This piece could have been titled, "The Mook at Thirty." That punky video-game-obsessed, smart-a$$ dork next door finally, ahem, grew up. He turned in his Gameboy and subscription to Maxim for an Xbox and a subscription to Adult Friend Finder. He resents anyone who he thinks might be better than him, and, let's face it, pretty much anyone might be better than him. Heck, the guy who collects his trash every Tuesday makes more money, has a health plan, and regular sex with his wife. The Mook-***-beta male always has his equally self-conscious buddies and a 'Swordfish' DVD to keep him company. When that fails, he can always retreat into a 36-hour 'World-of-Warcraft'-and-Chili-Cheese-Frito bender to take the pain away. In the end, though, he's a heckuva guy, and he can relate the cultural significance of any situation as it relates to 'Seinfeld.'

Al Gore as a beta male? You're confusing public persona with social status. There are no beta males in the Senate. Even the women in the Senate are alpha males.