TERROR WATCH

Michael Isikoff and

Mark Hosenball

Taking a Hard Look at the ‘Terror Memos’

Michael Mukasey is all but certain to be the next AG. His first task: Re-examining controversial interrogation and surveillance policies.

Label

Newsweek Top Stories
NEWSWEEK's 20/10
NEWSWEEK's 20/10

Our decade-in-review project recalls the highs and lows of the last 10 years.

Obama's Promises
Obama's Promises

Is the new president fulfilling his campaign pledges? Or falling short?

The Decade in 7 Minutes
The Decade in 7 Minutes

Video: A fast-paced review of the best and worst moments. Don't blink.

Accidental Celebrities
Accidental Celebrities

From Levi Johnston to Elian Gonzalez, these people never expected to be in the spotlight.

Discuss

Sponsored by

Member Comments

  • Posted By: honoreUSA @ 10/31/2007 3:44:23 PM

    The fact that my country is having this conversation brings tears to my eyes. The word "torture" is outside of what I can say of myself, my family, my friends. We abhor these acts by members of our country . We don't know how it has come to be that a US president and this administration says and does what they do. I want to scream, strike out, be so angry with them all that they will disappear. My country ius not honorable; we are in a very bad place.

  • Posted By: primum non nocere @ 10/21/2007 8:08:05 AM

    TRANSCRIPT FROM A RECENT HIGH LEVEL CABINET MEETING


    BUSH: "Come on, people, we gotta keep catapultin' the fear here.

    CHERTOFF: ???Why do you say that, sir????

    BUSH: ???Well, for two reasons: One, this Mukasey's kinda wimpy ---- probabaly doesn???t even wanna ???renditionize anybody???. And B, I can't leave office with people thinkin' I made up all this terroristism crapola. Be bad for my legsey as ???Merica???s decider. How 'bout them IUDs - Cherti-boy? Any way we can sell them thingies to America?

    CHERTOFF: "Ah, that's IED, Mr. President. Improvised Explosive devices."

    RICE: "Well, if I could interject --- I suppose IUD's could be a threat to national security, if they were stockpiled or cached. I mean, they COULD be weaponized."

    CHENEY: (Whispering to Chertoff) "Jesus, somebody just tell this moron what IUDs are!"

    CHERTOFF: "Mr. President, an IUD is an acronym for "intrauterine device. It's used for . . .":

    BUSH: (Distracted, looking out the window) "Huh?"

    RICE: (Interrupting) "What he means sir, is that the IUD is something that women insert in their, ah, private area --- it's for birth control."

    BUSH: (Suddenly interested) "No, really? Damn thing blows up, does it?"

    CHENEY: (Muttering to self as heart monitor beeps) "Oh my God."

    CHERTOFF: "Mr. President, you're correct, though. The United States has not yet prepared a defense strategy against attacks on our soil by IEDs."

    BUSH: (Suddenly fascinated with a hangnail) "That's it then --- we'll use the DUI thing ---- you know, to catapult the propaganda.???

    BUSH: ???I'm hungry --- you guys wanna order out for Domino's? Taxpayer's treat (heh, heh)."

  • Posted By: primum non nocere @ 10/21/2007 8:06:06 AM

    TRANSCRIPT FROM A RECENT HIGH LEVEL CABINET MEETING


    BUSH: "Come on, people, we gotta keep catapultin' the fear here.

    CHERTOFF: ???Why do you say that, sir????

    BUSH: ???Well, for two reasons: One, this Mukasey's kinda wimpy ---- probabaly doesn???t even wanna ???renditionize anybody???. And B, I can't leave office with people thinkin' I made up all this terroristism crapola. Be bad for my legsey as ???Merica???s decider. How 'bout them IUDs - Cherti-boy? Any way we can sell them thingies to America?

    CHERTOFF: "Ah, that's IED, Mr. President. Improvised Explosive devices."

    RICE: "Well, if I could interject --- I suppose IUD's could be a threat to national security, if they were stockpiled or cached. I mean, they COULD be weaponized."

    CHENEY: (Whispering to Chertoff) "Jesus, somebody just tell this moron what IUDs are!"

    CHERTOFF: "Mr. President, an IUD is an acronym for "intrauterine device. It's used for . . .":

    BUSH: (Distracted, looking out the window) "Huh?"

    RICE: (Interrupting) "What he means sir, is that the IUD is something that women insert in their, ah, private area --- it's for birth control."

    BUSH: (Suddenly interested) "No, really? Damn thing blows up, does it?"

    CHENEY: (Muttering to self as heart monitor beeps) "Oh my God."

    CHERTOFF: "Mr. President, you're correct, though. The United States has not yet prepared a defense strategy against attacks on our soil by IEDs."

    BUSH: (Suddenly fascinated with a hangnail) "That's it then --- we'll use the DUI thing ---- you know, to catapult the propaganda.???

    BUSH: ???I'm hungry --- you guys wanna order out for Domino's? Taxpayer's treat (heh, heh)."

Reply

Report Abuse

Enter comments if any for reporting abuse

 

10/17: Attorney General designate Michael Mukasey on torture and presidential authority