What Sex Workers Want

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  • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 11:21:40 AM

    "Apparently she thinks she deserves to be provided for in the fashion in which she feels she is entitled, and does not have to give anything back, sexual or otherwise."

    hammerofthor:
    I don't have to give a damn thing to my husband, nor he to me. We live -together- and actually love each other (strange thing these days I know). I don't "stay at home" but I'm not working for money either... I believe there are more important things in this world that the almighty dollar and he agrees. I also have 2 daughters and a full college load and I'm generally as busy with my responsibilities as he is with his. What exactly is wrong with that?

    I'm having trouble understanding why people cannot get the concept of an equal relationship (married or otherwise). In fact my husband and I were together 2 years (living together) before we married and the only thing that changed when we wed was my last name and his paycheck (he's military so BAH increased). Drop the cynicism and attempts to vilify me and accept the fact that not every woman in the world marries for the paycheck.

    • Posted By: hammerofthor @ 12/20/2008 11:30:43 AM

      People aren't agreeing with your concept of an "equal relationship", and this definitely relates to the original article on legalizing prostitution, because you are living off of your husband's paycheck. That isn't equal. No college bills to pay? Full ride scholarship on academic merit, then? Good for you, put that brain to good use. Other people don't have a brain like yours, so they have to use other body parts to earn money. Which is what you are doing, even though you won't admit it. The food on the table, the roof over the heads of both yourselves and your daughters? Your husband is providing that. You are being disingenous to have us believe that you do nothing in return for that.

      Prostitution should be legal. It already is, it is just called marriage.

      • Posted By: bostonarts @ 12/20/2008 12:06:49 PM

        I'm so sick of the men who are posting that are making this a gender issue. Who exactly is taking care of the children? Kayletta is. Having a family is work, whether that work is within or outside the home. Kayletta isn't being lazy, she's going to school so that she can become even more of a contributer to society. Plus, her husband loves her and I'm sure he takes pride in taking care of her and the family financially. When you love someone, sharing your money with them is the smallest issue. It's sharing your heart that really matters.

      • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 11:52:15 AM

        I'm not providing a single thing to him that would not still be there if I was bringing in equal or more money than he is. So exactly how is that prostitution? I have worked and made decent money while we have been together and nothing was different then! I realize that my situation may be unusual because I have a man who realizes that a woman's mind (intelligence and personality) is more important than the hole between her legs.

  • Posted By: etfonedhome @ 12/20/2008 11:04:13 AM

    the thing that amazes me is how people never seem to realise that laws only affect the law- abiding. no amount of laws can ever stop anything from happening. and while i agree that some, (very few, all of which can be found in 7 of the Ten Commandments ) things should be illigal, passing laws really only makes crime easier. if that makes no sense to you ask Al Capone how he made most of his money. by breaking a law called prohibition.

    • Posted By: jjleonetti @ 12/20/2008 12:03:51 PM

      If you want to base your life on keeping the Big Ten Commandments, they are just the beginning of the hundreds of rules you are required to keep. Better to follow the two basic rules of the heart: Love God and Love your neighbor as you would love yourself. While it is a good policy to provide health testing for sex ("slaves") workers and their customers with regular disease testing, that won't necessarily stop the spread of disease. My Great Uncle Al Capone made alot of money from illegal booze, he also made a boatload from illegal gambling and pimping. He was never convicted for any of these activities. Ironically he went to Federal Prison for not paying his income taxes where he died from the complications of SYPHILIS !

  • Posted By: gdccreation @ 12/20/2008 12:03:29 PM

    What is worst 1 or 2 years in Jail like Martha Stewart or coufing up 2million dollars to the IRS for tax evasion,I prefer to go to pay 2 million

  • Posted By: cowboy2121 @ 12/20/2008 12:03:12 PM

    eft ,trooper101st it has been nice having a intelligent debate with adults but i am gonna sign off here and do something constructive with my day

  • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 11:09:30 AM

    G2G37:
    Hypothetical questions will get you absolutely nowhere; however, in the interest of fairness I will answer you question truthfully.

