IRAQ

Love and War

What's striking about this conflict is not that Americans and Iraqis have met on the battlefield and fallen in love and married. It's that so few have. In their stories lies the sad, tortured tale of the war itself.

By Christopher Dickey and Jessica Ramirez | NEWSWEEK

Oct 22, 2007 Issue

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Posted By: iraq @ 02/27/2008 4:24:20 PM

Comment: First of all I think this americans that are out there - military and contractors that fall in love with these iraq girls, yes girls. It seems they are a little young for these men. They should be ashamed of themselves seeking someone so young and converting to muslims just to please their brides. If these are true love stories why doesn't the bride convert to the man's religion if they really love them. Therefore, it looks like these women just want to marry american men to use them for the own freedom. Guys wake up. Do you see what they are doing to you, they just want to become us citizens. Dummies have them covert to your religion i am sure not even your charm will make that happen.
- Posted By: jjjfffrrr @ 04/28/2008 00:10:25
  
  Comment: I am a woman and fell in love with an Iraqi man. I agree to a few bellow replies. I had a mission and had no intentions, no desire, no interests other than my mission. What I learned and what I thought I knew are complete halluncinations of each other. With a fixed strongarm to my country and what was happening to me, I did not let my guard down but opened my mind to education from fact, fiction, and misconseptions. I am not with him but he knows I will love him forever and he knows how much we have changed each others lives.
Posted By: Aztec @ 12/11/2007 10:08:04 PM

Comment: Enter Your Comment
Posted By: citizenoftheworld @ 11/14/2007 1:59:33 PM

Comment: I don't think that mentioning this sad love story between an Iraqi woman and an american man is more or less sad than a story of two americans and their love. I don't think it was meant to take attention away from other tragic stories. It was meant as a source of information about another type of love that doesn't get covered as much in the media. Why would the situation be more sad if the two were American? That's the whole point of the article- that love exists even in times of war between HUMANS.
Posted By: lorielipstraw @ 10/30/2007 7:45:51 AM

Comment: In all of your mention of errors in grammer, punctuation, spelling, military protocol and the tradgic ending to the love story between an American Major and his Iraqi wife, no mention was made of the young Sgt. who died in the vehicle with Maj. Ahearn. He also had a love story. He was in love with a beautiful American nursing student. Their chance of building a life together was also cut short. Guess that's not as interesting since they were both Americans who worshiped God. Now that's sad!
Posted By: lorielipstraw @ 10/30/2007 7:31:57 AM

Comment: In all of your mention of errors in grammer and uniform and this love story ending in tragedy, there was no mention of the young Sgt. who died in the same vehicle as Maj. Ahearn. There was a love in his life as well. Only he was in love with a beautiful young American nursing student. Their love was cut short before they had a chance to make any kind of life together. Guess that's not interesting enough since they were both Americans who worshiped God. Now that's sad!
Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 11:14:07 PM

Comment: One does not "win" military medals, awards and/or decorations; one earns them, especially in combat. Sportng events, spelling bees, baking contests, sure, but not in the armed services. In fututre writings, please correct this gross insult to the countless recipients.
- Posted By: lj8576 @ 10/30/2007 02:01:21
  
  Comment: Sportng events, fututre writings.
  If you are going to critique someone please use spell check MORON
Posted By: DavGMZ67 @ 10/27/2007 3:30:00 PM

Comment: They look great. That's what Im talking about.....That picture is the best news I have heard in almost four years.... It says 1001 arabian words to me."Leaders of the World,Tear down your walls!!!, and destroy your Bombs!!!!". "Let our Children Go!!!!"
Posted By: DavGMZ67 @ 10/27/2007 3:27:05 PM

Comment: They look great. That's what Im talking about.....Thats the best news I have heard in almost for years.... "Leaders of the World,Tear down your walls!!!, and destroy your Bombs!!!!"
- Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:44:50
  
  Comment: 1) The use of multiple periods to separate two sentences is incorrect.
  2) There exists proper punctuation that CAN achieve the desired effect here, but only when used properly. (Investigate the 'ellipsis.')
  3) The contraction for 'that is' should have been written with an apostrophe before the letter 's.'
  4) There's a differnece between the word 'for' and the number 'four.'
  5) A comma is ALWAYS followed by a space. There are NO exceptions.
  6) Exclamation marks end a sentence, they do not appear in the middle of a sentence. Nor can they be combined with any other punctuation, with the exception of closing quotationmarks and/or closing parenthesis.
  7) The quotation marks that you've placed in your comments should have started before the word 'Tear' and not before the word 'Leaders.'
  
