Knocking Yourself Up

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  • Posted By: CollegeGal @ 11/02/2007 3:10:52 PM

    "Any" woman can find a man. But finding a "good man"? VERY hard. One in a million.

  • Posted By: BRichard312 @ 11/02/2007 3:10:49 PM

    What is wrong with these dumb bitches? These women (I used that term loosely) can't find a man? I think that's humorous in and of itself. What makes ANY of these women think that if they don't have the kind of personality necessary to accommodate a relationship with an adult that it will be any easier cultivating a parental relationship with a child?

    These women are jokes....they can't find a man but they want children? Get your priorities straight you hacks......marriage first parenthood second.....

  • Posted By: Spockman @ 11/02/2007 3:10:47 PM

    Hey coloblondie. What give me the right to say what I want is the constitution. The same document that gives you the right to sound stupid.

  • Posted By: mbledsoe32 @ 11/02/2007 3:10:45 PM

    As a single mother for 13 yrs now, I have to give my two cents. I did not choose to be a single mom, rather the father chose to not be a dad. My child is my #1 priority and in watching her peers that have two parents, I see no difference in how she is raised with the exception that my child is not watching mom and dad at constant odds with one another, get mixed signals due to differences in parenting styles, or live in a home where the two parents don't like one another, but 'stay for the kids'. My child has all of the same emotional and financial stability of any two parent families. Additionally, finding 'Mr. Right' is not as simple as it was back in the 50's where people did marry in order to have children and fit in with society. With divorce, playboy lifestyles, increased work loads and need for 'stuff', there are fewer chances for an independent single woman to find her 'Mr Right" who wants to settle down and have children (especially after 35)! If a woman wants to be a mother and can't find Mr. Right to marry why should she give up her dreams because she can't find a GOOD man (rather than settle)! Her child will be just as happy and well adjusted as any other child!

  • Posted By: opinions123 @ 11/02/2007 3:10:39 PM

    I think that to bring a child into society today with out both parents is crazy. I'm a single mother of two at 27 years old. Do you women out there actually know how hard it is to raise kids by yourself..financially, emotionally, mentally???? There is so much more than just raising a child but it is instilling values and morals on your child. What values are you instilling on your child by not having the other parent present? Are we as society just taking this whole child bearing thing to extremes? Financially if there is only one parent than you are only making half the money than if there were two parents....how are you supposed to raise a family without the financial support behind you..Money doesn't just grow on trees..and if you're a single parent than it means having a job, from which you have to send your child to daycare, than who really raises your child?..Not the parent becasue the child is at daycare...so its the daycare provider that is really taking care of the child...you just end up being the part-time parent...

    What do you say when the child starts asking "where's my daddy? why can't I have a daddy?" are you supposed to answer by saying that you don't have a daddy because mommy got you artificially inceminated and we don't know who the father is so deal with it...it's hard enough on a family with two parents present than with only one. What happens when your son wants to do boy stuff like play sports, or or ride a motorcycle or needs advise on a boy topic...do you think he is gonna feel comfortable going to mommy and dicussing this with her...hopefully he will but when he gets older and things get a bit more complicated than what? I know from experience because I'm a tomboy that not all woman like playing sports or doing rough tough stuff with boys so what do you do about that? Sure you can get a freind or relative to fill in but thats just part time...

    And the girls need a father figure..how the heck are they supposed to know how to find "Mr. Right" as every one is talking about if they don't have a man figure in their life? Are they gonna choose the right type of guy or are they gonna choose the type of guy that will abuse them and hurt them? Children only learn from what they see? If they see their parents fighting and not being nice to each other than as they get older than they will hopefully learn that that is not the type of man they want..and if mommy and daddy are good with each other, very affectionate and loviong than that is the qualities that the little girl will choose in a man..

    It is absolutely the hardest thing to raise children by yourself in this day in age...but i guess raising kids on your own is what is expected from society today! the woman has to work twice as hard to get anywhere in life and five times as hard if there is kids present!