    Substantial money means different things to different people. I've been offered a few thousand for a night (yes I physically SAW the money) and turned it down. I would like to say there is no way in hell I would agree to whore myself out, however I've never been shown a million bucks and been told sex was all I needed to put out to get it. If the amount would set my daughters for life, I can say I'd consider it. I cant guarantee if I would do it or not. If I did I doubt I would be happy with myself any longer but I can admit that my daughter's are worth any amount of self-loathing on my part. So in short, its possible, but no where near probable.

    • Posted By: who cares at all @ 12/20/2008 11:33:01 AM

      would you be happier w/ yourself the morning after a one night stand? At least w/ the cash, you'd have something to show for your lapse in judgement, lol...

      • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 12:02:37 PM

        Considering I, like many women, have had a one night stand, I can honestly say it doesnt bother me. I'm a grown woman with the ability to choose who I want to sleep with and how often. If the choice is for a single night, how is that so different than 5,000 nights, merely a different in the length of time. And just to clarify, I made it a one night, not him. I chose not to continue it so I can't even blame it on the man. Yet I still have no issue with what I did.

        I full well realize I have some hang-ups about being paid for sex, I see it as a much different thing, payment versus gift.

    • Posted By: hammerofthor @ 12/20/2008 11:16:57 AM

      Why can't your daughters get jobs and set themselves up for life?

      • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 11:22:14 AM

        They are 5 and 4, so last time I checked, that would be illegal.

        • Posted By: hammerofthor @ 12/20/2008 11:25:30 AM

          I was of course referring to when they were adults. You have no obligation to "set them up for life" and are not likely to be able to do so anyway. People should be responsible for themselves, not expecting handouts their entire lives.

          • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 11:33:06 AM

            Its not an obligation that I feel, merely the desire of a mother wanting to save her children some hardship. And yes, I do realize its not likely to happen.

  • Posted By: ghayes333 @ 12/20/2008 4:43:08 AM

    I can just see it now, a house of God on one corner, and a house of Prostitution on another corner. If this is a christian country as is reported to be the case, than you can not rationalize in any way shape or form having prostitution. It's wrong according to the word of God and no legality by the laws of man will make it right. Congress, the President, or the Supreme court can not legalize what God has determined to be wrong. Prostitution weakens the moral fiber of a nation and causes a stench throughout the country that will eventually help to weaken that nation even further. It's like a cancer that slowly destroys the body. Nothing good can come of it. In the end prostitution will eat away at the very fabric of this country.

    • Posted By: read between the lines @ 12/20/2008 12:01:11 PM

      You do not force morality upon people, your encouage proper behavior. Learn the stories, many of the prominent figures in the Bible were prostitues or associated with them. As a Christian it is your responsibility to reflect Love and offer an example of how to act. Legalizing prostitution will not mean that everyone will partake in this type of "transaction". In fact, most will continue to find the business somewhat repulsive.

      Take the high ground.

    • Posted By: read between the lines @ 12/20/2008 12:00:34 PM

      You do not force morality upon people, your encouage proper behavior. Learn the stories, many of the prominent figures in the Bible were prostitues or associated with them. As a Christian it is your responsibility to reflect Love and offer an example of how to act. Legalizing prostitution will not mean that everyone will partake in this type of "transaction". In fact, most will continue to find the business somewhat repulsive.

      Take the high ground.

