PSYCHOLOGY

Inside Karen’s Crowded Mind

In a new book, a psychiatrist details his most challenging case, a woman with 17 personalities.

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  • Posted By: Alchemist65535 @ 06/03/2009 2:47:13 PM

    I have a dear friend who had DID/MPD. I say had because she has been able to reintegrate in many ways. While she has her memories and doesn't dissociate any more she can see where the "moods" come from. Alters no longer take over and do unremembered things but she does go into the moods formerly associated with the alters. It is similar now to how most people have moods, sometimes influenced by things that happened in our lives. This was achieved via spiritual work methods and took years of effort. In working with her in this way I gained insight into my mother who was previously diagnosed as psychotic and very weird. In knowing a person with MPD very closely and deeply I can see the same things in my mother who was abused and all that. If she were also an MPD person then that would explain all the weirdness and unexplainable things.

  • Posted By: dataonabuse @ 09/08/2008 9:02:49 PM

    rBasic Information on Dissociative Identity Disorder with sections on Basic Information on DID from the DSM-IV-TR, The History of DID/MPD, Diagnosing DID, Responses to those that state that DID is iatrogenic or a social construct, MPD/DID connection to severe abuse, Recent infomation and DID resources
    http://members.aol.com/smartnews/Dissociative-Identity-Disorder.htm

    Recovered Memory Data with information on recovered memory corroboration, theories on recovered memory, legal information, physiological evidencefor memory suppression, replies to skeptics and books and articles onmemory. http://members.aol.com/smartnews/recovered_memory_data.htm

    Satanic Ritual Abuse evidence with information on McMartin Preschool case
    http://members.aol.com/smartnews/SRA_references_list.htm

    The McMartin Preschool Case - What Really Happened and the Coverup
    http://members.aol.com/smartnews/McMartin_Preschool_Case.htm

    The Etymological Antecedents of and Scientific Evidence for the Existence of Dissociative Identity Disorder
    http://members.aol.com/smartnews/did_proof.html

    The Diagnosis and Assessment of Dissociative Identity Disorder
    http://members.aol.com/smartnews/did_diagnosis.html


  • Posted By: lifehurtz @ 08/25/2008 2:06:31 PM

    where can i find out about this book? The Grandmother said her granddaughter knows when her other personality is coming, exspecially the angryone with noname, n that this g.daughter named them all.we think she is lieing big time,cuz we told are hostess Dr. who we were, he introduced us to her....so like do yas,ore any1 have a onest answer??????'s

  • Posted By: lifehurtz @ 08/25/2008 1:54:24 PM

    ???????????,s I was diagnosed in 1991, to this day they never have intergraded. n I as me feels like my dr. just doesn't know how too tell any of us,he has no ideas on how too help any one of us, in cluding myself.I am so sick n tired of going too bed, n waking up some where else,or waking up with cuts, n bruises all over. My head hurtz, n LIfehurtz a lot....

  • Posted By: lifehurtz @ 08/25/2008 1:44:37 PM

    dor wold you know who is the youngest child ever dianosed with M.P.D.I was just wondering as a friends Grandaughter age 11, was soppositlly diagnosed with three personallities at the age of four....I just find that a little too young too know weather this little girl has M.P.D. or something else.The Grandmother said she was diagnosed when in sickKids at the age of four...Oh I do believe in M/P/D/, as I am in therapy now, nn was diagnosed in 1991.12 have intergraded, n theres quite a few more. the thearapist said mine might not all intergrade, but he is teaching them to get along with each other including my self.

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 08/04/2008 10:58:01 PM

    Dear Emilylonelygirl and Madrisa and to all,

    Thank you, for your comments. I've justed started answering questions on my own "Ask Karen" blog on our website, www.switchingtime.com. Would love to hear from you!

