JUSTICE

Men Will Be Men

When guys lose jobs, the TV, den and gym win. Women? Sex? Not so much.

By Tony Dokoupil | NEWSWEEK
Published Feb 21, 2009
From the magazine issue dated Mar 2, 2009

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  • Posted By: albyonfloats @ 03/18/2009 4:31:14 PM

    Nice generalizations everyone. It's nice to see us set aside our differences in favor of name-calling and gender discrimination. That'll fix everything. Here's a thought. The author is just selling sensationalized ideas to stir up controversy. Perhaps to serve his own agenda? Believe the guy or don't believe the guy, but if you have a legitimate point, it only looks weak when you have to resort to name calling in the process of making it. Make your point and save the name-calling for the playgrounds. At least if you did it there, no one would be surprised.

  • Posted By: Orientdan @ 03/12/2009 8:12:58 AM

    This is just a nasty attack on the thousands of American men who have lost their jobs because of the greed and carelessness of the rich bosses.
    Unemployed men hit the bottle, beat up their wives and lay around doing nothing while their poor wives slave away looking after the children and doing the housework. What a bunch of nasty misandrist bile!
    You would think during this time of financial crises some people would have more sympathy. I cannot believe you as a man would write such a thing. Actually I can as you sound like one of those wet men who have been brainwashed by the man hating feminist lobby into believing you and all other men are the scum of the earth and the cause of all the world's problems.

  • Posted By: LanceSmith @ 03/11/2009 9:00:29 PM

    Actually, as discussed at GlennSacks.com, you piece is full of lies and half-truths. The question I have for the author: why do you hate yourself and your gender so much that you must make up lies to make yourself feel better? Or is this simply a way for you to sell you column?

    In terms of your so-called statistics from the BLS, you have to do is go to pages 19 and 20 of the survey and look at the numbers. They show quite clearly that unemployed men devote more time to Household Activities, Purchasing Goods and Services and Caring For a Household Member than do their employed counterparts. Also according to the BLS, unemployed women spend about 90 minutes per day more on those activities than do employed women. That's a little less than a 50% increase. Unemployed men increase their household chore time about 39%. Considering these men are newly unemployed and most likely depressed, that's pretty good!

    You should also note that It turns out that women too spend more time "snacking, sleeping and channel surfing" when they're out of work than when they're working. About 16% more actually. Another key note from glennsacks:

    And there's a growing body of social science that says that mothers - again strongly encouraged by popular culture - tend to see the household as their proper sphere of influence. To maintain that influence, they act as gatekeepers of male involvement. The predictable result is that many men simply opt out, and many women prefer it that way.

  • Posted By: classee1 @ 02/22/2009 12:35:20 AM

    We are living in a different time now. Men today have learned that even if he's not the one working, he's still a man. It is hard to deal with the change, but I don't see men today as being that insecure. Another thing is that a great majority of the women will not tolerate that kind of behavior in their relationships. Things are different these days mainly because women can support themselves and take care of her children. Today;s attitued is 'if he's going to behave that way, he can do it somewhere else. If he can't help her she'll do it alone.' I think that makes a big difference in today's unemploment situation. The woman doesn't depend on men to take care of the bills and a couple is in a parnership, not a contest. That's the way you have to look at it. Attitude is the key. .

    • Posted By: Ian Blokesworth @ 02/22/2009 3:03:23 AM

      "We are living in a different time now. Men today have learned that even if he's not the one working, he's still a man. " Completely wrong. Just check the dating scene. We are living in a time when male culture and personatliy are suppressed by legal restrictions to alter the workplace for women. Of course, there is a long line of women for 9-5 office jobs while none are waiting for menial labor that is slightly dangerous, dirty or inconvenient.

