How I Got There

I applied to audition for Tanglewood five times before I got an audition. When I finally got an audition in 1988, I was just over the moon. One day they called me in and said, "We've decided that you're going to conduct the concert with Leonard Bernstein." I was stunned. Bernstein came to the conducting class. He said hello to all his friends and then he said, "Where's Marin?" I felt like the clouds parted and God was speaking to me. Bernstein was more than a teacher; he coaxed the essence out of people. There was one rather cathartic rehearsal day where he came up to me and said, "The conducting's fine but it really isn't moving me." It was so devastating. Then he said, "Let's give the orchestra a break and then you'll come back and do this again." He said forget about conducting now. Just be yourself and be the music. Then I came back in and it was the weirdest experience. I felt like I'd had a massage. I thought I had nothing to lose. I'm just going to try it. I remember in the middle of the piece--this makes me cry--he came up to me and whispered, "That's it." It was so liberating.

Tanglewood opened up opportunities for me. Once I was able to get some auditions, I could win the job. I didn't go into conducting to win a popularity contest. I became a conductor because I'm passionate about the music. And I'm passionate about people being the best they can be, and sometimes you have to push people to do that.

© 2005