My Turn Online: Leave Kids Alone on the Web

We cannot bear the anxiety of not knowing everything about our children’s whereabouts in the physical world. So our children wander off into cyberspace, killing zombies, talking to strangers and visiting all kinds of Web sites, weird and stupid and sexy. And they know we don’t have the time, attention or expertise to follow them there. The Internet is often the only private place for a child today.

That isn’t to say that parents and administrators should turn a blind eye their children’s online activities, they shouldn’t. To the middle-school principal, I suggested he ask his computer teacher to go online and check out the MySpace pages of all of his students. After all, a middle-school director in Maryland I worked with found that two of his girls had posted photos of themselves in their underwear, and their parents knew nothing about it. We need to be vigilant.

But I’m always torn when people call me for wise counsel about kids and privacy, because roaming around in my head there is still a child who treasures his private adventures. My inner boy is certainly going to shout, “Let them be! Let them take some risks.” The parent in me is going to worry and advise, “Check their Web sites. There are dangers out there. There are pedophiles on the Internet.” And what about the psychologist in me?

I hope my inner psychologist has the courage to remember his own boyhood and to keep reminding parents of how precious a bit of privacy was to them when they were growing up.

Thompson lives in Arlington, Mass

© 2006