      • Posted By: delicia1973 @ 02/24/2009 10:02:09 AM

        I work construction, am a woman, and have no work. I would gladly do anything dangerous or labor intensive over a desk job. My only problem with it is the ever present, over the top, ego driven sexual harassment. Maybe this recession will make our boys grow up into men and start acting like they respect a woman in any capacity. I never hear the boys commenting on how great their bums look to each other. Maybe that is why women don't want to do these kinds of jobs, henceforth we will take your desk jobs and you can stay home and have some role reversal. It is very hard staying at home and taking care of children. It is demasculating, pays no money, and emotionally drains your emotional bank account. It is the hardest job there is, no wonder men are afraid, there is no ego in stay at home daddy!!

        • Posted By: whoisJohnGalt @ 02/26/2009 2:19:33 PM

          While it's not clear exactly who or what you were responding to, it is interesting to hear a bulldyke's perspective, however little it may contribute to the topic.

          • Posted By: Jboy @ 03/11/2009 11:04:07 AM

            BS meter just went off.

            Staying at home to look after kids is the best job one could have. I was out of work for a bit and that is what i did. I did all my work around the house, had supper ready and had plenty of time to play with my daughter.

            Anyone who says it's not a plivlidge to be a stay at home parent is a damn liar or hasn't done it or simply can not handle being a parent.

      • Posted By: firemedic258 @ 02/22/2009 8:35:33 AM

        You are a moron. I am a female and a firefighter/paramedic). Translation, darling, I am more of a man than you have ever been. The job can be menial at times (shoveling dirt on oil), I have been puked on, and it is dangerous. Sorry if it bothers you that I probably have a higher level of testosterone. Oh, but I don't look like a guy. If you saw me out, you would never know it. If this screws with your sense of the world, get over it and go back to your cave. Myboyfriend is perfectly okay with it. He's a firefighter as well (translation, also a better man than you.)

        • Posted By: whoisJohnGalt @ 02/26/2009 1:09:28 PM

          So, is your "boyfriend" transgendered? Are you actually a male assuming the femme role, or a female taking the butch role in a lesbian duo?

          • Posted By: not-fooled-by-slick-talking-charlatans @ 02/26/2009 2:47:45 PM

            I don't know who led you to believe that heterosexual women are incapable, or unwilling, to do laborous jobs, but THEY LIED! Your delusions of accurate depictions of sexual identity are so ridiculous, people in the next room could hear me laughing out loud.

            • Posted By: whoisJohnGalt @ 02/26/2009 2:57:26 PM

              And YOUR delusions seem to make sense to you. When you finish "LOLing", maybe you should let the people in the next room hear you doing some work for a change.

              • Posted By: not-fooled-by-slick-talking-charlatans @ 02/26/2009 3:34:44 PM

                I'm finishing up my lunch break. But thanks for the concern for my work ethic.

        • Posted By: Strongmale @ 02/24/2009 9:20:30 AM

          Totally agree with you! I'm a stay at home dad, left my job "career" a year ago. My Wife is a doctor and we could not be happier. Its a tough pill to swallow and this article should be a wake up call for all Men to take action after a layoff. Grow up and be the best parent, spouse you can be. I met my wife when I was laid off and it did not matter. *** these idiots who put you down. You rock and God bless you for what you do for our county!

          • Posted By: fniguy @ 02/24/2009 10:27:56 AM

            Your reply was way out of line. Your job doesnt make you what you are sweetie.... Your job is a firefighter but based on your coment I would guess you really are a female dog. Who cares what you look like! I thought you were gonna say you were a perfect ten model or something. C'mon grow a pair...... Breast that is and be a better person.

            • Posted By: katiepeterson77 @ 02/24/2009 11:32:10 AM

              I find it appalling that you can tell someone to be a better person and call her a female dog in the same post. You might be a man... but you are not a gentleman.

            • Posted By: katiepeterson77 @ 02/24/2009 11:28:07 AM

              I find it appalling that you can tell someone to be a better person and call them a female dog in the same post. You might be a man... but not a gentleman.

