Some Strange Spring Break

"If war starts while you're gone, I'll text-message your cell phone and send you an e-mail. And then I want you on the next plane."

"Some guy told me there's a place in Key West that has a drink called a Saddam. You get bombed in about 15 minutes."

"Does anyone know where the Bush girls are going? Because that's where I'll send my daughter."

"I wish they'd stop changing the start date of the war. First it was March 17. Then someone told me March 21. At this point I don't know who to believe."

"We're driving. I don't care if gas goes over two dollars a gallon, we're driving. I wouldn't get on a plane if you paid me."

"I refuse to let them hold our family vacation hostage."