The Write Way to Stay Connected

If students in writing classes are eager to share their hopes and dreams with teachers, imagine how eager they are to share them with those they love. Many students do just that, sharing what they've written for class with their parents or mentors, who are often encouraging and supportive. Using a few simple approaches, parents—who are, after all, their children's first and most significant teachers—can encourage their children to enter into a "written dialogue" with them similar to the one they share with their teachers.

Below are just a few examples of the kinds of exercises that elicit illuminating responses from students. They work best if parents and students both attempt to do them, and if participants are encouraged not to worry too much about spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

• Write a self-portrait detailing what you see when you look in the mirror.
• Compare yourself to something ("I am like … " or "I am … ") using concrete images rather than abstract ideas.
• If a stranger were to see you walking down the street, what is the first thing he or she would notice about you?
• If you were to write the story of your childhood, what would be one of its most significant moments?
• What do you believe in absolutely, without doubt or hesitation?
• What things terrify you? What things make you laugh or bring you joy?
• How would you define success?
• If you could spend the rest of your life doing anything, what would it be? Forget about the pressure to make money, and just think about what you would most like to do with the rest of your life. Describe yourself living that life. Who are you as you live it?

Other exercises can involve writing collaborative biographies of each other, or writing reviews of each other's favorite movies. For a parent, these written dialogues offer a way to become better acquainted with a son's or daughter's unique voice and vision—a way of knowing who they are. However much it may cost us, we must make every effort to communicate with young people. We have so much to lose if we don't.

Roy is an Alumni Distinguished Professor at Virginia Tech. Her latest book is No Right to Remain Silent: The Tragedy at Virginia Tech, published by Harmony Books.

© 2009