Knocking Yourself Up

to Suzette1973 Your Comment: "today blames his problems on his mother because he never had a father. he's an alcoholic, an absent father, and is clinically depressed, and has attempted suicide more than once.": Sounds exactly like my ex - except that he had a wonderful father and mother -- it sounds like your brother-in-law is just using that as an excuse as to why he doesn't want to take responsibility in life and be a man??? and you give him your pity ??? --RIDICULOUS!!! I know wonderful stable men raised by single mothers with absent fathers.

We cannot judge an entire world of single mothers when everyone is different -- every situation is different. Mothers by choice, mothers not by choice...there are women getting pregnant to trap a man, women getting pregnant in hopes to save their marriage, or for company because their spouse leaves them lonely -- They aren't putting the intense thought and consideration that Mothers by CHOICE are when looking into this option. Most of these woman put intense thought into this decision and have the means to raise a child better than most two income families and have the time and the love to give their child and research how this will affect their child and what is the best way to raise their child to be secure and happy. I am sure there are a few selfish women in this group, but again, you cannot judge everyone the same. heathen753 -- God Bless you for having enough love to want to share of yourself and your entire life with YOUR CHILD and to help YOUR CHILD grow into a wonderful loving understanding adult that otherwise would not have existed in this world! God Bless mothers by choice that know children are not puppies, and put their heart and soul into making such a tough decision on their own!!

In today's society, marriage no longer holds the same connotation as it did 20 years ago. Today, in many marriages, women play the roles of both husband and wife. They still have to manage the household and do all of the work that is considered "wifely", but also help in supporting the household financially. In some cases, married women provide the main source of support for the family. So, in essence, marriage to a woman only means taking on one more person to take care of. I, personally, see no advantage for a woman in marriage. I raise a flag for those that decide they can have a family without a man. At least this way, children don't have to experience the trauma of divorce.

Stalin would be proud! Keep up the good work fellow comrades!

Almost all men call themselves 'great quality' and behave 'great' before marriage. Once married most of them turn into 'one of the kids' the wife is 'supposed' to take care of regardless if she is a full time employed or a stay-at-home. I support the concept of a woman having the choice to have a child without a husband, if she has the earning power and intellectual capability to bring up a kid in the best possible manner.

i am sorry that most of the women posting here have been poorly treated by men but please do not assume we are all that way. That has to be my biggest complaint is that women get dumped on by one man and now all of us are the devil. And men take a little responsiblity. You wanted you night of fun with that women and now you blame her for being pregnent. Suck it up and at least be civil to her and try to provide for YOUR child.
I am a 28 year old male raised by both parents so i consider myself lucky.

Looking for Mr. Right? Why don't women work harder at being Mrs. Right than a Mr. Right themselves. Feminisism has swung the pendelum so far, women are too much like men and in all sincerity, men get NATURALLY turned-off by that. It's not how we were created. Sure the sex may be great in the beginning, but you'll be bitter and old by the time you figured that you've been "had" by extreme femenism. Get back to basics before time passes you by.

What about all the guys out there that would like children but are unlucky in love? Not many options for us is there?

Well as far as I'm concerned one thing which is being overlooked is that there is a reason marriage usually predates children: you need elements from a man and a woman to have a child. Regardless if these women are "independant" and knock themselves up, science is not up to a point where a child can be made without sperm from a male and an egg from a woman. So as "independant" as these women may think they are they are still in need of men and sperm banks to allow them to have a child, lest they hoar themselves out in desperation. Males do not share this ability, our only option would be to adopt, and adopting as a single father may prove difficult. In the case of lesbians, in this case I do see the point of artificial insemination as they have no choice but can still offer two parents to the child. I agree that it is foolhearty to believe that if you are incapable in finding/being with a good man to have a child with, that such a personality fault will not create problems in the child. I personally see the single parent phenomenom as an epidemic, and having women now TRY to be single moms is only going to make it worse IMO. I am all for women's rights but I think this is too far as who is going to protect the childrens' rights? We need to if anything learn from our forefathers and take social steps to reduce divorce, encourage marriage and two parent homes across the nation.

NEWSFLASH....................Men age like fine wine, women sour like milk. There you have it ladies. You wait too long to find a decent mate, no quality man will want you because you are simply past your prime and lost your looks. The golden age of child bearing years is from 25 to 35 for women. Please don't tell me 40 is the new 30. That's great keep feeding your self lies. Single men looking to have a family are searching for a suitable spouse of the correct child bearing age, who can offer companionship, not be self-centered, and a good peaceful homemaker. If I sound like I came out of the 1950's then get over yourself. I am a modern day man, though not a full fledged metrosexual. My point is if a women can't cook, clean, RAISE children, as well as maintain a career, then I don't want her. The complain about not enough good men is pure bull****. These women complain because they obvioulsy have a mental defect and chronically go after the wrong man. They should look in the mirror before writing off the enite male gender.
+

Looking for Mr. Right? Why don't women work harder at being Mrs. Right than a Mr. Right themselves. Feminisism has swung the pendelum so far, women are too much like men and in all sincerity, men get NATURALLY turned-off by that. It's not how we were created. Sure the sex may be great in the beginning, but you'll be bitter and old by the time you figured that you've been "had" by extreme femenism. Get back to basics before time passes you by.

