Why She Cuts

There are many other ways to self-injure than cutting, and it affects adults as well as teenagers. I began inflicting pain on myself in my 20s, and, at 33, I still self-injure, but not by cutting - by inflicting pain on my body in other ways, like hitting my limbs until they bruise, or scratching myself. I would consider myself a "normal" woman, with no history of mental illness and no past trauma or abuse. No one would know that I suffer with this often uncontrollable urge to inflict pain on myself. I wish more studies would be done on self-injury beyond cutting. I'm sure many more people privately suffer with this than are willing to admit it. And I bet we'd all be surprised to learn who makes up this demographic.

There are many other ways to self-injure than cutting, and it affects adults as well as teenagers. I never inflicted pain on myself until my 20s, and, at 33, I still self-injure, but not by cutting - by inflicting pain on my body in other ways, like hitting my limbs until they bruise, or scratching myself. I would consider myself a "normal" woman, with no history of mental illness and no past trauma or abuse. No one would know that I suffer with this often uncontrollable urge to inflict pain on myself. I wish more studies would be done on self-injury (beyond cutting). I'm sure many more people suffer with this than are willing to admit it. And I bet we'd all be surprised to learn who makes up this demographic.

Its really sad that things like this go on in America. I just wish there were more parents that focused on their kids other than their issues. Mor ppl that though about the kids other than themsleves. Children need so much guidance and we live in such a cruel and nonunderstanding world.

to "thesaneone"

You have struggled yourself....it is OK to feel what your feeling...now take that emotion to the next level. It will be hard for you. Do research on hitler...he had your same philosophy.on mutant gene pools. I too had no patience for people who always sat around wanting to hurt themselves, until one day I looked out into society and didn't like what was reflected back at me....I now try to be kind and understanding of those who cannot take life on this earth. I now say, "it is a strong person who can live way beyond the age of 18, to never feel overwhelmed and helpless that you might take your life".....I hope someday maybe you and I will meet....I will treat you to lunch, and you can stay in my guest room.....then I will introduce you to my son, he is a cutter. He is bright, fun, so good looking, and mostly my son. I love him with all my heart....his pain takes me on a path that I never understood before now. His sorrow is compared to that of Romeo and Juliet....to want love and to give love is all he wants.

Yo, "thesaneone".

Get off your high horse.

To "thesaneone".

If you think *these* people are contaminating the gene pool, may I not-so-politely recommend you take a long hard look in a mirror, and then as others have suggested, take a long hard look at your siblings, cousins, and everyone else in your familial lineage for minimally the past 4 generations.

Take off your rose colored glasses while you're at it.

I have *never* before, in any online forum, anywhere directed this last comment to a specific individual ... but ... you're moronic

To thesaneone; your comment about being starved for attention is not accurate. Most self injurers do not do this for attention. In fact the acts they comment are under such secrecy, no one finds out this problem for years. For a self injurer, this is almost like their hobby. Most tend to be highly ritialized, selecting their tools, places, music and patterns just like someone assembling a model or the like.

As far as the term freaks, I have to take offense. The gene pool is contaminated with enough hateful and prejudiced people that individuals such as yourself should not be allowed to procreate.

Posted By: thesaneone @ 12/30/2008 9:14:02 AMThese people should not be allowed to reproduce. The gene pool these freaks are swimming in is already contaminated. i havent had such a rosey life either, but i am not so starved for attention that i will mutilate myself. Try getting a hobby for goodness sake.
Ignorance is alive and well. You have no idea what you are talking about and I am sure that you come from a 100% healthy family? If you answered yes to this question, you come from a family full of secrets. I am willing to bet that you have a self-mutilator in your own family and that no one wants to share this struggle because you are so judgemental. God bless your own children if they need an openminded person to listen to them and love them unconditionally. Cutting is an addiction and it is real. If you have nothing possitive to say, why say anything?
Mother of a Cutter.

I too was a cutter, though it didn't get serious until after I graduated college. I'd done it a few times before then, but it quickly turned into a daily thing. Like Becki, I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I did manage to end up in therapy relatively quickly, as well as on medications, which have stabled me out significantly, though in the past 2 months I stopped taking the medication.

Bill Smith-you're an idiot for saying its attention seeking. Explain why we all hide it if its so attention seeking? We don't shout to the world we've just cut. We bandage it up, wear long sleeves--make sure it is covered. Doesn't sound attention seeking to me.

It has been hell. I've been in the ER for a cut that was too deep, which the doctor refused to stitch because I'd just do it again anyway. The stigma surrounding SI is horrible.