  • Posted By: cowdragon @ 11/02/2007 3:10:19 PM

    I think it's funny how when you disagree with these women's right to be single mothers, wild accusations pop up all over about how they are too picky and and too narrow minded. Silly people.

    How about this. I think that all of you who think that women should have a man are fat... and you smell funny too! Why do fat smeely people hate single mothers?

    There, isnt that rediculaous? Then stop doing it yourselves.

  • Posted By: Ourworld_myworld @ 11/02/2007 3:10:10 PM

    This message is in reply to the comment: Posted By: jukky6250 @ 11/02/2007 2:28:56 PM, you are so bias to say the thing that you are saying. Have an open mind, some biological fathers and mothers are not the best role model in a child's life, therefore, why would a child be in pain of suffer in their life due to not having them around. Yes if we lived in a perfect world everyone would a get married and be happy, no illnesses, and no one would die and be without their loved ones. Who is to say that if you did all the things you say not to do in order to get married he would be a faithful man and vice versa a faithful woman or you would be totally happy. Some married couples can not have children and they have to adopt. Now is the adopted child going to live in pain without their biological parents? God is our mother, father, friend and provider...and I say to all the good single parents God looks after you and the married couples, as you are a strong person for enduring such a big responsibility. This world is not perfect and maybe that is what heaven is, until then be blessed and pray for all people... and be support to the weak and not talk down upon them... you never know you could be that way...what would you do? How would you feel? To all the people who say single parents raised children that are most likely not to succeed and become a criminal. You are wrong, as I personally know plenty that strive to do so much better, so they can have a good life. The ones who have two parents financially set, etc.... may have it to easy and, do some of the most bizarre things, suicide, drugs, sex with multiple partners contracting stds... I can go on and on... see ya!

  • Posted By: CollegeGal @ 11/02/2007 3:09:59 PM

    Hey Spockman! Want her phone number? You can ask her yourself.

  • Posted By: pthfindr @ 11/02/2007 3:09:37 PM

    I chose to be a single mom at age 25. I asked God to please give me my children first because I did not want to settle when it came to marriage. I believe marriage is forever, and it seemed like Mr. Right just wasn't available. I do not regret my choice. I have two children who do not want for anything. Yes, money is tight at times, but my chidren have learned the idea of budgeting finances, not getting what you want just because you want it, etc. Because I truly wanted my children, I think that they do not miss out too much. Yes, it would be great for there to be a father/husband in our lives, but my children know they are loved and wanted very much. I think we are closer because it is just us, and we depend on each other very much. We place a greater importance on the value of family. I am there for them. Yes, there are days where I wish there were two parents instead of just one for sanity's sake, but I can't dwell on something that I cannot change. All I can do is be the best mom that I can. It is not a matter of how many parents a child has. It is not about quantity. It is about quality. I am supporting quality parents over quantity of parents. Isn't that most important? The children come first, not us.

  • Posted By: BRichard312 @ 11/02/2007 3:09:29 PM

    What is wrong with these dumb bitches? These women (I used that term loosely) can't find a man? I think that's humorous in and of itself. What makes ANY of these women think that if they don't have the kind of personality necessary to accommodate a relationship with an adult that it will be any easier cultivating a parental relationship with a child?

    These women are jokes....they can't find a man but they want children? Get your priorities straight you hacks......marriage first parenthood second.....

  • Posted By: kaylee_5182 @ 11/02/2007 3:09:28 PM

    Honestly it seems to me that it should not matter how the child came to be and if its parent is a single woman; what should matter is that it is loved. Like Sloan said, ""But for kids whose moms wanted them as badly as [She] did, chances are the decks are stacked in their favor."
    When I was growing up, I lived in a 2 parent family. Ol' Mom and Pop could not have been worse parents. They were self-centered and hated one another. Because of their relationship with each other, they could not be "Perfect" parents to my two sisrers and I. To be honest, they could not even be adequate parents. I remember several occasions when we did not have heat in the winter or even running water! Needless to say, my childhood was tumultuous-despite the fact that I had both of my parents at home with me.
    My best friend, however, lived in a single mother family and couldnt have been happier. She and her mother and sisters got along better than any family I have seen. They never had to worry about the electricity or water being off when they came home from school. Their mother planned ahead. She knew she wanted children and that to provide for them she would need to be financially stable.
    I'm not saying ALL single mothers will be as forward-thinking as my friend's mother or that all married parents will be terrible role models and providers. I am just saying that each case is special and needs to be treated as such. People do NOT fit into neat little boxes-despite how hard society tries to cram them in.

