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When a Young Mother Dies

Why the untimely losses of Natasha Richardson and Jade Goody struck such a chord.

By Susanna Schrobsdorff | Newsweek Web Exclusive
Mar 24, 2009

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  • Posted By: sunbirdwind14 @ 06/28/2009 1:45:33 AM

    I am concernd - My son lost his wife in a tragic accident, Elayna- our grandbaby was only 6 months old. I wonder about her growing up with out a mom. though my son is 28 maybe someday he will find a good person to be with, but I don't know how the loss of her mother will effect her. We as grandparens spend alot of time with her and help my son all we can. He is such a great father. He puts her first. But I don't know how growing up without her mother is going to effect her? She is such a happy child, Do I need to worrie? what should we do.?

  • Posted By: thematrix @ 03/24/2009 10:58:17 PM

    I can relate so much to this story. I have cancer throughout my liver, and I have been fighting to stay well for over four years so that my 6 year old triplets won't have to grow up without their mother. When I was diagnosed, the kids were just 2 years old, and the only thing I could think about was what their life would be like without me. It was the most frightening feeling. My father died in a car accident when I was 14, so I know what the death of a parent does to a child. I also know there is no one on the planet who will love my children or care for them the way I do. So, I keep fighting the cancer, and praying for healing, and caring for them, and I don't take a single day for granted. Every day I have with them is cherished.

    • Posted By: bossybootsme @ 03/29/2009 2:19:21 PM

      I really wish you the very best. You sound like a very strong person and am sure that you are an inspiration to your family friends and loved so much by your precious triplets.

    • Posted By: northeasterner @ 03/25/2009 1:07:25 AM

      I hope your positive thinking keeps you going for a long time.

      • Posted By: thematrix @ 03/25/2009 6:30:33 PM

        Thank you for your kindness and compassion. God bless you.

  • Posted By: zcohen @ 03/26/2009 2:57:56 AM

    I'm really offended by the assumption that the lives of people without kids are somehow meaningless and their deaths will go unremarked. Just having kids doesn't make your life valuable. There are horrible parents. There are parents who are horrible people. Many people have kids because they cannot imagine how to make their life meaningfuul and marriage and kids is a conventionally acceptable route to make meaning. Look at Octomom. The deaths of people without kids should strike a chord just as much as the deaths of people with kids; look at the person's character and identity rather than their marital status and parental status.

    • Posted By: tmlmt @ 03/26/2009 9:02:18 AM

      Although you have a valid point the article is not about the value of a person. The article is about how parents forget to take care of themselves because children and their well being demand so much of their time and energy. Childless adults are just as important to society but a childless adult only has to worry about their health and their emotional well being. Even if you are in a relationship you expect an adult to deal with their well being, like an adult. Or if you are taking a care of a parent you make the necessary provisions for a life already lived. Children do not have that concept. They have no idea how to take care of themselves. The are not hard wired to make sure that they eat well, brush their teeth every morning, wear clean clothes, pay their bills, do well in school without any help, save for college, go to the doctor, take medication when they need to, the list is endless. To compare the life of a childless adult to the life of a parent is like comparing apples and automobiles. To completely different things.

  • Posted By: ShedMS @ 03/25/2009 2:26:54 AM

    Jesus H. The biological process of having children does not make you a wonderful human being. Jade Goody was a worthless human being; the fact that she is dead does not give her a free pass to sainthood. Her children will be better off for not having been exposed to her bigotry and ignorance.

    • Posted By: cherielynne @ 03/25/2009 2:44:11 AM

      that is the most inhuman thing i have ever heard comeing out of a humans mouth,, she was one of gods children just like you are,, weather you feel that she was wrong or right, thats only for god to juge her,,may god have mercy on your soul for being so inhuman,, and disrepectful, and thats how i feel about your comment, i would say something else to you right now but it probly wouldnt be able to go on this site, so ill leave that for food for thought on your part,, cheri from usa,,

      • Posted By: ShedMS @ 03/25/2009 3:01:27 AM

        I'm an atheist; I reject the crux of your argument. I don't care what your opinion of me is - have at it. I'm just not interested in the uproar over a person who had no better qualities than to cause people to turn on their tv sets. For being a Christian... you sure are judgmental, aren't you?

