Knocking Yourself Up

Sorry for your situation, Emily, but if you encourage this then you are perpetuating the problem as most of these men are children that were also fatherless or had VERY BAD EXAMPLES. I was just saying my father was the only decent man I was able to see until I stood up to the kind of man you're talking about and figured out why i noticed him in the first place. Good men are made by good parents for the most part. You haven't seen the other side, but I have seen more than I ever wished. Women can be just as bad but it's more psycological - especially when it comes to MOTHERHOOD!!!

You and your mother were lucky then, to have been blessed with a man who was so devoted as a husband and father. Not every failed relationship can be chalked up to a woman being " selfish and unable to love"... I think you are forgetting one important factor. Women outnumber men, and when you take into the eqation those men who are absoloutly not fit for marriage due to drug/alcohol abuse, refusal to work, abusiveness, etc.... It's no wonder some women, even the beautiful, intelligent, and kind ones, can't find a man. A good one is snatched up fast, and there aren't as many good ones as a woman who has not seen the worst the world has to offer might believe there are. In short, a woman's ability to find a man, has little if any bearing on the kind of mother she would be.
I find that the people who are most judgmental, and narrow minded are those who have been blessed the most. Ironic really.
~Emily~

Wow, it's one thing to accidentally have a child out of wedlock (although it's still wrong), it's another to choose to defy God and nature.

Wow, it's one thing to have a bastard child accidentally, it's another to choose to defy God and nature.

It's sad really that a woman who can't seem to figure out how to have a happy successful relationship would go to this extreme and bring a child into her situation. Maybe these women will figure it out when the child grows up to be just like her - selfish and unable to love. Did anyone ever wonder if that's what's wrong in the first place? Do yourself a favor and see what you might have done to create your situation instead of creating a situation for a helpless fatherless child. There are good men but they're looking for good women who will take a good hard look at themselves!

If it were all about the children these women would clearly adopt because there are so many children who need love that are already available. Maybe these women will figure it out when the children grow up to be selfish and unable to love - just like their mother that needed a child but was too selfish to seek out the motherless child who needed love.

Hopefully you will still want this beautiful boy when he is a teen being birthed into adulthood.

I'm an educated single parent with a son in college and a daugther soon to be. It's been a challenge and yes, I would have loved to have been married, it would have been nice to be able to share the responsiblity of taking care of them but it's been a wonderful situation for all of us. My kids are fairly well adjusted, intelligent and very kind people. I'm proud of them and I'm very proud of how I managed on my own.

i understand the devestating statistics of children who are raised in single parent homes. however, i think these figures are somewhat outdated and scewed. What the children are missing is something that can be missing in all homes, single parent or not. It's a matter of logistics. If these single moms are willing to go the extra mile to assure their children recieve what they need in order to suceed, more power to them!!

Well put, ConsciousMan!

This is a very difficult situation. I can feel for these women who find themselves at 40 going on and still no mate is around and there is that strong desire to be a mother. If I was in that position I might consider it, but that???s only one side of the story. No matter how hard the liberal society tries, a man role can never be replaced in a child???s life. These women are fooling themselves, just look on black America. Black America is suffering the effects of single parent???s home (more than racism could do) and white America seems to be catching up. The problem in black America is reflected in all type of social delinquencies. I must agree that some of these children turn out very well but these are the exception NOT THE NORM. Life is like that. You will find social delinquents event from well balance loving homes but this is not the NORM, it???s the exception. No matter how much money you have children need both parents. Yes, the child may grow up and be well educated but there will be physiological voids and inadequacies in most of these children. The reason why some of my black sisters can???t keep a man stem from the fact some never saw there mother take care of a man or what???s it involves to live with a man. The same goes for my black brothers also, they never saw their fathers taking care of their mothers or children. These women only know what it is to be a single mother and their daughters in a lot of case will follow suit. I am very scared for the next generation. How can two *** women teach a boy to be a man or two homosexual men a girl to be a woman? How can these relationships produce children which understand how to love members of the opposite sex in healthy and wholesome way? These single women may not have these extreme situations to cope with but any home without a father will be lacking. I see these children from single parent homes and other un-ideal homes; some are angry and have a host of issues. When these children come into our schools its confusions, teachers are force to take on roles that the government can???t pay them to do and teaching becomes difficult. Society will suffer in the long run.

I understand the desire of older, unmarried women to have a child of their own. That said, children of these single women may experience some disadvantages in life. There actually DOES exist research that shows that children of 2 parent households (in a happy marriage/relationship) do have an advantage later on in life in being able to establish their own relationships. When children are exposed (from a young age on) to a positive marriage/relationship, they are more easily able to model the behaviors seen and apply them to their own love relationships. They, on average, are less likely to divorce. However, keep in mind that I am NOT condoning staying in a marriage if it is unhappy. These results only held true for those marriages deemed happy.

If you cannot find the Right Person, then you are looking in the Wrong Places. The first issue that needs to be addressed is knowing yourself and who is right for you. If you cannot find anyone right for you, then how can you be sure that you and the child will be right for each other? The child is likely to share some qualities with its father, which will be beyond your control. I can't think of anything more important in this world than decisions like these. All else will be subordinate to who you are and what you decide to do. You will be making all the decisions. The child will have no choice in the matter.

I did not use a turkey baster, nor did I purposely get pregnant with a one night stand. In fact, after a brief marriage to Mr. Wrong, and a long relationship/engagement to Mr. Wrong #2, I did not think it was possible to become pregnant. But here I am in my late 30's, happily single, more than financially independent, and suprisingly pregnant. Did I plan this? No. Did I consider abortion? No (although I do believe it's a woman's choice.) I know it will not be easy (an understatement) to raise a child on my own, but my child will have more love than if I had him/her with bad men. I grew up with a wonderful adopted father and a not-so-wonderful adopted mother. I know how important 2 parents can be, but really, who out there can say that they had a wonderful father AND a wonderful mother. Most people are lucky to have ONE wonderful parent, and that's what I know I will be.

I grew up without my father. Instead, I endured my mother's many husbands, boyfriends and infatuations. When I finally met him, my father proved to be a very intelligent, hard-working man. It was my mother who was the ruinous one. I have done very well despite attending 15 schools by age 17. Now, I've been married for over 30 years with four kids of my own. I wish I'd had my father's guidance and insights, but I did not. Instead, I did everything I could do to not repeat anything my mother ever did. I value nothing of hers. Whatever she did, I did the opposite. And Lo! My life has been magical.

I would love to be present when this female tells her son that his Father is a turkey baster..

Great stuff girrrlllss..