'I'm Not Praying for God to Save Me'

Are you clear to say pretty much what you want—
Because of the cancer?

Yeah.
In the first hours after the diagnosis, the campaign is probably glad there was no reporter around. Because I was feeling like, all right, I am completely free to say whatever I want.

What do you say to the Rush Limbaughs of the world who have the nerve to judge how you should cope with your disease?
Words don't bother me. If John had pulled out of the race, they would have said, "Oh, he was failing in this race and this was just an excuse to get out." This is a no-win situation with those folks, and you just have to accept it. But what you hate is that other people might listen and say, "Oh, that's right, it's our job to tell them what is right." There's going to be a day before each of us die, and you have to think a little bit about how you want that day filled. Maybe when you're doing that judging thing, think about how you want the day before you die to look. I want that to be a productive day about which I am enormously proud, as opposed to a day where I had the covers pulled up over my head. That's unbelievably important to me. And if somebody is judging me, and doesn't hear me say that, maybe it's partly my fault for not saying it clearly and maybe it's their fault for not thinking about it.

Is some of the criticism about what you and John said about giving the kids "wings" just old "Mommy Wars" stuff?
Having lost a child, I promise you that making certain that I do not have regrets when we finally say goodbye is really important to me. I think the hardest question—and this, I think, we haven't adequately explained to people—is the children. I think we've pretty much settled on what it is we're going to do. I think the children will finish out the school year and then, in the fall, they'll travel with us. We will home-school them. We'll employ a tutor to travel with us to help teach them. I hope it will be an extraordinary experience for them.

If you go to doctors and they say, "Look, there's this drug that's in clinical trials right now. It's no guarantees. We have no long-term data on it. It is going to make you sick, your hair is going to fall out," are you going to do it?
Yes. I'm going to do it. I have an obligation to try to live as long as I can for my family. So if I campaign less or if I campaign with a wig, then I'll do those things.

© 2007