  Please invest in crucial proofreading prior to exposing your lack of knowledge to the world.
  Thank you.
Posted By: Navysnipe @ 10/27/2007 1:29:43 PM

Comment: A person is an intelligent being capable of rational thought and emotion. People are panicky, dumb animals prone to mob mentality (even worse when it's religiously motivated).
These individuals are lucky to have found love, but it's rediculous to think this "love" principle can be applied to foreign policy and politics.
Everyone should admire these individuals for overcoming the preconcieved notions and perceptions. But we're not likely to see ambassadors falling in love with national representatives and forming peace treaties between religious ideals at the reception.
- Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:34:17
  
  Comment: Am I the only one who found that the first two sentences of this comment contradict each other?
Posted By: cetacia @ 10/27/2007 10:05:23 AM

Comment: This article is a good example of why peace is so hard to negotiate in Iraq. Its the state of mind of my way "Islam" or the highway. I am sorry to see that the Americans capitulated to win their prize. Rather disturbing article actually.
- Posted By: citizenoftheworld @ 11/14/2007 14:02:12
  
  Comment: you've obviously missed the point of the article
Posted By: Shahabeddin_Karandish @ 10/27/2007 9:31:14 AM

Comment: It shows the power of love.
All the nations can live in peace. Just love is fact. This story is real face of human. Politicians must read this story.
STOP WAR.
BEGIN LOVE.
Posted By: vargas @ 10/26/2007 11:53:45 AM

Comment: This is a beautiful story of love between men and women who have nothing to cling onto in this world other than each other. I found it very eye-opening to the reality of the darkness and complexity of the Middle East, but the beauty that can be found if we continue to struggle for peace and a free society. I am very impressed by all of the couples mentioned in the article.
Posted By: kwh13 @ 10/26/2007 8:56:50 AM

Comment: Why was this article even written? The moron reporters who put this together apparently have never been to Iraq or they would know that the reason that there are not these WW2 romances sweeping each other off your feet situations is that 1. Americans are required to live on the base and liberty is not granted to anyone just to go out in the town and hang around the cafe. Why? Because they will kidnap you and cut your freaking head off. 2. A male SPEAKING with an female of child bearing age, depending what part of the country you are in and what tribe you are dealing with could result in the woman being stoned to death by her family because of the great DISHONOR she has brought upon herself and her family. 3. THEY DONT SPEAK ENGLISH AND WE DONT SPEAK ARABIC. 4. This is a bit of an attempt at humor but there is little to no alcohol over there. Admit it - half of us would have never been concieved if not for the assistance of a few cocktails consumed by our parents.
Posted By: vera562 @ 10/25/2007 5:41:43 PM

Comment: This war needs to end, we are fighting for nothing. Everything was lie by the poor excuse of a president names Bush.
Posted By: abaybay @ 10/24/2007 3:07:06 PM

Comment: i think that the war is a waste of time because we don't need to be fighting all we have to be doing is talking it out like reall people would but instead we're like like little kids and fightnig over something that is plenty
- Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:31:54
  
  Comment: Amazing! All that hyperbole and not ONCE did you use punctuation. Furthermore, your failure to proofread your own work has left glaring misspellings. It's good to see that your stellar education has paid off so well.
Posted By: KeyGuy @ 10/23/2007 8:46:03 PM

Comment: Most of the leading magazines like Newsweek have a policy of awarding a free subscription for one year to anyone who finds a significant error that has gotten past their editors. If you find an error on the cover you might even be hired to help the editors. On the cover of your 22 Oct magazine, the Army Lieutenant Colonel (he's a Doc so we'll have to give him some slack) on the cover is wearing his Army Expeditionary ribbon backwards. Of the red, white, and blue stripes in the center, the red goes toward the shoulder, not toward the center. I was in the Army for 30 years and had 6 tours in combat so I and the men I served with know the difference. Please send word the the LTC so he can square away his uniform and please send my 12 month subscription to the ER Waiting Room at Womack Army Hospital, Ft. Bragg, NC

