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By Rana Foroohar
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A militant new movement is sweeping Britain, generating headlines and sparking protests. In one, a young man dressed as Spider-Man dangled himself from a crane near London Bridge late last year, holding up construction for six days. This July a handful of protesters dressed as vicars, nuns and monks stormed a Sunday service in York Minster. Not even Prime Minister Tony Blair has been able to avoid the onslaught: in mid-May, the P.M. was pelted with purple powder during a speech in the House of Commons. Is this a return of the poll-tax protesters? Rabid animal-rights activists? No--it's the Angry Dads.
British fathers are increasingly fed up with a system that they see as favoring mothers during custody battles. In 80 percent of cases, children end up living with their mothers after divorce; British law frowns upon shared parenting, citing the confusion that dual residences can cause a child. And while most cases are settled out of court--allowing parents to arrange their own solutions--British courts have little leeway to penalize parents who do try to thwart visits in contentious cases. The reason is that a judge's only recourse in such circumstances is to fine a mother or throw her in jail--which is rarely if ever in the child's interest. "There is much wrong with our system," said one judge after presiding over a case in which a tearful father abandoned his battle to see his daughter after his wife thwarted visits for five years. Too many dads find themselves locked in seemingly hopeless legal struggles as they try to exercise their court-ordered visitation rights. "We just want to see our kids," says Matthew O'Connor, founder of Fathers4Justice, a new lobbying group that boasts 10,000 members.
Authorities are starting to listen. Last week Blair's government issued a paper recommending several reforms, from more extensive government-sponsored mediation before divorces hit the courts to speeding up proceedings once they do. It also proposes penalties for parents who flout court rulings. The punishments--ranging from community service to compensation payments--would be less damaging to the child and would allow judges to be more impartial (some say less sexist) in their rulings.
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Will that satisfy the Angry Dads? Not likely. The government proposal makes no concrete move toward shared parenting. Nor does it address the growing problem of mothers who move with their kids far from a father and his job. When his ex-wife and son moved to Spain, London-based writer Griffin Stone (who uses a pseudonym for legal reasons) decided that the expensive flights and hotels were too much, so he gave up writing and moved to Barcelona. "I see my son every other weekend now," he says.
Still, change is in the air. There is a growing understanding in Britain that child care is not gender-specific--and that both mothers and fathers have equal roles to play within a family. Legal experts believe this more-progressive thinking may eventually have an effect on the law. "Ultimately it will all result in a move towards joint [parenting] in Britain," says Mark Harper, a family-law partner at the British firm Withers. Interest in the fathers'-rights movement is catching on, too: Fathers4Justice now has offshoots in 33 countries, other activists groups are copying its tactics and high-profile divorced dads like rock impresario Bob Geldof are calling for the government to take more aggressive action. Until it does, expect to see more of Spider-Dad.
With Tracy McNicoll
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