NewGen - Did you miss the whole point of what I wrote? Yes a woman can do those things but there a certain things women cannot do for young men growing up, I am not a sexist but speaking from experience my mother simply did not teach me things fathers would.

If any woman thinks it is her right to have children by themselves and deprive the child of a real father, she needs serious help. Men seem to have become less of men these days and actually some are afraid of women or of a committment. They need serious help also. So before this world becomes full of kids that will have to be raised by the government, wake up and read what the bible has to say about all this.

I think that thse kinds of studies are crazy. I myself have a three month old son, I am nineteen and am not married. My son's father is not involved at all, and I choice to raise my child alone. I have a good paying job, I am putting myself through school. I choose this situattion for us because I figured he would grow up in a loving and caring environment with me, opposed to a hostile, and unstable one. I am not being "selfish" and I think anyone who says I am needs a serious reality check. It is not easy to wake up multiple times a night, every night, and feed a crying baby. But I do it, all by my self, every night. When I don't have anyone to watch my son while I work, there is only me worrying about day-care and frantically calling baby sitters. I am the only one that worries about Christmas presents, college funds, and upper respiratory infections. But I do this, because I love my son, and I believe I am providing the best life for him that is possible. Maybe women are choosing to be single parents because we know that we can get the job done, and do it right.

Hey babs2007. Not recently dumped. just sick and tired of listening to middle aged women who have been passed over by every available man complain about not bering able to find "Mr.Right". Or their prince charming or Mr. Perfect. They are being passed over for a reason. If they were at all marketable they would be taken off the market. My point is that you have women who have passed their prime thinking they can hoook up with men in the middle of their prime. Men like that are not going to marry 40 year old women who want kids. What man in his right mind want to be raising kids in his late 50's. Let alone paying the child support that he has a better than 50% chance of having to pay when the marriage ends.

Predatory women? Wow, that comment had to come from a man. My mother raised my siser and me on her own. She never tried to force my father into sending child support becuase she knew he could not pay. If it happened that he actually came up with a little extra money, than my mother would not have to take us to 'dollar-a-bag' day sale at the thrift shop for our school clothes that year. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Well as far as I'm concerned one thing which is being overlooked is that there is a reason marriage usually predates children: you need elements from a man and a woman to have a child. Regardless if these women are "independant" and knock themselves up, science is not up to a point where a child can be made without sperm from a male and an egg from a woman. So as "independant" as these women may think they are they are still in need of men and sperm banks to allow them to have a child, lest they hoar themselves out in desperation. Males do not share this ability, our only option would be to adopt, and adopting as a single father may prove difficult. In the case of lesbians, in this case I do see the point of artificial insemination as they have no choice but can still offer two parents to the child. I agree that it is foolhearty to believe that if you are incapable in finding/being with a good man to have a child with, that such a personality fault will not create problems in the child. I personally see the single parent phenomenom as an epidemic, and having women now TRY to be single moms is only going to make it worse IMO. I am all for women's rights but I think this is too far as who is going to protect the childrens' rights? We need to if anything learn from our forefathers and take social steps to reduce divorce, encourage marriage and two parent homes across the nation.

My husband and I have six perfect children. Though my spouse doesn't do things the way that I'd do them, doesn't discipline the way that I'd like, doesn't always say the right things; he's wonderful. Love is about holding on to those things that are good and not minding those things that aren't so perfect. I'd still be waiting to marry if I wanted someone perfect, but I don't feel like I've settled. I seriously doubt that anyone masturbating into a cup over a porn mag would be a better father than my husband.
He's a good man. He became a better man when we had children, and they adore him. Just the thought of disappointing their dad is enough to make them strive to do better. He holds that kind of power just because he's "Dad." I can't understand it. Science can't figure out why fathers are so important, but they are. Uncles and grandfathers and even a good stepfather can't compare to what a real biological father can do to help a child. CHOOSING to deny a child that just because YOU want a baby is SELFISH.
People are single moms not by choice, and I commend them for all they do, but choosing to have a baby without a dad is like choosing to have a child without a home, without a name, without proper care.

This is to (angel050802 @ 11/02/2007 3:14:57 PM)....I just wanted to say BRAVO!!! You made very good points. Each situation is different and no one should judge any other party until walking in their shoes. I am a single mom due to divorce. My child is a well rounded, very intelligent kid and I am the sole person involved in her life. her father sees her on alternating weekends. I notice people throw their opinions around very easily when they havent experienced what the heck they are giving opinions on. Lets all try and find something more interesting to gripe about.