Thanks

LTC (Ret) Ted Jordan
- Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:29:40
  
  Comment: Reply to KeyGuy's comment:
  Great comment, Sir, and thank you for spotting that error. As a former Marine, I think it's important for military and journalists alike to know when something's out of order. Now if we can get them to understand that 1) not everyone in the military is a soldier (i.e., sailors, airmen, Marines, coastguardsmen), 2) not every tracked vehicle is a tank, 3) and that our servicemen and women are cut from the same cloth as the general public (we've just been imbued with different training, life experiences and extraordinary challenges), maybe we'll make progress towards understanding each other better.
  
  Sergeant, USMC
  
  (P.S. As for the aforementioned error, naysayers, it DOES make a difference.)
Posted By: innovtions @ 10/23/2007 5:47:57 PM

Comment: This is a delicate topic since it deals with racial issues. I for one am liberal in mixed relationships since I, a hispanic, married an Italian. I have no prejudices whatsoever and I think it's beautiful that two people can learn and relate to each others background.
But when you're an American soldier assigned to an Iraqi battlefield, where terrorism can and does happen almost everyday, it's almost like a slap in the face to America for the trust that is given to them. Personally, I feel that during wartime, all relations, especially intimate, should not happen unless the two parties were already involved before the war.
Women are not just cuddle-cushions. They can be just as "terroristic" as men. Look, if an Iraqi woman can duct-tape explosives to her baby's diaper, then believe me, you can be falling right into a trap. Now one has to wonder if we're losing bodies because some of our soldiers are not paying attention around their surroundings because they're busy daydreaming of a girl they think they love. Or how about a soldier who falls in love to the point that he starts to believe that we're the enemy.
This is in no way intended to be mean and cruel towards our soldiers fighting a dangerous war. It's actually for their own good. Alot of our troops are 18, 19 yrs old and can be easily manipulated. They should really have a strict policy on intimacy during war time.
Posted By: Adheen @ 10/23/2007 7:12:30 AM

Comment: Hi!im really interested with this topic.married or even falling in love with someone that originally from Iraq is actually is not a big deal. Th big deal is that the society's perception and acceptance on it. well, im also having a close relationship with my Iraqi friend. Both of us doing our degree in Political Science. But i feel pity for him for his hardship being in Iraqis. he said that he couldn't even go back to his country for taking the Political sc. course reason. Im also hoping that we shouldn't being too islamphobia as the Iraqis also a human being like us. ~~
Posted By: windsurfing @ 10/20/2007 1:36:25 PM

Comment: I'm posting a comment (I hope my name doesn't show up and instead only my profile name) just to share as I can certainly from several different perspectives identify with this story and many points in the story are right on target. I was in the U.S. Military (Airborne Air Assault Infantry) and later some ROTC in college in the Ranger's Program and have donated much to charities for soldiers and their families. This Newsweek story was the kind of story that I was hoping to find one day. I'm legally through my Sister's marriage and biologically through my immediate next-of-kin related to the Middle East to a family who resides including in Jeddah who associated with the Bin Ladens, and the family (Sunni) my Sister married into also has friends in Iraq. I was appreciative to see one of the comment posts include "treating people with dignity and passion as human beings first can narrow the gap between the different cultures and religions..." From my own personal experience in the U.S. in having been in the military and becoming related to the Middle East, it is a smorgasboard in which I've faced everything you can imagine - right down from people telling me, "how can you sister do that," to "I feel sorry for you," which I get tired of being told "I feel sorry for you," to even on several occasions I've been called a "traiter" for not disowning my Sister and her family. As the article references a "clash of civilations," it certainly makes for an interesting life having been in the military and related to the Middle East where most of my Sister's and next-of-kin's family resides. The hardest part is when children are involved, such as my one year old nephew (he has a Middle Eastern name, and his grandfather was a Christian Minister). I sometimes hear some say, "he's the innocent one in this," when I'm having discussions about my family with more than one person present. I could go on and on, this Newsweek story was an incredible story with some excellent points in pointing out current issues that will continue into the future. I just wanted to place a post thanking the authors for their hard work in the article, and thanking those who wrote comments in relation to the article for the views.
Posted By: windsurfing @ 10/20/2007 1:13:25 PM

