Knocking Yourself Up

Oh and by the way, these women choosing to be single mothers need to do their homework on the influence a single parent has vs. two parents. You are gambling on a child's identity, social interactions, as well as forcing them to see the opposite sex in an abnormal way. Maybe not on purpose but that message is still being sent.

imagine how this affects the gene pool. what kind of men are sperm donors? decent men? Maybe they say that they are rocket scientists or are geniouses, but they could be megalomaniacs who simply want to spread around their genetic material. Anyone can look good on paper. there could be some real defects like those who have family histories of mental illness like bipolar disorder, and I shudder to think what else. what if the person who seemed so great on paper is a mentally ill person who can't find a woman, but wants to have his genetic material out there becomes your baby's father? do these women truly believe that highly ethical and decent men are out there whacking off into specimen cups for the good of mankind? Really.....what kind of man DO that??

Fathers are important in childrens lives,what has happenned to getting to know a person,develope a loving relationship before starting a family? The greatest love for a child is loving the other parent.. I am not educated on the use of sperm banks, but what about the risk of undesireable traits in a donor.

I completely agree on this part and support the single mothers. In todays world who dnt want to be independent. When a woman think and determine that she can do a particular task..than ofcourse she can do it. This is the Woman who give birth to a life. And if she is independent and self suffiecent than ofcourse she can go ahead and make a decision for the same. I dnt agree with that ..a woman cant do any thing without a man. When a man screwed a woman's lyf after marraige than ...wat shd she do...no way to go..than this society...will nt goin to support any woman for that. Than the final deciesion is of divorce dats all. And after that she is in the same situation. So...its better if u dnt gt d Mr. Right of ur lyf..go for this .

I think that if a woman wants a child she should be able to care for and support that child. Ultimately it's her choice and no one elses.

I think that if a woman wants a child she should be able to care for and support that child. Ultimately it's her choice and no one elses.

Since the 2nd wave of feminism, which began in the 1970s, ended, women became complacent with their roles in society. As a result, the feminist cause (equality between men and women) began to suffer (example: difference between the wages for men and women for the same job grew). With the beginning of the 3rd wave of feminism, which we are presently in, women began to slowly come back to arms for female equality from the white-male religious-zealot society we live in.
Now that the mini history lesson is over, the reasoning behind the change in behavior concerning women and artificial insemination would seem, at least to me, a little bit more clear. For so long our society has accepted sexual freedom for men as them merely "sowing his wild oats" but for women should they do the same thing they are considered harlots, sluts, or whores. American society is just as guilty as any other country for encouraging gender roles [pushing upon our children what it means to be a girl (wearing pink, acting "girly" for example) and a boy (wearing blue, acting "manly" for example)]. Women are STILL seen as the primary home-makers, still seen on TV as the one getting excited about cleaning the house with whatever new mop or eraser-sponge that has come out; and, most importantly for this topic at least, still seen as a wife - never without a man. Without a legally/religiously sanctioned relationship between a man and woman, society shuns it as abnormal and wrong. Why? I say that if a woman doesn???t want a relationship, she should be praised for making the decision to look after her best interests. Personally, I am thrilled that women are doing this. I must admit that I am not particularly riled up and thrilled to get in any sort of serious relationship with a man any time soon as I know that 30% of the females killed in the US each year were killed by their intimate partner (husband, boyfriend, ex) - someone who was supposed to love them. I don't know what I want to do when it comes to having a family of my own, after all I am only 21 and intend to go to law school after I finish my Bachelors in Criminal Justice so the family decisions will be happening later on down the road. Regardless of whether I decide to have artificial insemination, adopt, have a child with a boyfriend, or become a wife and start a family, I will do what I think is in my and my future family's best interests with or without the "blessings" of my church or my government.

Finally, a woman who makes some sense, opinion123.

