Twenty Years Later

I'm 45 and my first husband was killed in a car crash when I was 30. I'm getting married this year to a wonderful 45 year old man who's never been married. Before I met Dean, I wondered if there were any available men. I believe my strong faith helped me survive widowship at such a young age with a 6 year old daughter. I believe my stong faith brought Dean into my life at just the right time. I am blessed. Have faith.

On my 40th birthday (which that year was also Father's Day) my boyfriend woke me up, telling me there was something he wanted me to see on television. At the time there was one local channel that played only ads, so we sat together watching the local ads when the last "ad " came on before it began to cycle through them all again: "Happy Birthday Libby, Will You Marry Me?" "I replied, oh, that's so sweet and then it hit me he had just proposed to me on television! We were married six months later on December 7, 2008 (Yes, the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor-he chose the date, as you can tell he's a big war movie buff and picked a date he wouldn't forget). While I had just about give up on finding my Mr. Right, I had almost chose Mr. Wrong a couple of times but, thank God, they fell through. Marriage after 40-yes, I think I appreciate it more that I would have a few years earlier. We both were really ready (He had been married twice before when younger, big mistakes although we did get to raise his son from 6 years to 18 years, now he's on his own). Oh, this year will be our 12th anniversary and I plan on many, many more (one more small, yet important, item, he is 5 years younger-he doesn't have any trouble keeping up with me!)

I am a 41 year old woman that has been married before and engaged twice after the age of 35. I don't have a problem attracting men. They are all normally the wrong type. Times have changed enormously. I was worried about not being married before 40. I don't know were I got the impression that 40 was over the hill for a woman. It is just the begining of life. My mother is 62 and has a few suiters pursuing her. I think that is has alot to do with your frame of mind. You have to take care of yourself. It doesn't mean that you have to go to extreme measures to look young. I have gotten to a place in my life where what other people think doesn't matter.

A lot of times, women who have 'BEEN THERE' (married for years and years)
have doubts about doing it again. The laundry, the dishes, the being taken for granted.....
I have been married for 29 years, and it was wonderful till just the past few years.....the spark is GONE...
Will i get married again if i divorce? Not sure......i'm a 50 year old female who can go over jumps on a dirt bike (two wheels, NO QUADS LOL) so i'm in shape.............and i am very young at heart....
but my problem is i love the real young guys. REAL YOUNG. LIke 22 oey.............Guess you could say i'm the queen of the COUGARS!
So men my age look ANCIENT to me thats terrible isn't it?

Guess i will be single forever if i divorce unless

When my husband and I married, he was 36 and I was 44--first marriage for both! There is no reason "nice," fun people looking for respect and commitment can't find another "nice" person to date, but they must take honest looks at themselves and their lives--for ex., can Mr. or Ms Right find you? Are you allowing him/her to approach you? Are you putting up with behaviors you shouldn't? Do you realize that you attract people like yourself and the ramifications of that? And, most of all, are you happy, fulfilled, and interesting as a single person? Ironically, that's the type of person who attracts dates! Good Luck!

If you are fueling your search with the belief that there is someone who is "Mr. Right," you are spinning your wheels. Do spend your time being the person you would admire and like, and take it from there. In the end, whether you are with someone or not, you are always with yourself. If you are not what you like, you better refine yourself. Once that's done, why would you even want to be with someone? Looking for "the right person" is a load of crock. If you believe in New Years resolutions, love will make you happy, you'd be perfect if you lost that extra 7 pounds, there's Hummer saleperson who would love to selll you a vehicle.

I am 36 and turning 37 in a couple of months. I juggled with the marriage thing but only because I am tired of going through life and dealing with life alone. I think it's much easier to have a home, vacations and someone to rely on for everyday things rather than take all that on yourself. However, I am past that point now and really don't care if I ever get married because one thing I found out is even when you have someone they are perfect either and it may be easier just to do it yourself and do it right than to rely on anyone anyways. I like doing what I want when I want and nobody controlling me. When you are in a relationship there is so much sacrifice and it tends to be more from the woman than the man. I don't want to sacrifice anything and especially not for another person. I've been in love and in a 7 year relationship and it got me nowhere but starting all over just like a divorce. No thanks, I will be a lone Cougar the rest of my life.

