Knocking Yourself Up

I'm going to have to go with the great Dr. Laura's views on the subject; I know there are women out there who ???hate??? her, but I think that is only because they see themselves in what she is saying and resent her for telling the truth. I myself don't have any kids, but do come from a large family; my parents have been happily married for 26 years. I can attest to the awesome contribution that a father can make in his children???s' lives. My dads has given my sister and I the blueprint of what a perfect husband and father aught to be and has taught my brothers what it means to be a man. All of us did/are doing well in school, the older ones have great jobs, or are self employed and the younger ones are being taught the importance of working hard and living a good honest life. We were blessed enough to have my mother at home with us until the youngest was in school; then she got a part time job so she could still be home when we were. We were all completely dependant on my dad, and it made us stronger as individuals and as a family. I find it sad that there are women out there that would deny their children this kind of loving, supportive environment because they find it inconvenient to wait for the right man. The feminist movement, where girls are taught they can "have it all," has completely destroyed the family dynamic. There is a great beauty in being a woman and being home to take care of the family. Feminists would have you believe that you're subhuman if you don't strive to be equal to your male counterpart in every way. I can bet dollars to nickels that these so called "highly intelligent, financially independent" women are not going to be home to take care of the child that they're purposefully depriving of a father. The poor kid will be dumped in daycare for eight hours a day to be raised by strangers while "mama" works 40+ hours a week in her "high powered" career. I find it the essence of selfishness to bring a child into the world when ???mama??? is unwilling to provide it with a FAMILY. It has been proven in countless studies that having a father in the house will significantly reduce the likelihood of the kid developing emotional problems in the future, will reduce the chances of girls becoming sexually active at a young age because they have ???daddy issues???, and will reduce the chances of young boys engaging in criminal activities throughout their lives. I understand that some women are single moms because of circumstances beyond their control, but women who consciously bring a new baby into the world knowing full well that there will be no daddy around is abhorrent.

Newsflash Ladies: There is no such thing as Mr. Right. He is an fantasy and a myth and hes not coming. There are, however, lots of nice guys who want nothing more than to settle down with someone they love, and be part of a new family. Personally I would want nothing better than to have a wife, children, be a father and go on that grand adventure. Unfortunately, the woman I love is waiting for a myth that will never come.

I'm going to have to go with the great Dr. Laura's views on the subject; I know there are women out there who ???hate??? her, but I think that is only because they see themselves in what she is saying and resent her for telling the truth. I myself don't have any kids, but do come from a large family; my parents have been happily married for 26 years. I can attest to the awesome contribution that a father can make in his children???s' lives. My dads has given my sister and I the blueprint of what a perfect husband and father aught to be and has taught my brothers what it means to be a man. All of us did/are doing well in school, the older ones have great jobs, or are self employed and the younger ones are being taught the importance of working hard and living a good honest life. We were blessed enough to have my mother at home with us until the youngest was in school; then she got a part time job so she could still be home when we were. We were all completely dependant on my dad, and it made us stronger as individuals and as a family. I find it sad that there are women out there that would deny their children this kind of loving, supportive environment because they find it inconvenient to wait for the right man. The feminist movement, where girls are taught they can "have it all," has completely destroyed the family dynamic. There is a great beauty in being a woman and being home to take care of the family. Feminists would have you believe that you're subhuman if you don't strive to be equal to your male counterpart in every way. I can bet dollars to nickels that these so called "highly intelligent, financially independent" women are not going to be home to take care of the child that they're purposefully depriving of a father. The poor kid will be dumped in daycare for eight hours a day to be raised by strangers while "mama" works 40+ hours a week in her "high powered" career. I find it the essence of selfishness to bring a child into the world when ???mama??? is unwilling to provide it with a FAMILY. It has been proven in countless studies that having a father in the house will significantly reduce the likelihood of the kid developing emotional problems in the future, will reduce the chances of girls becoming sexually active at a young age because they have ???daddy issues???, and will reduce the chances of young boys engaging in criminal activities throughout their lives. I understand that some women are single moms because of circumstances beyond their control, but women who consciously bring a new baby into the world knowing full well that there will be no daddy around is abhorrent.

Wake up and smell the coffee, Jim Flint. The women who are running around, going to work, running errands, picking up the slack for the household, and picking up the kids late include those who are married, whiles their husbands are banging the secretary "working late again".

