Knocking Yourself Up

my mom was my only parent my dad is a drunk but i remember my dad before and he was not like this he was happy to have me and my sister he was allways there for us but then some thing happened to him he went crazy he stab my mom 17 times and broke me and my sister arms i was like 5 then but after all that my still forgave him she is not married to him she raised us the best way she could and she did a good job but it was some things she could not teach me my dad came back into my life when i was19 i forgave him and i love him to this day but i had to learn to be a man with out him so it can be done but my mom and dad did not want this life for us but it is what it is some things we have to go through my dad loved my mom but some thing happened to him some things just happen yes woman me do leave there wife and kids but for there own reasons just like woman leave there husbands with the kids so does it make it different yea men just cant have babies on there own but if that is what a woman wants to do then more power to her but i just think that some where in some femals life they had a good man that wanted these things but they did not want him or they know some one who really loved them but they did not want to get to know that person.

Comment: I feel bad for you if you think that is selfish MensRights101. My Mom is the most amazing mom I have ever known and she is a stay at home mom who has nurtured us and given and taught us every moral and every life lesson I ever needed because she was there for us always, because I wasn't raised in a daycare.

TO RITZ:
My husband has 2 children by his ex-wife and I have a daughter. My husband and I did the best we could with a very blended family. But in these instances you have such diverse ideas on child rearing and everyone has an opinion on how to do it. My daughter and her dad are perfect examples. She resented my rules and at 16 1/2 went to live with her cool dad who let her do whatever as long as it did not bother him and is now a single mom at 18-19 with a dead beat boyfriend who can't keep a job. the boyfriend at first thought it was cool to be a dad, but the feedings, lack of sleep and ever poplar diaper changes are not as much fun as the child gets older.

Even though I did marry and was a wife and mother, I decided that raising kids with an alcoholic fathere was not in anyone's best interest. I divorced and raised the kids on my own. It was not easy (nor is marriage) but four of my five kids teach and two of those have Master's degrees. The one that does not teach, sells real estate and does well financially. Two of the five children are married but they did not marry until they were older. I compare my kids to some of the children that they grew up with that had both mom and dad and I feel that my own children fare quite well. I don't think it matters that children have a mom and a dad, I think it matters that they have a quality relationship with a mom or a dad and I think kids need stability. Single moms can provide that as well as homes with moms and dads...they just have to have raising the children as a priority.

any ladys that want a child pls feel free to call me i have a big willie and will give you a child for free!
996-555-3242

Motherhood is a wonderful thing. Skip the sperm bank and enjoy a nice MR.

they are not harming anyone by doing this. Most of these successful women have networks of friends and helpers to assist in raising these children. They have grandparents who love them, they have friends of mom who they maybe call aunts and uncles. The only people bothered at all are... people like you folks who let yourselves get offended by how others choose to live,

Ritz: my wife and I started living together and are now happily married. We have three children whom we are raising with good morals and free thinking. They are shown the evil within the bible so they will be prepared to deal with drones who never had the courage in life to question it. If it was a lifestyle that offends your god then so be it, because everything about your god offends me.

Since when is what a woman wants more important than that of an unborn child who doesnt have a choice? Seriousmoms comment is probably the most ignorant of them all... Grow up or shut up? If you had any brains at all you would recognize that to grow up means to be responsible which in turn means make an effort to have a family before you bring a child into this world without a father just because its what you want. if you are that lonely get a pet instead of gambling with a human being.

"Posted By: JB06 @ 11/02/2007 4:14:31 PM
Comment: I posted below, but felt the need to add a little something. GUYS - I feel your pain when you read all the male bashing in threads like this. Femenism has done more than destroy the family dynamic by pushing mothers out of the home. I wonder if people notice that on TV, men are always portrayed as the bumbling, stupid husband who is in constant need of saving by his wife. It's unfortunate that men are looked down on by women when they act like men. I get annoyed when women complain about the deadbeat dad that walked out on their kids because they're not "into the dad thing". Perhaps if these women had chosen their mates a little better, i.e. with an eye for his character and convictions, rather than for his looks or the convenience, there would be fewer single moms "by chance". I'll probably get hell for that little remark, but I'll stand by it nontheless. Hang in there guys, there are women out there who know what Mr. Right really looks like, they'll find you soon enough."

Indeed..good post. Men, don't buy into the BS. Don't get cowed into an abusive relationship by some overbearing matriarch who believes a man's place is to feel ashamed and apologitic for being a man and actually having Man's needs. If someone is blaming you, or men in general, for the poor choices that THEY made concerning the people that THEY CHOSE to associate with, then they are not who you want to be with. We deserve better than that.

I invite all the men on this forum to visit www.nomarriage.com and get informed.

RiTZ

Yes, it is morally right for a child to not have an oppurtunity to have a father. To be honest, some men don't deserve to have children, I repeat, SOME. And I feel that women should choose who they should share this privlage with, because if they can't find a man to treat them well, they shouldn't be forced into being with a man if they want a child they know they could raise just as well alone. Its morally wrong to marry someone who may not be a good father, or husband, just so a woman can enjoy raising and nurturing a child.