        • Posted By: RedHotz @ 03/25/2009 8:14:28 AM

          Shed, I am an atheist just like you and find your comments disgusting. I don't care how terrible you thought Jade's views may have been or how much you disliked her she was still a human being. She was still someone's daughter, someone's friend, someone's mother. Have some decency and class. You are the reason why so many people look down upon us atheists as being unfeeling monsters.

          • Posted By: ShedMS @ 03/25/2009 2:29:20 PM

            You miss the point. I didn't make the comments because I am an atheist, I simply pointed out that cherielynn's fire and brimstone judgment of me made no difference to me. You're being disingenuous. When Jade Goody was being blatantly racist and was nothing more than just another trashy reality tv star, would you have held her up as a wonderful human being and an example of what we should all strive to be? No. The point I am making is that who she was as a person did not change simply because she had the misfortune to have a terminal disease. I will not glorify her or her life or shed crocodile tears now that she's gone and some writer has pointed out that she had children. As many other posters have noted, this type of thing happens every day all around us and no one bats an eyelash. Don't pretend that Jade Goody led a worthwhile life just because you've had her death shoved in your face.

            • Posted By: LynnC @ 03/26/2009 5:00:00 AM

              And she took her terminal disease and helped the NHS create a campaign to raise awareness among women and girls ages 13 - 25, among whom she is hugely popular. The woman lay dying, and she, who you have vilified as worthless, did something good.

            • Posted By: summer4077 @ 03/25/2009 3:52:53 PM

              I agree with you. I'm semi-religious and I don't wish ill on anyone, but Goody was a truly awful person. I'm glad she saw the error in her ways and performed one truly unselfish act before her death--that of providing for her children. She was a very ugly human being though, very much full of hate. Of course when she was faced with the reality of death and the possible consequences of her actions, she did change. I guess that is the good thing.

  • Posted By: magic_marker @ 03/26/2009 4:57:21 AM

    zcohen: don't you think you're taking this a little too seriously? I do not believe the author was inferring anything of the kind, but rather that people with young children feel a particular empathy toward those who lose their (young) parents at a young age.

  • Posted By: zcohen @ 03/26/2009 2:52:47 AM

    I'm offended by the assumption that the woman's life is valuable only because she has kids. Her death is a tragedy whther she has kids or not. Even if no one else needed her to stay alive, she's enjoying her life for herself. The lives of people without kids are just as meaningful and important as the lives of people with kids; it's a prejudice to value them differently.

  • Posted By: Alexis Martin Neely @ 03/25/2009 3:33:06 PM

    You might want to check out my book: Wear Clean Underwear! A Fast, Fun, Friendly - and Essential - Guide to Legal Planning for Busy Parents. It makes all of this planning super easy. And, there's even a free website I created at http://www.kidsprotectionplan.com - so you can name legal guardians for your kids free. It's something all parents need to do, but unfortunately most parents never take those steps and those that due often make at least 1 of 6 common mistakes. The Kids Protection Plan website not only helps you name guardians for free, but ensures you don't make any of the 6 common mistakes. Thanks for bringing up this important issue.

  • Posted By: Eu-american @ 03/25/2009 2:45:44 AM

    Why are people making weekly millions so more important than those that WORK for a living to maintain a home, provide food and clothing? I, for one, am angry at the Hollywood hype. Do you know, hard working, maybe poverty families, lose lives everyday....and NOT , expensive ski slopes. I feel the pain of the family but, everyday, somewhere in America, a family is feeling the same pain...BUT...NO Televisions reports, stories, interviews, or awards. Most American families rely on their church and community. Hollywood does NOT know what America life is.....so, if some of you die, REAL american does not care...............as I do not. I feel sorry for the family...children/husband. May you find strength within your family............ angry for her death?...NO..... there are more spirited people fighting for the homeless.
    I hate Celebrity awards shows and celebrity deaths meaning we should Turn-In and feel sorrow.........well, I don't.....live and be happy with your money......then die and realize YOU had it all.
    Me, sorry for family...otherwise, I DO NOT CARE..

