Slouching Toward Fatherhood

Wow is right. Some of you are completely uninformed.

No one thinks they will be depressed/anxious after their child is born. As an elementary school teacher, I sure didn't think I would have any problem at all! I love kids. I love my own kids more than I could have imagined. But, parenting is very difficult work. It is more difficult that I ever expected. It's just fine to have a difficult time adjusting to a loss of freedom and independence. Many people experience adjustment disorders when life changes. Why would that be different in parenting? Let's cut each other some slack. We can all find ourselves in a difficult spot at an unexpected time. I think this dad is incredibly brave and will help many other dads get the support they need to become better fathers.

Thank you for being brave enough to admit your PPD!!! As a society, Mom gets all the attention and consideration during pregnancy and after the baby is born, and no one stops to think how Dad reacts to being pushed into the background. Even though Dads don't experience the hormones, they go through the full gamut of their own emotionally trying to come to terms with the changes a baby brings to his own life. Unfortunately, soceity also refuses to acknowledge the seriousness of PPD in Moms let alone Dads!! So, for those who think he's a whimp... MAN UP YOURSELF AND DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Joel Schwartz!

You're bravely bringing male PPD out of the closet and into the light. As a mom who went through this 14 years ago when there was no information I came across explaining my feelings after the birth of my daughter, I really feel for you. Like you, I finally found out there was a name for that craziness, 5 years after the fact. It was still such a huge relief to know there was a name for it and to make sense of it.

For those of you doubting a father can get PPD, even adoptive parents can get it. It's not just a birth mother's territory.

This article should been entitled slouching to wimpiness. This guy is a pathetic excuse for a man, father, and husband. As a stay at home dad, I am so tired of hearing adults complain about how children ruin their lives--It is an easy problem to avoid. You would think after visiting a psycho-therapist this jerk would had avoided having more kids, but no he went on and had twins, then left his wife...Somehow he claims to be a better father now, freaking pathetic. This "man" is coward who values his own journey more than his kids. I find it funny that he doesn't even mention how his kids are doing. He should spend a lot time sitting on the floor, looking at old pictures, and then reflect on the quivering weakling he has become. Fatherhood is a man's game, if you don't want to play don't have kids.

I hope this isn't a serious plea for acceptance or sympathy, because it's undeserved. Way to be an adult prepared for the realities of parenting.

When my story about postpartum depression appeared in Newsweek's My Turn in July of 2004, I had never heard of male postpartum depression. I didn't even understand what I was going through, and had no earthly idea there was an entire spectrum of illnesses women, and as it turns out , even men could experience. It happens every day to people of all kinds and it has nothing to do with how smart you are or how tough you are. I talk to women all over the country who remind me every day both how real and how devastating these illnesses can be. I thank God we are now more open and honest about it, and I am grateful to Mr. Schwartzberg for his courage.

Katherine Stone
Atlanta, Georgia
Author, Postpartum Progress http://postpartumprogress.typepad.com

Ouch. Glad you aren't my dad. I wouldn't want to know that your inability to deal with the reality of fatherhood "caused" your marriage to fail, and enabled you to "lose your soul". You're a brave man for writing this in such a public way.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I found myself the subject of incredulous speculation by those who have chosen not to have children. One woman who could not fathom motherhood told me, "Your life as you know it is going to change." I fired back, "If I'm a good parent, it will." For your children's sake, I'm glad you were finally able to come to the parenting party.

Today is my son's birthday. For the last 15 years, I have felt like both a mom and dad to my kids. I never really could put my finger on it until this article. Now I understand a bit better why my husband has acted like he has, why our marriage has hopefully not been dealt a blow that it will not recover from. It does not make it any better but gives more understanding.