There is no perfect age or time for marriage. For me there was no real big rush to the alter after college, I waited until I had lots of fun, a great career and did a little traveling. At 30, I took the plunge after dating the man for 3 years....now 17 years and 2 kids later...I have no idea who I married..... there is nothing about him today that resembles who or what he stood for back then.... So even when falling in love with someone who also met the criteria on the good mate checklist.....they change..regress...become self absorbed and you have no choice but to divorce. There are no guarentees just enjoy the ride.

I am 29 years old, and because I did not waited for the right person, I been married & divorced twice... Now I am dating someone, and have no hurry to get marry, I figure, this time, I'll take my time to take that decition and if he is meant to be for me, then we'll stay together for ever, with or without a paper that says we are married.... So for all those women that wonder when will they'll get marry, I say : Dont worry about it, we are all different, so we have different reasons in life, marriage is not a "must happen" situation. Life is too short.. enjoy it Today.

Why is it always about women? There are men that can't find anyone that they want to marry either.

I am approaching 40 and never married with no children. I see the reality for what it truly is. I don't have specific data for you besides the fact that women do out number men in the population. Take away the percentage that are gay, and those who are already married and it shouldn't be a shocker that there are that many more women single still looking Mr. right. Those that end up getting married for the first time after 40 generally are marrying a man that has already walked the path at least once and maybe even twice. So I guess divorce isn't necessarily a bad thing for women getting a first shot at marriage over 40. If it weren't for our high divorce rate, than the figures in the magazine article regarding the possibilities of women over 40 walking down the aisle being so slim would be 100% accurate. 90% of men I dfdate are divorced, or were even going through divorce. It is sad for the other woman, and a celebration for the one who is walking down the aisle the first time. Pretty sad if you ask me. We need to produce more males into the population, or stop having wars where we lose even more ovur populations available and married men!

Much ado about nothing. People make it one of their life goals to get married, and there are comments such as "I always wanted to get married", over something that is not supposed to be a goal in the first place, rather than a personal choice stemming from meeting someone who you want to be exclusively together with. The wrong idea that a person is somehow supposed to be married to be successful is undoubtedly instilled by a puritanistic society, in an attempt to avoid extramarital sexual liasons. Agonizing over whether you are married or not is just a waste of time, if it happens - great, if it doesn't - great again, who cares either way?

There is alot of prejudices out there against dating never married singles after 40. If it is a guy, then he has a fear of comittment. If it is a woman, then there must be something wrong with her. My grandparents had a 64 year happy marriage and my parents divorced each other twice. When I was young I used to say marriage proposals were a dime a dozen, I dated alot and had plenty of opportunities but I never felt I had met the person who I could spend a lifetime with. And I did not want to go through a divorce. So, as tempted as I was at times due to outside pressure and social stigmatisms, I said no. I still hope some day to find that lifetime relationship, but it does get more difficult with age. As you age, both men and women have developed previous "dating baggage". It makes honest communication more important up front in the dating process, as unintended miscommunications can occur due to the misinterpretation from the emotional baggage. And you have to give it a chance to grow. I find most people these days don't take the time to get to know each other or talk openly. And I see that as a real factor in the decreasing opportunities for marriage over 40. We are so content with our single lives over 40 that we really don't give someone a viable chance.

I have found that if I mention my age of 63yrs young, men run. If age is never mentioned they are fine! 3 ago summers at 60yrs, I had a 41yr old, very hot man with a Msts Degree who spoke 3 languages as my "boyfriend". Online I cannot mention my real age, until I meet the person. As is I get accused of using an old photo of myself because a women 53 (Ishave off 10yrs) couldn't look like I do. I just laugh knowing I'm really 63yrs! I don't like being deceitful but, once they meet me they are fine! I end up with men in their mid-late 50's. Games we have to play!

I divorced when I was 43yrs, my son was 7 & my daughter was 3. I have been singles for almost 21yrs. I have nearly always had a man in my life. I know that I have had & do continue to have a whole life. At different times I have of my own accord taken time out from dating. I have alot to offer as a 63yr old single; one thing is that most people think I'm early 50s or younger, I keep myself in good shape & with a good attitude about life. I have had several chances to marry but, it is difficult to find a man that has it together. Also timing plays a big in the whole game. I have my own home & a pension from my 38yr airline career. Oh I should mention that I have worked on myself over the years; I have a wonderful therapist who guides me through life's more difficult times. Most men refuse to see their faults & most of all will make selfimprovements.