And what if you don't have any testimonials? Does that mean you're unloved, unwanted or unfriendable? That you couldn't even create a pseudonym Gmail account for your mom to write one anonymously? Not to mention that if I asked any of my mates for a recommendation, they'd demand to see my date card. There would be no stopping them from nosing through all my information and "reminding" me that I'm not quite 5 feet 10 and that I do not, and will never, look like Marilyn Monroe. Friends love you for exactly who you are. Dates love you for who they think you might be. In between those two facts is an ocean of embarrassment.

I know I sound like an old woman but for goodness sake, show a little digital compassion. Can't you see that Zoosk has added a whole level of honesty to the search for love? Kids today seem to want to remove all the double-dealing from dating. They'll never catch a spouse that way. It was that Marilyn Monroe lie that got me a husband. Except, wait. It wasn't. The fact is—our first date was so disastrous (involving locksmiths and people (me) falling off barstools that I assumed I'd never see him again so I stopped playing the game and was myself. I even sang out loud and off-key to the Hall & Oates song that I played on the jukebox with his money.

Had my friends been there, all they would have been able to say was: "Yup, that's Raina. Love her or leave her." And oddly, he chose to love me. I'm glad, but if I had to do it all over again, I probably would still play the mysterious jazz-loving vegetarian. Can't help it. I'm a Gen Xer – stuck between dinner-dating boomers and the "let's just hang" millennials. But in a world where To Catch a Predator still catches potential predators despite having been on TV for 2 million years, I'd have to admit that an added layer of transparency online might not be such a bad thing. And I want my son growing up to think that you don't have to lie to get girls.

So maybe Zoosk isn't such a bad idea for the young people. Why shouldn't a match get to know not only what you look like but what your friends think about your profile picture? (My skin shrinks at the thought but hey, I guess I could get used to it.) Plus Zoosk does give you some privacy—interested suitors can't see your pages unless you give them permission. So you can keep playing Facebook's Sorority Life for hours even though you wrote on your date card that you find that stuff soooo childish.

© 2009