        • Posted By: Unicus @ 02/24/2009 8:46:06 AM

          Funny how the article pretty much says that Men suck, yet you are so proud when you compare yourself to the male species, hmmm! The fact of the matter is that men will always look after women, just like men are naturally protected of their families???it is in our DNA, whether some women want to accept this fact or not. Women on the other hand, will also look after themselves and other women, always saying that men don???t know anything about women. Ladies, spend more time trying to understand men (since is very obvious women in this country know very little about men) and stop thinking men don???t get women and that women know everything there is to know about men.
          We play Xbox, you watch stupid soap-operas; men love sports, you love ???romantic novels??? where a women cheater is perceived as the most romantic person on earth; men love sex and women love to hear their friends talk about sex (that???s more exiting to them than the actual coitus); men leave their dirty cloth in places women can???t stand and women leave toilet paper with some ???red spots??? exposed in the bathroom???s trash-can; men do any job and hardly ever complain and women want to be just like men (although they say we suck) and yet don???t want to take all the harshness that comes with all of the responsibilities men have. ( I bet most women in this forum will probably ask themselves :what responsibilities?? ( I bet most women in this forum will probably ask themselves :what responsibilities?? Which will prove my point: If you don???t know much about men, please???I repeat???PLEASE, find first a way to understand them and you???ll see how unlikely you would like to become one: Is not easy honey!

          • Posted By: Strongmale @ 02/24/2009 11:07:32 AM

            I am happy being a woman and don't feel the need to compare myself to a man. I am a strong, independent and professional woman. I am also a mother and a wife. I work outside of the home, my husband works at home (taking care of our son). You notice that I am very careful to say that my husband WORKS AT HOME. For a long time he would make jokes about how people must think he does nothing, but it's simply not true. It sounds as if you have some gender stereotypes pretty strongly rooted in your opinions of men and women. I am a physician working with underserved children in a large metropolitan city. Every day I deal with the harshness of reality through my patients. I come home from work and pay bills, balance the checkbook and try hard to stay on budget. Because of the career I've chosen and the fact that my husband and I choose to raise our son without daycare, we both face the harsh reality of skyrocketing food prices and plummeting interest rates and house values. I will admit that I don't know about all men - in fact I think that it's presumptious to generalize based on the stereotypes that both you and the author of this article hold so strongly, but I will say that I know my husband. He WORKS AT HOME which means he provides the best care possible for our son, does laundry, cleans the house and exercises in his spare time. I understand him to that extent and also understand that like any human being he wants to be recognized for the hard work he does. He is a MAN which is to say that he does what he can do to take care of his family and I think that it would do you some good to recognize that doesn't always mean "dealing the with harsh realities" of the work place. Try listening to a 15 month old cry because he doesn't want to nap for 20 minutes! That's a pretty harsh reality. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that my gender and my husband's gender is not defined by what we do. We are people, parents, spouses and while our outlook on life may be different because of the gender with which we were raised, we are both capable of doing anything we set our mind to.

        • Posted By: Unicus @ 02/24/2009 8:47:48 AM

          Funny how the article pretty much says that Men suck, yet you are so proud when you compare yourself to the male species, hmmm! The fact of the matter is that men will always look after women, just like men are naturally protected of their families???it is in our DNA, whether some women want to accept this fact or not. Women on the other hand, will also look after themselves and other women, always saying that men don???t know anything about women. Ladies, spend more time trying to understand men (since is very obvious women in this country know very little about men) and stop thinking men don???t get women and that women know everything there is to know about men.
          We play Xbox, you watch stupid soap-operas; men love sports, you love ???romantic novels??? where a women cheater is perceived as the most romantic person on earth; men love sex and women love to hear their friends talk about sex (that???s more exiting to them than the actual coitus); men leave their dirty cloth in places women can???t stand and women leave toilet paper with some ???red spots??? exposed in the bathroom???s trash-can; men do any job and hardly ever complain and women want to be just like men (although they say we suck) and yet don???t want to take all the harshness that comes with all of the responsibilities men have. ( I bet most women in this forum will probably ask themselves :what responsibilities?? Which will prove my point: If you don???t know much about men, please???I repeat???PLEASE, find first a way to understand them and you???ll see how unlikely you would like to become one: Is not easy honey!

