Knocking Yourself Up

I think this is going to end uo the same way that the abortion debate does. Christains are going to be against it because the woman has been impregnated out of wed-lock and the Democcrats are going to be for it because it has great value from a lberalistic view. Feminists are going to be for it because it promotes womens choice, while Conservatives are going to be against it because its not something thats been done for the last millenia. My opinion is that as abortion, we need to leave this stuff up to the individual woman, as each woman's needs and reasons are different. But no matter what those needs and differences are, a woman, generally speaking, is as competent at raising a child as a two parent team is. And I think the guy who made the statement at the bottom is right. In cases where men have been involved in raising a kid TAKE RESPONSIBILTY. and women? GIVE THE GUY A CHANCE! If he helped you have the kid, let him see his kid!
~Danielle, 17

Is it so difficult to see that there are both good mothers and good fathers in this world? A good father can help make up for the shortcomings a not so good mother and vise versa. A child, who is lucky enough to grow up in a loving house with both parents, has that safety net in place. This does not mean that a single parent can???t provide the same love and care for a child, if not more, than a married couple. It depends on the individual and the couple involved. I'm a single father, two smart, independent, and may I add, gorgeous daughters who are the center of my world. It is hard to imagine a child of mine ???out there??? whose life I am not a part of ??? so I am concerned about the genetics spread through using sperm banks ??? can the ???loving father gene??? be wiped out over time? Seriously, more than anything a child needs unconditional love, if a married couple provides that love or a single parent, it makes no difference. Stability and security, the ???manly??? contribution, is another benefit but the key is stability and too many marriages fail to provide that.

I think it is disgusting that a woman would choose to have a child out of wedlock on purpose. I think every child deserves the right to have a mom and a dad. A child needs both parents. A woman, I don't care who she is, cannot teach a boy to be a man. Is that what all you feminist nazi b i t c h e s out there want? I suppose you probably do since you think men are so worthless. You are NOT putting the needs of the child first but your own. It's what YOU want, not what's best for the child. How selfish can you be? If you are finding nothing but bad men, what does that say about you? Perhaps your picker is broken or perhaps you are not a quality person. After all, like usually goes with like.

Did you think your father was unnecessary or unimportant? What about any brothers, cousins or other male relatives that you may have. Do you think they are unworthy? Do you despise all men?

In this world of "different familes", I think it is important to try a preserve the traditional family.

You DO NOT have the RIGHT to bring a child into this world just because it is what YOU want. Parenting is a very tough job for 2 parents; I know from experience. It's an even tougher job for a single parent.

Give your children a chance to have a father. No, you don't have to settle for just anybody, but as I said previously, if you are a quality person, you'll find a quality person to have children with. Sometimes you just have to be patient. And knock off the selfish, me, me, me crap!

tehgurl Don't assume. Almost all of my friends are married and yes I date, and yes I have done the internet thing. By unlucky in love I mean I have been cheated on and f*ed over so many time I have not found the partner to marry and have kids with, yet I would love to have kids.

I became a single mother by choice at age 38. It wasn't a decision that I took lightly. I received a lot of positive support from family, friends, and co-workers.
For those who think Day Care is a bad place haven't been in one lately, Before my daughter was born, I researched the day care laws of my state so that when I interviewed day care providers, I would know what to expect. We have nothing but good memories of her time in day care.
I waited until I was at a point in my life where I was financially able to support a child. It is challenging sometimes but we do okay. I have also been able to save a bit of money for her college education. Its easy for me to make sacrifices when I need to. Being an older mother, I got a lot of things out of my system when I was younger so I don't feel I am missing out on anything.
I always felt that I wanted to be a mother. Why is it selfish for me to want a child and not selfish for a married couple? I don't see the difference. My child is no less loved. She is 14 now, happy, and enjoys school. We have a lot of good times together. She is the most important person in my life. I feel so lucky to live in a time when the technology was available to give my daughter to me.

The quality of any parent can not be measured by whether they are involved in a successful relationship, whether it be marriage or long term commitment. The quality of putting your childrens best interest before your own does not come with the sanction of marriage! Children are more damaged by a strained relationship between parents than by only being raised by one. If that one commits themselves to the children's best interests the child can grow being happy and healthy. I don't know about any of you other parents but if my children are happy, I am doing a good job!

