Like a Virgin No More

Why modern brides are opting for racy gowns, wild bachelorette parties and sexy Maxim-style pre-wedding photo shoots.

Newsweek Web Exclusive
Jun 4, 2009 | Updated: 3:18  p.m. ET Jun 4, 2009

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  • Posted By: tadpole_one @ 07/03/2009 9:43:48 AM

    It's not about brides blushing vs flaunting, but the question is whether a wedding is the end of a phase of her old life as a single or a beginning of the fullness of a new life as a married woman. We attended a wedding with a Bare Belly Bride, and upon returning home, my wife, we married 39 years ago, reflected that she wished she had such a sexy bare midriff wedding dress for our special day, not to be exhibitionistic, not make other women jealous, but simply to celebrate the joy of the culmination of the fullness of our new married life together, ie, now we can have sex. Yes, marriage is much more than jusrt sex, it is a development of a couple's relationship on a timeline. They meet, become interested, become friends, soulmates, become affectionate, become members of each others families, get engaged, get married, have sex, get kids, help each other triumphs and heartaches, grieve for one another, and link up again in the afterlife. Many of these steps must preceede the wedding before final commitments are made. Those wedding vows seal the couple's fullness of marriage in front of God and Comminity, but the marriage process has already begun from the day they met. And the fullness of marriage now inclkdes a sex life, so a wedding is very much about sex as that point where a couple make their ultimate commitment to be together fully in every way, now including sex as well as the otheraspects before and to come after. Therefore it is no secret and we all know that the the couple will have their first sexual encounteron their wedding night and on their honeymoon. We do not begrudge them their new found sex life as part of these wedding traditions. So why do so many begrudge them a more public manifestation of their new sex life as a couple through the vehicle of the bride's sexy bare midriff wedding dress and her visually appreciative groom? Bare midriffs are not nudity, pornography, not illegal, not immoral. Therefore we see a sexy bare midriff wedding dress as very much an appropriate part of the wedding ritual. And per commentor Newsreader 777 comments farther down the listings, we wish that we had these memories of our sexy youth in photos to remnisce, and we miss those sexy moments in our wedding photo album, including my wife's wished for sexy bare midriff wedding dress, to show our adult sons, families, and friends of how we were 39 years ago.

    • Posted By: tadpole_one @ 07/03/2009 2:03:10 PM

      I hope that the thread of the comments I've seen farther down the line, around June 15, 16 etc, will have finally returned to the topic of the article, about sexy bare midriff wedding dresses and whether such wedding dresses are appropriate or not for such auspicious occasions, and will have gotten away from the polrmics of who are more moral, men vs women, issues of religion where for those who believe no proof is necessary but for those who do not believe no proof is possible, and other personal attacks.which have no place in a respected magazine website such as Newsweek, and just cluttered up the comments with irrelevant trivia.

  • Posted By: tadpole_one @ 07/03/2009 9:43:55 AM

    It's not about brides blushing vs flaunting, but the question is whether a wedding is the end of a phase of her old life as a single or a beginning of the fullness of a new life as a married woman. We attended a wedding with a Bare Belly Bride, and upon returning home, my wife, we married 39 years ago, reflected that she wished she had such a sexy bare midriff wedding dress for our special day, not to be exhibitionistic, not make other women jealous, but simply to celebrate the joy of the culmination of the fullness of our new married life together, ie, now we can have sex. Yes, marriage is much more than jusrt sex, it is a development of a couple's relationship on a timeline. They meet, become interested, become friends, soulmates, become affectionate, become members of each others families, get engaged, get married, have sex, get kids, help each other triumphs and heartaches, grieve for one another, and link up again in the afterlife. Many of these steps must preceede the wedding before final commitments are made. Those wedding vows seal the couple's fullness of marriage in front of God and Comminity, but the marriage process has already begun from the day they met. And the fullness of marriage now inclkdes a sex life, so a wedding is very much about sex as that point where a couple make their ultimate commitment to be together fully in every way, now including sex as well as the otheraspects before and to come after. Therefore it is no secret and we all know that the the couple will have their first sexual encounteron their wedding night and on their honeymoon. We do not begrudge them their new found sex life as part of these wedding traditions. So why do so many begrudge them a more public manifestation of their new sex life as a couple through the vehicle of the bride's sexy bare midriff wedding dress and her visually appreciative groom? Bare midriffs are not nudity, pornography, not illegal, not immoral. Therefore we see a sexy bare midriff wedding dress as very much an appropriate part of the wedding ritual. And per commentor Newsreader 777 comments farther down the listings, we wish that we had these memories of our sexy youth in photos to remnisce, and we miss those sexy moments in our wedding photo album, including my wife's wished for sexy bare midriff wedding dress, to show our adult sons, families, and friends of how we were 39 years ago.

    • Posted By: tadpole_one @ 07/03/2009 1:18:04 PM

      Again apologies for 3 postings that were to have been just 1. Rather than to repeat the apology replies, please se the reply for the first on on top of the list, since I do not know whether the 3rd apology reply got registered into the system, as the message simply disappeared off the screen while still typing.

