Inside Karen’s Crowded Mind

Um, my brother committed suicide shortly after defining, fully, his abuse of me. kind of a death sentence, doncyha think? By the time my brother confirmed my memories, my mother was institutionalized and my father quite dead. My role with my mother was as her legal guardian, a role which I discharged with some level of responsibiity. Placing charges against an 80-year old woman dying of Alzheimer's struck me as a waste of time.

Children really don't have a lot of opportunity to report abuse, not in the "golden 5o's" as you seem to think them, Claudette. After I had confirmation of my memories, it was far more important for me to deal with the information than it was to press charges against a dead father, a dying mother and a soon-to-be-dead brother.

Frnakly, had my brother lived, I might have had charged placed against him,not for his abuse of me, but his abuse of his own children and grandchildren. But - the man beat me to the punch.

OK Erlaia: You still haven't answered the important question! Why were no charges laid, people held accountable, jail sentences etc. etc.
You and your bunch have a great holiday and I hope you can find a turkey big enough to feed (how many?)

have a good holiday, Claudette, and, at some time in your life, I hope you find some level of tranquility.

I am sorry that your experience, as you represent it, was so devastating. As for me, I will continue to live in what you describe as LA LA land, a land filled with skilled therapeutic intervention, interesting and powerful new therapeutic tools and a life filled, increasingly, with quiet contentment and joy. And, if you really don't care that much, I wonder what you have invested in posting so didactically on this site? Innumerable folks with my diagnosis have spoken up, quietly, with assurance, concerning their personal history, and you assume that we are all charlatains and huxters, duped by powerful and craven therapists who drive Bentlys from their ill-gotten proceeds. it really does not matter what I say, since you respond, only by insult, diatribe and invective. So, again, Claudette, have a nice holiday and I am signing off. This is now way too pointless. Time for you to find another bully pulpit.

Oh Really? Now tell me, is the Cherokee or Black part of you your alters or both? Frankly, you haven't answered the question, why in the hell, if this is all so true (repeated sodomy) maybe a little of the caldrin of blood by witches, let's make this really interesting, not been prosecuted?
By the way, whether it's true or not, frankly my dear, I don't give a damn, you see, I've got two dead kids here in the cold north, and it's going to be yet another one of those "I hate the season (Christmas's)" because I can't even buy my kids a Christmas gift.
If you want to spend another minute in LA LA Land, be my guest because frankly I don't give a rat's behind.
The point is, my daughter was brainwashed by this "CULT" she's gone, my grandbaby's gone and why? So quacks can go on selling their snake oil!
You and your kind are totally unreal!

I'm not at all that regressive and retro - (70's 80's thinking) at all. I happen to believe that most humans of all color, religious background and sexual orientation are basically good and most, say 90% would do no harm. Isn't strange that in my country, there are more rape crisis centers than there are actual rapes! Why? - government made (Cheap unlicensed Psychiatric Jobs). Once again, the cheap way out to deal with the least of our population - the mentally ill. Please spare me that all mentally ill were abused! Nonsense, because neither are the rising incidents of childhood diabetes due to poor diets, obesity in the young (leading cause of stroke and heart conditions in the young), hyper-active school kids being put on ritalin to make teacher's lives more tolerable. Kids of the 50's 60's 70's and 80's that were too active used to be considered - normal/bored/active/intellegent and will grow out of their mischief and they did! Now kids of the 90's and in this new century who have been drugged with all these drugs for A.D.D. etc. can look forward to early alzhiemers due to these damn drugs. People now a days are too damn quick to diagnose abuse or hyper activity and should learn to relax and use common sense and logic!
The human condition of the last 20 to 30 years and still in this decade has become one of poor, poor me the victim, the survivor of a terrible abusive childhood, I THINK, cause I'm not sure and happy, a few things went wrong, and once I started reading about abuse and going to my all knowing therapist, I'm now sure that dreadful things need to be uncovered (of course with the help of my therapist and the price tag!)
Damn, it's amazing how some kids never get over not getting that car at 16 years of age, and how they're affected for the rest of their lives and damn it - It's all MOM's fault. Insert, vomiting at this point!
Get out of that 70's, 80's 90's - radical feminist/hysterical/Mars has landed thinking and you'll all be better off!
Massive childhood trauma?? Where is the headlines of your abuse, the court case, the jail terms and even if your so called abuse was made known when you were older, why in the hell don't you bring criminal charges, punish the real abusers and get on with your life. Yes, indeed, why? Probably because you'd rather wallow in your mud filled mind!
Well, there is an old saying "*** or get off the pot!" , but, for the love of all of us who are getting so bored with your whining, do something! Get on with it!
If it can't be scientifically proven, (many of your so called scientific studies are not validated and are greed oriented - THE GOD ALMIGHTY MONEY MAKING VICTIM INDUSTRY) then it is as one Psychiatrist has stated to me - NOTHING BUT FANTASY -and that Psychiatrist met quite of few of these so called RMT patients who were a mess and he had to undue all the harm!
Claudette

Goes to show, Erlaia: just how ancient your camp happens to be, by painting me in a black/white thinking pattern when I percieve that very statement as being very racist!
White - pure Black - evil! I happen to be color blind on any issue because there are only grey areas, but, absolutely one thing is for sure, IF a person does not remember for 25 years of their life, any abuse of any serious degree, and low and behold, due to many factors such as living breathing witnesses that were a constant in their lives, 24/7 days a week, example brother/sister/friends/neighbours, no medical reports of abuse, THEN, there was no abuse in the home!!! Furthermore, isn't it strange that just like a cult, it only takes a few short months of brainwashing to take a vulnerable individual out of their innocent families and actually kidnap them!

