Knocking Yourself Up

right jneville7777, I'm sure you'll be a great husband and father until a younger, hotter woman crosses your path. The biology of the male species of many animals, including human beings (surprise!!) is to be polygamous, because natural instinct for the male is to impregnate as many females as possible to pass their genes on. While the females' instinct is to find the male with the highest genetic qualities. Mr. Right doesn't mean Mr. Perfect and you shouldn't have that confused.

I think that thse kinds of studies are crazy. I myself have a three month old son, I am nineteen and am not married. My son's father is not involved at all, and I choice to raise my child alone. I have a good paying job, I am putting myself through school. I choose this situattion for us because I figured he would grow up in a loving and caring environment with me, opposed to a hostile, and unstable one. I am not being "selfish" and I think anyone who says I am needs a serious reality check. It is not easy to wake up multiple times a night, every night, and feed a crying baby. But I do it, all by my self, every night. When I don't have anyone to watch my son while I work, there is only me worrying about day-care and frantically calling baby sitters. I am the only one that worries about Christmas presents, college funds, and upper respiratory infections. But I do this, because I love my son, and I believe I am providing the best life for him that is possible. Maybe women are choosing to be single parents because we know that we can get the job done, and do it right.

What a bunch of male bashing trash. So now we (males) are reduced to either "donor #2" or put on the same level as a turkey baster. That's right up there with every woman should be at home, barefoot and spitting out children. How about an article on finding MRS RIGHT? I'm married and have two beautuful children. I am totally involved in their lives. My wife is an unaffectionate abusive women, I'd leave her long ago had it not been for the children. I stay to insure my children know what a hug feels like. I couldn't imagine what my kids would do if they couldn't turn to me for emotional relief.If my wife wanted MR DONOR #2 or MR Turkey baster [my] children would turn out to be unaffectionate, nasty kids.

Another anti-male , male bashing p.o.s. article.

Outspoken - Just because you children have Ph.D's and maybe make lots of money does that mean that they dont feel any void from not having a father in their life? Ask them sometime I bet you already know the answer! Money isnt everything, do your kids have a relationship with christ?

If I had a choice of whether to have a kid on my own or have BRichard312 as my husband and father of my child.....I'd rather raise an orphange by myself.

Ugh. If the guys posting here are representative of the "eligible bachelors" in the US, no wonder women are choosing to have kids on their own.

well where do i begin i am 28 years old and i am looking to sart my own family but the woman i want just wants me to get her pregant but i want to be with her she knows i will be a good dad and be good to her and support the family but she dont want to be commited to anything but her self all the woman say there are no good man but her is one that has been looking for a long time i was married but that did not work she cheated on the night of are marrige even when i found that out i tried to work it out but she said i was not her husband all i hear i men do this and men do that but woman do the same things as men i try to stay postive but who can in this world i want kids and a family but the women i be with do not and these are woman in their late 20 and 30 so tell me what do woman really want from a man when they try to be the things that a woman wants in her man and when he does that you dont want him but if a woman wants to get her own self knock up it will not solve anything will it i feel like some woman of the world will try to do stuff that will make the man be worthless in the world man and woman are here to love each other and that is the whole problem man and woman are not doing that.

DEAR LIGHTNING:
Thank you for reading my posting. I belive you should check the statement again. If you bothered to have an open mind to other peoples opinions and be able to see past your own feelings, you would see my "math" is fine. I can repeat it for you and even break it down to make it a little easier: "As long as the woman is physically, mentally, and emotionally able to raise the child with all of the love and adoration of a two parent household, then why should society frown upon it?" This means that if a woman decided to become a single parent and she can give the same amount of love and good parenting as a 2 parent household could, then she has every right to do so.
So you can check your math again, as well as return to High School English (it's all about the sentence structure my friend.)

No RiTZ...single mother's can teach him how to love, respect and treat other's with dignity. Oh and since throwing a ball is solely a "man's" job...how ever will us poor dumb women ever learn? We need a big strong MAN to show us how to swing a hammer or use a circular saw. While we're at it learning from a MAN, perhaps he can teach us how to dress, talk and act like a woman should.

I became a single mother by choice at age 38. It's not a decision I took lightly. I had a lot of positive support from family, friends and co-workers.
I did research on Day Care laws and registered my daughter in an excellent day care before she was born. (For those who think Day care is such a bad option, you haven't been in one lately.) Before she went to any after-school programs, I checked on all of the details, supervision, transportation, etc., to be sure that she was well cared for.
I always felt that I wanted to be a mother. Why is being a single mother more selfish than if I was part of a couple? I don't see the difference.
I waited until I was financially able to support her. I don't have the problems that some of my friends have with ex-husbands resisting child support payments or other expenses for the child. Yes, it is tough sometimes but we have a good life.
My daughter is now 14, does well in school, and we have a lot of quality time together. She is the most important person in my life. I have had many people say that they wish they had done what I did - this is from people with and without children.

I divorced when my youngest was still breastfeeding. He now has a Ph.D. My older son just graduated from dental school. Their father is indifferent and totally unsuited for parenthood. I totally support a woman's right to choose and that includes choosing single parenthood. I think financial independence is important. Poverty is probably a biggest drawback to successful single parenting.

