Knocking Yourself Up

Having been a single mother (after divorce) I don't recommend it. There is a reason for a couple (not just man and women) to raise children....One needs a break! There is a give and take in child rearing. I made it through, but would never want to do it solo again!!!

While this topic is very interesting I'd caution everyone to not take this specific article too seriously. It is written in such a way that any sources seem to make certain assertions, most of them inclined to some sort of anti-male slant.

For example, take the paragraph that starts "Controversy aside, what effect does a fatherless household actually have on kids?". The author of the article asks this question then goes on to quote some statistics about single parent households. Single-PARENT; not single mother households.

The author writes "He looked at the adverse effects of single parenthood on 1,500 12- and 13-year-olds across the United States and found what mattered most to a child's well-being was not just two parents, but a mother's education and ability level." Like before, this phrase is written to skew the information to her agenda. In actuality the study more than likely revealed that what matters most to a child's well-being was a PARENT'S education and ability level, not specifically a mother's.

Another example of her anti-male slant is the use of this quote "'Do men bring something unique in the raising of a child?'" It's followed up with a lame attempt at PC. She puts in these little jabs and spins and then to not appear prejudiced she adds a PC comment.

If you read the article through, keeping your emotions in check, you'll notice she often spins the "sources" and quotes in the article to imply that they are agreeing with her anti-male POV instead of simply giving facts. Try to spot how many times a source says "single-parent" or "biological parent" and she follows up with a phrase like "sinlge mother" all the while neglecting the other half.

Either this author is very stupid for making a poorly written article or she is very smart for trying to manipulate the audience. I'd like to think it's the former but in this age of sensationalism, I think it's the latter.

I believe that every woman has the choice of being single parent but, do children have the right to have both parents involve in their lives?

In my opinion, it is quite wreckless for a woman to decide to have a child without a man in the picture. My has worked with children with mental and physical dissabilities and I have had many opportunities to spend time with these children. It has been made extremely clear to me that children need to have both a constant female and constant male figure in their lives. The children who did not have a father at home were severely starved for the attention of a male figure. In each of these cases, these children constantly asked my wife when I was coming back and when I did, they engaged in the type of play that they were clearly not able to do with their mothers, such as wrestling and other physically intensive types of play that are often looked down upon by women. It seems clear that a child needs the kinds of experiences brought by a responsible mother and father, since each sex tends to only partake in certain activities, all of which can be beneficial to children.

In the book, do they cover what, how and when to tell the children where they come from? Are there any studies that show what goes on mentally and emotionally with the "baster babies" when they learn of their origins? Would be great to know how "getting what we want" affects others in the scenario, so just curious.

I feel as if its a great thing to go ahead and take the plunge if you are stable! I myself have not found prince charming and am rapidly approching the time that my biological clock is ticking! I don't think it has anything to do with the men of today! I think women are finally realizing, hey i don't dont have to HAVE a man to do certain things in life! I have looked at the option and will persue it if i feel i am stable enough to raise a child!

Basically, as some people have already said. It takes, love, a steady income, a healthy environment, and someone who can just be there for their children and not when its convenient for themselves. If a single woman can give love to a child, does have a steady income, can provide a healthy environment, and will be there for their child, then there shouldn't be a problem with women raising a child by themselves. However, I think those sorts of things should be checked into first by the hospitals that promote artificial insemenation before anyone is impregnated.

As far as the men out there saying that women can be just as dirty, mean, and cold-hearted as men, and what about the "nice" guys, and all of that other jazz... please, as much as I agree, this is about women's choice to having a child because THEY can't find the right person. According to several statistics I've seen, there is a larger number of women on the planet than men.; I'm not worried. Stop looking, live your life, and grand things will happen if you think positive, because women definitely don't want to be with someone who gives up.

Anyways, back on topic: Love, steady income, healthy environment, time for child (children) = GO FOR IT!

The consensus of science and everyone on this board is that the best thing for a child is to have two loving parents in the home. While it is not always possible, I don't know any one who would choose something else for themselves if given the option.

So how can a woman claim to have the best interests of her child at heart and yet choose to bring the child into a situation that is less than the best? You claim to love the child and yet choose to deny it that which will help it the most..a mother and a father at home. No college fund, no private tutor, no stand-in part-time male role model can fill the void left in a life without a child. There are some people who are single parents due to circumstances beyond their control, but to willfully choose single parenthood is like slapping your child and kissing them at the same time. Just ask yourself one question: if you could choose between having a loving mother and a father, or just having a loving mother, which would you choose? So why give your child any less?