That said, I'm closing in on 1 year free, and I hope that I can keep it going. It is a struggle, one I wish I never had. I wish I could go back and keep myself from starting to do this ***.

get some help for god's sake...what a bunch of freaks

I was a cutter from the ages of 14 to about 24. At the time, I thought I was just crazy; I had no idea that anyone else did this. I couldn't control my life, but I could control the pain, and it felt good. With the help of therapy and medication, I have been free of cutting for 11 years, and I was able to finish my Ph.D. If you are currently a cutter, please get help! I wish I had done so sooner! Not only could I have led a more productive and happy life, but I wouldn't be covered in scars that are hard to explain.

I'd like to provide a short description of what being a masochist is for me.

I do it for the same physical thrill, endorphin high, and sense of accomplishment that people get from riding rollercoasters, skydiving, running marathons, playing rugby, and climbing mountains. I can choose to take no damage at all, or as much damage as a professional boxer takes. It is also powerfully erotic for me, and emotionally cathartic.

How much pain is involved in training and running a marathon?

There is no reason why mentally healthy people can't enjoy BDSM as a full-contact sport. On the same token, you wouldn't want a mentally ill person with you on a mountain climbing expedition.

All mental illnesses are defined as behaviors that are so extreme that they cause distress, disfunction, or harm to the self or others. EVERYONE fits the DSM criteria for some mental illness - except that the symptoms are at a harmless level in normal people. People who are distressed by their self-harm, and anyone causing permanent damage, should certainly seek professional help, or be brought to it.

Yes, the BDSM Community attracts damaged as well as healthy people, and that is a serious problem. Damaged people who find the "mainstream" BDSM Community are supported, educated, calmed down, and hopefully introduced to a psychiatrist. That is a good thing. The Community is pretty good at figuring out who is damaged, who is a predator, and who is just having a wonderful time, because experienced players have seen it all.

I am a masochist, and I am a happy and sucessful person. My fiance is a sadist, and he is one of the sweetest men I have ever met. We have a lot of fun - and no scars. Playing with pain is an intense experience that requires enormous trust and intimacy. Safe, sane, and consensual are the words we play by.

I was amused that the article acted like the author had just discovered these exotic, awful new behaviors - that are high art in a large and thriving Community! It's like Columbus claiming to have discovered America when millions of people already lived here. It is obvious to me that damaged self-harmers are learning techniques enjoyed by healthy people (and, admittedly, damaged people) in the Community, and that is why the authors are seeing more piercings among mentally ill people.

I had a relationship with a woman who cut herself. She liked having surgery and all that. But at the same time she hated it. I think it's very much an emotional thing that happens to occur with some people when they are in their teens and full of adolescent angst. This gal was committed for 4 years as a teenager, which she says is where she learned how to really do it "right" from other patients. Said she was raped by other patients inside, and that it felt like the cutting at first, she hated it but the pleasure made her feel high. She would lie about it, and do things like sit on a sewing pin so it wasn't too obvious. All rather horrible. Her extreme spells of intense rage and a kind of intense cunning that desired to hurt me emotionally - In the end it was too much for me to deal with, and we ended it. Pretty though.

Have to tell you, I would never point someone like that at the BDSM community. I've met more than a few living in the SF area, and it's a group of people that exploit their emotional disturbance. They think it's fun and all cool and all that, but it's just an extension of the addiction to groupthink. And as a guy I used to share an office said to me one day, "Never trust a sadist who isn't catholic."

Flatly, it does not help people into cutting to hang out with other people into cutting, or who get their kicks out of sadistic harm to others. Sadism isn't just physical, it's the whole thing, and a deeply narcissistic personality disorder.

This isn't about the joy of pain though; this is about those of us who somehow feel we need it. Some of us -- myself included -- even hate that we do it, but haven't been able to find the same peace or emotional pain control with any other method. I haven't cut for 8yrs, but it is a daily battle -- much like alcoholism. I will never consider myself healed, always only recovering.

I forgot to mention, there types of BDSM play called "play piercing", "needle play", "knife play", fire play", etc. Very thrilling when done safely! Also, body modification by embedding -sterile, biocompatible- objects under the skin is becoming very popular among the Tattoed crowd. These techniques are very easy to find on the Internet and in bookstores - for example, BME Magazine. People interested in self-harm can learn these techniques very easily. Perhaps the study's authors, and the article's author, should spend a few hours at a BDSM community coffee chat and learn more about their topic. *grin* We in the community have been studying it intensely for years.

Obviously, some self-injurers are quite ill. However, there is an entirely different side of this issue that I am shocked went unaddressed. Many people simply enjoy the feeling, and the endorphin high, of pain. The BDSM community is full of people who enjoy giving and receiving pain in a safe, sane, and consensual way. There are many ways to experience pain without damaging the body or the mind. The movie "Secretary" with James Spader deals with this topic wonderfully. Many of these self-injurers simply need to find their local BDSM communities for support, fulfillment, and a safe environment.

terrible