    • Posted By: westwingpotus @ 03/25/2009 3:25:20 PM

      I understand that you're sour, but the reality is that the ONLY person who is saying one life is worth more than another is you.

      In your rant, you are saying essensce that when someone becomes famous or financially sucessful they is no longer entitled to human kindness and consideration extended to those who are not.

      It's a tragedy when ANYONE dies before their time, poor or rich.

      Hopefully, you will never achieve any level of sucess, otherwise, according to your view of the world, you should lose all human consideration. Of course, given your small-heart, and bitter attitude, I suspect that will never be an issue for you.

  • Posted By: ali111 @ 03/25/2009 2:29:31 PM

    i feel bad 4 her kids! =(

  • Posted By: ali111 @ 03/25/2009 2:28:34 PM

    i don't kno her but i feel so srry 4 her family

  • Posted By: davidwayneosedach @ 03/25/2009 2:16:30 PM

    Both of them were too young to die. The fact that they were more like regular people than superstars makes it all the more tragic.

  • Posted By: psychobabble @ 03/25/2009 3:01:44 AM

    Aunt Gin, do you own stock in the MRI machine? Being that you cannot stop saying MRI, I just thought I would ask.

    • Posted By: AuntGin @ 03/25/2009 1:45:26 PM

      No, I am a disabled person with a plethora of medical bills. I have no ulterior motive except to help people avoid the misery I have been through. So I don't care if I say CT scan and MRI a thousand times, as long as it helps people.
      Why are you criticizing me, are you an insurance rep who doesn't like the truth told to thousands of people? CT, MRI, CT, MRI, CT, MRI !!!!!!!!! OK , nuff said. God Bless and may everyone reading this be protected against any harm.

  • Posted By: psychobabble @ 03/25/2009 3:21:44 AM

    Does anyone stop to think what this article says about your depth and intelligence? If we were having a chat and I told you my mom died of brain cancer and I said "well, I think losing a parent is hard and every parent should get a check-up" most of you would nod and smile, express the warmed over sympathy of a person not really listening, then move on.

    But a Celebrity dies!! Oh lordy!!! Now you see the importance of check-ups, now you have learned the lesson. The shallow condition of most people's minds are astounding. I have read some of these posts, and many of you have said, "Humm how thought provoking. The death of these two moving pictures on my TV have taught me the valuable lesson of preventative care." If you didn't figure that out before the moving picture told you so, then maybe prolonging your life is just prolonging what is surely inevitable, 'cause how long can someone that idiotic live, really.

    • Posted By: RavenCMT @ 03/25/2009 1:45:06 PM

    • Posted By: nimodahooligan @ 03/25/2009 11:10:16 AM

      thats reminiscent of the joker from batman begins....

      a soldier dies, a cop dies, people die from car accidents, sporting accidents, people die all the time from lack of preventative health care, and no one bats an eyelash because those people are supposed to die, its normal.... its "all a part of the plan".... and life moves on and no one really gives it a second thought unless you are directly affected by the death of a loved one.

      but when an actor/actress dies at a young age (and trust me, i feel for the family and the loss they have on they're hands, im not a cold monster, just making a point) "everyone loses they're minds!!!" because celebrities arent supposed to die, people in the public view arent supposed to die, they are supposed to entertain us at the will of the remote...

      the psychology behind it is actually quite interesting... and its not to be inhumane, but people die literally every second around the world... it happens, its the pinnacle peak of life, and it happens to everyone. for some reason we people dont put it into perspective every day that as soon as they hop into they're car, within minutes they could be stone cold on the side of a highway....or a meteor could come crashing into earth, or a burglar breaks into your home and murders you, or your house burns to the ground with your baby inside, or you even take a small fall off a ladder and land wrong on your back and sever your spinal cord.... anything can happen at any moment... for all we know we could be in the middle of a nuclear holocaust by lunch time...

      but people are suprised and interested when someone dies of cancer....

      and again, i feel for the losses, ive had many loses in my life, several young friends of mine, family, cousins... but in many ways, its comforting they have gone to a "better place", wherever that may be...

