Knocking Yourself Up

Okay, just read several comments about having a child in this manner as being "selfish." Yet, the same could be said for having a child with daddy in the picture. Let's be honest. Couples have children for/because of several reasons and love is not always the motivator (or at least not the ONLY motivator). For example, a friend of mine did not feel "complete" until she had a child with her husband. Her husband on the other hand did not feel they were a ???real family??? until his son was born. The reasons behind their choice to procreate are not wrong- they are wonderful parents- but you???re a fool to believe that vanity is not part of the equation on some level. As far as I know, feelings of being ???incomplete??? or desire for a ???traditional family??? did not come from the unborn child (who is now the most adorable baby ever) but from its parents??? upbringing/insecurities/genuine emotional needs, etc. Which brings me to the question, what precisely is it about artificial insemination that causes such controversy? It can???t be just the child???s welfare? After all, there is plenty of proof that these women are financially and emotional capable of raising healthy children. Also, you would think someone who puts that much work into having a child, including potentially being ostracized by FAMILY members AND society at large, would love and care for the child. So what is it really? Religious beliefs (one person playing God etc.), our discomfort at possible changes in gender roles and thus the status quo, perceived superiority of couples who procreate under the sanctity of marriage, the economics behind artificial insemination, etc.? What is it? I think many people will find the answers in their hearts or hearts???and these won???t always be pretty.

The act of women getting impregnated by sperms of phantom men is a disgusting act and must be stop by all means. The nation should not allow this practise to continue which will only further decay the social fabric of society.
People need to wake up and look at the implications and the selfishness on the part of women who do not value the union between men/women and family values but their personal needs.
Women want to single handily raise children and complain to everyone that they are single mothers and must take the major share of responsibility why the society is in this sick state.
Women always reward and encourage men who are promiscuous with either getting pregnant for them first or knowing them last. On the other hand they ???spat??? in the faces of the nice guys or Mr. Right and complain that these men are wuzzy. Men with good values are being destroyed by women when they are in their glory and usually have wait on broken women with loads of bag gages to fill all the jumbo jet in the world.

It is a well known fact that nice guys finish last and have to take up the broken pieces of women when they are smash by the players and having to care for these women and the children of players like their own.
So my next question is why women who are trying to create a unstable equilibrium in society. It may be the end of times and God will soon reveal himself to us but do not destroy the world any further.
Women need to look at themselves and around them and the mess the society is in and ask these questions. Do I want to destroy the society all together by creating a proliferation of so call single mothers? I will disregard family value and the nuclear family? My biological clock comes first, second and last in my life?

The world deserves better than this and we need to restore the old family values what our fore fathers and mothers have created since independence.

I agree with Spockman. How will such women, who won't budge an inch to make a meaningful relationship work, be a good parent? Will these women be capable of giving and sacrificing for their children when they aparently can't do the same for love and marriage?

this all sounds great for women still looking for Mr. Right, but what does a guy do who has spent the last three decades looking for Mrs. Right and sees his chances at raising his own children slip out the window. Single women think they have it hard.Try bing a single guy. A man who isn't maried by 35 is considered gay or completley disfunctional. At that point there is no "do it on your own" option for men. Enjoy your options ladies. The shoe coud be on the other foot.

The act of women getting impregnated by sperms of phantom men is a disgusting act and must be stop by all means. The nation should not allow this practise to continue which will only further decay the social fabric of society.
People need to wake up and look at the implications and the selfishness on the part of women who do not value the union between men/women and family values but their personal needs.
Women want to single handily raise children and complain to everyone that they are single mothers and must take the major share of responsibility why the society is in this sick state.
Women always reward and encourage men who are promiscuous with either getting pregnant for them first or knowing them last. On the other hand they ???spat??? in the faces of the nice guys or Mr. Right and complain that these men are wuzzy. Men with good values are being destroyed by women when they are in their glory and usually have wait on broken women with loads of bag gages to fill all the jumbo jet in the world.