  • Posted By: cowboy2121 @ 12/20/2008 12:00:03 PM

    Here's an idea, make a living standing up like most of us do..lmao english teacher you mean like the five different teachers in the news lately for having sex with underage students?or maybe you mean like the police who have been filmed in ft worth texas parked on back alleys with prostitutes in their squad cars haven sex,or maybe you mean like the the well i dont know of any profession that has never had sex involved (i started to say president but bill clinton blew that o no wait monica was the one blowing)

  • Posted By: cowboy2121 @ 12/20/2008 11:53:19 AM

    mzsantana what prostitutes do is no more digusting then what the catholic church does to young boys and how many serius criminal offenders has religion bred?lets start with the ones that claim God told them to kill someone and go from there

    • Posted By: MzSantana @ 12/20/2008 11:59:48 AM

      I agree with you that child abuse is disgusting and guess what it's also ILLEGAL! I don't condone the abuse that children suffer just like I don't condone prostitution. I am not religious so spouting off about the catholic church doesn't bother me. I think that any abuse suffered by anyone is disgusting. I don't think that it's ok for these hookers to be mis treated however, they put themselves in that situation so for that I have no sympathy. Get some job skills, do something else that you are proud of.

  • Posted By: etfonedhome @ 12/20/2008 11:29:04 AM

    kayletta
    yea although they are close to the mark people that say women only marry for money are off base. I am living proof. i am a Broke, unemployed disabled Veteran, yet my wife not only married me but loves me as well.
    but where they are close to the mark is, if a homeless man and a millionaire both walk into a nightclub, who will come out with more women's phone numbers?

    • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 11:34:43 AM

      I would not doubt for a moment that the millionaire would, but put them on equal footing as regular people, not defined by their status in the social stratification and I think the results would change.

      • Posted By: bostonarts @ 12/20/2008 11:58:07 AM

        Kayletta, you're alright, girl! Plus, et, women who choose men for their money are nothing like your wife, they're shallow and self centered.

  • Posted By: cowboy2121 @ 12/20/2008 11:55:56 AM

    bostonarts as i said a marriage or any relationship has to be equal or one is getting screwed and the other is doing the screwing asnd if you had been reading from the very beginning of my comments you would have seen that my comments were to make it safer for the sex workers as well as cutting down on the profitablity of human slavery but then i dont expect people to actually know what they are saying first why should that change now?

  • Posted By: cowboy2121 @ 12/20/2008 11:48:16 AM

    mzsantana you are a snall minded religious heretic preaching your blasphemy with no concept of the actual facts or truth in countrys where prostitution is legal they pay taxes and contribute to society thru providing their own health care insurance which creates jobes in the insurance industry and the health care industry as well as the legalized prostitutes are not only tested for diseases each and every week but are also tested for drug use which meanbs legalizing it would reduce the number of drug addicts that the religious world creates thru their molestation and theft thru lies about donations to god

    • Posted By: MzSantana @ 12/20/2008 11:55:36 AM

      So because I think prostitution is nasty I am religious? I am not religious I am realistic. I live in a city where I see hookers almost daily. None of them are trying to go to school or make themselves better. They are out there selling their bodies for drugs and money. History is history, prostitution is not how it used to be. And, it's really funny to me how you equate marriage with prostitution, I make more money then my husband so, are you saying that he is a hooker? Also, talk about slanging insults calling me small minded? Get over it prostitution is NASTY!

  • Posted By: etfonedhome @ 12/20/2008 11:33:33 AM

    cowboy
    i dont think you understand me. my entire point is prostitution, while wrong, should br perfectly legal in the US.
    on that we agree. how ever we part views on your ideas about women and marriage. not ALL women marry for money. in fact i would see not even most.

    • Posted By: hammerofthor @ 12/20/2008 11:44:15 AM

      Some people are joking here about all women marrying for money, like that line about the diamond on the ring finger indicating you are a prostitute that we've all heard before, but I don't think they really believe that is literally true. Go ask your mom about that one if you think that is the literal truth, and see how she likes that comment.

      But, some women pursue dating the same way a prostitute would purse a john, no question. I once knew someone who worked at a Major League Baseball stadium, and she gave me an absolutely fascinating and informative account of the activities on the exclusive club level of the stadium. Seems that it was routinely filled with wealthy businessmen and single women who wanted to meet them. The men may or may not have been married, but the women didn't care about marital status or baseball. They were dressed to impress and there to get access to those wealthy high roller types on the top dollar level of the stadium. This is prostitution no matter how you look at it, and regardless of whether the interactions that took place after dates were made were one time only or led to marriage, it's about women using their physical assets to get money.