And, in the ten years since this substantive book was published, I would suggest that the reverse has occurred, the clinical community has become more aware of the very real presence of this condition and the underlying causes. Yep, Claudette, DID exists, it is not as rare as a lunar eclipse, and the number of iatrogenic cases is far, far less than the folks at FMSF would have you believe in their propaganda.

Claudette, skilled therapist do NOT induce memories, they have enough work dealing with the real ones. Skilled therapists, and there are a number of them out there, do NOT "create" a diagnosis of DID, despite McHugh's utterly naieve pratings on the subject to the contrary.

I conceed that there are some rotton apples out there, and some therapeutic practices of questionable competency. however, there are therapeutic practices, including talk therapy, some elements of behavioral modification and EMDR that can be enormously helpful in dealing with childhood trauma. And, for those of us who were subjected to massive childhood trauma, splitting was the best thing wie could have done.

For me to listen to you prate on, Claudette, is to assume that my expereince does not exist or was somehow manufactured by a therapist. My process has been too conservative, too meticulous, for that to have been remotely the case...... I had hoped, for a nanosecond that you might be able to look at another position that did not negate your own painful life experience, but I gather, from the stubborn persistance of your posts, that you are really not. This site is really nothing more than a bully pulpet for you to natter on, citing "respected sources' ad nauseum, while trying to terrorize folks into believing what you believe in. In a way, your dogmatic narrow-mindedness is beneficial, as it really paints "your camp" in a rather hideous light of black/white thinking and an utter lack of selfaware judgement.

That was ten years ago, we've come a long way since then. To err is human and to learn from our mistakes is divine!
IF there is such a thing as DID, I don't believe (according to really good sources) that it is prevalent in the population and the only the cause of so many cases is iatrogenic as it's source.
Claudette

Summary of Research Examining the Prevalence of Full or Partial Dissociative Amnesia for Traumatic Events - The most comprehensive review of the scientific literature on dissociative amnesia has been conducted by Brown, Scheflin and Hammond in their book, Memory, Trauma Treatment, and the Law . (New York: Norton, 1998). This book is viewed as setting the standard in the field after receiving the American Psychiatric Association's 1999 prestigious Manfred S. Guttmacher Award for best book in law and forensic psychiatry. Brown, Scheflin and Hammond reviewed 43 studies relevant to the subject of traumatic memory and found that every study that examined the question of dissociative amnesia in traumatized populations demonstrated that a substantial minority partially or completely forget the traumatic event experienced, and later recover memories of the event. Dissociative amnesia can occur after any type of traumatic event. www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/tm/prev.html

Holy Cat! Thought everyone had died and gone to heaven. Guess there are still a few in body and spirit eh?
Claudette

???

Is anyone there?

Choonzer!Sorry Choonzer, the one thing I've never been prone to is hallucinations, just horrible dreams, which one doesn't have control over. That being said IF I (with a capital I) would hallucinate, then maybe I'd probably find some kind of escape such as delusions or DID. Guess I'm just not wired that way!
Claudette

Hmmm... Actual meaningful dialogue... (insert hallelujah chorus here)

I'm quite impressed by both of you, each having found your own ways to overcome the type of adverse conditions that no child deserves to be born into. Hearing about the things people sometimes do to their children literally drives me to go home and shower after work sometimes. But the strength exhibited by those who choose to face the memories and effects of these experiences head-on, rather than repeat the behaviors themselves, is nothing shy of miraculous. Kudos to both of you.

Claudette, it seems you're developing the willingness to validate other people's experiences and views, even when they don't mesh with your own. If I'm not hallucinating and that indeed is the case, let me just say that you're much more credible and persuasive with this softer stance.

Whatever works is fine, however, once innocense suffers, I do see red.
Claudette

And conversely, I hope the clarity of understanding of dissociative identity disorder will be more present in our culture. As a sidebar, my therapeutic journey, claudette, has nvever involved RMT. It has invovled returning to memories that I had repressed, and processing the repressed affect. No one "went digging"; my memories flashed back in what are referred to as memory cascades. It was then that I sought confirmation from my brother, who had the grace to do that prior to ending his own live. .

In fact, skilled clinicians allow focused clients to determine our own pace, as flooding with memory and remembered affect can be very destabilizing, as you may well be aware.

For me, the diagnosis of DID explained, not complicated, my life. With the help of a skilled therapist , I have resolved buried feelings and created an adult life that I enjoy. And yep, I use EMDR with good results, even profound results.
You understand what you believe destroyed your daughter and her life. What destroyed my family was a lethal combination of drugs, alchohol, sexual abuse and physical violence, all disguised behind the facade of a promintent and well educated "power couple" that were both well respected in their careers. Their lives ended early, due in major part to the stressors of drug and alchohol addictions.....I bear the broken bones and physical scars of some of their destructive behaviors, and had my life, along with my sanity, placed in the balance more than I care to think. I am sure that my therapy did not "invent" broken bones, scar tissue and other physical remnants of my physical and sexua abuse.