The Times They Are A-Changin'

It's not that we didn't try. We did. We actually had the system by the throat for a whole minute. But the system won. The system doesn't get tired, or get arrested, or have screaming children who need things. The system is patient. It held up houses and cars and boats and we said, "We don't need that!" And the system said, "I'll wait. And while I'm waiting I might even get bigger, just for the fun of it." And damn it, when the drugs wore off and the love wasn't free anymore, those houses and cars started to look good.

I was feeling OK about us, I really was, that is until Madison Avenue stepped in and told me the truth. Aging is like going through a funnel. You start out with so much room, spinning so fast, wondering just how far you can go, but in the end you wind up going through that hole. That little hole. And since you can't take it with you, Kaiser Permanente wants it. I just wish Bob Dylan had held out a bit longer. I don't think Kaiser deserved that song. I think he should have saved "The Times They Are A-Changin' " for Depends.

Albert Brooks is an actor, writer and director. His new movie, "Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World," follows the travels of a comedian named Albert Brooks who's sent by the United States government to India and Pakistan to investigate the Muslim funny bone. It will be in theaters in January.

© 2005