Since the 2nd wave of feminism, which began in the 1970s, ended, women became complacent with their roles in society. As a result, the feminist cause (equality between men and women) began to suffer (example: difference between the wages for men and women for the same job grew). With the beginning of the 3rd wave of feminism, which we are presently in, women began to slowly come back to arms for female equality from the white-male religious-zealot society we live in.
Now that the mini history lesson is over, the reasoning behind the change in behavior concerning women and artificial insemination would seem, at least to me, a little bit more clear. For so long our society has accepted sexual freedom for men as them merely "sowing his wild oats" but for women should they do the same thing they are considered harlots, sluts, or whores. American society is just as guilty as any other country for encouraging gender roles [pushing upon our children what it means to be a girl (wearing pink, acting "girly" for example) and a boy (wearing blue, acting "manly" for example)]. Women are STILL seen as the primary home-makers, still seen on TV as the one getting excited about cleaning the house with whatever new mop or eraser-sponge that has come out; and, most importantly for this topic at least, still seen as a wife - never without a man. Without a legally/religiously sanctioned relationship between a man and woman, society shuns it as abnormal and wrong. Why? I say that if a woman doesn???t want a relationship, she should be praised for making the decision to look after her best interests. Personally, I am thrilled that women are doing this. I must admit that I am not particularly riled up and thrilled to get in any sort of serious relationship with a man any time soon as I know that 30% of the females killed in the US each year were killed by their intimate partner (husband, boyfriend, ex) - someone who was supposed to love them. I don't know what I want to do when it comes to having a family of my own, after all I am only 21 and intend to go to law school after I finish my Bachelors in Criminal Justice so the family decisions will be happening later on down the road. Regardless of whether I decide to have artificial insemination, adopt, have a child with a boyfriend, or become a wife and start a family, I will do what I think is in my and my future family's best interests with or without the "blessings" of my church or my government.

It's interesting that some comments reflect that women are selfish and power tripping and that may be true in some cases. That's like saying all men are dogs. But some of us haven't found a man who wants to commit or wants to have kids and it's depressing and scarey to think that if no one wants to marry you, that children is not a option either. I'm a 29 year old woman who is yes sucessful within my career, but I also have a live in boyfriend (and his son) who all of a sudden doesn't want marriage and any more kids. Not because of me, because he just doesn't want to. So now I've given 4 years of my life (playing wife and mother), only to find out that he would rather have the cow for free. I want to have kids and I want to have a husband. Where is that man at and if he doesn't come then I'll opt for going to the sperm bank.

The reality is that life is not perfect! I am a 21 year old professional woman. i just graduated from college with a BA In Fashion Marketing. I Have peers, cousins and sisters who all have babies (there 19-22 in age) and they are single parents. This topic couldn't come at a better time because the pressure is on me to reproduce. My grandma rasied me an she thinks that good men are hard to find and that since i have a career a degree and a great job that she would help me raise a baby without a husband, boyfriend or "a Baby Daddy" LOL !

Well. I debated whether or not my two cents was worth it but this is a comment board so ... I think my main conflict is that I can appreciate both sides of what you all are saying. The fact of the matter is, no matter what some of you think, being single is not always a choice. Once upon a time that translated into being branded a Spinster. I wonder if the Spinster of old would have jumped at the chance of sperm donation for the sake of feeling like a "true" woman because, afterall, and I am being completed sarcastic here, isn't being a mother what defines being a woman? But maybe, she would rather have remained a Spinster than to have a *gasp* bastard child. I don't know. Things aren't that different now. Strictly speaking from personal experience that maternal clock started ticking years ago and every year that passes by that I am not partnered or married that is a year closer to menopause. It is what it is. If I don't find the right man (because I choose not to lay down with dogs which some of you men have posted on this board) should I be forced to be biologically childless? Adoption is great but it doesn't erase an innate urge to procreate. Not for me anyway. Why should it translate into "feminist BS" if a woman chooses to live the best life for her? To actually go and get what she wants rather than wait for a man to make that happen for her? What is wrong with single motherhood...you are really selling the single moms short by assuming that their kids will be screwed up. It sucks that some of you had it rough with single parents but that is absolutely not the norm. Does it take a strong person to raise psychologically healthy children? Yes. But it just takes one. You can have two parents who hate each other and maybe only married to have kids ... are you telling me their child will be better off than the single mother or father who wanted them so much that they were willing to tolerate the "taboo" of insemination so that they can raise a child that they loved even before they met him/her?

I am a male product of a single mom environment and a lower economic class and the end result, most people would say, is a case of great success. I am twenty-nine and have educated myself through grad school and am living a much better life than my childhood. My upbringing was not easy. My biological father was non-existent and my mother remarried a couple of times to abusive men. Although, I did have some positive male role models in my life through my mother's brothers. They weren't always around but they did have a good influence on me and my siblings. Throughout time it seems that a significant portion of men have abandoned their children and left women to raise them to adulthood, quite successfully in a lot of cases. I don't think that it's an issue of whether a single parent, man or woman, can raise a child successfully but more an issue of whether that parent has the tools and resources to care and love them. Meaning adequate income, proper education, and a healthy living environment that allows the child to explore and grow safely. Granted, I can agree that two dedicated, loving parents is better than one, and is ideal, but the world is not this way. A lot of men don???t always stay close to their children and if a woman has the means to succeed in bearing and raising a child than why not? Is a man any less capable of raising a child alone?

