Raising Katie

now i would like to know your thoughts on same sex parents raising children

I don't care for the comment "why didn't a white family step up" I would have stepped up. We all have our own tales, mine is being a white woman who would love to adopt but have encountered the opposite. My neighbors, a white couple with two african american children are constantly observed in public by both white and black people. Is it racist? Probably, but you have to deal with it for the sake of your child - particularly because she is a different race than you - you can't her "those people they are racist" - then they will learn to hate their own race. Tolerance is truly the only answer. You love people into your way of thinking, not agrue them into it. I personally have been told by my african american friends that unless I am "prepared to fully embrace myself in their culture" I can't adopt a black child - what exactly does that mean? Admittedly, some of my white friends have an opinion about it too. One of them told me that I'm "too white" to raise a child of a different race. But I'm Italian!!! I have a vast mixture of friends and relatives. I live in a well mixed although upper middle class neighborhood - so why is it a problem for anyone. These critics never seem to have a real answer. Even if I were to list to their wishes and adopt "my own kind"; why are white, asian and hispanic children so much more expensive to adopt? And forget about an Italian baby, they are non-existant. It's a sad matter of fact that there are more black children in the adoption system than white or hispanic - sadder still that agencies are capitalizing on this - sad that anyone should have a problem with a child of any color being brought into a loving family of any color - sad also that this is possibly one of the reasons why so many non-black families adopt black children - they simply want a child regardless of their color. When I hear people say you shouldn't adopt outside your race it breaks my heart - where else will you find families for these children? How else will middle to lower class white childless families ever realize their dream of having a family when you don't want them to adopt outside their race and yet make it too expensive for them to adopt a child within their race. It's a sad situation all around. Children in the adoption system need loving homes regardless of color. God bless this beautiful family and all of their beautiful children. But please don't be too hard on the white folks you feel judging you - remember that your little girl is white too and you need to raise her to be proud of herself - from the smile on her face it looks like you are doing a wonderful job.

These attitudes can be annoying. I think the problem is one doesn't see white children with black parents very often. if we did maybe it would become commonplace?

We're all guilty of stereotyping to some degree, of someone. But stereotyping and prejudice are different. And racial prejudice is just racism. However, the Ridings and their kids are obviously bearing a much bigger brunt of our cultural ignorance. Yeah, we've come a long way. But the harsh reality is that we have an even longer way to go. The cultural (or racial) differences within our country are still great and therefore still lend favorably to racism.

I have 2 children that are half-white, and my youngest is half-black. And though they bear more than enough resemblance to me, that there's no visible concern when in public, both birth mothers have children fathered by other men...and when I'm in public with any of them, I'll get looks...especially when I have to get on them about getting ready to run into the parking lot without looking, or keeping their hands to themselves in the store. Any guesses as to what races give me looks? Yup, white folks look at me crazy when I yell at my then blonde-haired, blue-eyed son (he's 14 now and brunette with gray eyes, but you get the picture). And then black folks would take the time to make it known to me that they're visibly disturbed by my doing the same yelling at my dark-skinned kids. But white folks never seemed concerned about the black kids I was toting around, and black folks never seemed to care about the white kids I was toting around...much less my own 3 that look much like I do. Like Mark Riding, I thought at first it was just overly concerned citizens, but patterns are quick to develop when it comes to racial profiling.

To be perfectly honest (and disregard political correctness), Asians are much more accepted by whites, than blacks are accepted by whites. And I think whites are generally more accepted by blacks than Asians being accepted by blacks. And well Asians, accept whites more than blacks...but are even less tolerant to interracial relationships. I being Asian, can only speak to my personal experiences, which is why I make no mention of Hispanics. But yall can figure out where they'd fit in, I'm sure.

All said, I think it's all relatively OK, so long as we (perpetrators and defendants, alike) recognize the issue and make conscious efforts to minimize racial prejudice for ourselves, but even more so for our children. For those of us that have been on the receiving end, we should be tolerant and help educate. For those on the offending end, we should be more patient and open-minded.

I don't think Obama has anything to do with the way our country will/does progress in its racial identity. Perhaps it brings more awareness, but c'mon...do we really think America hasn't always had racism at or near the top of our radar in almost any arena of our daily lives? The news, alone, helps with that.

Just my penny and a half.