  • Posted By: StephanyJ20 @ 11/02/2007 3:09:18 PM

    I had hoped to have a biological child when I was married, but when my husband had an affair and I divorced him, it was time for a different path. I have chosen to adopt from China and was fortunate to get my paperwork in before China cut off single parent adoptions. As I wait for the referral of the child, I often wonder how I am going to go it alone as a parent, but hey, a new Mr. Right may show up along the way and the point is to surround yourself with supportive people. It does take a village to raise a child regardless of whether that child has one or two parents. The point is not how many parents, but what type of nurturing role models the child has in his/her life. I am not rich financially, but I can offer a child a rich life full of love and caring.

  • Posted By: beekeeper @ 11/02/2007 3:08:46 PM

    If a woman wants a child and can be able to support and give the child the life it needs then I say go for it. It's no one's decision but your own.

  • Posted By: wallabim @ 11/02/2007 3:08:40 PM

    Seems like a lot of men have a problem with this.

  • Posted By: Jasonargonaut @ 11/02/2007 3:08:35 PM

    The women on this board that think this is a Good Idea... ought to seriously think about STERILIZING themselves, so as not to propagate their "IMBECILIC" gene.

    Think Steriliztion not Procreation!

    Can you Say Sterile?

    I knew ya could...

    Bye! Bye!

  • Posted By: garym99 @ 11/02/2007 3:08:09 PM

    Huh, so all of the studies say that a child with both a Mother and Father better off and more well adjusted that those with only one parent. Well who would have ever guessed that? Maybe that is what God had in mind when he created us as Man and Woman, you think? However, most people (be it male of female) in our modern fast food society are too stinking selfish to get married and stand by that commitment. But then again If you really think about it almost every ill in our society is due to selfishness. And I agree with Suzette1973, who will teach or fatherless boys how to be a man? Or our motherless daughters how to become a lady? But to say "I haven't found Mr. Right yet so I am going to be a single mom" is selfish. Because what they are really saying is "I haven't found Mr. Perfect yet". Sorry ladies....HE DON'T EXIST!

  • Posted By: coloblondie @ 11/02/2007 3:08:03 PM

    There is a lot of comment on these posts about how there isn't enough quality men "out there", have any of you stopped to think what makes you so special? Seriously, what makes you a quality female? Choosing to raise a child on your own and deliberately cutting out the father figure is selfish and insane. What gives you the right to decide that and speak for another?

  • Posted By: Spockman @ 11/02/2007 3:08:00 PM

    Hey College Gal. I guess your "friend" did all this without the help of welfare, child support, family, friends, etc. Come on. What a lovely story that probably only exist in the wonderful world of your imagination. I am sure she did it "on her own". NOT.

  • Posted By: avidreader @ 11/02/2007 3:07:52 PM

    I think "male reader" needs a spelling lesson, as well as a reading comprehension course. Women who make such a choice are not concerned about a "biological father (who) won't step up to the responsibility". Does he really want a woman as a wife who is only looking for someone to father her children and is therefore willing to "settle" for him? My oldest daughter, who is well-educated and self-assured, does not want to settle for less than true love. However, she can and does separate her deep desire to be a mother from her search for the love of a man. Ideally, she will find a partner with whom she also wants to birth children. She sees no reason to give up motherhood simply because her biological clock is ticking and no man is on the horizon. She plans to give herself a turkey baster treatment if she is still childless and mate-less at 35. As the mother of 5 planned and deeply loved children, I can understand and admire her. The studies on the effects of single motherhood on children should isolate and compare the statistics for planned children born into educated families without financial problems. As the author suggests, the deck is decidedly stacked in favor of those lucky kids.

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