          • Posted By: songbirdfemme @ 02/24/2009 11:03:01 AM

            Im a woman, and I way prefer sex to talking about it, and i dont read romance novels. of course my b-friend doesnt play xbox either. the problem with articles like this is that people want to make blanket statements that describe everyone and there is no such description to neatly tackle the immense nuances that exist between men and woman. I agree that there are differences, and that both men and woman are smart to recognize that fact. I also think people need to learn how to live with less money, and deal with it. by the way, some men like to clean but they dont have the same anal retentive attitude about it as woman. however, they are willing to learn, and woman should be willing to give and take.

        • Posted By: Ian Blokesworth @ 02/22/2009 3:08:08 PM

          Are you trying to say that there are more women doing dangerous, dirty, inconvenient jobs than men in 2009? Take a look at the firefighting crew (even the annual Firehouse picture) , introduce yourself to your early morning garbage crew, and count the % of women in the roadside construction crews. If there are more women than men in those positions, you would be correct in calling me moronic.

          • Posted By: dogcrazyjen @ 02/24/2009 6:13:01 AM

            Men account for literally 93% of all workplace deaths. That alone says volumes about what sorty of jobs women are not taking.Ian is correct on this one, the facts are on his side.

            You are not more of a man for being a fire fighter/EMT. Your job has nothing to do with masculinity....oh wait, now it does? Do you see the irony in what you just said? The article lambastes men for identifying too much with their jobs and suffering depression when losing said job, and here you are emotionally blackmailing men with job identity egoism. Hmmmm.

        • Posted By: F_off if your a male basher @ 02/24/2009 4:38:21 AM

          LOL, great that says it all...how ironic...woman who want to be men who are male bashers...That is a really funny line...I am more man than he will ever be...nice! I bet you get some interesting dates....must be another bull dike
          PS if I am on the side of the road dieing just keep going I don't this *** mouth on mine for any reason.

        • Posted By: lionssmile @ 02/22/2009 10:30:15 AM

          Funny how you say they "are way off base" then proceed to prove their point with the whole being threatened by a powerful woman like Pelosi. And what exactly do men have to be liberated from?

          • Posted By: F_off if your a male basher @ 02/24/2009 4:35:07 AM

            Woman get what they deserve, a country in ruin and homes with kids into drugs because woman have divorced men and taken all that men have worked for. Men are not threatend by some dumb bitch...
            We are amused by how woman think they are so much more in control then men...men just sit back and laugh

      • Posted By: delicia1973 @ 02/24/2009 9:55:10 AM

        Hey I work construction, and my boss has no work for me. I hate office work so don't lump all women in to that group. Some of us like manual labor, but I will tell you one thing, sexual harassment has gotten no better. It is funny how we can adapt to men's work, but men seem to have more trouble adapting to women's work. Time for both sexes to dump the egos and get on with life. Do your part in your marriage and forget the stereotypes, in the end we will all be well rounded PEOPLE!!

      • Posted By: chinajcc @ 02/22/2009 3:13:25 AM

        so the women are pushing the dangerous and dirty jobs to men, while trying to keep the office job for themselves

    • Posted By: pug_ster @ 02/22/2009 4:21:30 PM

      I think you are an idealist. You really don't know how men thinks or copes with a job loss. Less than 3 years ago I was doing well in a job until the company made some excuse to get rid of me. I was emotionally depressed and I wasted my time playing online games. My wife didn't seem to care, always spends days out and never have time for me. While I was working and she has emotional problems, I was always there for her, but not the other way around. Eventually I was able to get a job 3 months later. I hated the job but I was happy that I was working because I don't have to deal with my wife complaining.

      • Posted By: peanut2 @ 02/24/2009 6:20:56 AM

        OMG, maybe instead of airing your dirty laundry with your wife on the internet, you could talk to her or go to counseling with her. Novel idea!!!!

        I would complain too if I were your wife...totally immature to be badmouthing her online!

