Why I Froze My Eggs

What does a "I want it all, individualistic" mentality have to do with this? The author obviously WANTS to be married w/kids. We don't know if she didn't want that in her 20s BEFORE her career! I think people are reading too much into this and injecting other issues into it as well. I mean, from the comments I see a lil of the single vs. married issue, adoption vs. natural issue, single motherhood vs.married motherhood issue, etc. The author is a woman who WANTS to find Mr. Right and have a family the traditional way, but as her biological clock is ticking, she's scared that she won't be able to. SHe said she had some extra $ and tried the treatment. she knows it's not 100%! And she never said that she would not consider adoption.

I think it is wonderful that this technology is now available. Choice has nothing to do with the author not having children yet. I got married at 29 when I finally met the man of my dreams and started trying to conceive right away. It took me ten years and 7 ivf cycles to be successful. I was pursuing adoption at the same time and would have been happy with either adopting a child or giving birth. A donor cycle was what eventually worked for me and I gave birth at the age of 40 to full-term healthy twins who are now almost 6 years old. I would have loved to have been able to do this when I was younger, but the reality is that at 45 I have just as much energy as I did at 25, but I have more patience, understanding and knowledge. I have also done a lot of traveling before having kids and spend all my vacations and time off from work with them - as I know they will want to be with friends in the not too distant future. I am fine with the donor aspect, but I would have loved to not have to deal with the issue of what to tell my children. I also had absolutely no issues with adoption and wanted to go that route earlier but it took about 7 years to convince my husband. Many men are opposed to adoption and would choose to be childless. It is not a matter of having it "all". It is a matter of having what you can and being happy.

I don't understand, Rachel, why you feel the need to have a husband in your picture of family bliss. Certainly it helps to have the emotional, physical, and financial support of an involved partner/husband, but it can be done alone as well. I have raised a 13-year-old son by myself all the while with my health declining from that which I enjoyed at his birth to being somewhat disabled at this point. It is the hardest job I have ever done but the most rewarding. You could easily hire helpers while still working to support yourself and your child as it appears you have a comfortable means of support. I don't agree with technology that seems to say "don't have it all by now...want it all by now?--then just take this quick fix and you'll be set." Not every societal or feminine issue can be solved by technology or medicine. Some problems simply require good old-fashioned common sense, maturity, strength, and faith.

Am I the only one who feels it is ridiculous to spend so much money on something so uncertain when alternatives are available? I don't know why everyone is so gung ho on in-vitro and fertility technology, which have huge risks, can cause medical problems, and can cause multiple pregnancies, when they could adopt an unwanted baby instead. Actually, I do. It's because humans are inherently selfish. They want a baby that will look like them. Ugh. I'm pro-choice, but one should examine the options and come to the conclusion that this IS a selfish option, and hardly the only one.

I don't know why I'm so intrigued with this story. I had two kids the regular unplanned way. Both of their fathers are Mr. Wrong! Mr. Right doesn't even exist at least not for me and yet millions of women are spending millions of dollars to preserve their fertility waiting on a ficticious perfect man to come along a be their husband and child's father. I'm not advocating single parent hood for everyone, because it is very difficult raising children alone. However, I question the seriousness of these women when it comes to motherhood. Do they really want to be mothers or do they just always want the option available? We all make choices in life and with those choices come consequences. I do not have a high powered career that pays really well, because I decided to put my children first. That means a regular 9 -5 job no evenings, no overtime, no travel, no bringing work home, no working on weekends or holidays. The consequence is that I am broke. Jobs that pay really well require all of the things I'm not doing now. My point is if you decide to have a jet setting 7 figure salary career you may be passing up your opportunity to be a mom biologically and just being there for your kids.

This is a wonderful thing to do. As a woman, it simply keeps your options open in an uncertain world. I wish this technology had been there for me. I didn't find Mr. Right until later in life, we married when I was 36 years old and immediately tried to have a family. After failed natural attempts along with about 4 failed IUI attempts, we resorted to IVF. I was told that due to my high FSH I was in ovarian reserve stage which means I have depletd my supply of healthy eggs and the chances of getting pregnant with IVF was about 10%. I am now 41 and childless. I can't help but wonder what might have happend if I had been able to freeze my eggs at the age of 34, when I had asked my OB about it. However at the time, unless those eggs were fertilized I wouldn't be able to freeze them. In hind sight, I wish I would have used the technology available at the time and went through with freezing embryos even though they would have been fertilized eggs with the help of an unknown donor. When you are faced with the reality that you may never conceive a child of your own, a comprimise is a blessing.

This is a wonderful thing to do. As a woman, it simply keeps your options open in an uncertain world. I wish this technology had been there for me. I didn't find Mr. Right until later in life, we married when I was 36 years old and immediately tried to have a family. After failed natural attempts along with about 4 failed IUI attempts, we resorted to IVF. I was told that due to my high FSH I was in ovarian reserve stage which means I have depletd my supply of healthy eggs and the chances of getting pregnant with IVF was about 10%. I am now 41 and childless. I can't help but wonder what might have happend if I had been able to freeze my eggs at the age of 34, when I had asked my OB about it. However at the time, unless those eggs were fertilized I wouldn't be able to freeze them. In hind sight, I wish I would have used the technology available at the time and went through with freezing embryos even though they would have been fertilized eggs with the help of an unknown donor. When you are faced with the reality that you may never conceive a child of your own, a comprimise is a blessing.