Comment: Enter Your Comment
Posted By: windsurfing @ 10/20/2007 1:13:13 PM

Comment: Enter Your Comment
Posted By: zanboore @ 10/16/2007 11:18:41 PM

Comment: I am an Iraqi American , who is been touched by this story. It puts some light on the other side of this conflict, and a very good proof that the two cultures can work together for the common good .Treating people with dignity and passion as human beings first can norrow the gap between the different cultures and religions these individuals have. After the recent successes our men have against AlQaida in Iraq , we might see more good stories like these .Iraqis (mostly in the Sunni areas)are relizing that AlQaida does not have the wisdom nor the vission to Iraq and it's future ,and Wahabisim that breaches terrorisim in the name of protecting the Islamic faith is wrong, and the curropt Saudi royal family wants to redirect the battle between them and AlQaida to the messy and busy Iraqi ground by allowing thier out of touch reliogous leaders and Shieks to issue Fatwas to kill Iraqis especialy Shitte to feed the rift between Iraqi Sunnis and Iraqi shittes and promote an all out civil war, but they will fail and Iraq will stand this gruesome attack.
Posted By: zanboore @ 10/16/2007 10:22:25 PM

Comment: Enter Your Comment
Posted By: zanboore @ 10/16/2007 10:22:10 PM

Comment: Enter Your Comment
Posted By: richalling @ 10/16/2007 4:54:03 PM

Comment: Thank you for the time and effor in putting this story together. It was not until I read it all that I realized the power of the words my beautiful wife, Zena shared with Chris Dickey. Yeah, thats me with her. Regardless of how one feels about this war, love conquers all. Thank you Newsweek for sharing all of our stories you are to be commended for this. LTC Richard Allinger
Posted By: spartan1961 @ 10/16/2007 12:54:04 PM

Comment: Ok, the personal stories are very touching, it is true, and Ok, this does tangentially touch upon our misguided policies in Iraq. But we are threatening military strikes against Iran, and Newsweek puts a love story on the cover? Shouldn't we all be yelling about military strikes "No, not again!" We need to have an open dialogue about who influences our foregn policy and how it gets formed. And if Newsweek had the nerve, it shoud run a cover story on "The Israel Lobby and U.S Foreign Policy." The wikipedia site has a great synopsis of what every American ought to know. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Israel_Lobby_and_U.S._Foreign_Policy Newsweek needs to address this front and center.
- Posted By: Clipper965 @ 10/16/2007 13:13:46
  
  Comment: I think human interest stories are important. The whole other aspect of the war has been covered by all media from all perspectives. KUDOS Newsweek for thinking outside the box
  - Posted By: spartan1961 @ 10/18/2007 16:20:30
    
    Comment: You missed my point. There is another war brewing. The dynamics pushing us toward it have *not* been covered well by the media at all. That is how we got into the Iraq war in the first place. Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is still among the most loved plays of all time. Newsweek's cover this week points out modern Romeo and Juliet stories -- very nice, yes I agree. But there are much more serious things we need to be focusing on about our Mid-East Policies *rignt now.* This is a quote from CNN online: On Monday, U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates reiterated the Bush administration's stance that "all options" must be kept "on the table" in confronting the threats posed by Iran -- a reference to the option of using military action against the long-time U.S. adversary. "We should have no illusions about the nature of this regime or its leaders -- about their designs for their nuclear program, their willingness to live up to their rhetoric, their intentions for Iraq, or their ambitions in the Gulf region," Gates said in a speech to the Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs. ...ok, why is Sec. of State stressing this to the Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs? Answer: because they are one part of an incredibly powerful lobby that unduly influences our foreign policy. Stating this is *not* to be anti-semitic!!! (Please!!!) But it is to be American, and concerned about our troops and our country's best interests FIRST.
Posted By: Clipper965 @ 10/16/2007 11:57:08 AM

Comment: All I can say is this story left a lump in my throat. Stellar reporting by Christopher Dickey and Jessica Ramirez, I wish them the Pulitzer prize. In the so called alternative media run by left wingers there is nothing but negative stories about Iraq, the mainstream media does try to put forth a more balanced report but human interest stories like this in war time seldom get coverage.
Posted By: evansc2 @ 10/15/2007 5:49:06 AM