  • Posted By: tadpole_one @ 07/03/2009 10:30:14 AM

    It;s not about brides blushing vs flaunting, but about starting a new life as a full married woman vs her old single life. The fullness of a couple's relationship includes a sex life. Yes, marriage is not just only about sex, but marriage is a continuing process in a timeline of the couple's relationship. They meet, become interested, become friends, become soulmates, become affectionate, become members of each families, get married, start having sex, get children, support each others triumphs, trials, and tribulations, grieve for each other, and finally link up again in the afterlife. Many of these aspects need to be confirmed first before a total commitment is made. It is at the point of the timeline that the couple's sex life finalizes the fullness of the relationship where the total and permanent bond between them becomes a true couple in the eyes og God and the Community in the form of a wedding ritual. While sex is only a part of marriage, so too a wedding is only a part of marriage, and it is that part which does focus on the justification for a sex life. So, a wedding ritual is very much an appropriate part of a couple's sexuality. We do not begrudge the bride and groom their wedding night or honeymoon. So why should we begrudge the bride her sexy bare midriff wedding dress and her groom's appreciation of her in a more public manifestation of their new life together than wedding night or honeymoon. Bare midriffs are not nudity, not pornography, not illegal, and not immoral. But a bride's sexy bare midriff wedding dresses and the groom's admiration of her, espouse the real spirit of a wedding as a start of a new beginning of the fullness of a couple's marriage rather than a virginal highly covered dress, really an ode to her past single life, where they now will be having a sex life as well as all those other parts of their life that had already been solidified before, and which will help them to develop their marriage farther, give them strength in their trials and tribulations, and joy in their triumphs. We attended a wedding recently with a Bare Belly Bride. As we returned home, my wife of 39 years of marriage reflected that she wished that she'd have had a sexy bare midriff wedding dress on our special day as well to have photos to remnisce and show our adult sons, families and friends, not to be exhibitionistic or make others jealous, but to simply have had the opportunity to express and experience our joy of having tirned a leaf in our new lives, including now our sex lives, through our wedding, Like Newsreader 777's comments farther down the line in this thread. If one does not do it then at the time of one's youth, it will be too late to create back that which one would have wanted to do. Any upcoming brides thinking of wearing sexy bare midriff wedding rings, go for it!

    • Posted By: tadpole_one @ 07/03/2009 1:14:26 PM

      Sorry for the 3 messages which should have been just 1, due to the unfamiliarity of using this comment form for the first time. I just tried to give the same apology in the 3rd reply, but again, suddenly the screen went blank and I'm not sure it registered or not. But all 3 full postings got registered even though 2 simply disappeared off the screen before finishing. Webmaster, please do something to make ther comment form more user friendly. While each of the full postings had some different wordings, since each time I had to retype I could not remember the exact previous wordings, all three postings gave the same message of the points I had wished to raise.

  • Posted By: Heather_18 @ 06/28/2009 11:48:48 PM

    The wedding dresses we wear is not all we can do. My girlfriend Gia is going to have her DeeJay play a song by the group Nine Inch Nails as her first dance. Its called "I want to F++K You Like an Animal." It's pretty wild and I would never have a song like that played as my first dance, but I am glad we live in a world that gives us the freedom to do it. Gia feels its time to just keep it real because even women like to screw.

  • Posted By: lawfinance @ 06/05/2009 2:24:55 PM

    My European fiancée tells me that American women are strange and very lonely inside. After being with her and only viewing American women from the outside, I agree. My question for Newsweek is what???s the point? So if a girl feels ???freedom and empowerment??? by acting like a slut, that is an improvement? To pick an old example in history, if I were a woman, I would say an improvement in my potential social status and empowerment for the betterment of me would be, say, something like watching Amelia Earhart fly her plane and succeed in new world records and flights. That is something to be proud of. Today it could be having the opportunities to go to college and begin a career in areas that no one in the world (including men and women) can achieve today. But acting like a ho at a Bach party before getting married? I find no dignity or honesty in that type of behavior and if ever find that my ???future??? wife acted like this, she???d be packing and out the door. That???ll make her feel ???freedom??? for sure. I find it odd that the more opportunities that American women have today in 2009, year after year they act like sluts which is the reversal of actually being someone with self-worth. The more they have freedom, the more they seem obsessed with what???s between their legs. Sometimes I feel sorry for these women in that they have to act this way to ???feel anything??? worthy of themselves. I guess that is why so many of them are on You Porn. Must be the freedom and empowerment thing again. And what???s the point of Newsweek putting this article online? Are they short on good writers? Are they short in material? Is Newsweek the ground zero for the new ???Feminist Movement??? within America? Maybe a boomer female CEO runs the company these days. Whenever you see an article such as this one, you have to ask yourself a number of questions, such as why was it written, why about weddings, why about bachelorette parties? What is the point of all this in one article? It???s too narrowly focused upon being as being a competition against men for it to be coincidental. Why do women always feel the need to be in competition with us men? Do you lack something for yourself?

    • Posted By: Nadia K. @ 06/06/2009 6:14:56 PM

      I myself am a woman and I came here from Europe. I totaly understand what you are saying and agree with you in every way. I do not understand American culture, I feel that it is an emotionally and psychologically sick society, and I perceive the American people to be very unhappy people. What has happened to American women is a tragedy, and they just keep sinking deeper into their phony and unreal make believe world. American women do not have the respect of their men, and the relationships between them are more often then not very shallow, lacking real deep and meaningful soul binding, which makes relationships so rewarding and beautiful. Both, the men and women seem to emphasise to much on the act of sex itself, therewith robbing themselves of enchanting romance that leads spontaneously to the intimate act itself.... I have on many occasions had conversations with women about those issues, ad was almost always amazed for their lack of understanding of those things which were so normal and natural for women to understand where I came from... I feel so grieved when I see how American women have been lied to, bought the lie, but yet will still claiming they are the truly liberated ones! I believe American culture is also breading the attitude of pride and arrogance, so it is no wonder they won't listen to any wisdom. What a pity!!! But I think your article is right to the point, although you may be bashed for it. I wrote some, and I was bashed also! Please keep writing about this issue.. They really need help! Good luck to you and your fiance!

      • Posted By: Minigrl @ 06/14/2009 2:36:08 PM

        I am what some of you have so delicately labeled "A liberated Woman". I am in my 40's, am single and dating (and yes having sex out of wedlock). I would consider myself a very independent woman. I can appreciate Nadia's views, but what I would like to ask is: Why shouldn't liberated/modern women have the respect that modern men of this world so readily demand? On the day that I marry, that man will be someone who loves me for ALL of me, as I would HIM. Marriage to me is a life long partnership. Not always perfect (there is no such thing as perfection), but a loving partnership means that you work things out and move on. Marriage is after all a type of job.