Motherhood is a wonderful thing. If other options are not correct, than single mom it is.
I know many single mom, successful families.
Yep...I would like to help some lady out.

Having a baby from a sperm bank is totally wrong, it is against the nature of human beings where a man marrying a woman will be equale to a family which is the first cell forming the society. The situation cannot be solved at the age of 40, a woman should consider having a husband since her 20's which is not the case of most girls in this country. Prefering the "boyfriend" most of the girls will be wasting their time and their life until they woke up but at that time it is too late.

Since when is what a woman wants more important than that of an unborn child who doesnt have a choice? Seriousmoms comment is probably the most ignorant of them all... Grow up or shut up? If you had any brains at all you would recognize that to grow up means to be responsible which in turn means make an effort to have a family before you bring a child into this world without a father just because its what you want. if you are that lonely get a pet instead of gambling with a human being.

There is no big deal if women want to have a child on there own and not have to deal with the everyday stress of men. Dont get me wrong men or great but sometimes they could drive you crazy. I came from a single parent home but mostly that was my moms fault she did not know who my dad I quote her... "There are too many men that I think is your father and I would feel embrasse to go and ask them to take a test to find out." But what about the impact it had on me. Some women are prepared to have children on there own and want to have them. My mom did not want me she kept me but she didnt want me. SHe dried to kill me three time while she was pregnant. My mom did not buy me clothes or feed me, My true mom was my grandmother she was there for me thru everything that happened in my life and the one thing that ticks me off about my childhood and my life and relationship with mom is that while growing she had nothing to do with me now she wants to have a mother-daughter relationship and I feel it is just to late. I am turning 21 in seven days and my one year anniversary of being married is tomorrow. I have my own life and family now. And I dont need her anymore and I never did need her. But my comment about this is that if a women if both emotionally and physically ready and prepared to have a child own her own then go far it. Just dont be a mom like my mom was because your child will never forget, they will forgive but want forget. I forgave my mom but that broken heart is still there inside me everytime I see her. God Bless and everyone have a happy and save weekend.

First I would like to say Good for you ladies!!!! Let me just say that every day a fauther leaves his child. I'm not talking about men who just aren't involved in the life of the child but fathers who have been dependanble! as for Mr Dereisz, some time even nice guys go bad. As a young woman whos dad walked out on me at an early age I was determaned not to have children with the next guy who happend to think I was a pritty face. I finaly found a man who was "the nice guy" We built our relationship together had children together and had a happy family life. We alwayse seemed to have a healthy sex life and I thought we were happy. Then he had some sort of midlife crycess and slept around with several of his employees. Now I have not only my daughters to worry about but there will be a new baby to complicate the situation. How to I teach my girls to be strong and independent without them seeing men in a negative way? How do you explain a new sibling from a different Mommy to a child when they only know their safe family life? I grew up very well without my abusive fauther and I am proud of all my mother did for me but I swore I would make a better choice. Now I'm stuck how do I forgive the man who has complicated all our lives. He has no intention to be with the young lady or the baby. So where does that leave them? How does she tell her daughter to respect herself when she is old enough to know what her mother did? So many people are out there making bad decisions and then not able to face the concequences and even worce they affect the children. I think if a woman is capable of taking care of herself and a child she should not be denied the happyness. So many women are forced in to being singe mothers and they live angry depressed lives. These women are not unaware that rasing a child alone is hard and they dont blame the children for oportunities lost. They don't have to tell their children that they were conceaved by shameful acts that will later demoralize them. And there children will never ask Why didn't my daddy want me?

I would like to point out that a reasonable fraction of people get married for reasons other than to become a wonderful parent. These are the women who have had their wedding planned out since they were 8 and get married to the first person who asks regardless of whether they have a secure future together. Also those women, who marold80 pointed out, rush into marriage just to have a child in a "socially exceptable" way only to get divorced later. No wonder the astronomical rate of divorce in this country. Why are these emotionally insecure people with little foresight more fit to have children than independent women who have thought about something other than marriage their entire lives? And please stop using the "selfish" admonishment, you know very well that married people are driven by the same "I want one" reason as single people. If you were really unselfish, you would adopt or not have children at all realizing how incredibly overpopulated the earth is and considering you have over a 50% chance of being a single parent yourself. People who marry much older, in their 30's, also have a much lower rate of divorce, so those single mothers who do eventually marry have a much higher probablility of providing a stable two parent household in the future. I think becoming a strong, independent and loving person is a lot better litmus test of whether you will be a good parent than the ability to walk down an aisle and I've yet to see the study that says that two crappy parents are better than one good one.

cowdragon
we can tell you haven't read yours in a while

Hmmm...we only have power and control over ourselves. We are responsible for our today and tomorrows. There are children and families throughout the world that are suffering from poverty, diseases and abuse that many of us can't imagine. Yet, we (including myself) invest time and energy critizing womens rights. As Americans we have the freedom of choice (...and speech) and that is a beautiful right to be born to. So, my thought is simple: live well, laugh often and forgive freely. There is nothing more sweet, humbling or perfect then the love of a child. (: