Knocking Yourself Up

While I don't doubt that many single mothers do a wonderful job of raising children (mine did as a widow), what concerns me is that the idea of inseminating onesself seems to discount the worth of a marriage or long-term relationship. Why do these women not consider adoption? My guess is that it's because they want someone to call "mine." All the supposed generosity and selflessness cannot be applied to a being that doesn't yet exist, so the immediate benefit is to the woman - not the coming baby - because she wants love and companionship she could not otherwise achieve. Please consider adoption (from THIS country). There are plenty of children who need families, whereas single mothers do not "need" a baby. True, you may not get a baby who looks like you but you can do something truly noble, not just bask in the tenuous glory of being so brave in "going it alone."

most girls are looking for somthing thats not out there and if you are waiting for the pefect person no wonder you are alone. we all have our faults most good lookign men are pigs while us less disirable are overlooked im good person and father but im overwieght and hard to find any girl to even give me a date while most still date the good looking ones that tend to use and abuse them. uhh go figure. so you write a book that says its ok to be a single mom its hard to raise children with both parents around do it single is not easy and other people end up raiseing your child. or your so tired you dotn want to play teach or play the never ending tug of war becouse you dont set limites and keep them wich is a fight kids grow up and become those that think they can do anything and will get out of it. so ladies give those nice men a chance omg you might meet a good person

blasphemy, HAHAHA! read your bible. I mean actually read it! Don't just pick through the nice parts that your pastor tells you to read. Read the whole thing. You will see many blasphemies.

most girls are looking for somthing thats not out there and if you are waiting for the pefect person no wonder you are alone. we all have our faults most good lookign men are pigs while us less disirable are overlooked im good person and father but im overwieght and hard to find any girl to even give me a date while most still date the good looking ones that tend to use and abuse them. uhh go figure. so you write a book that says its ok to be a single mom its hard to raise children with both parents around do it single is not easy and other people end up raiseing your child. or your so tired you dotn want to play teach or play the never ending tug of war becouse you dont set limites and keep them wich is a fight kids grow up and become those that think they can do anything and will get out of it. so ladies give those nice men a chance omg you might meet a good person

Have two parents doesn't always mean a child will have the best life, or more love or whatever it is these Jesus-loving people below seem to think they will get. I have a cousin who had one child and was pregnant with her second by the time she graduated high school. She was married and divorced by the time she was 20. Now neither of them wants their kids - the oldest one lives with Grandma and the youngest with Auntie, in two different states. Does having two parents really make a difference?
So why should a woman not inseminate if she wants a child? That way, she doesn't have to deal with some loser guy whenever he decides to pop in and out of that child's life - which is more damaging than not having a father at all...

as

autumnartist
if i had to guess, you started you marriage in sin, living together, haveing sex together and not following God's true desire in marriage

Lawelff D: This is not about the child. It is all about the women's needs and wants. What about the poor father who is working 2 jobs to pay you child support while you hang out at the mall. Get a job!

women like this lady need to realize that ugly people need not have babies. this kind of behavior is what is going to destroy america. men just dont want to be with retarded woman that thank they are so smart and are bitchy. like my self i found a very beautiful woman from another country that knows her place in the house and is happy to be there. stupid women in the US want all the same thangs as men but dont want to have to work as hard as men. like women in the military WOW what a joke. they dont have the same physical requirements but want to be treated the same?WTF. its all this womens rights crap thats why you can not find a man they dont want your kind!

If a woman can afford to be a single mom then great. It's the ones that get pregnant on purpose then go chasing after the sperm donor for child support that bother me.

Saying it's selfish is not a judgment at all. It's a fact. If you argue about that, it's very clear why you are single and have to knock yourself up. Regardless of who is doing it, male or female, it is irresponsible and selfish.

