ENTER THE 'MAYHEM MAGNET'

Kerik has already briefly served the Bush administration, in the daunting job of acting Iraqi minister of the Interior. After the invasion of Iraq the Bush administration tapped Kerik to go to Baghdad to begin rebuilding the local police force. As he left, Kerik vowed that he'd be gone for six months or until he'd finished the job. But he came home after a little more than three months, just as the insurgency was starting to explode. Kerik told reporters that he needed a vacation; officials now say he left because an Iraqi was ready to take over his job.

Kerik has always had a knack for following the money, both the criminals' and his own. He helped crack the Cali, Colombia, cartel as an international drug buster assigned by the NYPD in the early '90s; before that he was briefly a well-paid security coordinator for the Saudi royal-family hospitals. He recently cashed in as a director of a company that makes Taser stun guns, selling stock options worth $5.8 million (he never had to put up any of his own cash). Taser sold the controversial stun guns to the NYPD during Kerik's reign (and before Kerik had a relationship with the company), and has since sold some to the Feds, mostly for a pilot program run by the Border Patrol. There is no evidence of self-dealing; still, it appears that Kerik got unusually lucky.

Kerik's sweet deal and his earlier ethics scrapes could face close scrutiny when he comes up for Senate confirmation this winter. A White House spokesman told NEWSWEEK that Kerik has been "thoroughly vetted," and he has strong Democratic backers in New York Sens. Hillary Clinton and Charles Schumer. The New Yorkers are hoping that Kerik will reverse the flow of Homeland Security dollars, which, at least in the early going, disproportionately favored rural states at low risk of attack like Alaska (home of Sen. Ted Stevens, chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee and King of Pork). Still, Kerik will have to be uncharacteristically diplomatic with his various congressional masters. Ludicrously, the Department of Homeland Security reports to 88 different congressional committees. "You try telling 60 senators from rural states that they're no longer going to get as much money as they were getting," says a DHS official. "That's suicide."

If confirmed, Kerik will have a hard time figuring out where to begin to fix the manifold problems of the DHS. One starting point would be to create some esprit de corps and attract real talent from other government intelligence services. The DHS intel unit is run by elderly retired generals who seem to be better at telling war stories than creatively connecting dots.

The DHS has been ridiculed for its color-coded terror warnings, but the real problems go deeper. Morale is at rock bottom at some formerly elite units like Customs, whose undercover operatives were once highly effective at cracking arms smuggling and drug rings at home and abroad. The reason: they were merged with chaotic and low-budget Immigration offices. Customs agents complain that they can't get gas for the cars to go on stakeouts, NEWSWEEK has learned. Then there are the sky marshals, who are supposed to guard commercial airliners from hijackers. One problem: a former Secret Service agent in charge ordered them to wear business suits, which makes them look like, well, G-men.

Trying to anticipate the myriad threats facing the United States is a daunting task. As he stepped down as Department of Health and Human Services secretary last week, Tommy Thompson bluntly declared, "For the life of me, I cannot understand why the terrorists have not attacked our food supply because it would be so easy to do." America's chemical plants and seaports are especially vulnerable. Twice on the anniversary of 9/11, ABC News managed, as a test, to smuggle into the country suspicious objects giving off a radioactive signature. Embarrassed, Homeland Security wanted to prosecute the newsmen. Kerik is going to have to move fast to secure the ports before real terrorists smuggle in a real bomb.

WITH REBECCA SINDERBRAND AND T. TRENT GEGAX IN NEW YORK AND TAMARA LIPPER AND MICHAEL ISIKOFF IN WASHINGTON and GRAPHIC BY ANDREW ROMANO

© 2004