    Karen Overhill
    "Switching Time"

  • Posted By: Madrisa @ 07/29/2008 3:10:19 PM

    I'm married to a multiple and she's made a lot of progress after 3 years of therapy (which unfortunately ended badly when the therapist crossed boundaries). I loved the book and it gave me some new insights into the integration process -- my partner has integrated 2 out of about 70 so far. I'm so glad that Karen wanted her story told and Dr. Baer wanted to tell it. Thank you very much.
    Madrisa

  • Posted By: Emilylonelygirl @ 07/20/2008 7:17:56 AM

    Karen and all,
    I was saddened when I learned how intense this therapy would become, but I think I can see that it will all be worth it. I too have done a ton of research for myself because I didn't find a lot of information beyond the typical diagnostic criteria and journals online. But few other than personal blogs with first-person information. Since I am a researcher in "real life", I tried to present the more technical and medical information in easier-to-understand terms. Since then, I started sharing it online for people who also might be interested and have gotten a good response - which helps me in my own therapy.

    I am also considering writing a book about all this when I get further along in the therapy, or perhaps when/if I integrate. And I think I will integrate. If you are interested in the information I have shared with others, visit me here:

    http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/

    Good luck on your journeys!

    Emily
    .

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 02/27/2008 12:35:32 PM

    I'm glad to hear you're reading "Switching Time" slowly. My journey to heal took over eighteen years, and continues on. Each day brings on a new challenge. I continue to have a difficult day now and then, but it's less in duration. When I decided to share my story, I felt it would help those who've been through similar trauma to know that it is possible to heal. Being abused two to three times a week over a thirteen plus year period of time was more than anyone could endure. For me, there was no other way to survive without dissociation. I lost time, for days, months and even a few years at one time. We all cope in our own way. Yet, we all experience similarities that make us unique as individuals. MPD/DID is a coping mechanism without a blueprint. No two cases are unlike.

    I never thought of my journey as systematic. It never appeared to be? However, integrating the alters, to me, was more of a need to survive in a disciplined way. My alters were not perfect and it took many, many years to get them all on the same page in order to integrate. A tedious process that worked for my alters, my pyschiatrist and I.

    I am interested in your process, too. We all take risks when dealing with DID. And it's about time some of us can come to understand what it's like to try to survive in this world, through our eyes. I appreciate your sharing with me. Never a day goes by that we can all learn something new...

    Take time in reading, you have all the time in the world. I wish you well. K

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 02/20/2008 10:19:46 AM

    Dear Erlaia.

    I understand. It's important to read "Switching Time" at slower pace, especially if your experiences run parallel in some ways. Skimming past the details of the abuse may help. But it's important to finish in order to find a sense of calm and closure. It's a difficult story to tell. And had to written in this way in hope for MPD/DID to be understood. I'm sorry for your own pain.

    Wishing you well. Take special care to your own alters. No need for alter chaos. And if you have any thoughts... please share. Maybe others can learn something from the both of us.

    K

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/25/2008 2:31:55 PM

      I am continuing to read carefully and slowly. In doing so, I continue to be profoundly impressed by your willingness to heal, to assert forward, to risk. You took such major risks to heal and with such evident clarity and resolution as you move through your life.

      I have been reading slowly enough when it comes to the narrative concerning abuse so that I am not activated. Unusual for me, since I tend to "push through" just to establish that I can......

      Yours was a very different process than mine; my journey has been much less systematic. I also note that , with the exception of one or two alters, most of mine were coconscious; I lost little time. I think that may be because the abuse I sustained was not quite so consistent over time as yours.

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 02/11/2008 11:36:39 AM

    Thank you, Erlaia, for all your kind words. I knew there is a writer within you and am amazed to hear that you and your wife are writing a book together about her experience. I wish you great luck. And if this helps...there is a book that worked, almost to a "T" for us; "The Shortest Distance Between You and a Published Book" written by Susan Page? (not sure?) This book is out of print but you can still order it through Amazon.com. It's an amazing book that proved to be a great help.

    Have a safe trip! Looking forward to hearing from you again...

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/18/2008 4:14:57 PM

      I have not fully read the book, but have read enough to know that it is a powerful and elegant document, one that reveals an intuitively effective process based on mutual trust between Karen and the the therapist. I am reading portions of it slowly, as some of the abuse information is intense, and runs parallel to my own experiences in some broadscope ways.

      I am inpressed with the selfcare that was taken in the integration of each part. Caring, respectful and loving. Powerful to read about....

