Knocking Yourself Up

i am 18 years old and raised primarily by my mother. Though my financial stablity may have been somewhat lacking growing up, i have no complaints. It was through this struggle that my 3 siblings and i have grown to appriciate what we have, as opposed to those i witness that had more "advantages." my siblings and i feel lucky to have come from the single mother situation. While she may not have been educated, she knew the benefits of an education and always pushed us to do well in school, and i am currently enrolled in washington state university. my mother was too busy providing for us to attend many school conferences, but we are not lacking because of it. i resent the teacher that mentioned how rough single parent children have it, for we have grown through our stuggles. i never had anything handed to me, i had to work for it. children with everything handed to them in childhood will not be able to function properly in the real world, without the advantages they had as a child. this is why we are the generation most likely to continue living at home until marriage. we are not to be pitied, and i am your typical, well-rounded college student, who can interact with my peers effectivley and have a normal romantic life, even without a father.

and why is it that the majority is trying to tell the minotiry how to live their lives? is it really the married couple bussiness to tell a woman she should not be allowed to reproduce? and for what reason? not everybody is a christian, so not everybody is going to abide by the ways of the bible. christians are picking passages from the bible that suit their lifestyle and ignoring the rest.

It is not that these women are man haters, it is just they they refuse to settle on a man. why reproduce with someone you dont love when this could end in divorce, anyway? and bring a child into a marriage without love? isnt it possible that this could also have some negative reprocutions?

I am a single mom. I choose to have my second child by AI. I had a child from a previous relationship which ended not long after I found out I was pregnant and the father left and I have not seen him since. As my son was getting older he started to ask for a sibling, I also had been longing for another child as well. I had not been in any releationships since my son's father. So with much prayer, thought and consideration I choose AI. I could not be happier, nor could my son he loves his sister more than anything and she loves him. I have the emotional support of my family and both my children have several male influences. They are more balanced in social and emotional and in learning then some children who have both parents at home. I feel that as it may be hard for some to accept this way of having children, it is a more positive way for a single woman to have a family. We go into the situtation with no expectations from others and also there is no fighting over the child if a marriage or relationship ends and as we all know this can destroy a child. This is not a cookie cutter world and we all have to make different choices. We only have one life to live, and as for me I don't want to be on my death bed with regrets, wishing I had went ahead with a family and denied myself the happiness that a child brings.

i am 18 years old and raised primarily by my mother. Though my financial stablity may have been somewhat lacking growing up, i have no complaints. It was through this struggle that my 3 siblings and i have grown to appriciate what we have, as opposed to those i witness that had more "advantages." my siblings and i feel lucky to have come from the single mother situation. While she may not have been educated, she knew the benefits of an education and always pushed us to do well in school, and i am currently enrolled in washington state university. my mother was too busy providing for us to attend many school conferences, but we are not lacking because of it. i resent the teacher that mentioned how rough single parent children have it, for we have grown through our stuggles. i never had anything handed to me, i had to work for it. children with everything handed to them in childhood will not be able to function properly in the real world, without the advantages they had as a child. this is why we are the generation most likely to continue living at home until marriage. we are not to be pitied, and i am your typical, well-rounded college student, who can interact with my peers effectivley and have a normal romantic life, even without a father.

and why is it that the majority is trying to tell the minotiry how to live their lives? is it really the married couple bussiness to tell a woman she should not be allowed to reproduce? and for what reason? not everybody is a christian, so not everybody is going to abide by the ways of the bible. christians are picking passages from the bible that suit their lifestyle and ignoring the rest.

It is not that these women are man haters, it is just they they refuse to settle on a man. why reproduce with someone you dont love when this could end in divorce, anyway? and bring a child into a marriage without love? isnt it possible that this could also have some negative reprocutions?

cowdragon
the ultimate message of the bible is love. now im not going to sit here and debate with you about the bible because the simple fact is that if you have read it you would know that it is good. Please do not sit there and lie.

