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‘Try to Not Worry’

In an ongoing series, NEWSWEEK publishes letters and e-mails from fallen U.S. troops in Iraq to loved ones and friends back home. The following are unedited excerpts from correspondence provided by families of the deceased.

Newsweek Web Exclusive
Updated: 5:55 PM ET Aug 21, 2007

Marine Sgt. Michael Adam (Sport) Marzano
Feb. 7, 2005

Mom,
Hi How R U doing? I really enjoyed our conversation last night. Please don't worry too much about me I'll be fine. The Marines I'm with I have a lot of trust and faith in. They will take care of me as much as I'll take care of them. I know you said you don't have a good feeling about this. I think that's just because it is normal for you to worry about me or anyone you love as much as I know you love me! But please try to not worry so much! I love you too much not to come home to see you. I'll be back and we can go skiing or whatever. I'm really looking forward to seeing you in Vegas. Do you think there's any way Mariah and Nicky could miss school to come up? I understand if they can't. Let Mariah and Nicky know I said I love!!! them so much and miss spending time with them. Tell Nicky he's a booger haha! It's funny 2 yrs ago I barely knew them and now I'm so attached to them I can't imagine not knowing them now. When I get home I want to take them somewhere Disney, Sea World, or anyplace. I can't wait till we can drive to class together. Tell Mark I enjoyed our talk as well. And respect him. Tell him he's a good dad, Grandpa to Nicky and Mariah. Tell him I also think he's been a good step dad to me and [I] enjoy our conversations. Thank you mom for taking care of my vehicles and looking after Angel. Keep and eye on Nic and tell him I love him. Let him know I appreciate him taking care of the apartment and animals. I know I told you this but Nic has been the best roommate I've had and I didn't expect us to get as close and along as we did. Tell him I miss spending time with him watching movies/video games or just the time that we would just run errands and hang out. Tell him I'm proud of him trying to turn his life around and he should be proud of whatever he's doing. He is really trying to do better and I'm sure you noticed I know I have. Mom I know you don't believe in this war but try to understand my views of it and that I believe I'm doing the right thing. I know you're proud of me no matter what so just be proud of this as well. I know you are. Remember when I joined [the Marine Corps] how mad you were and how proud you are now. I'm so glad that you're proud of me. I truly love this country and being a Marine. Well I'm going to go for now.
I love you
Michael
(sport)
ps. I like Spike as well. I hope he doesn't end up in the desert haha!

Marzano, 28, of Greenville, Pa., was killed May 7, 2005.

Marine Sgt. Nicholas S. Nolte
July 16, 2004 (a postcard to his 3-year-old daughter Alanna)

Hi Sweety,
Daddy just wanted you to know that I love you and that I'm thinking of you all of the time. I bet you're growing up so fast. I can't wait to give you a big hug and kiss when I get back.
Love, Daddy

Aug. 17, 2004 (postcard)
Hello Princess,
Daddy misses you so much. I can't wait to come home and make cookies with you. I'm sending hugs and kisses.
Love, Daddy

Nolte, 25, of Falls City, Neb., was killed on Nov. 24, 2004.

Marine Lance Cpl. Eric Freeman
Feb. 16, 2004

I see myself standing at the edge of a precipice, about to take the plunge. In 24 hours I'll be on a plane, leaving Okinawa and all the amenities we always take for granted. Soon I'll return to "The Land of Squalor" as the Sgt. Major puts it. Back to Iraq. I guess my Karma has some more debt to repay.

I suppose this must be what it feels like to walk the 'green mile'. I've known it was coming since November, but it's just now hitting home. I'm about to spend almost twice as long in Iraq as I did my first trip and that first trip was the most miserable time of my life. So this will be at least twice as bad as the worst time of my life. Hot damn, I love this job.

Freeman, 20, of Thousand Oaks, Calif., was killed on Jan. 3, 2005, in a car accident in the United States while on duty en route to his base for his third deployment to Iraq.

Marine Lance Cpl. Drew M. Uhles
Aug. 28, 2004

Dear Mom and Dad,
Hey. So what's going on at home? Nothing much here. All we do is sleep around here. It's August 27th, and the rest of the unit should fly in around the 29th, so we've got a couple of days. We're in Al Asad, if you want to check your map on the wall. I think it's near Baghdad but I'm not sure. As soon as the unit gets here, we start our trip to Housaba and Al Quaim via helicopters.
We landed here on the 26th @ about 3:30 am. , so it was still dark. But even then, we stepped off the plane and knew we were here. The sounds, the smell, and the sandy dirt still felt the same. The chow hall here is unbelievable. We've got tile flooring, A/C and cable TV. Every morning we eat breakfast at about 5:30 am and there's always a baseball or football game going on. And get this, the games are live. So a baseball game playing at 5:30pm in the states live is playing at 5:30 am here, live only it's a different day here.

Anyways, me and another guy have to take our GPS's to the computer nerds today to get Iraqi maps and grids downloaded in them. After that we'll probably hit the showers. The showers are better than last time, but we have to take "Navy Showers." Dad, you should know what those are. If not, ask Melissa, she'll know.

