A Guide for Caregivers

Legal Issues
At a minimum, a caregiver should have a document called durable power of attorney, which gives you authority to make legal decisions when your parent becomes incapacitated or incompetent. These legal decisions can involve bank accounts, real estate and other personal matters. The durable power of attorney is extremely important for both the parent and adult child, explains Mark Shalloway, president of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. "Financial, legal and other everyday routine decisions need to be made even if a parent suffers a catastrophic event or becomes impaired," says Shalloway. "This is a simple document that reduces hassles with banks, doctors, anyone the parent did business with." Though there are no hearings necessary to set up the durable power of attorney, the person granted the power has a fiduciary duty not to take advantage of the situation. "By law, people must act in good faith," says Shalloway. "There can be some very real legal consequences if someone sells off assets for their own use." If you don't have a durable power of attorney, and if your parent becomes incompetent, you'll need to be appointed guardian by the court, which is "expensive and time-consuming," and removes all legal rights of an older person, says Shalloway.

Also, make sure your parents have wills. This simple document names a person who will manage the estate upon your parents' deaths and the beneficiaries of the estate. If a person dies without a will in place, state "intestacy" statutes will determine who gets the property. Keep all legal documents, including the deed to the house, life-insurance policies and other important papers, in one place, such as a safe-deposit box. If your parents have a safe-deposit box, make sure that you are a signer.

Housing
Ask any older person where he or she wants to live and chances are good they'll say they want to stay in their own homes. But where Mom and Dad eventually live will more than likely be determined by their health, available resources and caregiver's needs. If a parent is healthy and mobile, one option is to make an existing home safer by reducing fall risks. Simple improvements can include adding grab bars in the shower and getting rid of throw rugs. Adult children can also help their parents by arranging for someone to prepare meals and do light housekeeping or to assist with more-personal tasks, such as dressing and bathing. Your local Area Agency on Aging, a governmental program that provides a network of elder services throughout the United States, can help you find a qualified home health-care outfit or individual, as well as provide tips and services on making homes more senior-friendly. But no matter what you do, it's important that your parent be comfortable with the person or persons providing care. So a meet-and-greet between your parents and their aides is essential. And, of course, get references.

When a parent wants to leave a home and is still healthy, there are many options available, including independent senior communities, continuing-care retirement communities and assisted-living facilities. Independent senior communities usually feature private apartments with senior-friendly designs. Some may offer 24-hour emergency-call services, group outings, social activities and other amenities.

The continuing-care retirement model offers numerous services that allows people to stay in place, even if their needs change. Generally, these facilities provide services that include housekeeping, emergency help, personal care and social activities. According to the American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging (AAHSA), these continuing-care communities differ from other senior-housing options in that they agree under contract to provide residents with housing and services for life. They do require a one-time entrance fee and monthly payments that vary by region and by the type of housing and services needed. And some groups do operate on a rental basis.

For folks who need daily help with bathing or dressing, assisted-living residences are another option. These facilities can be part of a retirement community or nursing home. Most offer single rooms, but some offer suites or apartments, according to the AAHSA.