There is no big deal if women want to have a child on there own and not have to deal with the everyday stress of men. Dont get me wrong men or great but sometimes they could drive you crazy. I came from a single parent home but mostly that was my moms fault she did not know who my dad I quote her... "There are too many men that I think is your father and I would feel embrasse to go and ask them to take a test to find out." But what about the impact it had on me. Some women are prepared to have children on there own and want to have them. My mom did not want me she kept me but she didnt want me. SHe dried to kill me three time while she was pregnant. My mom did not buy me clothes or feed me, My true mom was my grandmother she was there for me thru everything that happened in my life and the one thing that ticks me off about my childhood and my life and relationship with mom is that while growing she had nothing to do with me now she wants to have a mother-daughter relationship and I feel it is just to late. I am turning 21 in seven days and my one year anniversary of being married is tomorrow. I have my own life and family now. And I dont need her anymore and I never did need her. But my comment about this is that if a women if both emotionally and physically ready and prepared to have a child own her own then go far it. Just dont be a mom like my mom was because your child will never forget, they will forgive but want forget. I forgave my mom but that broken heart is still there inside me everytime I see her. God Bless and everyone have a happy and save weekend.

Dford

I have two jobs, getting my associates degree in June, going further on to get my bacholer's degree, further yet to get my masters, and further yet to get a Ph. D. Thank you, I'm a little, too busy to enjoy such pleasures.

On top of that, I have two loving and supportive parents. And since I moved out seven years ago, I've been supporting myself.

It should always be about the child, even if this is a topic of women's choice. If a single woman feels prepared to have a child but can not find a suitable partner, by all means, go for it. Same with men. I'm not saying a single man is less able to raise a child than a single woman. But its gonna be tricky to solve the problem of men not being able to have babies without a woman partner.

Commentzilla - come on man, thats bogus arguement. That idiot mayor left 100's of school buses sitting in the depot, that could of been used to bus people out of N.O. before Katrina hit. Get a better arguement.

to Ritz and Dford - since its apparent you are both church going folk - tell me - does everyone in your church including yourselves subsribe fully to this lifestyle that you preach? No children out of wedlock? Only one marriage? No divorce? Happily ever after? Because if that's true I want to know where you go, Sounds like it could be too good to be true.

heya INTRAVIEWER :) no problem

I was refering to MOSTLY the Abrahamic religions over zealousness. Within the three major sects of Christianity, Islam, and Judiasm, their god repeatedly calls for the torture (circucision of both men and women), burning, crucifixion, "cleansing", etc... and death of non beleivers. This could be kind of funny since their god claims that the world is only around 6,000 years old and most other gods have been around longer.

So I am maing references to witch burnings and the like. Hopefully that cleared it up. Ask again if I left anything out :)

Lawelff D
You said "if they want a child they know they could raise just as well alone".

My point is that they cannot enstow in young men what a father, a real "father" could. And the real point here is that women who have babies with irresponsible fathers are just as irresponsible as the father. But just beacue the babies didnt come out of the father, people seem to forget that the mom did contribute just as much to the problem. Now days people just flat out live like prostitutes and children do suffer the consequences. But to say that a mother can teach all the nessacary things a young man needs to know about being a man is a flat out lie. Just because women have the choice to be artificially inseminated does not give them the right to cheat a child out of a father PERIOD.

Well here's the deal - I'm a mom of 4 and have been married for 11 years. Marriage is HARD WORK and so is raising kids. If it weren't for my husband I don't know how I'd do it alone! Being a parent (mom OR dad) it's not easy. It's a long hard journey, and for me personally, I'd rather have a partner to share that journey with. As far as a test tube baby - what do you tell that child when they ask - who's my daddy? It seems to me that these women, as good hearted and natured as they may be, are not thinking responsibily in terms of the effect that this situation will have on not only themselves, but most importantly their children. This isn't a case of oh my biological clock is ticking and I want a new toy situation. It's far more serious than that! Ok and let me tell you - I'm not taking this lightly. My oldest child is from my first marriage - my current husband has raised him as his own since he was an infant. Before then even! So beleive me when I tell you, I've already crossed the bridge of "who's my daddy!" It's not fun and it hurts like hell to have to tell your child the truth. I can only imagine what it would do to a child to realize that they are the results of a test tube pregrnancy and the truth be known their mom REALLY doesn't know their father. How does one get over this hurtle? I just have to wonder. Now on the flip side I say go for it. Everyone deserves someone and I fully believe that God put us on this great earth to duplicate ourselves. If you can't do that by traditional means then go else where. It's just not for me!