I think some people are confusing rights and needs with wants. Such women are selfishly pursuing their own desire to have children with little regard to the child's future feelings of whehter he would prefer more than one parent. If women have a "need" to raise a child, they can adopt a parentless child, one in a far worse situation, and help control the raging world population at the same time. If a women chooses to not settle and to write all men off as unable to be married, she is also choosing to write off biological children. These women are lost in a fairy tail, believing they must have children to be "happily ever after."

the difference Spockman, is that in my world we are allowed to say what we want and argue and have difference. I can thus, say what I want. I will not stop you from having an opinion. In the world that BRichard would like, he would control what others can say and do in their lives. And actually I'm probably more "conservative" that you. I beleive in small governement that doesn't control us. I beleive in freedom and liberty... even to offend each other. That includes publicy wishing that some people were never born. Funny huh?

I think some people are confusing rights and needs with wants. Such women are selfishly pursuing their own desire to have children with little regard to the child's future feelings of whehter he would prefer more than one parent. If women have a "need" to raise a child, they can adopt a parentless child, one in a far worse situation, and help control the raging world population at the same time. If a women chooses to not settle and to write all men off as unable to be married, she is also choosing to write off biological children. These women are lost in a fairy tail, believing they must have children to be "happily ever after."

Wow, you women amaze me! Allow me to lay down the soot, so that you may spurt like the little spurts that you are. What gives you the right to dictate who can be your childs father and who can be it's donor. Is it all the money that you tripped over getting to the sperm bank? What kind of information do you gather from all of those ink stained applications that you read over. The problem is that your superficial ego gets the most of the situation, " this one loves dogs, and he has green eyes" Are you that superficial that image is everything and nothing can go wrong with green eyed fido. How many of these guys have have a criminal records? How many have done the club seen for 5 plus years? Remember A.I.D.S. can show up without a hint!!! The problem with you "independent females" is you have forgotten where you came from, a mother and a father.... Or were you also a science project that went wrong --Test tube baby -- My neighbors kids are related to their mothers cousin, so what would that make him? Uncle Dad? Is it fair to the kids in this world growing up with no foundation? Ponder this: Who's going to teach him how to throw a football 50+ yards, to throw the infamous _last name here_ scewball? You?? I think- I mean I know not!!! Again, money can't buy you love......

Merlinsghost: I am sorry that you live such a sad sad life. I hope that you, too, will find love.

TO Cowdragon - the name says it all.....any questions?

Are you CRAZY? Dont you realize that it is vital for a child to have both a mother and a father figure in their life? Growing up in a broken home where my mom was and my dad wasent, i realize the deep hole i feel from never having my father around. To bring a baby into the world just so you can fill your own void of a love life and a family life is just flat out selfish! And as for lesbians, if you cannot get pregnant the way you are "doing it" HERE IS YOUR SIGN!!! Just because you havent figured out what God intended sex and marriage to be doesent mean you have the right to screw up some kid's thoughts of what a healthy image of marriage and family is! And as for the author of the book, growing up with a single mom left alot of voids in my life and I still struggle with it to this day, but at least i am thankful that it was not the intent of my mother to purposely screw up my childhood by making it father-less. Even if you do have the financial means to support a child doesn't mean you have the "manly" means to RAISE a child! Are you going to go out and throw a baseball with him? build a treehouse with him? teach him how to BE A MAN? What do you know about being a man, or what a boy needs in his life as a father figure? How dare you put nonsense like this into peoples minds!

Just part of the current trend of making males expendable. Feminists are winning this battle.

Women please know that boys need their fathers no matter how you feel towards men, because my Mom is a single successful Mother making over $70,000.00 a year and I always told her about where is daddy and it really missed me up, but I got over him. But in the end, I never got the male attention that I needed to be a stronger individual and because of having an absent father I never saw how people deal with each other in relationships. How a Man and a Women communicate and work things out during the tough times. Because the relationships that our parents display affects how we all deal with the opposite sex. Not all kids become delinquents, because I'm in my last year of college and bout to do pretty well, but my relationships with the opposite sex has definitely hurt because I was always told to treat women with respect and love and I got played in the end. It seems that our society and the world at large is going to turn into something it should not , the modern and advanced societies have higher divorce rates than any other societies in the world. Something is very wrong about all of this. The single Mother syndrome will either create three types of men, the Sensitive boy, the Withdrawn boy (which I am), and the Jerk or Dog of a Son who cheats and lies to women. My Mom had a discussion with me and told me that in heart, that she wishes she could have my father in my life and not have to do it all alone. She said she was young and believed that she could do with out a man but never really considered how much of a burden she was putting on herself and what it was doing to me. Please ladies out there please reconsider what affects this will have on children especially young men.

Hm, I'm noticing that there's a lot of women who feel they are competant to raise a child on their own and a lot of men who vehemently disagree. It sucks not having power in a certain area, doesn't it boys?

