Fresh Start

My daughter's search began with college guides tailored to her interests. During this past year, it wasn't unusual to see the "The Gay and Lesbian Guide to College Life," open on her bedroom floor. As "out" teens make a school's gay-friendly atmosphere a priority in their college decisions, they now have several of these guidebooks available to help them find the right school.

"The LGBT Students Guide to Colleges, Universities and Graduate Schools" was the first, published in 1994, followed by "The Advocate College Guide for LGBT Students" (2006). And mainstream publications, like The Princeton Review's, "The Best 368 Colleges" (2009) and "The Fiske Guide to Colleges" also include information tailored to assist college-bound LGBT youth. "As LGBT issues came to be more openly discussed, we devoted more attention to them," says Ted Fiske, the author of the Fiske publication. He adds that more colleges are marketing to "out" teens.

The need and desire for this information is out there, says Candace Gingrich, youth and campus outreach senior manager for the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights group based in Washington. "It's the kind of information you're not going to learn from a campus visit."

Colleges are also conducting more direct recruiting and outreach to gay students, says Shane Windmeyer, executive director of Campus Pride, a nonprofit organization for LGBT student leaders. The group developed the Climate Index as a way to allow colleges to connect with openly gay students. Currently, 185 colleges participate, and an average of 35,000 students contact participating colleges requesting information. While LGBT teens want to find an accepting place where they can learn and be safe, "Colleges today want to be called 'gay-friendly'," Windmeyer said.

The guides were quite helpful to my daughter Alyson, who initially had nearly all-female schools on her list of potential colleges. I urged her not to nix well-regarded colleges merely because they were co-ed. The list had to be more "inclusive," using a favorite term of Alyson's. Acknowledging this, she added a few co-ed institutions to her list.

Even if Alyson is lucky enough to find an accepting atmosphere, it's difficult for me, as her mother, knowing the prejudice, homophobia and hostility she'll inevitably face at some point during her college years. There will be times when people will no doubt, gawk at her if she walks down the street holding hands with a girlfriend. This doesn't bother Alyson, though. She's completely open about her sexuality and has found allies and mentors as a leader in an activist teen LGBT group called Riot Youth, which, among other things, is pushing for changes in school curriculum to include LGBT authors, figures in history and full coverage of LGBT issues in health classes.

Yet, even with the support she's been getting in high school, she's truly excited about college. Regardless of where she attends, "Absolutely, college will be better," she says. "I think I'm going to end up being happy." After all the research Alyson has invested in finding that special place, I'm comforted she will be.

© 2009