        I put to you another question. Why is it that a woman who has had partners before her marriage be considered a slut or a whore when men still to this day get resounding pats on the back for all of their pre-marriage conquests? Although I do agree that both men and women have taken this fight for equality to the extremes, why do we have to pigeon hole people because of their beliefs or lifestyles. The beautiful thing about living and growing up in North America (Canada included), is that we are ALL entitled to our opinions and beliefs and to live by them. In a majority of the countries of the world, the residents have never had that option. I for one prefer to live a healthy and happy single (and yes sexually active life) because I am an intelligent, adult woman. On my wedding day I would hope to be marrying a man who not only respects me and views me as his equal partner but also feels that I am because that is how I would view him. And unlike some people in this world, even as a modern woman, I am a strong believer in monogamy. Something which in my experience, is not something that a lot of men believe in or are capable of sticking to. This is not the 1950's any more. Society has changed and in order to survive I think having an open mind and heart makes our lives much better and definitely a little less stressful.

        • Posted By: 30yr old male @ 06/14/2009 3:11:45 PM

          It seems you dont understand men dont want to marry a slut. Thats why its taboo for a woman to go around sleeping with everyone and acting like its "liberating".

          I dont want to marry a woman whos been the town bicycle.

          • Posted By: hmwallace @ 06/14/2009 3:43:34 PM

            In all fairness, as a woman, I don't want to marry a man who has done the same.

            • Posted By: 30yr old male @ 06/14/2009 3:50:46 PM

              Actually I find that funny because Ive come across woman who are turned on by the idea of a guy being a "player".

              • Posted By: haz200 @ 06/23/2009 3:14:12 PM

                If you have been such a slut, your words not mine, then it's likely that those are the type of women you would attract (those who like sluts). A woman who wants a man who hasn't slept around would avoid you. But, keep on speaking for all of us humans, after all, we don't deserve our own voice.

              • Posted By: hmwallace @ 06/14/2009 4:20:00 PM

                just as I have come across men who are turned on by women who are "easy". It goes both ways. Most women I know would not want to be with a man who has been around.

              • Posted By: vanity_luvs_u @ 06/14/2009 3:58:03 PM

            • Posted By: 30yr old male @ 06/14/2009 3:49:46 PM

              Then dont.

      • Posted By: Elistra @ 06/14/2009 3:46:23 PM

        Speaking as someone who was raised in it, here's the usual pattern:

        1) Wife turns out to be an irrational, obnoxious, narcissistic harridan who doesn't care about anyone but herself (though she pretends otherwise), uses her husband for whatever she can get, and sees nothing wrong with that. (If the positions were reversed though, she'd be screaming bloody murder.)

        2) Husband refuses to give in and she divorces him, husband (wisely) divorces her, or they stay married, but she manages to make him an insignificant observer in his own home, effectively removing his ability to influence family life.

        3) Sons grow up irresponsible and with a sense of entitlement. There's no father present to model better behaviors and/or smack the kid one when the kid's getting out of hand, or the father is technically present but has been reduced to a ball-less shadow of himself. Son combines those unfortunate attributes with his mother's self-centeredness and incompetence, thus virtually insuring that he will never be a worthwhile mate later on.

        4) Daughters either fall prey to the harridan's constant criticism, and exhibit self-destructive behaviors (teen pregnancy, eating disorders, etc.) while simultaneously modeling their mother's selfishness and lack of regard for others, or rebel against their monstrous 'mother' by developing genuine virtues (honesty, efficiency, pragmatism, industriousness, etc.) and getting the hell out of there as fast as she can, the second she becomes an adult.

        Once they grow to adulthood, either...

        5) Self-destructive, self-obsessed daughter meets someone else's worthless son, and the cycle repeats.

        6) Virtuous daughter meets someone else's worthless son. After many disappointments, she gets tired of being the only adult in the house and starts screaming and lashing out at him, eventually becoming an obnoxious harridan. The cycle repeats.

        Welcome to America, the land the Boomers destroyed.

        • Posted By: lawfinance @ 06/15/2009 2:21:29 PM

          Oh oh oh Elistra,,,perfectly said.

        • Posted By: lawfinance @ 06/15/2009 2:16:39 PM

          Oh oh oh Elistra,,,that was perfect. I am going to save your post.

      • Posted By: lawfinance @ 06/11/2009 11:17:11 AM

        Nadia,
        Great reply and you stated a lot of what my fiancee would say also. She works with American women and she comes home frustrated at their behavior, lack of common sense and good judgment, and how they "dress as though they're in a bar" just so they can "show off". At work this is not acceptable, but the baby boomers in our country began the demoralization of this country in the 1960s and now we are seeing the effects. I have not dated an American woman since 2001 and I have no regrets. After being with my European fiancee, I no longer have to apologize for my "normal" behavior, I have feel comfortable about her and her friends, I am never accused of lying or wrongdoing because she has self-worth and confidence in herself. She dresses like a lady, cooks, cleans, doesn't smoke or drink and truly loves me. Actually, if she smoked or drank it would not matter to me but that is her choice. She has an engineering degree and earns her own money, but doesn't flaunt it as though her ego needs to attention from me or anyone else. I am amazed at the differences in the cultures between ours and Europe. My friends are blown away at how committed she is to me and how she really likes being with me. No games, no cheating, no violence. They want a European girlfriend also and I tell all men; GO EUROPEAN,,,OR ASIAN. You won't regret it and you'll get your life back to normal.

        • Posted By: tnt-taylor @ 06/14/2009 2:14:48 PM

          its a funny thing that my last trip to europe, while in france EVERY WOMEN i saw was sucking on a cigarette and the president of germany's sculpture was topless on the front page of the local news....please rethink your words or open your eyes and step out of that little european town you live in and visit a big city...even your REGULAR tv stations show PORN for FREE! Aleast here (in america) we have those things censored. So again please rearrange your thinking, Europe is more SLUTY than any american could ever be.

          • Posted By: hmwallace @ 06/14/2009 3:46:17 PM

            I don't know. They seem to appreciate human sexuality over there. It's different here, and IMO, in a bad way. I guess you could say that it's perverted here in the U.S. and what is being shown to our children is ridiculous.