All joking aside, this is a personal decision that a woman needs to make for herself. Judge not lest ye be judged (for all you Bible thumpers). What would Jesus do? All that jazz....

Try having some compassion, instead of acting like a twit.

A generation of men, raised by women...and here we are, come full circle.

It's sad. It's pathetic. And it's unfair to the children born into these situations. And instead of trying to stick with finding a guy, or even perhaps working on themselves, women take the selfish route, as they always seem to.

I'm 28 years old, single, employed, etc., and I've been told by all of my long-time female friends that I am a *great* guy. I used to date, but got so fed up with the "me-me-me" attitude of seemingly every woman I met, I've decided enough is enough. The general attitude is that women don't need men, or that men are seen as comic relief, fools, or controlling and pig-headed.

I want nothing more than to find a girl and take care of her, but of course that sort of outlook is seen as oppressive and "1950's". Fine. You're all on your own. I'm done trying. Have fun raising your statistic. =(

As a young woman building a life for myself, I know I want to have a family someday. If I don't have a child by the time I'm 35 I???ve always planned on adopting. I never really considered being a single mom by choice, but I think I would do better on my own than with some of the men I have dated recently. I'm not going to settle and be with a man just so I'm not alone. I want to be with somebody for the right reasons. If for whatever reason I don???t have a man in my life when I hit 34 (I turned 28 earlier this year), I might just consider having a freezer pop baby. As far as I'm concerned, no person on this planet has any room to judge me or any other woman for the choices we make. There are children in two parent households who end up murdering their classmates, so where exactly is this decay occurring in society???s social fabric? It's not happening in one place alone, and it comes down to the positive influences in a person's life. I know who I am and what I have to offer to the world. My child (or children if I so choose to have more than one flavor of freezer pop baby) will be just as loved as any other kid on this planet and will be just was appreciated and successful when it???s all said and done. So what I choose to do is up to me, and anybody who doesn???t like it can chew on it during their sewing circle or bible study or wherever it is the narrow-minded, judgmental, ignorant, know-it-alls of the world hang out these days.

A generation of men, raised by women...and here we are, come full circle.

It's sad. It's pathetic. And it's unfair to the children born into these situations. And instead of trying to stick with finding a guy, or even perhaps working on themselves, women take the selfish route, as they always seem to.

I'm 28 years old, single, employed, etc., and I've been told by all of my long-time female friends that I am a *great* guy. I used to date, but got so fed up with the "me-me-me" attitude of seemingly every woman I met, I've decided enough is enough. The general attitude is that women don't need men, or that men are seen as comic relief, fools, or controlling and pig-headed.

I want nothing more than to find a girl and take care of her, but of course that sort of outlook is seen as oppressive and "1950's". Fine. You're all on your own. I'm done trying. Have fun raising your statistic. =(

Most studies related to having two parents in the home or involved in raising a child do not take into account income levels, quality of life, education and other factors that are clearly present and should be accounted for. In a perfect world having two parents is the best way to go about it. But what about our world where not only are there many, many women out there who want to have children but are not having any luck finding a husband (Myself being one of them) and those that got married, have children and do nothing but fight with their spouses? Is that really 'best for the children?' Everyone is putting their own views here first, and claiming "It's best for the child, It's best for the child this way, no that way"
In reality there are so many situations, and there are many that occur in great quantities, child abuse, spousal abuse, where it really would be better off in a 1 parent household. And there are many, many households when 2 parents is the most stable environment. But, and this is a big but, just because you've seen it work once or twice, or even a hundred, don't assume that there are not thousands of incidences out there where it is not better to have a 1 parent household.
Being in the situation myself, desperately wanting to be married and have children I can understand both sides of the situation. I was raised in a single parent household with my 2 siblings, and honestly, I've never had any care or desire to know about my father or want a relationship with him, even as a child I did not think about those things. My mother made sure our lives were that much better because she was the only one around to do it. We all went to college and other than the fact I am not married and do not have children we all live happy, financially secure lives.
Am I at the point where I'm ready to use a turkey baster to have a child with out a husband by my side? No, do I feel like that might be an option for me in the future if things continue with no 'husband' prospects in the near future? Yes, most definately yes. Is this selfish? Maybe, but why is it any more selfish than every other woman in the world who wants to have kids? On that issue I don't see how you can differentiate between 'us' and 'them' (us being those willing to do it and them being those that believe it is unthinkable, yet have children of their own in a relationship.)

Dford: Actually, I hate cats. I would "never" own a cat. And I have a great boyfriend who I am marrying next June. Thanks for asking!