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 02/08/2008 9:32:07 PM

    Dear Erlaia,

    I, too, think it's interesting to find someone else who has experienced physical changes. I appreciate your sharing. My entire healing journey lasted nearly eighteen years. I spent the first ten years of therapy with my alters. And after integration of all my alters I spent another eight years on "myself". My psychiatrist and I worked well together. Our relationship was built on trust and respect . Learning to live without my alters was somewhat of a challenge; emotionally, physically and spiritually. My own healing journey continues on...

    Erlaia, Have you ever considered writing your own book? or, Have you already written your own book? I find your written words very informative. I believe the research you've done for yourself would help many others. And I find the knowledge you've shared an assest to all those who have MPD/DID. Thank you.

    I'd be interested in reading your thoughts on Baer's book, my story. I am Karen.

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/11/2008 11:02:41 AM

      just a sidebar comment; I will be going out of town for about a week. I will be taking Baer's book with me, but I already know that I will find your story of healing to be wonderful and thought-provoking!

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/11/2008 9:34:34 AM

      It must have been an amazing level of trust to allow your therapist to write so openly about your therapeutic journey, and it also is a profound expression of your desire to reach out to others. I will read Baer's book with an informed sense, now, as I feel I know you via your thoughtful posts. Your being willing to allow Baer to write about you is an AMAZING gift!!!

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/11/2008 9:31:45 AM

      Thanks for the commentary. I am glad my comments help, and confirm some of your intuitively correct processes. And I am sure that you and your therapist have a trusting relationship, it would not be possible to do the profound work that you have done without that level of trust.

      I have thougth about writing a book, but my wife and I are in the process of writing a a book on the blend of traditional and complimentary tools and techniques that she has used for her healing from he ruptured brain aneurysm. That comes first. And, as we have discovered, writing the text is the easy part.. editing, outlineing, and sending off material to editors is a whole other challenge!

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 02/06/2008 9:25:58 PM

    I am very interested in your healing therapy. I've been seeing a chiropractor, well trained for these very same reasons. As each alter integrated, my physical body needed adjusting just as much as my emotional well being. I couldn't believe how often I had to correct my body posture. I am feeling great physically. except for a minor shoulder that freezes from time to time. However, it was an effort to become whole.

    Integrating all of my alters took quite awhile, over eighteen months and seventeen years of therapy. I was a mess. My child alters were each very unique and served an very important purpose in my healing. If anything, they brought life to me. And sometimes, even were entertaining in their childlike way. Isn't it amazing that you were able to be just who you needed to be when your wife needed you. I know this feeling. It happened to me quite often. It was how I managed to raise two wonderful children, one who served for our country in Iraq and another who is a full-time college student. People like us adapt quite well when confronted with any situation that warrants our need to be helpful. I believe MPD/DID is a complex coping mechanism.

    Regarding telling your story... I find your journey to be amazing. I've journaled and written my story eveyday for over twenty years, every word is documented. And all my memories have been consistant over the years. I can't change what happened, even though I wish I could. There was a time I needed to know for sure and asked many questions in a round about way to confirm what happened to me. I heard much more. And this stressed me. I accept my memories as true. Because my memories are all that I know. My memories are true to me. To this date my story never changed. Not once.

    Have you read "Switching Time"? by Richard Baer, author.

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/08/2008 4:06:36 PM

      Interesting that we both intuitively sought out the dynamics of physical interventionists as well as skilled talk therapists... I think it may be essential, perhaps, for that true blending together of personality components.

      my own healing journey with this therapist has been about twelve or thirteen years, and I have done my best work with her. Before that, I saw a rather traditional psychiatrist who really did not believe in the less dramatic forms of DID, even though he studied under Kluft at Pennsylvania! Before that, when I was in my early twenties, it was recommended that I undergo classic Freudian therapy, and I tried that for five years... Trauma therapy really had not yet been well defined as a sub-speciality within behavioral health care. That therapeutic journey probably kept me from being persistently suicidal, but really did not touch the core of my repressed memories.

      So, my own journey has been measured in decades....

      And you are right, DID is a brilliant coping mechanism that is designed to save the psyche from a certain kind of massive destruction due to trauma. I am glad I split when i was a child..... while pulling myself together in my adult life has not been easy, at least, I have my adult life with a sense of self.

      I haven't read Baer's book yet, but will be shortly.