Your comment is absolutely repulsive and ignorant. Get an education and join the civilized world Neanderthal aka MensRights101.

dont assume that a women can raise a child better then a man. and visa versa. I all comes down to the indiviual and i feel sorry for the children of some of you. you need to realize that perhaps you got a bad mate but not everyone of the opposite gender is worthless or misguided. that only means that you are misguided and uninformed.

dealwithit, YOU----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------the point.

That's about how far you missed it. I never said anything about being married, did I? As for your respect.....neither asked for it nor require it.

(heavy sigh)..... yet again the value of men is reduced. Perhaps one day when we're completely useless and unwanted or needed, we can all get in our space ships and go back to Mars. Viva la Vasectomy!!

Ok, so this article is NOT about being able to find "Mr. Right". This is about a woman's choice about having children without a husband or boyfriend. I was not meant to offend males everywhere (atleast i hope). People should be aware of that

to Pmendez- what "get back to basics' are you talking about? Please answer before I assume you're talking about women being the dominated half and every woman has to dismiss your comments entirely...

9yards - EXCELLENT point. How come when a man's a single father, he's showered with love, but single mothers get beaten down? Double standard? I think so.

I have a couple of points to make here.

1) I heartily disagree this is being selfish and women are tossing men to the side. I???m in my late 30???s, well educated, professional and financially secure. I???m single by chance rather than by choice. Most of my friends are also late 30???s/early 40???s and in the same boat ??? some are divorced, some haven???t found Mr. Right. Do any of us ???need??? a man in our lives? We???ve taken care of ourselves this long, so probably not. Do we ???want??? a man in our lives? Absolutely 100% yes! He just hasn???t shown up yet!

That being said, all of us are also 100% facing a looming biological clock and it is starting to tick a lot louder than it did a few short years ago. Just because our lives have not played out with the fairy tale ending and white picket fence, why should we be denied motherhood when that is an option and we are perfectly capable of raising a child on our own? I can???t think of anything I can do in this life that would be more important.

2) As for not having a father around, how many women are out there raising their children because the father chose not to be there or something happened to him? How many fathers? These parents aren???t being criticized. How many of us are a product of a single parent home and turned out just fine? Having a father and mother around is the ideal, but let???s face it ??? that???s not a guarantee even if you start out like that.

3) There???s a movie coming out called ???Martian Child??? where a widowed father played by John Cusack adopts a child on his own. Why haven???t I seen any comments posted about this guy being selfish or negating the need for a wife or mother? Just because women can physically have their child and can make that choice, why should we be held to a different standard?

I don???t see this as women being selfish or men bashing. I see this as having an option to have a family in the time I have left to make that happen.
ASH

Posted By: Suzette1973 @ 11/02/2007 3:38:02 PM
Comment: And on Father's Day, these kids do what? Buy a tie for the turkey baster?

Is that a criterion in your list of reasons to get married? Wow! Now I have so much more respect for you.

I had both a mother and a father. My father was an abusive drunk who eventualy decided to pull a gun on my mom. So she divorced him. I'd have to say that I have done exceedingly well for not having a father. All you have to look at is divorce rates and look at the statistics on dead-beat dads who have nothing to do with their children to realize that there are more than a few men who don't want to be dads even though they are. It's better I think if a woman wants to have a child and has actually put some thought into it to have one if she wants. Adoption is a good option too. Knowing what is involved and making sure you have the financial ability to raise a child is important. I grew up dirt poor and I am one of the few of my family to break free of that (my mom did as well, she didn't want me to suffer). I look at my cousins and see families with two parents, all uneducated and poor and in jail more time than out of it. You can't tell me that all it takes is two parents to have a child grow up loved and to be a decent person, what it takes is at least one parent who gives there kid love, support and is involved in their lives.

Oh my God FINEWINE. You have got to be kidding me. "I am in the Miss USA pagent but can't find a quality man". Perhaps men are turned off by your modesty.

to amcguire12: I know plenty of married women having children in order to fulfill the fantasy of living "happily ever after". Even if it means bringing a child into a bad marriage that is doomed.