I think it is hard to find a compatible, understanding and loving husband and dad to have a life and babies with...so if a woman hasn't found one of these and times a ticking....then it is perfectly OK for us to opt to be single mom's. I was a single mom for 1 year (until I met my now husband) and that year of being a single mom was beautiful and something I would never take back.

What is wrong with these dumb bitches? These women (I used that term loosely) can't find a man? I think that's humorous in and of itself. What makes ANY of these women think that if they don't have the kind of personality necessary to accommodate a relationship with an adult that it will be any easier cultivating a parental relationship with a child?

These women are jokes....they can't find a man but they want children? Get your priorities straight you hacks......marriage first parenthood second.....

Dear Amphibian - Haven't you ever heard of the Pill, Norplant, tubal ligations, condoms? Are we supposed to believe that the only times you had sex with your ex were when you said "No"? It took you three children to realize the guy was a deabeat? I am sorry, but you have no one to blame but yourself. As to those other "brave" single women who chose to become pregnant, you are simply another manifestation of the selfish, self-absorbed and self-indulgent society in which we now live. I want the BMW, so I will have it. I want the trip to Aruba, so I will have it. I want a child, so I will have it. Great. You will now be bringing a child into the world with the same distorted ethic with which you govern your own life. Good luck.
Roadam

I think that to bring a child into society today with out both parents is crazy. I'm a single mother of two at 27 years old. Do you women out there actually know how hard it is to raise kids by yourself..financially, emotionally, mentally???? There is so much more than just raising a child but it is instilling values and morals on your child. What values are you instilling on your child by not having the other parent present? Are we as society just taking this whole child bearing thing to extremes? Financially if there is only one parent than you are only making half the money than if there were two parents....how are you supposed to raise a family without the financial support behind you..Money doesn't just grow on trees..and if you're a single parent than it means having a job, from which you have to send your child to daycare, than who really raises your child?..Not the parent becasue the child is at daycare...so its the daycare provider that is really taking care of the child...you just end up being the part-time parent...

What do you say when the child starts asking "where's my daddy? why can't I have a daddy?" are you supposed to answer by saying that you don't have a daddy because mommy got you artificially inceminated and we don't know who the father is so deal with it...it's hard enough on a family with two parents present than with only one. What happens when your son wants to do boy stuff like play sports, or or ride a motorcycle or needs advise on a boy topic...do you think he is gonna feel comfortable going to mommy and dicussing this with her...hopefully he will but when he gets older and things get a bit more complicated than what? I know from experience because I'm a tomboy that not all woman like playing sports or doing rough tough stuff with boys so what do you do about that? Sure you can get a freind or relative to fill in but thats just part time...

And the girls need a father figure..how the heck are they supposed to know how to find "Mr. Right" as every one is talking about if they don't have a man figure in their life? Are they gonna choose the right type of guy or are they gonna choose the type of guy that will abuse them and hurt them? Children only learn from what they see? If they see their parents fighting and not being nice to each other than as they get older than they will hopefully learn that that is not the type of man they want..and if mommy and daddy are good with each other, very affectionate and loviong than that is the qualities that the little girl will choose in a man..

It is absolutely the hardest thing to raise children by yourself in this day in age...but i guess raising kids on your own is what is expected from society today! the woman has to work twice as hard to get anywhere in life and five times as hard if there is kids present!

I wish people would stop blaming their mistakes / failures on their parents. Life is whatever you make of it. I say this from experience. I gew up in a household where my mom worked full-time and my dad took care of me most of the time. My dad played sports with me, cooked food for me, and basically did everything moms do. I turned out to be a different kind of woman, the kind that don't rely on anyone else for anything.

It depends on how the women behave around the guys when they first were dating and married. Forget all those movies/shows that portray guys as little children that constantly need caring b/c they can't do anything. Guys will surprise you when they are given the chance.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, grew up with only his mom. He turned out to be the kind of guy who would listen whenever I have something to say. He's sensitive and considerate of others. He loves kids. If we ever end up with children, he's the type who would spend time with them rather than do his own thing.

In short, I think women should saying wives with husbands who spend time with their children are lucky. Marriage is a two-way street. If the wives want the husbands to spend more time with the children, then they should work out a deal with their husbands. Husbands who are absent from the family rearing process are mostly like away on business, making money. As the world is getting more capitalistic, women are able to work outside of their homes. So therefore, women, quit complaining and make a choice: get a job to bring home some money and make the husbands do some work OR stay home and quit complaining.

For all of these individuals on here who are judging women for having standards I'd like to see what your partners look like.