Before I forget, I was wondering if you guys had a pocket bible. I forgot mine. If not, I may have one in my glove compartment. And if the rest of the church ever wants to straighten out, we could use some baby wipes already. If not, we'll find some somewhere…

Uhles, 20, of Du Quoin, Ill., was killed Sept. 15, 2004, in Al Anbar Province.

Army Staff Sgt. Joshua R. Hanson
July 26, 2006 (e-mail to girlfriend)

Hey Angel how are you doing brown eyes? well just to let you know in case rumors reach you down there i am ok but we had a really bad day yesterday. we were on a patrol and dougs truck got hit with a road side bomb it blew the front end of their truck off. they all got out but then a second blast went off right in front of my truck and one of dougs guys was right there it was the scariest thing i have ever seen.this was for sure the worst day of my life. this kid was only 21 and he lost his leg but at least we got him on a helicopter and he is alive. mike is ok to he didnt get hurt but luke was his roommate and friend he was all of our friend. a vouple of other guys had minor injuries but everyone else is ok it was so carzy it was so unreal like it was not happening everything was fine and then everything just went to s--- and there is nothing we could do. we just got him in my truck and got him to the landing zone so they could med vac him. …  it shook us all up but i think all of our guys are going to be ok. they gave us today off and put us on towers for acouple of days before we go back out. I just want to frind these f---ers but so far no one in town is saying anything they dont know anything. sorry to unload on you. you dont really need to hear about all this. I Love you Angel you mean so much to me I just want you to know that no matter what happens. I will try to call you sometime soon ok.
Love
Josh

Hanson, 27, of Pelican Rapids, Mich., was killed Aug. 30, 2006.

Marine Lance Cpl. Jonathan Collins
May 4, 2004 (from journal)

Day 64
We awoke last night to the voice of Sgt. Falkner saying "get up put your s--- on + stand by your rack." It was 4:00am we all had only expected the worst. We had just gotten off guard at 1800 +wasn't supposed to do anything until noon the next day. However at 2300 hours 2 scout swimmers…never made it to the island they were swimming to. A massive man hunt last all night and all day yesterday. We found 1 boonie and a chem. Light. We're leaving at noon to start the search again. Although at this point they have most likely passed on we're still hopeful. It's hard to see this happen. The worst part is they're MIA. We have no idea what happened to them they could be POW's or stuck at the bottom of a river. The CO said we will continue searching until they are found. They'll never see home again, no more x-mas, easters, summers, fun times, women, all that was gone in a second. I hate seeing or thinking about death in this place. Just keep on keeping on right? Till tomorrow.

Collins, 19, of Crystal Lake, Ill., was killed on Aug. 8, 2004.

Army Spc. Joseph A. Graves
Nov. 20, 2005 (e-mail to wife)

IM SORRY THAT IT HAS BEEN SOO LONG SINCE I HAVE WROTE.   BUT I WAS OUT AT A RANGE THAT POPPED UP LAST MINUTE.   SO I DIDNT HAVE A CHANCE TO TELL U.  THINGS HERE ARE GOING GOOD I GUESS.   WE LEAVE SOON TO GO UP NORTH AND I WAS JUST TOLD THAT WE WILL HAVE INTERNET IN OUR ROOMS FOR ABOUT 30 A MONTH.   SO I NEED A COMPUTER.   I WAS STILL THINKING OF GETTING A NEW ONE AND BEFORE I LEAVE TO COME HOME SEND IT TO U SO U CAN SEND IT IN FOR MAINTENCE SINCE IT WILL BE UNDER WARENTY.   I MISS U SO MUCH AND EVERYDAY IT HURTS SOO BAD.   IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO NO THAT U R DEALING WITH IT SO WELL.  IT MAKES IT THAT MUCH EASIER TO BE HERE.   ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO HOME AND BE WITH U.   AT LEAST IT FEELS LIKE THE TIME IS GOING BY SOMWHAT FAST.   I CANT BELIEVE THAT IT HAS BEEN 2 SUNDAYS ALREADY.   THAT IS A GOOD THING.   I DONT WANT U TO NOT BUY FOOD U NEED THAT AND I DONT WANT U TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.  IT IS MORE INPORTENT FOR U TO SERVIVE THEN IT IS FOR ME OR US TO BUY LITTLE THINGS.  EVERYTHING I NEED IS GOING TO BE HERE.   ABOUT THE ONLY THING THAT I WANT U TO START TO SEND IS MY OTHER UNIFORMS.  SOME SOAP, TOOTHPASTE, THAT SORT OF THING BECAUSE I WAS TOLD THAT THE PX UP THERE DOESNT REALLY HAVE ANYTHING.   AND THAT IS ALL THAT I WILL REALLY NEED.   I LOVE U SOO MUCH. I PROMISE THAT WHEN I GET BACK WE WILL GO ALL OUT ON CHRISTMAS, IT WILL BE FUN AND IT WILL BE A GREAT MEMORY.I LOVE U AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE U.

Grave, 21, of Discovery Bay, Calif., was killed July 25, 2006.

Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Gary T. Rovinski

Rovinski, 44, of Mountain Top, Pa., was killed June 5, 2006.

URL: http://www.newsweek.com/id/35861