      • Posted By: bostonarts @ 12/20/2008 11:55:34 AM

        ENOUGH ABOUT WOMEN! The question is about sex workers, male or female or transgendered. This is not a gender issue and those of you who are making it one obviously have your own issues with women, let alone female prostitutes.

  • Posted By: wildbeast @ 12/20/2008 11:54:20 AM

    Once again, this topic is taboo and sacred, but let us not forget it was the bible who talked of the whores. Legalize it and set rules and controls and tax it. It allows police to instead focus on the types of crimes we all feel should be focused on . Sexual exportation of anyone, wheter it be a minor, gay, or someone suggled these folks have rights and would be better served. That way we can become a progessive society rather than adding another law that serves only one side of the community. This takes the controls out the hands of the pimps and independent operators and the allows the true criminals to be proscuted and the lawful act to be controlled
    We are trusting the wrong folks, look at what the lawful bankers and mortgage companies have done 2-3 times in my life time. Not to mention Big Oil, and congress. It time to set aside our differencies and make a difference.

  • Posted By: chessking989 @ 12/20/2008 11:52:38 AM

    I say legalize it,it would be much safer. And by the way, if you legalize drugs it would all but get rid of the crime rate in the inner cities. I'm not a drug taker, but I feel like those of you who want to do drugs,well let them do it. You could tax it like any other business,and this country could get out of debt fast. O' their are people who say this will drive up health care cost, but what have we done about that lately,NOTHING??????????? (NATHAN PERRY) From, NEW ORLEANS.LA.

  • Posted By: MzSantana @ 12/20/2008 11:36:39 AM

    You can't be serious. Prostitution is not a noble profession. In no way do hooker contribute to society other then to pollute it. They don't pay taxes or add to the world in any way. They should have been arrested for this crap.

    • Posted By: bostonarts @ 12/20/2008 11:51:50 AM

      HELLO! If prostitution was decriminalized, then prostitutes WOULD be paying taxes!

  • Posted By: bostonarts @ 12/20/2008 11:46:45 AM

    COWBOY 2121: Oh please! As though women can't make their own money. My mom makes more of the household income than my dad, so does that make HIM the prostitute? And since when is a marraige all about sex and money? What about mutual love, respect, and caring for one another?

    It seems to me that the REAL issue in this article is protecting prostitutes from abuse. Does anyone watch Private Practice? Yes, it is only a television show, but on this week's episode a young woman who was trying to pay for school by prostitution was beaten within an inch of her life. She was too scared to go to the police to report the abuse because then SHE would get in trouble. Sex workers are just trying to protect themselves from this same abuse. If a woman goes to a bar and picks up a guy for sex and he beats her up, you know she's going to prosecute. Shouldn't sex workers have that same right without fear of retribution?

    And that's just talking about the sex workers who have chosen their profession. What about those who are under duress, that have effectively been sold into the sex trade? Hopefully, decriminalizing prostitution would help those who cannot help themselves.

  • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 10:44:24 AM

    I find the thought of prostitution saddening. The idea that you give yourself to someone for a set amount of money leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Its not a moral issue or a religious one for me, but an issue with psychological and sociological repercussions for everyone. That said, it is not for me to place my beliefs or personal issues on anyone else. If they are comfortable with their life-style, then who am I to say they should be ashamed? As long as this behavior is commencing between consenting adults, so be it.

    As for the religiously moral posters, I would counsel you to take care of your own soul, and let others do the same. By spreading a message of hate and intolerence you are doing the exact opposite of what Jesus commanded everyone to do. Hate the sin, but love the sinner. Its a terribly hard thing to do, I know, but try. Everyone deserves to feel protected and have their basic welfare maintained by law, no matter if you believe what they are doing is amoral or not.