            • Posted By: Antoinet @ 06/15/2009 1:55:17 AM

              Wow, okay, I get your point. I lived in Paris. Call that a small European town if you wish. You're right about things being generally more liberated there. Have you considered that maybe that's why we don't obsess with sex and when and who and how we're gonna have it next? Have you heard that the US is one of the ONLY industrialized countries in which the spread of STDs among the teen population is the highest? Something is off, I'd say but then again, I'm from some small European town... :)

          • Posted By: Minigrl @ 06/14/2009 2:54:46 PM

            Part of the problem is that there has been severe censorship in regards to anything sexual in North America. Men have perpetuated the view that if a woman enjoys being sexual with a partner she is considered a slut or whore, while men are routinely cheered on and patted on the back when they crow about their sexual prowess. Sex is a natural act, but here in North America it is frowned upon when you are to open about your sexuality. People need to lighten up. If you choose not to be open about it, great! But don't condemn the ones who are whether they are men or women.

      • Posted By: benrugo @ 06/14/2009 2:19:47 PM

        Regarding competition: Psychological studies (Carol Gilligan, Harvard) indicate that women are collaborative and men are competitive. When women go for competitive they are betraying their innate nature. How do bare wedding dresses indicate competitiveness with men. Be for timelessness: elegant.

      • Posted By: Antoinet @ 06/14/2009 1:54:18 PM

        Nadia K:

        Amen to all you said. I'm from Europe too and was completely phased by men who expected me to have lesser morals (not religiosity) than I have. I don't mean to criticize but I k now a lot of men coming here from abroad because this is the place where the women are supposedly the easiest to bed... and the worst to marry. That's really sad because it rubs on other women American or else who live here and are trying to give a different meaning to female empowerment.

      • Posted By: lyssandra @ 06/14/2009 7:55:43 AM

        That's curious - especially considering that Europeans have had a more liberating view of sex and sexuality than most Americans. I'll assume you're one of the cloister sisters then - as that must explain why you haven't kept up with the times in your own country.

      • Posted By: lawfinance @ 06/11/2009 11:17:34 AM

        Nadia,
        Great reply and you stated a lot of what my fiancee would say also. She works with American women and she comes home frustrated at their behavior, lack of common sense and good judgment, and how they "dress as though they're in a bar" just so they can "show off". At work this is not acceptable, but the baby boomers in our country began the demoralization of this country in the 1960s and now we are seeing the effects. I have not dated an American woman since 2001 and I have no regrets. After being with my European fiancee, I no longer have to apologize for my "normal" behavior, I have feel comfortable about her and her friends, I am never accused of lying or wrongdoing because she has self-worth and confidence in herself. She dresses like a lady, cooks, cleans, doesn't smoke or drink and truly loves me. Actually, if she smoked or drank it would not matter to me but that is her choice. She has an engineering degree and earns her own money, but doesn't flaunt it as though her ego needs to attention from me or anyone else. I am amazed at the differences in the cultures between ours and Europe. My friends are blown away at how committed she is to me and how she really likes being with me. No games, no cheating, no violence. They want a European girlfriend also and I tell all men; GO EUROPEAN,,,OR ASIAN. You won't regret it and you'll get your life back to normal.

      • Posted By: Jackov @ 06/08/2009 3:56:38 PM

        Nadia, I love you! Will you marry me?

      • Posted By: Posted By Me @ 06/07/2009 5:50:26 PM

        I believe that values have changed, but not only in America. The trends and images of what is sexy are viewed by many as disturbing. Today, women are portrayed as promiscuous. But, that is only a fraction of women. Women can be sexy and feel empowered not only by the clothes they wear, but in the way they carry themselves and through their accomplishments on many levels.

        I disagree with your comments about American women. Just as you do not understand American culture, I do not understand European culture. You just cannot say that ???[American] men and women seem to emphasis to much on the act of sex itself, therewith robbing themselves of enchanting romance that leads spontaneously to the intimate act itself....??? I find that most Europeans are more likely to engage in casual sex than Americans. Therefore, ???robbing themselves of enchanting romance.??? It is a two way road! The trend is a happening globally.

        This article mentions fashion trends as well. And most big fashion houses come from Europe, sometimes pushing the envelope.

    • Posted By: kimmydrew @ 06/14/2009 1:31:27 PM

      I appreciate your comments. I as a woman have no desire to be in competition with men, but to be the best at the things I do as a woman. We actually increase our bondage by acting immoral.

    • Posted By: lovedeedee @ 06/08/2009 8:10:32 AM

      So it is ok for you to unzip your pants, but it is not ok for us, women to spead our legs open without being treated like whores ?? geezz.... when are you going to realize that we are all, human beings ? As a female, I want to be treated with respect and not be judge, no matter what I do with my body and I am sick of that man's world who always has tried to control female behavior. WE ARE EQUAL !

      • Posted By: St. Petersburger @ 06/08/2009 9:21:44 AM

        You want to be treated with respect no matter what you do with your body??? That's a bit counterintuitive. If you don't treat your own body with respect - no way no how anyone is going to respect you.

  • Posted By: Heather_18 @ 06/14/2009 11:29:28 PM

    I just want to give a shout out to all the ladies out there who underestimate the power of womanhood. I am getting married soon and I have a nice stylish Wedding dress to best showcase my assets. I encourage all women to avail yourself of the best in order to keep your man interested and the competitative yearning and competition going. Man have to be trained, otherwise they take us for granted. But God gave us the great equalizer. He gave us the Vagina, which we cant show directly. But we can show all the other accompaniments. We can show the guys what gets them interested and what gets their loins tingling. Some men migfht say they're immune, but they are not. The see our nipples, our bare feet, our legs, our belly buttons, our buttocks or sexy hands as well as our faces and lips. They get turned on. All You have to do is showcase it right and a man will do anything for You. Her wants your Vagina. Train him how to respect it, and how to get it.

    • Posted By: haz200 @ 06/23/2009 3:07:38 PM

      This has to be sarcasm. Right?

    • Posted By: james ballard @ 06/15/2009 5:13:56 AM

      • Posted By: james ballard @ 06/15/2009 5:41:15 AM

        ....this "blog" template is really screwed up....one more good reason to boycott "Newsweek"...you can relax now "Antoinet"; it just doesn't get worse than this bimbo calling herself "Heather". She embarrasses even the dumbest of American men.... (I suspect "she" is a "sock puppet" !!)...And we love Paris; "Viva La France", or however you spell it !!...J.B.

