ONE POLITE SMOKER TAKES ON THE ZEALOTS
He'd sucked up some saliva, his lips tightly puckered. Had he been formidable, I might have followed his order. But he was small and slope-shouldered, so I stood and looked down at him. With 20 minutes' lead time, I could have come up with a brilliant retort. The best I could do under immediate pressure was to ready my latte cup for a counterattack and say, "Don't you dare."
The standoff lasted a few tense seconds before he muttered "B----," and walked away.
Although this was an extreme incident, smokers are considered legitimate targets for crusading health goons. Some of them simply stare with contempt. Some walk past in wide, fearful swoops as if to avoid instant emphysema. I'm a rule-abiding smoker. In my experience, most of us are, and most nonsmokers are able to comfortably occupy the planet with us. Perhaps anti-smoking zealots--and, I suspect, zealots of any type--were bullied as children or lead boring lives or just have a mean streak. Whatever their reasons, I'd like for them to listen up because I intend to set their minds at ease. I promise I will never use smoke as a weapon to cut their lives short if they, in turn, swear to put their excess energy somewhere else. I respectfully suggest they collect discarded beer cans from the beach or rescue stray animals or gather blankets for the homeless or teach kids to read. Deal?
LAW LIVES ON VASHON ISLAND, WASH.
© 2005
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Member Comments
Posted By: clq881 @ 11/01/2008 9:21:07 PM
Comment: Ms. Law used much more restraint than I would. I too have tried all the gimmicks to quit smoking and I've quit dozens of times. I just can't seem to stay quit. Like Ms. Law I work very hard at not imposing my smoke on others. I have stood in a lot of rain and snow to smoke. The incident she describes is truly indicative of the absurd license that the self-righteous afford themselves. Makes me wonder what the wimpy dude does behind closed doors - drink to excess, harbor bigoted thoughts, beat his partner or children. His reaction to Ms. Law's smoking was more about his own sense of entitlement and power than it was about her smoking, which couldn't reach him through a sealed window.
I had a similar experience a few years back. I was smoking outside - not in anyone's path and near no children. A woman walked off the sidewalk, across the lawn to where I was perched and began to dress me down quite rudely. I quickly decided hers was a power trip, not a health campaign. You see, she was about the size of a small SUV. Watching her move toward me in layers to upbraid me about my unhealthy habit would have been comical except for her total sense of righteous indignation.
I wasn't nice. I pointed out to her that she would likely die of the extra 200 pounds she was toting around long before my secondhand smoke had any impact on her health. The silly woman sought my smoke by waddling over to me to give me her scolding.
Posted By: RavynMackay @ 06/10/2008 10:17:56 AM
Comment: Dinank: I am truly sorry that you suffered so many health problems as a child because of your parents habits - but - there are mindful smokers out there. I have never smoked in a house or car with a child in it, and would certainly never do so with all the windows closed. I don't even like the constant smell of smoke and try to do as much as I can to control it, both for my own comfort, and those around me.
That being said I have to agree with varun2121 that if I am doing my level best to be responsible and mindful of others, and you go out of your way to make an issue out of what is essentially a personal choice, especially, and I need to stress this, if you are going to be obnoxious, rude, and/or insulting - I reserve the right to react accordingly. Society works much better if we are polite - whether we smoke or not. Ask me nicely, you'd probably be surprised how accommodating most smokers can be.
Posted By: varun2121 @ 06/09/2008 5:41:42 PM
Comment: To Dinank.
A polite smoker is one who would never smoke inside the house where their children live, definitely not in a closed car. A polite smoker is one who takes a few steps back when waiting at a stop light and a mother with children walks up. And I follow rules to protect children and those who deserve not be affected by my habit, but believe me if while following those self-applied rules you walk up to me and demand a cessation to my habit as in this article, I will take nothing but intense joy in blowing as much smoke as I can gather into your face.