The mere fact that you should have something because you "want it" sounds like my 3 year old who, every time we drive past McDonald's wants to stop and eat. Pure Garbage. Take responsibility for your life and choices up to this point and accept the consequences. And for all you who say I'm being sexist, I say the same thing to ANY man who is remotely considering this. They need a Mom and a nuturer too, and not one that's going to be 60 by the time they graduate high school...but that isn't the issue at hand. The issue is old women knocking themselves up, not old men adopting.

Why in the world, if you REALLY loved your kid, would you bring him into a world without a father? I'm not talking about just any father, I'm talking about picking the right guy to be the father. Enough garbage about abusive dads and men who leave. PICK THE RIGHT GUY and keep gates closed until you do. If he seems like he would be a good husband, but not a good Dad, and you want kids...don't marry him. Take responsibility. Usually it is that you haven't made yourself available because you wanted to advance your career or haven't made yourself desirable aesthetically to someone else. Either way it is a choice, but both come with consequences. Are there exceptions to the rule, yes, but it just proves there is a rule. We have to talk in some absolutes or we would get no where.

Accidents happen. Does that mean we should stop driving in cars because there are car accidents? NO. Conversely, does it mean we should just wreck our car anyway since it's possible that it would happen? Obviously not. I truly do not understand the logic and reasoning of the, "Well, he might run off with a mistress, or we might get divorced..." yes, that is true, especially if you allow yourself that back door and don't choose a good spouse because you never had a good father figure. But that doesn't mean you should start out in a bad situation to try and overcome the odds. That's idiotic.

Get educated and read the studies about kids who don't have fathers in their lives...not just men who can somewhat fill that role like grandfathers or uncles...real fathers. If you still go through with it after that, I don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay. Have the decency to give them a sibling so they can suffer together.

Every time your kid sees a son with his father, he will know he never had that and wonder what he missed out on. Camping trips, building forts, coaching his teams, taking him to his job. THAT SUCKS, and to know that YOU CHOSE THAT FOR HIM. It wasn't something in life that happened. You just wanted a baby, and I hope he places that SQUARELY on your shoulders.

I am a mother of 2 and i want more kids and I dont see anything wrong with raising kids on your own ..... and lovefire i hear ya girl ....... and yes turkey basting will be one of my choices if i can not find a mate !

There is no pleasing anyone. If a woman becomes pregnant and decided to have an abortion than she is shunned. Now if she chooses to give life she is also shunned. I don't think that it is selfish at all to choose either. i think a woman has a right to decide either way. Now it would be nice to have an a-typical American family with mom, dad, 2.5 kids, 1.5 dog and 0.5 goldfish. But reality is a different factor. Having both parents a round isn't what it's cracked up to be. My father abused my mother and when I got old enough to say something he abused me to get to her. Physically and mentally. My mother stayed with him until I was 16 b/c she wanted me to have a father around. But it took me years of self destructive behavior to undue the mental damage he caused me. I am 30 now and can understand and reflect alot more. Thank God I learned to take responsibilities for my own actions b/c some in the same situation did not or have not. I also have been through enough failed relationships to come to the realization that I might be better off alone. But I love childeren and considered adopting. Many single women adopt as well. So what's the difference? Nothing. There is still a woman who has love in her heart and would like to share that love with the world through raising a child. Give these women the credit for choosing to do such a tremendously brave and demanding job on her own. And If God can bless them with a child than maybe He will bless them with a good man. And if not than so be it.

most girls are looking for somthing thats not out there and if you are waiting for the pefect person no wonder you are alone. we all have our faults most good lookign men are pigs while us less disirable are overlooked im good person and father but im overwieght and hard to find any girl to even give me a date while most still date the good looking ones that tend to use and abuse them. uhh go figure. so you write a book that says its ok to be a single mom its hard to raise children with both parents around do it single is not easy and other people end up raiseing your child. or your so tired you dotn want to play teach or play the never ending tug of war becouse you dont set limites and keep them wich is a fight kids grow up and become those that think they can do anything and will get out of it. so ladies give those nice men a chance omg you might meet a good person

I know women who, for whatever reason, have been left to rear a child on their own and have done more than a wonderful job, and I commend them. However, women can never be fathers, no matter how hard we try, or rationalize that a father figure isn???t needed, and so it is selfish for women to willingly become single mothers. I completely understand the desire to be a mother because I do want to have children. However, if these women really want a child, then there are more than enough parentless, needy children in the world that they can adopt without having to purposely bring yet another child into this world without a dad.