        • Posted By: Antoinet @ 06/15/2009 11:37:35 PM

          James: It's "Vive la France..." :)

          • Posted By: james ballard @ 06/22/2009 4:29:52 PM

            3:22 PM CST...uhh...I know it ain't "Marie" 'cause ya still got your head....daahh, I think it was "Antoinette" anyhow, so nevermind...thanx for the primer, Antoinet, wait til you see my Mandarin...Sir James, The Radiant One

  • Posted By: haz200 @ 06/23/2009 2:36:23 PM

    Are you sure this article was copyrighted in 2009, because it sounds like 1950. You are against living together before married (or even women living alone before marriage), bachelorette parties (but not bachelor parties- double standard), premarital sex (95 percent of Americans have premarital sex, guttmacher institute) and rise in the age of matrimony. What's the obsession with virginity? I think its a little perverted to be so involved in other people's sex lives. In any case, 20 to 30 years ago the divorce rate was at 50 percent. I doubt many girls fantasized about growing up divorced. By being older and wiser before making a commitment, by being sexually satisfied (well you know what you're getting), and by living together so that you know what a shared life will be like, maybe more of today's generation will stay married because they have a better expectation about what marriage will be. And isn't that the point of marriage, really? Not some one-day Cinderella fantasy wedding. As for Stephanie Coontz, you can assure her, if you haven't had the conversation about your future before you get to the alter (in a sexy dress or a burqa), then you already lost the marriage.

  • Posted By: Alidoodle116 @ 06/16/2009 8:33:29 PM

    Women are acting sexually provocative in general because they feel they HAVE to be sexier than other women in order to get and keep a man interested. This has absolutely nothing to do with women feeling independent. In fact, the opposite.

  • Posted By: Marcie L. @ 06/15/2009 11:47:14 PM

    Nadia,
    I completely agree with you. I am an American woman and am disgusted with how we are regressing instead of advancing. I have a newborn daughter and hope to raise her to achieve her own personal goals, not focus on her exterior appearance in order to attract a man. I find it pathetic that so many woman revolve their entire lives around "trying to keep their man interested". Unbelievable. I have no idea why anyone believes this classless behavior is acceptable.

  • Posted By: Therese Shechter @ 06/15/2009 8:39:31 PM

    If you really want a trend story, how about women who aren't interested in either of those two limited options. At Offbeat Bride, a website that asks you to 'altar your thinking,' women are busting through stereotypes and reinventing what it means to be a sexy bride. These hot, fabulous women are really embracing the "freedom and empowerment" that so inspires Ms. Bratten.

    Some of the more recent posts include Gabrielle & Andres' "tattoo parlor meets tea at grandma's house" wedding, Shrie & Brett's Vintage 50's Mexican Fiesta Hitchin'! and Sarah & Jess's Scottish/Southern/Unitarian Beach Wedding

    Interestingly, many of the offbeat brides are also plus-sized. Given the standard fashion and beauty norms attached to the wedding industrial complex, it's no surprise that an alternative space is the only welcoming one.

    theamericanvirgin.blogspot.com

  • Posted By: galvestontxus @ 06/15/2009 5:49:02 PM

    *** these sleazy whores. For that matter, why marry in the first place. ???If it Flies, Floats or ***, RENT IT!???

  • Posted By: galvestontxus @ 06/15/2009 5:47:59 PM

    *** these sleezy whores. For that matter, why marry in the first place. If it Flys, Floats or ***, RENT IT!

  • Posted By: lawfinance @ 06/15/2009 2:25:04 PM

    Oh poor, poor Heather. Still living in the ghetto projects? These kind of "boys" you're talking about will do anything for you because that is all they have to live for because they probably don't have any objectives in life but to get stoned and have babies out of wedlock and listen to Lazy Z while smoking blunts. Good luck "gurl".

  • Posted By: Heather_18 @ 06/15/2009 8:57:13 AM

    Someone said that we are "Girls Gone Wild." I disagree. I think it is Girls taking the initiative and taking control. One of my Moms favorite performers was Helen Reddy, who sang the hit song, "I am woman." In the song, She says " am invincible." We can indeed be invincible, if we use the best strategy we have. You have to show the honey in order to attract the bees. Men have one track minds. They want our jelly, so our focus should be to let them fantacise about it all they want and reward them with it when they behave, and punish them with the loss of it when they dont.

  • Posted By: jongmaster @ 06/08/2009 8:31:25 AM

    Women are becoming like men. This was bound to happen, because for the 5000 plus years, men and women had defined roles. Today, women don't know what they are, and men have this problem as well. Men can't act like the traditional male and are frustrated.
    This change in roles has happened over the past 70 years or so, ( world war 2) after more than 5000 years of traditional gender roles.
    The only smart thing for a guy to do is nail as much tang as he can. One of my friends has nailed at least 30 women this year. He wants to be married and have a traditional relationship,but you have to go through 100 women before you find a good one now. As much as I dislike the Muslims, they have their *** under control. We just have to take away woman's rights, and treat them like property. Men and women are not equal. We are smarter, and stronger, and in the jungle, it's the strong that survive.

    • Posted By: 1mft @ 06/08/2009 8:45:17 AM

      oh my god, why dont you take your club and beat yourself with it, while your at it, beat your dog of a friend too. Slide back into the cave from which you crawled. YOU were the product of the fastest swimming sperm? Scary.

      • Posted By: jongmaster @ 06/08/2009 9:24:55 AM

        I have a degree in Physics, Paid for my own education, owned several companies,am a pilot, and a master of Kung Fu to name a few of my accomplishments...What are yours baby?
        I'm a smart, ass kicking cave man.

        • Posted By: horngold @ 06/08/2009 9:55:25 AM

          I also have a degree in physics as well as a degree in music (I also paid for my own education). I am now an actuary (probably making more money then you) and am a 2nd dan in Tang Soo Do. I also run competively, speak fluent french, and play symphony french horn. I'm also an army veteran and have a very nice fiancee. Did I mention I'm a woman? I'll assume you're single, get used to it moron.