    • Posted By: AuntGin @ 03/25/2009 7:42:31 AM

  • Posted By: Greeneyescna @ 03/25/2009 2:37:55 AM

    ShedMS
    Who the heck cares what u think. Have u had some one close to you die. Who gives you the right to judge someone.. No one gave you that right. So get out of hate mode and respect or stay off here if u cant saying anything respectful..These woman are dead and not coming back its sad for everyone. Grow up....

    • Posted By: ShedMS @ 03/25/2009 3:03:55 AM

      Hah, the fact that I'm a human being gives me the right to judge. Don't play the holier than thou card and pretend that you've never passed judgment on anyone. We all judge people every day of our lives. I prefer to save my tears for people that have done something worthwhile with their lives... Jade Goody doesn't qualify.

      • Posted By: AuntGin @ 03/25/2009 7:49:03 AM

        The Holy Book says "Judge not least you be judged". When you judge then God, and now people will be judging you. That is how it works. God help us if we don't show compassion for other human beings regardless of their status, celebrity or homeless person-we all deserve compassion and help. God Bless

  • Posted By: AuntGin @ 03/25/2009 7:36:43 AM

    Some of these comments are so out of touch!? Some of the comments infer that we should dismiss the importance of the message just because these were celebrities. That is absurd. These are REAL PEOPLE just like you and I. The message is multiple, such as: Get a Will done for the sake of your children, If you are in any kind of accident where you have a neck and/or head injury go straight to a good Hospital Emergency Room and make sure they do CT scans and MRI tests (insist and/or demand these are done), for Women; Get regular check ups for breast and cervical cancer. We should be looking out for other people not just ourselves. What has this world come to when people criticize someone just because they were famous? Does that discount them as a human being with real hurts and tragedy? NO I am glad that Natasha's story is being told because people need to know how a simple fall or an auto accident can cause serious damage EVEN THOUGH YOU ONLY FEEL A LITTLE SORE OR A LITTLE PAIN. It sometimes takes hours, days, even months before serious brain, vertebral arteries and cervical spine injuries are revealed. Physicians know this, so again I say, INSIST ON A CT SCAN AND MRI TESTS! Please do this and let everyone you know and love how important this is. A note: Insurance companies probably don't want you to know this, both health and automobile insurance. I suspect/expect some negative comments to come from people (probably involved/working for insurance companies) but please ignore these because they do not want you to know as it is all about the money. When you go to the Hospital ER ask the Dr for a CT scan and MRI and he will do it because no Doctor wants to be sued if there is serious injury. Any ER will surely do the tests but you may have to ask/insist or even demand. Please do this because it could SAVE YOUR LIFE. I know, because I was in a bad auto accident and it wasn't until months later when a good Neurosurgeon did 3-D CT scans and MRI test that they found my neck was broken. I thank God that after 1 1/2 years of physical therapy I can now walk. Please tell your family and friends this important information. God Bless

  • Posted By: The Invincible @ 03/25/2009 3:15:53 AM

    wehn a person is dead..i think his deeds remain but i wonder how can some people be so frustrated that they are unable to stop themselves from bullying a dead lady.
    hats off to their ability ..

  • Posted By: ysummi @ 03/25/2009 3:03:40 AM

    Nature is interested in the process of Creation only. Nature is never interested in the wellbeing of Creature. It is the Parents/Guardian and the well-wishers only who are interested in the wellbeing of their children and the persons concerned in every situation. Due to this attachment we have families and societies. We must devote ourselves to care our loved ones in all circumstances, for our own sake. Lose of one's loved one is known by the one who lost his/her loved one. One is unable to challenge Nature but can challenge his/her own efforts.

  • Posted By: eglk @ 03/25/2009 3:02:56 AM

    Sincere sympathy to both families on loosing the loved ones. These two beautiful women were way too young to die.

  • Posted By: eglk @ 03/25/2009 3:00:57 AM

    Sincerely sympathy to both families on loosing the loved ones. Both women were beautiful and were too young to die.

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