Saying it's selfish is not a judgment at all. It's a fact. If you argue about that, it's very clear why you are single and have to knock yourself up. Regardless of who is doing it, male or female, it is irresponsible and selfish.

The mere fact that you should have something because you "want it" sounds like my 3 year old who, every time we drive past McDonald's wants to stop and eat. Pure Garbage. Take responsibility for your life and choices up to this point and accept the consequences. And for all you who say I'm being sexist, I say the same thing to ANY man who is remotely considering this. They need a Mom and a nuturer too, and not one that's going to be 60 by the time they graduate high school...but that isn't the issue at hand. The issue is old women knocking themselves up, not old men adopting.

Why in the world, if you REALLY loved your kid, would you bring him into a world without a father? I'm not talking about just any father, I'm talking about picking the right guy to be the father. Enough garbage about abusive dads and men who leave. PICK THE RIGHT GUY and keep gates closed until you do. If he seems like he would be a good husband, but not a good Dad, and you want kids...don't marry him. Take responsibility. Usually it is that you haven't made yourself available because you wanted to advance your career or haven't made yourself desirable aesthetically to someone else. Either way it is a choice, but both come with consequences. Are there exceptions to the rule, yes, but it just proves there is a rule. We have to talk in some absolutes or we would get no where.

Accidents happen. Does that mean we should stop driving in cars because there are car accidents? NO. Conversely, does it mean we should just wreck our car anyway since it's possible that it would happen? Obviously not. I truly do not understand the logic and reasoning of the, "Well, he might run off with a mistress, or we might get divorced..." yes, that is true, especially if you allow yourself that back door and don't choose a good spouse because you never had a good father figure. But that doesn't mean you should start out in a bad situation to try and overcome the odds. That's idiotic.

Get educated and read the studies about kids who don't have fathers in their lives...not just men who can somewhat fill that role like grandfathers or uncles...real fathers. If you still go through with it after that, I don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay. Have the decency to give them a sibling so they can suffer together.

Every time your kid sees a son with his father, he will know he never had that and wonder what he missed out on. Camping trips, building forts, coaching his teams, taking him to his job. THAT SUCKS, and to know that YOU CHOSE THAT FOR HIM. It wasn't something in life that happened. You just wanted a baby, and I hope he places that SQUARELY on your shoulders.

most girls are looking for somthing thats not out there and if you are waiting for the pefect person no wonder you are alone. we all have our faults most good lookign men are pigs while us less disirable are overlooked im good person and father but im overwieght and hard to find any girl to even give me a date while most still date the good looking ones that tend to use and abuse them. uhh go figure. so you write a book that says its ok to be a single mom its hard to raise children with both parents around do it single is not easy and other people end up raiseing your child. or your so tired you dotn want to play teach or play the never ending tug of war becouse you dont set limites and keep them wich is a fight kids grow up and become those that think they can do anything and will get out of it. so ladies give those nice men a chance omg you might meet a good person

Yes, I used a doner and yes I wonder what I will tell my baby when she asks. I hope that she has a father in her life by then and maybe she won't be so hard pressed about her biology but if not then I can only be truthful and tell her that I love her now and even before she was concieved and that having a biological dad doesn't make you anybetter than someone who doesn't . I love her and that is all to that.

once again, you claim that your god says it is not right, or it is morally wrong. Well I got news for you, my Gods and Goddesses don't see a problem with it. So now what? If we put it to a vote, you only have two gods (two if you count jesus) where I got about 30.