          • Posted By: jongmaster @ 06/08/2009 12:42:45 PM

            Four months ago the group I was involved in offered $900,000,000 for the Rio. I have a black belt in tang soo do and a black belt in hakko ryu as well. I have trained the Army as a guest instructor, by special invitation. (the FBI and the DOD as well) And believe me, I could beat you up with one hand tied behind on back using no kicks, just my Wing Chun. You weak woman!
            Remember, your biological purpose, my friendly scientist, is to have children and raise them. Read a biology book. A mans biological purpose is to spread his DNA to as many females as possible. This is scientific fact, not me.
            Thus, your mission is to get banged as many times as possible, and produce as many kids as you can. I am so glad I'm not you my pathetic friend. (Men age better than women as well..Ha Ha ha...)

            BTY,Most would consider my martial arts skills in the top 2% of the martial artists in the USA. I assume you have no idea what your forms mean. If I asked you what you were doing in the Katas (Hyungs) you would no clue or completely misunderstand what you're doing. Q: Do you even know who the founder of your system is?
            Send me some pictures of yourself naked, If I think your good enough looking, I might be willing to have sex with you.

            • Posted By: JohnJJJ @ 06/14/2009 5:49:53 PM

              my above post to jongmaster was truncated.
              The last paragraph is repeated to follow the thread:

              To jongmaster: (cont.)

              Your dysfunctional mind, jongmaster, has yet to work out that a logical condition of being civilized is to treat people with respect... A person is a human being FIRST:...their gender ,age, race, height, weights, are secondary....A male or female, is a person first! Is the algebra here, not too difficult for you to follow.?

              Your failed physics is a mask on how superstitious you really are in making sense of science or reality. This name dropping of biological terms shows that bully-voo-doo is how you cope with your own inadequacies. Your addiction to name dropping big words, with no clue as to their meaning shows up again, in your description of professional martial art. You obviously failed to pay attention to the spiritual disciplines that are the foundations of martial arts. What you rave on about, like a juvenule tantrum, is no more than a jongmaster graffitti , on a noble mind/body discipline.

              Get Help jongmaster!....you are a wasted talent.

              Your toxic disability in discipline over your own mind...will catch up with you...unless you submit to self- respect.

            • Posted By: Fortunate Fox @ 06/14/2009 5:32:02 PM

              Oh geez, you're most likely a pimply faced 16 year old flippin' burgers at MickyD's. No real man drones on with this kind of nonsense.

              You might be willing to have sex with us? LMAO junior!

            • Posted By: james ballard @ 06/14/2009 12:06:06 PM

              ...boy they's sum meeannn vemons out chere in sybour spaace...jest who is yunses call'in aa mooronn, huh ? And wid all them thar pieces 'o paper, Y ya'll wast'in a yer tyme 'round chere anyhowz whichaway, Huh, tell me Ms Moorron, fess up !!

            • Posted By: ppokerface @ 06/14/2009 11:58:08 AM

              Jesus christ, will you people stop comparing your accomplishments, this is dumb.

            • Posted By: perfectsplit @ 06/14/2009 8:46:58 AM

              "BTY,Most would consider my martial arts skills in the top 2% of the martial artists in the USA."
              If you really believe that, then you should be on The Ultimate Fighter. 'Most' is a generic term that anybody can use.

              "I assume you have no idea what your forms mean. If I asked you what you were doing in the Katas (Hyungs) you would no clue or completely misunderstand what you're doing."
              I know what you're doing in the katas. You're eating up class time so the instructor can bill you. It is all a time-filler. Sorry jongmaster, but katas do not improve combat proficiency. In all the 3 elite styles on MMA(Muay Thai, Wrestling, BJJ), there are no katas. Nobody does katas on The Ultimate Fighter.

          • Posted By: Fortunate Fox @ 06/14/2009 5:29:41 PM

            Wow Superman, do you fly too? lol

          • Posted By: hathaway55 @ 06/14/2009 4:51:36 AM

            If you really had all of those accomplishments you wouldn't feel the need to bring them up to people who don't know you.

            Good luck finding someone who wants you for more than your money. If you're dirt poor, you can always get tail from animals other than humans in other countries (where it's legal). You cave man you ;)

          • Posted By: stargazer22 @ 06/08/2009 12:40:30 PM

            Love you for that horngold:)))

        • Posted By: h_mcclintoc @ 06/14/2009 12:04:40 PM

          I'm fairly sure you're a poorly closeted gay man. Go find some man-holes, my dear. That is, after you finish reading up on bridal fashions.

        • Posted By: I oculd have been Gladys @ 06/14/2009 10:36:51 AM

          Your vernacular suggests otherwise. My guess a high-school or community college nonathletic and unpopular kid, with confused sexual identity trolling around reading women's fashion articles.

    • Posted By: JohnJJJ @ 06/14/2009 2:20:08 PM

      jongmaster...a FREAK!
      Hey dood...you need to publish a book about yourself...the market for a freak show is ready for you...
      Doooo it ....Dooo it NOW!...Maybe Arnold S. might have pity on and give you a character role. Add this to your so called "accomplishments".

      Obviously you are just an average failure in Physics, despite a retail salespitch .."i have a degree...", Wow! really? As a failed mini graduate, if you got that far, you should have disclosed, as anyone with any degree knows, that anything less than a PhD, in science makes for a desk job, outside hands on science.

      Given your sexual exploits jongmaster, the virus pathogens are already mutations inside you. If you got past grade school in probability math, do some logical calculations (exponentials) on HERPES...with strains like HHV6...and other mutagenic varients . These little nasties may not have symptoms on you in the short term. Over time, they search out your weakest tissues, and set up colonies that trigger metabolic pathways to the BIG "C". Your ideal immune system has already been trashed. Whatever is still standing has little to do with you...thank your parents for the genetics they gave you...and brag to them that their grandchildren cannot get the same start in life, because you have narcissism growing in your mind.

      Your zip respect for the spiritual side of Kung Fu, makes you a perfect candidate for mutagenic pathogens to do their evolutionary work and white ant your immune system. Enjoy your diet in narcissism whilst you can!