Very nice article. I agree with a lot of what she has to say.

I side more with Digital Dad than you, ListenUp. Again the issue is not LOVING and raising children the issue is having YOUR child and at any cost. Its definitely not the holistic decision that it needs to be. No different than these women and their doctors who intentionally implant multiple embryos, six, eight (whats next an even dozen) at a time. Its the me, ,me, me-ness of the whole approach to the matter that we take issue with.

Digital Dad you and others who are too ignorant to understand the story she just told should go hide under a rock. The world is changing and women are working at better jobs making 7 figure salaries and they are not going to shack up with some unresponsible deadbeat just to have some kids. It is selfish to think that just because these women want a better life for themselves, they should not be able to have kids because they're biological clock is running out. While I don't condone egg freezing, I understand the reasons one might want to do it. The author explained it very well - read it again before you JUDGE.

I honestly think that in the rapidly 'evolving' world we live in the need for a 'genetic' child is something that should diminish and the need to love and raise all of the worlds many unparented children should be greatly considered. And the reasons are many fold:
1) We are doing the environment and other species a big favor by not making a net add to the human population in general.
2) There are so many wonderful children out their sitting in orphanages around the world, line pound animals begging for a good home.
2) Lets face it people: Going to great 'Frankensteinian' lengths to have your 'own' child, at the end of the day leaves you with a lingering feeling of being one of the biggest narcissist on the planet.
Lets behave like an enlightened society and the results across the boards will pay huge dividends for society and the planet at largel.
We as Americans tend to think of ourselves exclusively, in that way we are perhaps more primitive and self absorbed than the most stone age tribes . In my ancestral background: poor greek villagers without access to birth control, the most fecund couple in the village would share additional babies with the couples who could not make children. The children were raised knowing their biological roots and had a connection to the that family but had profuse love for the 'infertile' couple that raised them and knew them as their primary parents. So you see we have much to learn behaving as an enlightened society from cultures that don't have the money and the 'science' to satsify our every whim and fancy on demand!

One very easy way to meet Mr. Right: in a fertility clinic. If you're that anxious and eager to have a baby, artificial insemination is another viable option. Still not an ideal substitution for the "traditional" methods, but life is all about choices and priorities. Due to divorce and life circumstances, I found myself, like the author, getting older without the baby I had longed for all my life. I am one of the lucky ones: I easily conceived my daughter (second try) at the age of 43 with the help of #3613, and she's the love of my life. I highly recommend parenthood, and for me, the hassles and inconveniences of single-motherhood are completely worth it.

I'm just glad I don't have a single drop of maternal desire. I'm 41 and unmarried and feel no need to preserve my eggs. I'm all too aware of my many flaws, so I've never quite understood the desire to produce genetically related offspring. Reliving the consequences of flaws passed to my child would be painful.

I do agree, however, that as a nation we should choose adoption more, especially those who are infertile or a pro-lifer. I also do agree that women should be cautious about become pregnant after 35. Yes, things usually turn out just fine - or you may spend every remaining day of your life taking care of a permanently disabled child, knowing you didn't do everything you could to ensure a healthy birth without lasting consequences.

Both opinions are clearly valid.

1. You are an older female, who perhaps b/c of outside circumstances has not been in a position to have relationship and/or financial security and want to take steps towards preserving your abilities as a woman.

2. You believe that this is not the way nature intended for things to be and feel that this is wrong/unfair to future children/etc.

EITHER WAY, it is an indiviudal choice!!!!!!!!!!!! No one can decide what is right/wrong for anyone.
This woman obviously yearns for a child of her own as many woman do - this is not a crime - and if she wants to takes steps to make that a reality, I commend her!!!

I feel sorry for the author of this article simlply because she views motherhood as something to be "achieved." Talking from experience going down the infertility path ( I went through 10 years of unsuccessful attempts, 6 invito attempts and multiple miscarriages, I can only say that children are a gift and need to viewed that way. And, what most egg freezing and embryo clinics won't disclose to you is that when eggs or embryos go through the thawing process for fertilization, 50 to 85 % roughly don't make it. So,,,,you'd better freeze a lot of eggs or embryos. Not to mention the fact that there are many other factors at play when transferring embryos into the uterous. After years of going through this with some of the best doctors in the country( most gave me these honest stats) I got an eye opening and a hard dose of reality. These procedures work for less than 40% of women and while there are not any conclusive studies that link these procedures to cancer, there isn't any proof to the contrary because it would be unethical to test women in these situations. I am all for the technology, don't get me wrong, I just think women listen to too many "hyped up" stories from the media and from clinics who want their money and are not always realistic about their options for the future. This is the hard part. I went through it, and I don't regret it because it made me appreciate what i now have,, a beautiful son I adopted. Women need to be told the hard facts and stats and shouldn't be sold "the dream" of being able to have a baby at any age. It isn't possible for all women no matter what technology dictates.