CollegeGal, men aren't intimated by that as long as the woman doesn't ask for child support... We could care less if women think they are capable.

555

News flash for lithoMan: Just because you have both parents in your home does not equate to one of them being home to supervise the children. In California, 68% of two parent households both are out working full time!

Reply to Snowflake: I sure as hell will be playing sports with him and helping him build a tree house. " ... You sure as hell will NOT after you find out what parenthood is all about and how hard it is to make that time especially when you have to work full-time. Only works on TV so wake up.

Spockman

I never said men weren't attracted to me. I said I have trouble FINDING a quality man.

Does anyone remeber the woman who stole sperm from a guy she had sex with, turkey basted her way into motherhood with it and then took him to court and sued him for child support? She won it, too.
Nice.

I just wonder if those college age guys have thought about the possibility that some of these women using their sperm might fall on hard times and find a way to legally sue for support for their children.

I guess freedom of choice is a one way street and only serves if you are the female making the choice.

the problem is the Abrahamic religious traditions of a patriarch having not only the right, but the duty to run the household. I am a guy! I love boobs and contact sports! I also love my wife and am happy that we are both equal in our marraige.

Some of you guys out there are feeling a little insecure at loosing your positin as the alpha it seems. You start calling peopl names and then get all defensive when someone does it back. You think you are a moral majority but can't find a woman to breed with.

These ladies are disgusted that there are so many of you losers out there and are taking matters into their own hands. We already outnumber your "moral majority" but soon you will all simply disappear, like the dinosaurs... you are big and loud, but with teeny tiny brains. Glad to see you go myself. Go ladies go!

well I my children (from me and m loving wife) dont have to live next to or in the same city. I've seen first hand how hard this can be, ( I had only a mother no DAD) for the mother and the child. I even read studies that support how wrong this is human babies need both parent equally. Very sad times we live in Full of selfish people who put themself's before every thing and one. PS I live in Phoenix where a single mom is being charged for murder, because she left her baby in the parking lot where she worked and told the father and friends how she want her freedom back!! So yeah good idea replace Pricpals with fads and watch all go drown the drain

I think men are getting scared and intimidated by the fact that women can now live their lives independently and freely. This is no longer the 50s and women do not need to have a man around to have a decent life. She can go to college, get a good job, pay her own bills, buy her own house, and "now" have a child on her own. I think it hurts men to know that women are choosing the "turkey basters" over them. I guess if I was a man, I would be intimidated too.

Is it so difficult to see that there are both good mothers and good fathers in this world? A good father can help make up for the shortcomings a not so good mother and vise versa. A child, who is lucky enough to grow up in a loving house with both parents, has that safety net in place. This does not mean that a single parent can???t provide the same love and care for a child, if not more, than a married couple. It depends on the individual and the couple involved. I'm a single father, two smart, independent, and may I add, gorgeous daughters who are the center of my world. It is hard to imagine a child of mine ???out there??? whose life I am not a part of ??? so I am concerned about the genetics spread through using sperm banks ??? can the ???loving father gene??? be wiped out over time? Seriously, more than anything a child needs unconditional love, if a married couple provides that love or a single parent, it makes no difference. Stability and security, the ???manly??? contribution, is another benefit but the key is stability and too many marriages fail to provide that.

Someone mentioned "a generation of men raised by women." That is interesting because, if you think about it, ALL MEN WERE RAISED BY WOMEN. Yes, it's true. Throughout history, the men were gone (to war, hunters/gatherers) and the women were the ones instilling the values and thoughts of the boys who eventually grew up to be the people other women didn't like. Isn't it frightening to think that all of those Muslim men were actually first influenced by their mothers who passed on the way they think and further perpetuated by their fathers - whether absentee or not? (By the way, yes, I am a woman.) In my opinion, when the mindset of the women who raise all children can be directed to tolerance of all, mankind as a whole may make some progress. Yes, I had one daughter and raised her alone after her father went to South America to play house with another woman. Oh, by the way, my daughter has graduated from college, magna *** laude, and is gainfully employed. So much for teen pregnancy, dropout and burden on society.