      But, jongmaster, your sexual escapades, make you the perfect HOST, for passing on your viral "accomplishments", not only to women you exploit. Your chosen "wife", will also be a victim of your mutated herpes. There is one called " CYTOMEGALOVIRUS", which is far from being cured, but its virility, unlike yours, has Google information. Check it out jongmaster...assuming you are semi-literate.

      At least disclose this downside to your "accomplishments" on your first date with a prospective "wife".

      Of course your mutated herpes strains, may also be passed on to your offspring....either through damaged, jongmaster, chromosomes in your sperm, or.....after your wife tells you she is pregnant, you may go into denial when complications arise when you child is growing in her womb, jongmaster.

      The HERPES viruses have YOU already under their control, jongmaster...who knows, about your future jongmaster...if its as average as your "Physics", then Hep C, with its dozesn of strains, is only a probability away to join the HERPES you already have welcomed as HOST.

      Your dysfunctional mind, jongmaster, has yet to work out that a logical condition of being civilized is to treat people with respect... A person is a human being FIRST:...their gender ,age, race, height, weights, are secondary....A male or female, is a person first! Is the algebra here not to difficult fo

      • Posted By: Macy K @ 06/14/2009 3:47:55 PM

        Judging by your post, I wouldn't describe you as "smarter"! Take away women's rights? Treat them like property? No wonder your 'friend' hasn't been able to get married.

        Wake up and smell the 21st century coffee!!!!!!! There are many people like you who are disillusioned about their relationships, if you want to dignify what you're doing as a relationship, that is. But not everyone feels the way that you do, Keep it in mind, if there's room for it, it seems kind of narrow to me!

    • Posted By: tobadsosad @ 06/14/2009 12:12:00 PM

      you poor, poor thing, you are a very sick person.

    • Posted By: ppokerface @ 06/14/2009 11:56:36 AM

      Why does you friend need to have sex with every women he meets? I'd hope he is first attracted to something other than that. Or maybe he is? and the sex was the issue? Even so, your friend, and you, sound like exactly the kind of men that make everyone else look bad.

    • Posted By: lyssandra @ 06/14/2009 8:31:30 AM

      You have strength all right - strength of the STD! Good luck finding that 101st woman who will accept you as "the one".

      Btw...if your so-called Kung Fu skills and your money are your only claim to fame, then you can keep right on walking, sweetheart, because you're definitely not man enough for me. With that kind of attitude and talk, I can only surmise that you must have not only the biggest male ego out there, but also the smallest d^&k as well! Come find me some night at the shooting range - we can match skills. My gun versus your "guns". I'll assure you there will be no hesitancy on my part and my accuracy is impeccable. I'm 100% certain that I can hit even your pencil d*&k!!

      Btw...the world's population is comprised of 51% females and 49% males. There's your survival of the fittest!!!

      • Posted By: Regulator6 @ 06/14/2009 11:56:28 AM

        O Gawd it's a smelly creature that lives under bridges

      • Posted By: I oculd have been Gladys @ 06/14/2009 10:58:46 AM

        Ladies, he's a pimple-faced struggling with gay issues high-school junior.! He is sooo lonely he is spending his Sunday on a story about the changes in women's bridal fashion!!! It kind of makes me feel sorry for him. I wish he had more friends. He needs a hug.

  • Posted By: theealovely @ 06/14/2009 5:32:44 PM

    I'm a seventeen year old average teen. who however happens to be a christian. I completely concur with the statements made by Antoinet. & how said it is that the purity and bliss of marriage has become that of a worldly act that doesnt even last long, nor does it hold the meaning that marriage once did.
    It breaks my heart to see that people are syaing my generation has no respect for anything & the saddest part is that i agree.
    Our generation has fallen through a depth that will be so hard to get them out of.
    The whole point of marriage is to connect two human beings & create one. one heart, one mind, ONE MARRIAGE. If you got it flaunt it? really? thats where our generation is? just because you have it doesnt mean you fluant it, some people have brains yet i have yet to see many of them 'flaunting it' so where does this line draw?

    As for christianity and religion, you have your opiniones mr. Baw, & here's mine. God is NOT fictional character, he is alive in well in numerous ways. we could discuss them if you like.
    what do you believe mr. baw? the big bang theory? evolution?
    in the beginning..there was a bang...really now?
    & our generation is constantly being told were acting like animals, well if thats where we came from why is it such a big deal?
    The bible was written as stories, testimonies from those who were able to be with Jesus, experience him&his miracles, listen to his stories & be around his love. He had no wife & no son, but yes he was a regular person.
    As for the catholic church, people make mistakes mr.baw & i find it highly immature to take one mans mistake & cast it upon the entire catholic church.

    &if i do say so these brides do look stunning however i perfer the classy look, which they lack.

  • Posted By: phinfan06 @ 06/04/2009 10:03:21 PM

    "It's the ultimate display of freedom and empowerment," ...this line is such a lie. These women don't pose for those pictures or wear sexy wedding gowns because they're empowered. They do it because they have horribly low self esteem and want their husbands to be validate them. They don't use their brains, but their bodies and this type of behavior is setting women back instead of moving them forward. Women who fall for this type of stuff have nothing going for themselves and make women look like brainless bimbos who are desperate to get a man to notice them. This is really sad!

    • Posted By: Dankx @ 06/05/2009 12:11:51 AM

      I agree with you 100% I would not marry a woman like that if my life depended on it. Sleep with them ok but marry them no way in hell

      • Posted By: Vigilance @ 06/05/2009 11:33:37 AM

        So...you'll use them for your own pleasure, but you can't possibly respect them?

        And you want to condemn THEM?

        • Posted By: ukko @ 06/07/2009 7:49:11 PM

          Why are you worried about being "condemned?"

          That would imply that there is some shame involved. Shame and condemnation is SO passe.

          If you dress the part, embrace it! Go ahead, dress like a slut, and when you are treated as such, complain loudly that it's those horrid males who are at fault.

          And give nary a thought for those who dress modestly and are respected by males. Never wonder how THEY command respect. Just scream your feminist screed and wonder why the respect you crave is not forthcoming.

