Some Strange Spring Break

"The baggage handler on St. Bart's says Americans have been going from the French side to the Dutch side to eat in protest. Even though the food on the Dutch side is terrible."

"For the first time in our lives we're taking out travel insurance. At least we won't lose the deposit."

"They have to refund the deposit in the event of war, or natural disaster. Or both."

"Don't act like an American. That means no walking down the street drinking a soda, and no Oakland Raiders hat."

"We're staying home. It's the only place we feel safe. Well, not exactly safe. But safer."

"I never thought I'd say this, but maybe we'll all be safer in Europe."