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 02/05/2008 10:58:06 PM

    Thank you for sharing. I understand all that you've experienced. I can identify the differences that once separated myself from my ex-alters. I retained all their wonderful talents and unique qualities that made each alter who they were. I hadn't spoke of this to anyone. And I thank you for sharing this part of your journey. Although I feel the urge to do something like an alter once did, I seem to hold back. This has been somewhat frustrating to me because I'd like to experience certain things for myself. I have many memories that were "born" to me upon integration. Memories that I can claim as a "part" of me but never personally experienced.

    Erlaia, Have you integrated all of your alters? If not, how many alters are present at this time? I've been totally integrated for nearly ten years. I continue to grow spiritually. For me, telling my story was the ultimate healing experience. Through my writings and haven been written about, I've come to understand myself more than I ever imagined. My life continues to face new challenges every day. I still make mistakes but am doing my best and learning from them. I, too, look forward to a life I never thought possible. Emotionally I am stronger than ever.

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/06/2008 2:48:42 PM

      telling your story is critically important, although I have found that the story varies over time as I mature and reflect. There is even a shool of therapy called "narrative therapy" that uses writing as a core therapeutic tool!

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/06/2008 2:47:37 PM

      you are welcome; I think we all learn by sharing this unique coping process that we used to survive.

      I still have "kidparts", alters or parts who continue to hold memory and affect about some of my abuse history. As to how many, I don't really know. One surfaced recently, one I call "the Shy One", and he has thoughts and feelings about some of the abuse that he has kept silent about for decades. It is only recently that he felt confident enough of the "big guy" to release his feelings to me. we are working with EMDR and my therapist to delve deeply into the feelings; as we do so, my memory becomes clarified, and the emotions get processed.

      Most of the time I find that as I truly process a kidpart and his needs, that he "comes home"; his need for safety by separaton wanes, and he merges. So, the number shifts. At the moment, while I write this, there are about three or four kidparts that still carry some unresolved wounds.

      As for my adult alters, there were about 9 that played major roles, and another four or five that had ancillary roles. About five years ago, we had a major challenge in that my wife sustained a massive health reversal... and I needed to act in a swift and cogent way to support her. That led to the "adult alliance", an alliance of my adult alters that worked together closely. Over time, they simply became more and more close until "we" became "I".

      Part of my healing process has been to work with a somatic healer, a trained psychologist who does bodywork. With him, I have learned to "move back into my body" and enjoy living in it, and also learned about my ability to dissociate physically from parts or all of my body. Working in twqo-hour sessions with deep muscle work, I have learned to no longer reflect maladapted body postures that were evolved from my abuse.... and thus, my posture, stance, stride ---- all are improved, to the point that someone who had not seen me for a year wondered if I had gone to some kind of health spa! With this therapist, I have actively processed body memories and some flashbacks... and have, at times, entered his session with a kidpart in the forefront of my concerns... and with that, the work focuses on the embodiment of that alter, healing his physical pain and anxiety. This was a very dynamic process, one that I could not have embarked upon in my early years at all to say the least! But it has becme a fundamental part of my healing journey.

      My somatic worker consults with my trauma therapist about once a quarter, so that they are part of a team, not two independent therapists connected purely by my appointment book.

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 02/05/2008 12:56:16 AM

    Dear Erlaia
    I had no idea that there were other like-minded folks to share experiences with. I'm glad that you are able to share with them. I can understand the peer support would be strong....

    Do you miss the alters who integrated within you? Does the silence in your head sometimes feel as if you lost someone very important to you? There are times in which I wish I didn't integrate. I don't mean that integration was wrong, just that I miss the "idea" of having them back every now and then. Sometimes, when I'm feeling lonely, the silence in my head stresses me. And I have a hard time figuring out how to live my own life. Yet, my life is so much fuller than before. No more alter chaos. No more headaches. No more second guessing as to what I've been up to... Nevertheless, I do feel an unexplainable void every now and then. And this saddens me. It may take a lifetime for me to understand? The integration of all my alters was solid. Not
    one alter has returned. I am grateful for all they've done to help me survive. I "miss" them. However, I don't want them back.

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/05/2008 8:34:24 AM

      The feelngs that I felt when I realized that i had integrated my adult alters was simultaneously one of great sadness and great serenity,. The serenity is an emotion I can revisit, the sadness is beginning to fade. In truth, the rich characteristics of each of my alters is now present in the consolidated me. Perhaps not so easily defined, at times, but still there, and i can draw down on those skills that I used to identify as belonging to an alter.