          • Posted By: Fortunate Fox @ 06/14/2009 5:27:50 PM

            Women can't dress as they wish, but it's okay for the guys with a 46 inch gut hanging over a belt cinched up so tight they can't breath? If they were "addressed as such", you'd never hear the end of it.

          • Posted By: lyssandra @ 06/14/2009 8:00:12 AM

            God, let me guess - you're an older male who has a daughter embracing the empowerment of our generation. You look around, see her friends and acquaintances, and run out to buy a case of pills for ED. Go over it, old man!

            • Posted By: hmwallace @ 06/14/2009 3:59:25 PM

              the empowerment of this generation? Seriously? Do you truly believe that is what is being given to our young women?

          • Posted By: Macy K @ 06/14/2009 3:54:19 PM

            Wait a sec, I "scream my feminist creed" and I hardly dress or act the way we've all been arguing about. Don't lump all undignified behavior under the label "Feminism" because that's not true!!!!

            If this is what you think Feminism is, then I suggest you do a bit more research on the topic!

          • Posted By: Vigilance @ 06/08/2009 2:04:54 PM

            I mean, seriously, the arrogance of your post when you don't even know my gender is staggering. THAT'S why I think your attitude is horrendous - you rush to judgement before you even know someone.

          • Posted By: Vigilance @ 06/08/2009 2:03:47 PM

            Actually, I'm a guy.

            I think the fact that you want to judge me as a "whore" when you don't even know my gender suggests that you just like condemning other people and judging them. I personally don't have tremendous problems being respected in my personal life. So, you can go to hell, and take your angry, hostile attitude with you..

        • Posted By: 30yr old male @ 06/14/2009 4:08:51 PM

          you think guys need to respect a woman to sleep with her? wow. how old are you? youve got a lot to learn.

          do you really think guys respect girls that go around half naked? "wow, look at that half naked woman i really respect her." HAHA.

        • Posted By: ukko @ 06/07/2009 7:44:35 PM

          I find it interesting that you liberals are sensitive to being "condemned"...

          Why should you care? Shame, condemnation, those are SO passe.

          I find it ironic that women who dress like sluts are shocked and affronted when they are treated as such.

          Here's a little advice: If you want to be treated with respect, dress the part! Would you go into a job interview dressed like a whore? Then why do you think it doesn't matter how you are dressed on your wedding day?

      • Posted By: LynnC @ 06/05/2009 2:00:17 PM

        And god invented birth control......

    • Posted By: hmwallace @ 06/14/2009 4:00:19 PM

      As a woman myself, I completely agree with you.

    • Posted By: Dankx @ 06/04/2009 11:23:48 PM

      I agree with you 100% I would not marry a woman like this if my life depended on it. Sleep with them ok but marry that would be a cold day in hell

      • Posted By: lovedeedee @ 06/08/2009 8:02:26 AM

        You, sound so backward... I would not marry a man like you, either !

  • Posted By: JBJumper @ 06/14/2009 5:27:41 PM

    So...what about the whole hippie generation and "free love" women were much more likely to give up the goods then. What gives you the right to label my generation? What gives you the right to judge us? Have you ever considered the fact that if you had these technologies out when you were our ages that you wouldn't do the same thing too? Plus, there is only a small percentage of people in my generation actually do this, you are making it seem like everyone does it. Also, a lot of blame has to be out on the parents. It???s the parents responsibility to control and form their children. If the parents don???t curb their child???s directions, can the children really be blamed for the parent???s mistakes? In fact most of these problem stem from you generation???s inability to control their children, and if you really look at the course of events, you will find it has all been gradual and not as sudden as you make it out to be. Congratulations, another misrepresentation by today???s liberally biased media.

  • Posted By: JBJumper @ 06/14/2009 5:26:44 PM

    So...what about the whole hippie generation and "free love" women were much more likely to give up the goods then. What gives you the right to label my generation? What gives you the right to judge us? Have you ever considered the fact that if you had these technologies out when you were our ages that you wouldn't do the same thing too? Plus, there is only a small percentage of people in my generation actually do this, you are making it seem like everyone does it. Also, a lot of blame has to be out on the parents. It???s the parents responsibility to control and form their children. If the parents don???t curb their child???s directions, can the children really be blamed for the parent???s mistakes? In fact most of these problem stem from you generation???s inability to control their children, and if you really look at the course of events, you will find it has all been gradual and not as sudden as you make it out to be. Congratulations, another misrepresentation by today???s liberally biased media.

  • Posted By: rhyme&reason @ 06/14/2009 5:16:44 PM

    "Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone." Ring any bells?

    Maybe you do see some aspect of truth that some others do not see from where they are standing. The same is likely true from the other side. When Jesus saw an opportunity to show people an aspect of truth that it seemed to him they were not seeing, did he bash them over the head with it? Sure, he got angry and lost his temper in the temple turned market place ??? he was human ??? an important part of his role and impact. He felt frustration and expressed it at times ??? and consistently returned to really making damn good sense. Dropping frustration, judgement and the like. Embracing the "least among us," whom ever we deem that to be at any given point.

    The article here describes some trends in the bridal industry. It has been stoned to death. The stoners have been stoned to death for the stoning. and on goes the cycle. We do our best to understand what love really is and is about in this life. We learn and change and grow in response to that understanding overtime. Happiness, a sense of peace and connection with the presence of ultimate joy and grace in our lives - these are clear indicators for us in navigating the choices of our lives. I don't really know what all the rest of these comments are about. Anger, projection, retaliation, venting, instigation, righteous indignation on one side, or the other, or the other or from where ever anyone is coming from... all of us just trying to suss out what is really important in being a good person. I don't know. I don't know why that would be something to fight about, but I do know that when a certain nerve gets hit in me - I feel charged and ready to slap right back with a bit of my own perspective.

    Still, best I can do is make choices and changes in myself and offer my perspective in helpful and supportive ways for what benefit others might find in it. And in the end, even when I'm so charged about something I feel totally passionate about "righting a wrong" and therefore cannot seem to find anything but attacking words to lash out with - when you want to bend down to pick up that stone to hurl at the wrong-doers... that's when there's a test for you in determining what you do with it.

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