  • Posted By: mandamandamanda @ 02/26/2009 7:40:49 PM

    hahaha, you guys are hilarious. I've never seen such immature, clueless, sexist garbage in my life. I will sit at home making a mess and doing nothing because my father bought my mother a house, and therefore my wife owes me- is that what you guys are saying? That's what I'm hearing and it's sure as hell what I see in my house. My husband quit the one and only job where he out-earned me less than 2 months after we married. He has since been paid less and worked less hours than me- always. And I have done any and all housework, chores, errand running, shopping. Now that he is once again working well below full time he has not taken up any of these responsibilities, he makes more of a mess, spends more money, and generally annoys the hell out of me. He has, I suppose fortunately for him gotten in shape (well, of course he has, he's got all the time in the world), but I find him completely unattractive because he's a lazy selfish slob.

    And naturally, he defends his behavior with all the same series of ridiculous generalizations the fellas on this board are using... seems to me he never supported me, never bought me anything, never looked after me, we've not been able to have kids because we've never been financially secure. Throws every one of those arguments out the window. And from my perspective (experience) I'd say most of you are as full of it as he is.

    • Posted By: Jboy @ 03/11/2009 10:50:40 AM

      Not that I'm saying your lieing about your man, but there is an incredibly high possibility that your perspective is a little off center. Many seemt o think they do all the house work and all the work that matters around the house while ignoring the contributions of the other. My wife did it until we decided to put it to rest and write down what a little chart and note it all. For all her complaining, it turns out I out performed her 3 to 1 when it came to work around the house and picking up after her. This may not be the case with you, but I am inclined to think you have been brain washed by a millions media outlets telling you, your man is lazy and the work you do is all important and means more.

    • Posted By: legalmechman @ 02/26/2009 11:27:03 PM

      ...So divorce the pig and get a lesbian lover. The men (and it sounds as if your husband does not rank among us) who try are tired of girls (yes, that's right, girls. Women don't whine and generalize) who bash ALL men for the sins of one pig. If you don't like men, men don't like you. You'll continually end up with boys. Grow up or get out.

    • Posted By: legalmechman @ 02/26/2009 11:21:58 PM

      so divorce the pig and get a lesbian lover. Those of us MEN out here who do try are tired of girls (yes you are NOT a woman, nor an equal since all you can do is whine) who continually BASH ALL men do to one ignorant moron in their life. If all men are worthless to you, than you are worthless to all men (except the pigs like your husband).

    • Posted By: legalmechman @ 02/26/2009 11:21:40 PM

      so divorce the pig and get a lesbian lover. Those of us MEN out here who do try are tired of girls (yes you are NOT a woman, nor an equal since all you can do is whine) who continually BASH ALL men do to one ignorant moron in their life. If all men are worthless to you, than you are worthless to all men (except the pigs like your husband).

  • Posted By: Nosmanic @ 03/11/2009 12:39:28 AM

    I will never understand why woman can have emotions but if a man gets depressed he's pathetic.

  • Posted By: spittenkitty @ 03/04/2009 10:12:11 AM

    Have you gentlemen lost your flipping minds? Seriously. What century are we in that you're actually posting to Newsweek ridiculous pap like, "I don't remember when women decided that they needed careers a clause stating that men had to pick up all the slack at home,women wanted to take over,well now lthey can live with it." Women aren't taking over. Women are just doing the same things you've been doing since the start of the human race, and asking the same in return.

    How men allow themselves to feel emasculated so easily is beyond me. These are all such outdated gender roles and you should be embarrassed to sound so petty.

    Shame on Newsweek and this ridiculous article. If this is what the magazine is coming to, I will happily cancel my subscription. Besides the sexist tone of the article, there is no retraction regarding DABA being a satire site. Shame on you.

    • Posted By: blsquire @ 03/08/2009 4:12:42 PM

      My husband lost most of his jobs to power hungry females. Most recently yesterday!!! I worked for 10 yrs, stayed home to raise to wonderful children and went back to work after. The women taking 50plus male jobs are young and don't give a damn about their home life. They just want power and will do anything they can to achieve it. I KNOW!!
      We've seen it TOO many times now.