why, you ask, should you wait for a man to have a child? BECAUSE ITS A PERSON! are you serious?its not like having someone there to buy you a pair of jeans, this is a human life. if your a couple who cant get pregnant go for it, really. But come on don't do it if your single and 40. I think its selfish to have a child who will never know their "father". dont you think a child would feel different from other children around them who know they have two parents. this is worse than divorced or unmarried parents because this child will always know they weren't made out of love(not saying that everyone comes from a loving relationship but you know what i mean) this just takes the "i dont need no man" feminist view too far. if your single and childless ADOPT!give a child who needs it a loving home. don't give yourself a baby for your 42nd birthday.

Im 30 years old , in january 3 is my be come 31, im still waiting 4 the right 0ne, but , in couple years if im still alone , i will take the 2nd obtion.

If you make enough money to support yourself and a child and have a job that allows you enough flexibility to take off to care for/ attend events for your child, okay. But sadly, the majority of single mothers rely on the government to pay for some aspect of their child's life. In addition, many single moms feel that they should not be held to the standards of others at work and school and often ask for special treatment that may require those without children to do extra, unfair work. If you want an example of what can go wrong with single motherhood, look to New Orleans after Katrina. 88% of all births in New Orleans were illegitimate. 30% ofthe population lived below the poverty line. The state of Louisiana has one of the highest illegitimate birth rates, teen birth rates, maternal mortality and infant mortality rates in the country. Don't follow our lead!

That idiot is probably refering to the Jesuits. Who knows, he just spewing religious rhetoric

Well here's the deal - I'm a mom of 4 and have been married for 11 years. Marriage is HARD WORK and so is raising kids. If it weren't for my husband I don't know how I'd do it alone! Being a parent (mom OR dad) it's not easy. It's a long hard journey, and for me personally, I'd rather have a partner to share that journey with. As far as a test tube baby - what do you tell that child when they ask - who's my daddy? It seems to me that these women, as good hearted and natured as they may be, are not thinking responsibily in terms of the effect that this situation will have on not only themselves, but most importantly their children. This isn't a case of oh my biological clock is ticking and I want a new toy situation. It's far more serious than that! Ok and let me tell you - I'm not taking this lightly. My oldest child is from my first marriage - my current husband has raised him as his own since he was an infant. Before then even! So beleive me when I tell you, I've already crossed the bridge of "who's my daddy!" It's not fun and it hurts like hell to have to tell your child the truth. I can only imagine what it would do to a child to realize that they are the results of a test tube pregrnancy and the truth be known their mom REALLY doesn't know their father. How does one get over this hurtle? I just have to wonder. Now on the flip side I say go for it. Everyone deserves someone and I fully believe that God put us on this great earth to duplicate ourselves. If you can't do that by traditional means then go else where. It's just not for me!

actually Ritz, I read it constantly to keep my mental faculties sharp when debating against the lost sheep who call themselves christians.

Every example I gave was from the bible. I can go on. Now tell me how it is a good piece of literature.

Dear Cowdragon;
I am fascinated with your comments about "Religious Fundamentalists who would have killed and tortured all who opposed them."
Could you clarify that a bit for me? Were you referring to the Crusaders of the 15th century? The Templars? Witches?
Forgive me if I am bit "dense" here; but I would love for you to give an actual name to your title.
Many Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a single parent by choice and have been for the last 15 1/2 years. My daughter is a very self-confident, strong and independent young lady. We have a completely open and honest relationship and the lack of father has not proven to be a detriment to our household but rather a blessing. I do not receive child support because the father to my daughter "did not want to be a dad" and I did not want the hassle of a child custody case.

Being a single parent is HARD regardless of whether it is by choice, through divorce or by death. It does not matter if you a one-parent household or a two-parent household. Becoming a parent is a CHOICE. My daughter is the BEST thing to have happened to me and I am thrilled by my decision to be a single mom by choice.