyer told me the approximate amount I would have to pay in child support but never once asked if I wanted more than visitation. I was never properly informed about child custody and with so much going on I put trust in the lawyer I had paid. If I had to research the law then why did I need her? This was/is her profession, not mine. I understand that there are new changes to be made and changes that have occurred but the final decision is the judges??? decision. Yes, you can continue to fight and fight but as we have all witnessed, the amount of time it takes and legal fees that are attached are outrageous. If you are a middle class parent fighting for custody or even the rights you are entitled, by the time the courts will entertain you, your mind and wallet are exhausted. You may have started out in the middle class but you will eventually end up in poverty and unable to pay the legal fees which causes the situation to continue with an added problem. It is amazing how the courts will tell you child support and visitation are two different issues but yet in the divorce proceedings, the same judge gives support and visitation at the same time (if you are in court at a later date for one the judge will not hear from you about the other). I am a resident of Beaufort, South Carolina and I feel the court system here manufactures ???Dead Beat Dads.??? For example: My former job was going through cutbacks and unfortunately I was one of the cuts. I was out of work for two and a half months in which I continued to pay child support. The third month I was unable to pay $50.00 dollars out of the court ordered $800.00 plus (per month). Like I said, I had just started a new job so I had no income at the time. I was ordered to court a month later, which happened to be two days before my first payday. The judge I had to appear before told me I would be arrested if I didn???t have the $50.00 in my pocket to pay at that moment. Luckily an old friend of mine (and new co-worker) was there and paid it for me. It amazes me how soon I could be dragged into court for $50.00 but it takes months (even years) to receive a court date when it deals with the fathers??? rights.

This was a somewhat warm and fuzzy article but nonetheless, did have some merit. Allyson needs to get real and her head out of the sand. I would like to have seen more about the devastating affects this has on kids in the article. The child custody statistics on children that come from fatherless homes are 63% of youth suicides, 90% of runaways, 71% of pregnant teenagers, and 71% of high school dropouts. Kids who have chemical abuse problems who don???t have fathers include 75% of the numbers, 85% of the kids in prisons, 80% of rapists who were motivated with anger, and 85% of the kids that are suffering from behavioral disorders. This is the reality of what the corrupt family court system has generated.

This was a somewhat warm and fuzzy article but nonetheless, did have some merit. Allyson needs to get real and her head out of the sand. I would like to have seen more about the devastating affects this has on kids in the article. The child custody statistics on children that come from fatherless homes are 63% of youth suicides, 90% of runaways, 71% of pregnant teenagers, and 71% of high school dropouts. Kids who have chemical abuse problems who don???t have fathers include 75% of the numbers, 85% of the kids in prisons, 80% of rapists who were motivated with anger, and 85% of the kids that are suffering from behavioral disorders. This is the reality of what the corrupt family court system has generated.

Gee I am johngalt.. Are we in the 1950's or 60's. Stay together to prove you're an adult. Gee maybe Wally and the Beav will be on later. Come on. You call being miserable something your children should see each day. Oh that is just a fine example. I am I to believe there are no video games, no VCR or DVD in your household either? We as a society evolved and we also learned that our children learn from what they see and emotions they sense. Seeing you stick together and sensing you are miserable is a good example? The failure here is the Family Court system and pre-determined outcomes. I see the Kentucky postings here on just eliminating the father becuase the mother remarried or has a supporting boyfriend? That might be good for horses on that first day in May but Kentucky wake up! its time every one called their state assembly or legislator, Congressmen, Senator, and voice your disapproval at the current system and demand some revisions. Remember their actions or in action when you go to the voting booth next time. If you want change to have to make change and hold those in charge accountable. Call you local and state Family Court systems and voice your disconcern. One voice make a difference, 100 voices makes you heard, 1000 voices means you get the point across, 10,000 voices you are a force, 1,000,000 voices means change.

Family court is probably not the place to settle custody matters. The article mentioned Parental Alienation (PA) . It did not mention it is at epidemic proportions today. It did not mention that doing PA is to commodify the child and abuse the child in one of the most insidious ways. It did not mention that few courts recognize the existence of PA. It did not mention that there are groups that enter and inturde into family court proceedings that reject PA. One such group took my precious daughter from me. It was the Justice for Children. They reject PA and are sexist. Courts allow such demented and confused groups to neter and intervene because the courts themselves and their so-called professionals are functioning with a certain level of addiction and addictive behaviors. So tell me when we will ever see justice done in a family court.

People can argue until they're blue in the face whether a mothers or a father's participation is more significant to the healthy development of their child/children. It doesn't take a Ph.D. to know children need both parents in their life. Why is it so offensive to think a father should get or want just as much time with their child as the mother? In a society where we look down on deadbeat parents, do we really want to discourage fathers from seeking maximum time with their children? Maybe I don't have a big fancy degree, but I'm smart enough to understand "Kids Need Their Dads Too!" Please join me and many others in Kentucky to send this message to the Kentucky Legislature. Call the Kentucky Legislative Message Line today at 1-800-372-7181 and ask the whole legislature to support Bill BR57. No matter where you live, please help make sure each child in KY has the same right to know and love their daddy. http://www.letmeseemyson.blogspot.com

The man who writes about his 3 ex-wives needs to look at himself. Why are you on wife #4?? Hmmm -- maybe YOU are the problem?? But of course, blame is placed on his ex-wives and we have to hear about how one ex-wife cuts his toenails in front of the other spouses -- this man sounds like he has a few "issues".