    To those who believe that marriage is merely a legal form of prostitution or that men must "pay" for a wife. I beg to differ. I am married and my husband does not "pay" for me. I live in our house and eat our food and wear my clothes and buy presents for my daughters and none of it hinges on whether or not I provide sex. I am not with him for what he pays for or gives me and he is not with me based on physical intimacy. If you cannot say the same truthfully I would advise finding a new relationship or seeking some help (and no I'm not saying this in any condescending or hateful way). I only mean that there are better things out there for those who seek them.

    • Posted By: chalyo @ 12/20/2008 11:04:01 AM

      Kayletta:

      While I understand some of your points, I have to respectfully disagree when you say that sex isn't important to a man. Truth be told, a man thinks about sex 2-5 times each minute; and if he is not getting it at home, he will go out and get it elsewhere (and it may be with a prostitute).

      Now, your comment about your husband not paying for you. Would you be with your husband if he were not a good provider? Also, if your marriage all of a sudden went south (regardless of fault) are you saying that you would not expect alimony and child support? And if the man kept the kids, would you want to pay him alimony and support? The bottom line is that as long as there are men, prostitutes will be around and make plenty of money. But I will tell you that if it ever becomes legal, the golddiggers, and other women who because of what a man has will become a thing of the past.

      • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 11:30:17 AM

        I never said sex wasnt important to men, only that if that is all there is the relationship has issues.

        And actually I think alimony is silly and my daughters are not his, so no I would not expect child support. However if they were, yes I would expect that he would help take care of that which he helped create. In turn, yes I would help take care of them if he had custody. I do believe in equality of law. As for my marriage going south, nothing is guaranteed however, he and I both work to keep our home happy, stable, and loving.

        • Posted By: chalyo @ 12/20/2008 11:46:29 AM

          That is good to know that you and your husband work hard to keep it happy, stable, and loving. Maybe there is hope for me yet. But I can tell you that from a single man's perspective, it is totally disheartening to know that almost everyone is screwed up these days and the sanctity of marriage is all but non-existent.

  • Posted By: englishteacher @ 12/20/2008 11:45:33 AM

    Well, then are the whores ready to start paying federal, state and local income taxes on their "hard earned" money? I seriously doubt it. The police have too many legitimate crimes against law-abiding, tax-paying citizens to worry about . Here's an idea, make a living standing up like most of us do. That said, johns should be prosecuted for going to whores, just like the whores should for whoring.

  • Posted By: anthonyrashad@msn.com @ 12/20/2008 11:45:28 AM

    How can you call Sharmus, a tall transgendered woman when this is a man. I think that sex workers should be given the chance to earn money and pay taxes. I have nothing against decriminalizing prostitution. I believe this would make it safer and cut out the so called Pimps.

  • Posted By: chalyo @ 12/20/2008 11:36:36 AM

    Kayletta:

    Your comment:

    "I believe there are more important things in this world that the almighty dollar and he agrees. " is very old-school. Let's look at it this way: Nowadays Romance without finance has no chance! If you don't believe me, the next time your light bill is due, tell the clerk where you pay "I don't have any money, but I got some love I can give you as payment" and watch how fast you are shown the door. Or go to your mortgage holder. Albeit sad, there is not a lot that you can do in this country without the almighty dollar. Not an opinion, but a statement of fact.

    • Posted By: Kayletta @ 12/20/2008 11:44:06 AM

      I will not disagree that money is centralized in modern America, but although my view may be old fashioned it is one I hold true to. There are more important things than money. That said, my husband certainly did not marry me for money (I had to leave my job and move 900 miles to be with him), so if money was almighty why would we be together?
      You cannot do much of anything without money these days, but look at the good and benefit that charities and volunteers can do. I've seen a dozen or more parks and facilities constructed in my area (S. Mississippi) after Katrina through charity and volunteers. Money is a necessary things, yes, but it will never be the most important thing to me.

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