Comment: I think it's amazing that love can overcome seemingly insurmountable odds against it. It can bridge gaps between culture, religion, and human conflict. If we all followed the true tenets of our respective faiths there would be no war, no hate, no unhappiness and suffering. Stories like those above restore my oft faltering faith in the power of God's love.
- Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:17:15
  
  Comment: Yours is a very insightful and extremely well-written comment. Thank you for posting it!
Posted By: benellylove @ 10/14/2007 10:59:05 PM

Comment: My daughter went to Irak and work with a Dr. from Iraq ,fell in love and married they are now proud parents of a little girl named Nura means light in the sky,I am a proud grandmother of my first granbaby and I very happy she is a doll and we are crazy about her.it is sad that War can bring good times in life.....
Posted By: benellylove @ 10/14/2007 10:56:40 PM

Comment: Enter Your Comment
Posted By: Jessica2121 @ 10/14/2007 9:17:02 PM

Comment: Speaking of some female soldiers, AKA, "Desert Queens" don't forget about how many marriages are ruined by "hush hush" infidelities and fraternizing throughout ranks among all the services. Not to mention, soldiers confined to the base camps come in contact with very few iraqi people.
Posted By: CSM39 @ 10/14/2007 8:12:43 PM

Comment: You have mentioned nothing about the major reason why there are not more "war" brides. This is the first extended major conflict that the U.S. has had where there are many female soliders in base camps. There is not as great a need to seek out Iraqi female companionship when there are so many American female soliders there.

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Posted By: iraq @ 02/27/2008 4:24:20 PM

Posted By: jjjfffrrr @ 04/28/2008 00:10:25

Posted By: Aztec @ 12/11/2007 10:08:04 PM

Posted By: citizenoftheworld @ 11/14/2007 1:59:33 PM

Posted By: lorielipstraw @ 10/30/2007 7:45:51 AM

Posted By: lorielipstraw @ 10/30/2007 7:31:57 AM

Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 11:14:07 PM

Posted By: lj8576 @ 10/30/2007 02:01:21

Posted By: DavGMZ67 @ 10/27/2007 3:30:00 PM

Posted By: DavGMZ67 @ 10/27/2007 3:27:05 PM

Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:44:50

Posted By: Navysnipe @ 10/27/2007 1:29:43 PM

Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:34:17

Posted By: cetacia @ 10/27/2007 10:05:23 AM

Posted By: citizenoftheworld @ 11/14/2007 14:02:12

Posted By: Shahabeddin_Karandish @ 10/27/2007 9:31:14 AM

Posted By: vargas @ 10/26/2007 11:53:45 AM

Posted By: kwh13 @ 10/26/2007 8:56:50 AM

Posted By: vera562 @ 10/25/2007 5:41:43 PM

Posted By: abaybay @ 10/24/2007 3:07:06 PM

Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:31:54

Posted By: KeyGuy @ 10/23/2007 8:46:03 PM

Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:29:40

Posted By: innovtions @ 10/23/2007 5:47:57 PM

Posted By: Adheen @ 10/23/2007 7:12:30 AM

Posted By: windsurfing @ 10/20/2007 1:36:25 PM

Posted By: windsurfing @ 10/20/2007 1:13:25 PM

Posted By: windsurfing @ 10/20/2007 1:13:13 PM

Posted By: zanboore @ 10/16/2007 11:18:41 PM

Posted By: zanboore @ 10/16/2007 10:22:25 PM

Posted By: zanboore @ 10/16/2007 10:22:10 PM

Posted By: richalling @ 10/16/2007 4:54:03 PM

Posted By: spartan1961 @ 10/16/2007 12:54:04 PM

Posted By: Clipper965 @ 10/16/2007 13:13:46

Posted By: spartan1961 @ 10/18/2007 16:20:30

Posted By: Clipper965 @ 10/16/2007 11:57:08 AM

Posted By: evansc2 @ 10/15/2007 5:49:06 AM

Posted By: damon_sandiego @ 10/29/2007 23:17:15

Posted By: benellylove @ 10/14/2007 10:59:05 PM

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