      It is amazing to shift out of a coping tool that worked for decades for self-protection, and that change is, at times, challenging for me to adjust to. But, my shift was also permanent, and with that, I look forward to the doors that are now open for me.. emotionally speaking. I can think faster, there is far less internal dissention, I can configure decisions faster, and i can access my creativity and my wit faster. Before, I had to becon an alter to bring forth specific skillsets, and that was, at times, cumbersome.

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 01/24/2008 8:49:26 PM

    Yes, my journey was effective for me. I'm glad to hear you've created your own bonding relationships with others who are DID and/or suffered from some form of abuse. My therapeutic years were spent in "survivor" mode. Sometimes I think back and wonder what it would've been like to share with others like me. I'll never know. However, I am interested in communicating with others now.

    I'd like to hear more about how you felt when you realized you "blended" your alters? How did you know? What was different? I'm curuious because my alters operated out of my awareness. My '"feelings" od sadness came after each alter integrated and then again after all were integrated. There was a time a few alters shared time together but again, out of my awareness. I knew because their sharing time was causing me fatigue, stress and many depressed thoughts. At times I even felt suicidal. This is how I knew my alters were in chaos, recovering from this took a joint effort between, myself, my alters and my psychiatrist to re-gain control of my inner system. After a few times of the alters "sharing" time, the alters themself stopped the process. I felt better, the alters felt better and we regained a sense of calm.

    I'm curious about twelve-step programs... Do you have any difficulties maintaining this process? During the years my alters were active I couldn't focus on any one particular program and felt it was too ovewhelming to commit to a twelve-step program. How do your alters handle being a part of this?

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 02/04/2008 9:13:52 AM

      In the twelve-step progra that I attended, there were many likeminded folks, so I had the opportunity to share experiences. That helped me immeasurably. More important than the language of the steps was the peer support, which I found to be extremely useful.

      My alters merged of their own accord, and i became aware of it only after I became aware of the silence in my head. I began to experiment with trying to draw down one or another alter,a nd was unable to... so the blend was solid, by agreement, and consensual, after years of work on internal conflict management and internal self respect. I belive those were key in my process, frankly.

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 01/20/2008 10:37:26 PM

    You're right about each of our experiences being different. I never attended any MPD/DID support groups because I couldn't conceive many people sharing their stories about their lives and alternate personalities at the same time. The whole idea overwhelmed me. I feared that too much interference would cause alter distress. I believe, for me, less was more. My own system was complex enough. So, I ask? How does anyone share with many of the same? I tried to attend a few groups but quit out of fear of being misunderstood. I didn't know which group would best suit my needs and am glad my psychiatrist and I worked together and without any outside influence. My way may not be anyone else's choice but it worked well for me.

    Now, after integration, I can share my thoughts, feelings and experiences with others. My decision to heal in this way was my own personal choice, along with my alters. A very personal journey. I shared with very few trusted friends who accepted me unconditionally. My multiplicity was never an issue with them.

    I am curious though, how does one find the right support group? And does anyone know of any support groups for those of us who have been fully integrated? I would like to know more from those of you who've coped with integrating some and/or all of your alters.... How did integration feel to you? Were you afraid? Did you mourn afterwards? and for how long? Are you happy with your decision? And how are you functioning now?

    Please share.... Thank you!

    • Posted By: erlaia @ 01/23/2008 3:05:58 PM

      It sounds as if your healing journey is effective, which, after all, is the most critical issue.

      I don't think that it is easy to find a support group. To some extent, I have created my own, bonding with others who are DID, and who were abused in some extreme ways in our respective youths. My venue for that was Survivors of Incest Anonymous, a twelve-step program that focuses on healing from the effects of childhood sexual abuse.

      When I realised that I had "blended" my adult alters, I had a simultaneous set of feelings - one of profound serenity, and the other of deep sadness. A coping tool that had been an amazing survival tool had "gone away", and that felt sad. Still does, from time to time. The other feeling, one of serenity, has become a day to day feeling for me, one that creates a platform for my adult interactions and my adult sense of self.