I have to agree, that there is no such thing as Mr. Right, but I believe one parent that truly cares can raise a child just as effectively, often more so, than a disfunctional couple. But , I for one am glad I stuck around for 21 years, my husband gets mellower with age, like a fine wine. I wasn't looking for the prince on the stallion, but he has grown into one.

Spockman,
ms melanie did not say anything about a a "six-figure producing, socially perfect, high on the ladder, vacation-taking, bright teeth, green eyed, tall, dark and handsome" man. I think her words were "compatible, loving and understanding husband." Completely different!

Having trouble with the ladies making you a little defensive? Sounds like maybe you just got dumped.

kfillmore..as one of those guys you described you have no idea how frustrating it is for us. I refer back to my previous posts...your words say you want a guy like that, but your (women's) actions are the complete opposite. Again, a personal anecdote. Me personally...I'm 27 years old, educated, stable carreer, fairly successful...I'm described by alot of my friends as probably the nicest and most patient man they've ever met...I love kids and I want to have a long term committment and have children of my own. I would, and do, absolutely hold family above everything else in my life, and yet, for as much as the women in here complain about not being able to find a mature, responsible man who will be a good father, I am considered completely undateable in modern American society. Case in point a number of years ago, before i decided to just give up on American women entirely and look elseware, I started talking to an old female friend of mine that I hadn't seen in years. She's single mother of a young child, works full time, and goes to college... busts her ass...we hung out a couple of times and she's attractive, intelligent, fun, great mother, and for all the stress shes under she handles it with just an amazing about of dignity...just a really strong person. Her kid is just awesome...I can completely accept that she's got a kid..doesn't bother me at all. She was someone that I was sincerly interested in dating. I asked her out for dinner....the answer..."I'm not interested in you.". But she was all about telling about her past boyfriends and their problems...all slime...to a man....the father of her child is an unemployed druggie she met in the bar and I'M not good enough to even go out to dinner with? Are you kidding? My story is not unique. We are everywhere. EVERYWHERE...and we ALL have the same stories. I'm supposed to feel sympathy for someone who "can't find" a "good man" or puts themselves in a bad relationship when, guaranteed, there was somebody in her life who was much more capable of being a good boyfriend, husband, and father, but just wasn't as immediately gratifiing as the shallow charismatic bad boy? No...it doesn't work like that. I got nothing against women who want to be single mothers and opt for the artificial fertilization thing...just as long as they accept that it has nothing to do with men at all. They are becoming single mothers because they WANT to be SINGLE mothers. Period. Not because they "can't find a good man" 'cause that's BS....or because modern men "aren't involved in thier kids lives..blah blah balh" That's BS....There is only one reason that I can respect..."I am fully capable of finding a good, loving man to be father because they do exist and are avaliable and I know several (because guaranteed, you do), but I just chose to be a single mother instead." That I can completely respect.

You know I entered a whole comment and you blew it off because I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD TO REGISTER TO POST. The least you could have done was save the comment and post it after I registered - or discarded it if I didn't register. Forget it - this isn't worth it!

Well, I can't speak for the rest of you, but 11 years ago, I was done dealing with selfish men who were only in it for the sex or wanted a trophy wife. I wanted a child and at 38 I had no prospects for a lifetime partner. With a good job an income around 65k, a master's degree and a good future, I decided to take the turkey baster route. It worked fabulously. I have a wonderful 11 year old daughter that loves life, loves our family, helps me with my alpaca farm, does great in school is incredibly well-adjusted and has set herself on the path to becoming a veterinarian. She also wants to get married and have three kids!! I have never been happier and neither has she. Maybe we're not the norm, but I would recommend this route for many a single woman in her 30's who loves herself, is confident, mature, and wants to fill that "mommy" role too.

What a bunch of male bashing trash. So now we (males) are reduced to either "donor #2" or put on the same level as a turkey baster. That's right up there with every woman should be at home barefoot and spitting out children. How about an article on finding MRS RIGHT. I'm married and have two beautuful children. I am totally involved in their lives. My wife is an unaffectionate abusive women, I'd leave her long ago had it not been for the children. I stay to insure my children know what a hug feels like. If my wife wanted MR DONOR #2 or MR Turkey baster [my] children would turn out to be unaffectionate, nasty kids.
Another anti-male , male bashing pos article.

Are you CRAZY? Dont you realize that it is vital for a child to have both a mother and a father figure in their life? Growing up in a broken home where my mom was and my dad wasent, i realize the deep hole i feel from never having my father around. To bring a baby into the world just so you can fill your own void of a love life and a family life is just flat out selfish! And as for lesbians, if you cannot get pregnant the way you are "doing it" HERE IS YOUR SIGN!!! Just because you havent figured out what God intended sex and marriage to be doesent mean you have the right to screw up some kid's thoughts of what a healthy image of marriage and family is! And as for the author of the book, growing up with a single mom left alot of voids in my life and I still struggle with it to this day, but at least i am thankful that it was not the intent of my mother to purposely screw up my childhood by making it father-less. Even if you do have the financial means to support a child doesn't mean you have the "manly" means to RAISE a child! Are you going to go out and throw a baseball with him? build a treehouse with him? teach him how to BE A MAN? What do you know about being a man, or what a boy needs in his life as a father figure? How dare you put nonsense like this into peoples minds!

Thats the problem, Why is there a shortage of what women call "good men". The problem is both. Not one Im 22 and found nothing but back stabbing/self-rightous women. Both are wrong in mant aspects. Notice BOTH.