This little girl may have to deal with race issues, but they will be a lot easier to deal with than being passed on from foster home to foster home with no loving family and no roots. People's criticism and opinions you can get over and rise above with a loving family foundation. Not having a home or a family and being passed around causes damage that often is devastating. This little girl is lucky. Many black father's or mother's own mixed children look white anyways, sometimes a white looking child could easily be a black looking parent's natural child. My daughter is mixed and has blond hair and green eyes, luckily we live in a place where race is not such a big deal.

Really? I mean, I come from an interracial family. We all resemble some part of our ancestors and when I'm walking down the street with my mom, who happens to look white, no one says anything. I have friends who are "white" but where born to a black mother and a white father. This is not uncommon people and no one cares were I am because Cambridge is very diverse. in it's self. The rest of American needs to stop their ignorance and see outside the black and white box they so love to live in. they say we have evolved more than any other country with the whole race thing, well, I don't believe it. We as a nation have been in existence for over 200 years and were still racist and ignorant and stereotype one and other. Don't you think 200 years is enough time for human brain to get out of the gutter?

WOW! When couples are pregnant one of thier first thoughts is " I dont care what it is as long as its healthy" Why should it be any different when adopting. I may be predjuduce myself in saying, most people who want to adopt are kinda, ok, "well off". So it stands to reason that they will have a kinda, ok up bringing. It A BABY! Who cares what its race is, it has the same needs as every other baby and child. And yeah curiosity is normal and questions should be asked, if not for any reason but to educate the wonderer. Every child deserve love no matter from who!

I don't agree with suspecting that a parent has kidnapped a child is okay. People should be looking out for strange behavior, not for differences in appearance. This is why so many children are kidnapped. People have these preconceived notions that a kidnapper looks like "this" or "that" and are completely oblivious to the fact that anyone can be a bad person. Same goes for sex offenders. There's no sex offender stamp or look; you have to use common sense and be vigilant to recognize one. NOT use differences in race. Also, teach children to be wary of strangers, even those that smile at them and appear friendly. How many "would you like to see my puppy?" cases do we have to see?

Ibout - I had a feeling that someone would misinterpret that. Rather than say "and also give birth to some children" I said "have some of my own" purely to shorten the sentence. It was not meant to offend and I hope you didn't miss the entire message in my comment over that quick statement.

I am a white mom of seven foster/adopt Hispanic kids. My husband is also white. We get looks all the time. People aren't racist when they look at us - we don't match! We look like a walking daycare and we get asked that frequently. We aren't offended, we don't blend together in the same way that most families do. My sister has four kids that are hers with her Hispanic husband and gets asked if she's their nanny, she's not offended. My mom fosters an African-American child and people stop and ask questions. It's natural, it's a natural curiousity. With so many kidnappings nowadays I am GLAD that people stop and make sure my kids are safe. That natural curiousity is healthy, and it may return some kids home. Please if you have a question, ask....you're right we don't match....thanks for being curious....you may save a kids life, or be inspired as to why we don't match....you may find yourself wanting to have a rainbow family of your own. : )

I don't get it! Black people and white people are different! I am not say one is better than the other but no amount of political correctness is ever going to make blacks white or whites black. Let's face it, there is racism of some type on both sides of the issue, but not everything is mean spirited racism. Just like there are two sides of a football team there will always be sides in cultures, whether black or white, straight or gay, tall or short, skinny or fat. Everyone has gotten so thin skinned on account of political correctness that this has become a bigger issue than it really needs to be. Everytime a black person makes a remark about a white person its called racism. Everytime a white person makes a comment about a black person its racsim. It blows my mind to think about how far we have come in this country in such a short amount of time. A black family with a white daughter is going to get strange looks, and if they didn't expect to what were they thinking. Just the sight of a interracial couple still turns heads in this country. Why not because people are hateful or mean but because it is not the norm and things out of the norm draw attention.

I applaud the family for adopting her, regardless of her race. People can be so stupid about things. It's okay for a White family to adopt a child from Asian, Africa, yet a Black family cannot adopt a White child, or Asian child, without being looked at as kidnappers?!
I really think if the human race continues that ignorance, among other things I won't address, the human race will not last long. Always believe that the end of the human race will be the fault of other humans. Everyone is always trying to accuse someone of something or judge them. Here's a though, unless it's obvious, leave it alone, if you ask and get you answer, leave it alone. People should just mind their own business and stop trying to run everyone else's life, because they don't have control of their own!.