  • Posted By: erlaia @ 01/16/2008 2:17:12 PM

    I would want to suggest that there is a model, called the Internal Family Systems model, that suggests that dissociation and "pats" are inherent to the human condition. With that understanding, I have let go of some of my complex feelings about being multiple.

    I have recently integrated many of the adult alters, but it was not a conscious decision as much as it was the byproduct of years of "conflict management" and internal self-care/self-respect. It is the internal self-respect and self-awareness that created the foundation for the kind of internal synergy of thought and feeling that led to a spontaneous form of, to quote my wife 'an economy of being'. I STILL have kidparts, some with memory yet to be processed, but even that feels different now.

    It was useful for me to share the process with other DID folks, (my wife included). Our experiences are always different, but rich and rewarding to talk about. Instrumental for me was a closed group that spun out of Survivors of Incest Anonymous, a group focused on survivors of torture and ritual abuse. It was in the freedom of those room where I could speak the unspeakable with peers, and just that alone was profoundly releasing........

  • Posted By: blink17 @ 01/15/2008 5:51:13 AM

    Hi to all,

    Integration, for me, was a necessity. My alters were in chaos, each alter wanted more and more time
    out. I was exhausted all the time, rarely sleeping, and not really "living" a life. I knew something needed to be
    done but had no idea as to what? And since I never read any stories of MPD/DID before, I was at a lost. It
    was one of my alters, an adult male, that came up with a plan to integrate. I believed at the time that if the desire to merge came from within myself, out of my awareness, then it was meant to be. No influence came from my psychiatrist. My alters made this decision as a group effort to heal me, after each one decided their
    reason for being separate was no longer helping me. After years of therapy my alters started to respect each
    other. It was at this time "we" started the processof becoming "whole".

    I've been integrated for nearly ten years now. I admit it was the hardest challenge of my life, merging all my alters into one. After each alter integrated I felt as though I had major surgery. I grieved, was in pain, both
    physically and emotionally. Then, after a few days I started to gain strength. My fragmented thoughts and memories started to make a picture. Almost like putting a puzzle together, each piece is needed to complete
    one picture. I never "lost" any of my alters through integration. I needed them all. I gained each alters memories, thoughts and an amazing peace of mind. Sure, sometimes I miss the individuality each one
    brought to my life but I continue to "feel" their presense in all I do. "We" became "One", nothing was lost. However, a life was gained.

    Integration may not be for everyone, it's an individual choice. My life improved. I admit, to still having difficult days and it's hard not to be "resued" from myself at times. Yet, all in all, my life is richer. Integration isn't a quick fix. It's a choice. My therapy didn't end after integration was complete. My therapy continued on for a few
    more years because I needed to deal with issues that came from becoming "one".and synthesizing the wealth of information I gained from each alter.

  • Posted By: AD21 @ 01/14/2008 6:55:29 PM

    Hi erelia, (and anyone else who wants to comment)

    Hope you had good holidays.

    I'm curious about what it's like to be integrated. How did it happen? Did you actively work on it ? What does that feel like? Did it feel like anyone disappeared, or was lost? Why did you do it? What was gained? What was lost?

    We might be strange here, but there's a lot of things about being multiple that we like. Each other, for one. We love each other. I think we take better care of each other than we might take care of ourself, if we were singleton. We like the richness of consciousness that comes from having so many 'beings,' female and male, kids, teens and adults- ascetic and focused, pleasure loving, soft and compassionate, strong and fierce, funny, silly, excitable, calm. We're afraid we might move toward some kind of "mediocre muddle" if we became one. We also really respect each other as beings, seperate consciousnesses, and can't imagine forcing anyone to integrate or disappear.

    At the same time, we just love sharing hearts with each other, knitting ourselves together, learning each other's perspectives being close. Sometimes we make composits (several of us joined), and sometimes we don't even know who is out, though we are co- and know what's going on. So maybe we are becoming (that evil word!) integrated???

    In therapy, we've been working on learning to live well together, on helping each other heal from the trauma, and on just "growing", emotionally and in personal effectiveness. We've decided that if integration happens naturally, and everybody's comfortable with it, that's great, but we're not going to force it. Luckily, our therapist has the same perspective.
    You're thoughts?

    -AD21

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