As it turns out, our faith in the American promise of mutual fund investment growth was false. We gave $400 a month through payroll deduction to a TSA( Tax sheltered anunity) program for 25 years. Thanks to our recent economic woes our "Guaranteed" promise of gain has resulted in a $30K "paper" loss from our total historical contributions. I know this loss seems small to many, but this was real hard earned money that we confidently gave as investment in our future. I guess I am to blame for listening to our advisors who continued to say that the values will return. I feel as though we have been robbed and experience bitterness to those who have used people like us to further their failed agendas with absolutely no accountability. We will spend the rest of our poor insignificant lives looking for the silver lining in this cloud. All the while there are many who walk away with their fortunes in protected investments. Now we will regulate after the activity that has been largely to blame for this, after the fact! My only hope is that this has taught something to my children and for their sake that my wife and I don't become too large of a burden to them as we grow old. The cynic in me thinks the Republicans have just gotten away with the largest tax increase ever, or the biggest crime ever perpetrated by a few people on a large segment of population. The sad part for all of us is now what I believe to be a nation that is no more secure, more likely less secure because of our weakened economy, Our infrastructure and our educational system is worse off and behind more now than before "No child left behind". I feel as though we have all been lead blindly to the slaughter by the leadership who still honestly believes it healthy for America to engage in wars, spend billions on smart weaponry and other welfare programs that prop up our defense industry. In the meantime we have sacrificed many lives devastating our military families, the health and welfare of our general population and created further havoc on our environment. If our country was ever ready for a change in leadership it is now.
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Shopaholics’ Dilemma
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And what are those issues?
There are many. People overshop because they're lonely, bored, angry, they're trying to deal with a loss or they want to belong to an appearance-obsessed culture. They want to put forth an image of wealth and power. They want to feel better about themselves. Some people do it out of excitement and as a way to calm themselves. It's not always negative emotions.
And does it calm them?
Maybe for the moment. But we have a mood study that compares normal buyers and compulsive buyers. For normal buyers, the purchase mood goes up and the postpurchase mood is even higher, but it's not a very steep curve. For compulsive buyers, the mood is lower when they start, it goes way up when they purchase and [then] comes down even lower than it was before the purchase.
What would you tell someone who wants
to
spend m
or
e during a recession because of the sales?
I would say that they've got to realize that they will never get enough of what they really need. They have to tease out what it is they're really shopping for. How does this function in their life? What's the underlying reason, how did it all start? What triggers it in the present? What are the consequences? There's a whole host of things they've got to explore. What I would also say is leave your credit cards at home, figure out what your danger zones are and don't go near them. But if somebody is so bent on buying something because it's so cheap, [they're] not going to think about that.
Can a shopping addiction lead
to
crime, especially at a time like this?
Yes. It happens sometimes. People who get desperate will open up credit cards in somebody else's name, they'll steal from their parents, they'll embezzle from their companies and use company credit cards for their personal purchases.
How does an addict s
to
p himself or herself from getting
to
that point?
You've really got to nip it in the bud. I have people carry around a shopping journal, and the minute the urge strikes, they need to write about the urge. How does their body know they want to shop? What thoughts, feelings, memories, ideas, impulses go along with this, and what do they think is triggering them? And then they need to ask: What's their heart saying? What will be good about shopping? What's their head saying? And then they make a decision. If they decide to shop, they've got to plan their purchases and do it in a mindful way.
You write that we are conditioned
to
want. Where does that stem from?
We are conditioned to want by our culture, which sells us the idea that happiness is only as far away as the next purchase, and that what you purchase will change your life.
© 2008
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