  • Posted By: spikesfx @ 03/03/2009 2:50:48 PM

    Hey people, the solution is simple. Women and men should do there best to not let a stoneage socialization system define them. None of this "boys will be boys" crap. Boo-hoo, I got laid off so now I have to do "women's work". Aren't we over this? Let's evolve here people. Women are equally at fault. Stop judging guys by the size of their wallet. Be warriors against outdated traditions. Find self-worth in being good humans or partners. I know that sounds hippy-ish, but what's the alternative? Keep bashing and blaming eachother? I'm okay with that too, I love to bash men, but it sure would be nicer to work together. It would make a smoother transition into the future. It's up to you guys and gals. I'm outta here in a few decades.

  • Posted By: boxer359 @ 03/01/2009 1:12:46 PM

    It's funny,I don't remember when women decided that they needed careers a clause stating that men had to pick up all the slack at home,women wanted to take over,well now lthey can live with it..
    Women just cannot see that it is not the same thing for them to lose a job as a man.They have other outlets like other women to commiserate with ,they can have children ,they can be out of work for years without snide remarks from the local populace.Do other women commiserate with men who lose their jobs or do they view them with suspicion ?Do they include them in their little groups or do they ignore them,I think most people know the answer.An unemployed male is shunned by society and is very lonely and it becomes eaay to be depressed.No male likes a loser so friends become very scarce ..If wives can't help at least they should be neutral and stop portraying their husbands in the worst light possible,it's sickening to see women who were probably once genial turn into the modern day harridans that they have ,egged along by wishy washy journalists like this one .
    To be sure a man should do what he can round the house but do not lose sight of te goal,ie; getting back to work.
    The longer you are a househusband the less likely you are to find employment,houseusband does not sound too good on a cv.
    The UK ,where I come from is just as bad,it is male jobs that have to go,males that don't get healthcare or research,
    parity before the law or positive discrimination.A lot of those unemployed have joined a party called The British national party which puts the welfare of the indigenuous people first and will roll back the misdeeds of these liberal cretins.
    It is gathering pace ,and although it will not win the next election will certainly shake up the incumbent one.It has nearly 15 million supporters europe wide , is fast becoming a major force.Maybe,if you are unemloyed and becoming depressive you should throw yourselves into politics.

  • Posted By: deshepherd @ 02/28/2009 10:12:15 AM

    Another typical male bashing article from Newsweek. What a surprise! People, men and women, are losing jobs by the thousands and dealing with all kinds of stress and depression because of it and you people respond by throwing dirt in their face. Way to go guys! No wonder your readership continues to decline.

    Krigsman is right, men should just leave these ungrateful gender bigots to their own devices, and according to the US Census Bureau own estimates, it appears that the majority of young men agree. I believe that the next 10 years are going to be a real wake up call for these sexist bigots.

  • Posted By: Krigsman Inc @ 02/27/2009 7:27:39 PM


    Men! Do not marry. Do not co-habit. Do not procreate.
    Do not give this sick PC culture of anti-male hate what it needs to survive...You! Step back, drop out and leave these bigots to themselves.

    Let them grow old and alone, with fading memories of their beloved divorce courts, family courts and "Domestic Violence" Industry for their only company.

    Stay single, Live free and happy.

    The Krigsman

  • Posted By: davidc2 @ 02/27/2009 6:29:19 PM

    my wife refuses to work. there is nothing I can do to MAKE her get a job. what is a man to do when she won't pull her own financial weight and continually complains that we don't have enough money???!!!! It is driving me insane.

  • Posted By: toya @ 02/27/2009 3:33:05 PM

    well i will agree that some males after losing their jobs do suffer from incompetence but there are alot of males who on the other hand make themself become usefull around the house in order of not to be seeing as a BURDEN DOWN LAZY JUNCK because that would utterly destroy their male EGO

  • Posted By: toya @ 02/27/2009 3:16:35 PM

    well its vise versa some males do gets lazy while others try hard to provide or their family & do not become a BURDEN DOWN LAZY JUNCK around the house.