It is a well known fact that nice guys finish last and have to take up the broken pieces of women when they are smash by the players and having to care for these women and the children of players like their own.
So my next question is why women who are trying to create a unstable equilibrium in society. It may be the end of times and God will soon reveal himself to us but do not destroy the world any further.
Women need to look at themselves and around them and the mess the society is in and ask these questions. Do I want to destroy the society all together by creating a proliferation of so call single mothers? I will disregard family value and the nuclear family? My biological clock comes first, second and last in my life?

The world deserves better than this and we need to restore the old family values what our fore fathers and mothers have created since independence.

Dayone1: Excuse me? "Cannot" do it alone? hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha! You are quite the comedian. I knew a woman in college who did the following: Worked 40 hours a week, had 5 children, 5 classes, AND a deadbeat father who left her for another woman. Her children were very polite and clean children. I was quite impressed, actually. After college, Roshanda graduated at the top of her class and got a damn good job and ALL WITHOUT A MAN! Explain "that" one. She is the type of woman that I look up to and a person that you "will" never be.

I am a 33 year old single mother. I tried insemination with donor sperm but it didn't work. I later met a man and became pregnant. After our daughter was born he left, and I haven't been able to find him since. I think it os going to be much more difficult to tell my daughter that her father left than it would have been to tell her that I wanted a child so I did it by myself.

Having two parents doesn't mean that you are getting two good parents. How does a marriage equal good parents?

Here is the truth. Single 40 year old women who want babies turn to sperm banks because they cannot find husbands to provide them children. They cannot find husbands because they are selfish, tyranical, overbearing, money hungry, career chasing, old, dried up left overs that no man would have. Why do you think that men are now looking for young women to marry. Or women from other countries. Or no women at all. It is because most American women are running around trying to imitate rap hoes or sex in the city actress' instead of being what men really want. Once American women figure it out then maybe they can produce children AND have a wonderful relationship at the same time. Until then they will just have to be happy with making love to a syringe full of sperm.

To Amphibian: Haven't you heard of the Pill, Norplant, tubal ligations, condoms? Are we to believe that the only times you had sex were the three times you said "No" to your ex and got pregnant? It took you three children to figure out this guy was a deadbeat? I'm sorry, but you have no one to blame but yourself. As for other women choosing to become pregnant on their own, this is so typical of our selfish, self-absorbed, it's-all-about-me society. I want the BMW, so I will have it. I want the trip to Aruba, so I will have it. I want a child, so I will have it. So, you will end up raising selfish and self-absorbed children, because that is the ethic by which you live. Good luck.
Roadam

It is amazing that some of you still think you live in the 1950s. I am a single CHRISTIAN mother of two. It is not my fault that their father decided to leave me for the woman who sat in front of me at church. This hasn't wavered my faith in God, but it has in mankind. Now that I've been single for a few years, I can't help but wonder where all these great men are who are suppose to be someone's Mr. Right. Who made those of you in a perfect relationship God and judge over those who cannot find that? And why does your blessing make you better than those of us who have to do without? The men are lacking and it is a very sad fact. But why does that mean that people who happen to have found a great partnership would make better parents than those who haven't? I guess I could have let my circumstances beat me down and ruin my self-confidence, but instead I have grown stronger and smarter. I am not the one who quit the marriage when the going got tough - the man did. I deserve a great husband just like any other woman, but I can't find one. So I can and will raise my children to be the best they can - without a man. I don't think there is anything sad about women saying, "we aren't going to wait on you anymore." We've been waiting for years and our lives are passing without men anyway, so we might as well live them to the fullest which includes having babies ---without men. If the men of this country don't like it, then quit being self-centered, dishonest no-good cheaters and do something about it. I guess what I'm saying is - BE A REAL MAN.

