They’re Baaack

It's wonderful if parents allow their children to return home but grown children should not feel entitled to that. Some of the commenters here suggest that a parent has a duty to take their grown children in--not so. Peoplein their 20s are most certainly adults and should behave as such. Before I was married I always had roommates and at least 2 jobs while putting myself through school at the same time. My parents told me I was more than welcome to move home but I guess my pride kept me from doing so. The point is--if parents are giving enough to let their kids move back home, those kids should recognize what great parents they have and try to chip in when possible. Make dinner, buy groceries from time to time, or pick a utility bill and pay it each month. No free ride. I guess I just don't buy into the whole "23 is still a kid" concept. It's not.

Looks like we're all headed back to Walton's Mountain with three generations in the same house. That was generally the way things were until after WWII when suburbia took off. In the early 1900's grandpa died in one room and a midwife delivered his grandson in another. Families took care of each other to a great extent. There were much fewer divorces and less interest in self.

If your chid moves home after being on his or her own after college or a job loss, the you should remind them that they cannot just come and go as they please. They need to under stand that they are not in college any more and that thay can help with or do things that you did before they left the first time. Laundry, house cleaning, and being responsible for their behavior to include respect for house rules now that they moved back home. You don't have to treat them like children, and they, in turn, must act like responsible adults.

If your chid moves home after being on his or her own after college or a job loss, the you should remind them that they cannot just come and go as they please. They need to under stand that they are not in college any more and that thay can help with or do things that you did before they left the first time. Laundry, house cleaning, and being responsible for their behavior to include respect for house rules now that they moved back home. You don't have to treat them like children, and they, in turn, must act like responsible adults.

What silliness. Our 23 year old daughter returned to live in our home and work in our area, and it has been an enormous joy to live with her as an adult. Not like roommates, but also not like having a dependent child, the relationship has evolved into a new stage. We are babyboomer parents approaching retirement, and she has brought freshness, activity, and a youthful perspective into our world. We have lived in a variety of countries over the last 20 plus years and experienced cultures where extended families are the norm, so perhaps we have approached the experience of living in an multi-generational family differently from the subjects of your article. But we see our neighbors going through similar experiences with their returning children. Does it take adjustment for another stage of life? Absolutely. Is it worth it? Stupid question - This is what life is all about.

19 years old is still a kid and many 23 year olds are too. If the kids are working and contributing to the household, I don't see any problem with letting them live a home a little longer. I moved back home after college and lived with my parents until I married at age 24, as did my spouse. Our girls (ages 13 & 14) know they are welcome to live at home until they marry but will be expected to go to college, work and contribute. The time for discussion is now so there aren't any surprises later.

My wife and I became "empty-nesters" just two months ago after thirty seven years of having children at home. They are now all GONE, and they know it and we know it. It's the greatest feeling to have my wife to myself again, and we are enjoying immensely. They have no intention of moving back again, not now, not ever. And if they did, they would not under any circumstances be allowed to do so. That's not hard hearted, that's sensible. If they do not learn to stand on their own two feet now, they never will. We're not going to be around forever. Parents that allow their kids to move back home are not being wise at all. Love has nothing to do with it. It's common sense. But then in these days, that's the problem with common sense, it's not common enough.

It never ceases to amaze me how adult children move back home with parents. I have friends in their mid 40's to early 50's living with their parents. Most claim independance early until they realize they have to actually work for a living and pay living expences. Then there are those that delude themselves into thinking they are, "helping out their parents." I left home on my 18th B-Day and never moved back home. I have had a job since I was 12 and for the life of me couldn't imagine anyone who didn't.
I was one of ten so we all had to work at an early age. I guess they would be "homeless" (literally) while living wth a parent because of the economy (of course they'll never admit to that.) If I was lazy, didn't want to work or pay rent, I guess I could always blame it on the econmy. That's a good scape goat.
What would they do if the parents were not there? My advise to the parents...? Move and send post cards frequently from exotic places after your kids leave home and live it up!

It never ceases to amaze me how adult children can move back home after supposedly declaring Iindependance. Most never really are independant but delude themselves into thinking they are. I have friends in their mid 40's to early 50's that live with parents. The economy has nothing to do with their decision. Unless of course you consider a lazy, don't want to work and have to pay rent an excuse. The parents are just as guilty though, I say put them out and keep them out. Where would they go if you weren't there? Guess they would be forced to be responsible huh?

This article is just strange to say the least......... I hope that the kids remember how MOM felt when the kids needed to come back home and live because they are burdened with Student Loans and cant find a job in an ecomony that is called the worst in a generation.

Hey Kids....When mom cant live on her own anymore, When she is too elderly to care for herself..... remember this when you have to make the choice to "keep her in your home and take care of her" or "send her to a nursing home"..........

It looks like and sounds like, according to moms thinking........She would rather not burden you, she knows first hand what a burden it is, she would rather you made the choice "To send her to the nursing home" Since she knows first hand, what a burden it will be on your sex life. I am sure she wouldnt want to stain your new couch with her leaky Adult Diapers either, she knows first hand how burdensome stains on a new couch can be.........

Mom wont mind, She knows first hand how hard it is , she knows the burden, she knows she is selfish......and you know what kids????

YOU SHOULD BE SELFSIH TOO.......

When that time comes.......

i am also working full time and contributing to household expenses.

Most of my friends at one point have moved back into their parents' homes after we graduated highschool while attending college. I had always dreamed of the day when I was free, to have my own apartment. I then moved 2000 miles away wirth my fiance of three yrs and had a terrible fall out when I found out I was pregnant. Not only did the life I built with my fiance crumble, I had to make the decision to move back home with the parents so that I could get my finances back in order before the baby comes (Due April) It was my worst nightmare. We have all had to make sacrafices and it hasnt been easy. Family will and should always be there for you. I look forward to getting on my own two feet with my newest addition this summer. I am 23.

Most of my friends at one point have moved back into their parents' homes after we graduated highschool while attending college. I had always dreamed of the day when I was free, to have my own apartment. I then moved 2000 miles away wirth my fiance of three yrs and had a terrible fall out when I found out I was pregnant. Not only did the life I built with my fiance crumble, I had to make the decision to move back home with the parents so that I could get my finances back in order before the baby comes #Due April# It was my worst nightmare. We have all had to make sacrafices and it hasnt been easy. Family will and should always be there for you. I look forward to getting on my own two feet with my newest addition this summer. I am 23.

I share an apt with a grown son. Note the share... We split the bills, I cook (by choice, it's as much hobby with me as necessity) he does all the heavy cleaning, our bedrooms are off-limits to each other. Generally we do keep each other posted on our where-abouts. Both of us have good jobs, it came about because we both found ourselves single, and somewhat at loose ends, and not real happy living alone. It works, primarily because we both recognize that the other is an adult. I think that's the key, and it's much harder to do than one would expect.

Welfare: Adult children expect it from parents. Corporations and banks expect it from Government. One is too proud to work. The other is too big to fail. Whence come our arrogant sense of entitlement?

Welfare: Adult children expect it from parents. Corporations and banks expect it from Government. One is too proud to work. The other is too big to fail. Whence come our arrogant sense of entitlement?

I don't understand why its so difficult all of a sudden for parents to go on trips or dates when their kids move back, its not like they need supervision all the time, they've lived alone before, they can handle it.

What a bunch of horrible people. Why don't they just tell their own flesh and blood they're not welcome in the family home. At least that's honest. Anyway, why can't their kids afford their own place? Because baby boomers have been siphoning the wealth off the economy for the last 30 years and maintain their stranglehold on the best jobs, the best neighborhoods, etc. I am going now to cry a river for these people.