  • Posted By: PaulR @ 02/27/2009 9:45:18 AM

    This article misses a few cliches and stereotypes about men, but not many. Perhaps if Tony had observed that blacks are lazy and Jews are usurious and Mexicans are dirty his panoply of cliches would have been complete. Or he could try having an original thought instead of parroting received ideas. I'm sure that's verboten at Newsweek.

  • Posted By: PaulR @ 02/27/2009 9:42:08 AM

    There are a few stereotypes about men and women that this article missed, but not many. It includes little factual data but does include a site that parodies female bankers. Perhaps the author could have also noted that blacks are lazy and Jews are usurious and Mexicans are dirty and its panoply of cliches would have been complete.

  • Posted By: liddlkitti @ 02/27/2009 2:01:42 AM

    Hey, guys....I just wanted to throw in my two cents. NOT all men who are laid off quit everything but TV. My father is a journeyman carpenter, and has been for 38 years. He, unfortunately, was laid off from work. He's been off for about 12 weeks. He is a WONDERFUL help around the house! He even does my brother's laundry! He does the sweeping, dusting, etc. He also does "manly" stuff around the house, like fixing a cabinet, or changing the oil & filters on one of our 4 cars. HE ALSO DOES DISHES. Please don't let some bad experiences from a few losers define everyone.

  • Posted By: misskittyami @ 02/27/2009 1:27:11 AM

    Please read ALL THE WAY THRU bfore making a judgment on me. Thank you. We're just tired of men out there who WON'T (not can't) get out there and take care of themselves by at least trying. But I must say that, yes fellow ladies out there, this matter swings both ways, too. I know some guys who are tired of women who WON'T (not can't) get out there and try. It works both ways. I must say tho that it isn't women's fault for wanting to be in the work place. Just like it isn't men's fault for just being in the in it. I highly doubt that we ever intended to take the man's place in the workplace. Just like you guys never intended to take the women's place at home. I'm saying saying ALL OF THIS SWINGS BOTH WAYS! I'm not trying to out men and I'm not trying to out women. IT SWINGS BOTH WAYS HERE!

  • Posted By: laughsalot @ 02/26/2009 11:12:44 PM

    YES... all this stuff really does happen. And more. It's like men lost their place and their sense of belonging when women started working. They are still wired the same way and today they are basically lost. No, I dont like it either .Yes, I do all the work at home. I lost my job a year ago, and he lost his about a month ago. I still run the kids everywhere.
    I started asking him: do you want to get the kids up in the morning and take them to school or pick them up? ahhh... I guess I'll pick them up! Great! :)
    Ladies and Men, at the risk of pissing you off even more I'm going to tell you the ONLY thing I've found that is beginning to work. PRAYER. LOTS AND LOTS OF PRAYER. WISDOM in WHAT and HOW to say stuff.
    Yes, blowing up here and there has been known to help call some attention. But if its all the time, they just turn you off!
    So, keep praying and let GOD speak to your man! You nagging him is not working.
    This will take its time, stay the course, it does work. He will start to realize stuff, by the way the kids treat him. NO do not tell your kids to be a pain to him, and do not talk bad about him to your kids!
    Slowly he has apologized for the way he has or hasnt been. He reaffirms me on our love and how he wants to change.
    GO TO CHURCH EVERY WEEKEND, TOGETHER THE ENTIRE FAMILY!
    PRAY TOGETHER, THE COUPLE, THE FAMILY
    DONT GIVE UP!
    no you dont have to agree with my comment you are free to keep complaining and get no where, other wise I wish you the best, KEEP THE FAITH!

  • Posted By: jbz7879 @ 02/26/2009 6:38:37 PM

    its rather sad so many able bodied educated men have been laid off and are feeling useless -which is a very crucial issue -for most men like me your work is your life as it is your sole reason to exist and everything comes after that -a man not productive is like a parasite in his own perspective and thus redundant psychologically which is damaging to the already sick milieu of the recession
    a real pity -seems like psychiatrists will have lots of people to see

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