I am tired of waiting for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now.....why can't I do it on my own? Why do I have to wait and risk my biological clock ticking away? It isn't fair men can father kids into their 90's and women only have a certain amount of time before our eggs dry up or we become high risk. I say we go for it!

If a large number of single women start to go to sperm banks to have babies, how are they going to manage this? What if they all by chance pick the same donor, or say 10 of the same donors, are we going to be prepared to deal with this later, when the babies get older and find out they are dating their half brother/sister. Is the world prepared to take care of the consequences of their choice to promote this? And where is the money going to come from to take care of all the birth defects that could arise from this? Is this going to be like buying a car, if one place doesn???t have what the customer wants are they going to do a dealer trade and get the sperm from another location?

Babies are so cute. Who wouldn't want one????.........................but then they grow up. There will be some difficult questions to answer. Will these moms have any satisfactory answers? FYI, there are kids who are now looking for their bio fathers because "mom" went to a sperm bank. Some are finding them with good results, but what if the children of these women go on the hunt and find their sperm donor dad only to heartbreak or no answers at all? They're not just missing out on a paternal person, ;they're missing out on aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, SIBLINGS! A LOT MORE IS BEING DENIED THESE CHILDREN THAN JUST A FATHER! DO women think that being financially secure makes up for all that they're denying them?

My mom was able to raise me alone, she was 18 when I was born, she had my sister alone at 15. I did have strong male remodels (IE uncles). I don't have any emotional scar's from not knowing who my father is!!

I have decided to take the donor sperm road, I was able to conceive in 2005 and I have a well balanced, very active and most of all loved 22 month old. I have begun the process of giving him a brother or sister who will have the same genetic material.

I enjoy parenting my child ALONE!! I do not depend on others to care for my child, I made the decision to work from home. I work in the evening and early morning while my child is sleeping so that I am able to spend my days with him.

I think if you can provide a stable loving home that has the financial means to support yourself and your child then go for it. But it's not something you should jump into, I know I wanted to be a mother, adoption in our state is not as open as one might think, they frown on single parents who make less than $75,000 a year so I was told placement probably would not happen even though I own my home and make between $40,000-$50,000 a year.

I am shocked at some of the comments that have been made by so many close minded people.

I am a male product of a single mom environment and a lower economic class and the end result ,most people would say, is a case of great success. I am twenty-nine and have educated myself through grad school. My upbringing was not easy. My biological father was non-existent and my mother remarried a couple of times to abusive men. Although, I did have some positive male role models in my life through my mother's brothers. They weren't always around but they did have a good influence on me and my siblings. Throughout time it seems that there have been a significant percentage of men that have abandoned their children and left women to raise them to adulthood quite successfully. I don't think that it's an issue of whether a single parent, man or woman, can raise a child successfully but more an issue of whether that parent has the tools and resources to care and love them. Meaning adequate income, proper education, and a healthy living environment that allows the child to explore and grow safely. Granted, I can agree that two dedicated, loving parents is better than one, and is ideal, but the world is not this way and if a woman has the means to succeed in bearing and raising a child than why not? Is a man any less capable of raising child alone?

Please stop belivin that you can do it all alone.

you all think ALL MEN left their wives and children. NO not ALL MEN but yes it does happen. NOT just me but ALSO WOMEN leave their husbands and children. GROW UP. MAKE IT WORK. SUCK IT UP. LIFE IS NOT (AND NEVER WILL BE) EASY. GET OVER YOUR SELVES AND TEACH MY CHILDREN HOW TO OVERCOME!!! AS%HOL#S

Please. I love the comment from the "Male Reader" who calls these women stupid, but can't spell "desirable" or "definitely." Obviously, they're smarter than you, and don't need your grammatically incorrect self to tell them how to live their lives.

This message is in reply to the comment: Posted By: jukky6250 @ 11/02/2007 2:28:56 PM, you are so bias to say the thing that you are saying. Have an open mind, some biological fathers and mothers are not the best role model in a child's life, therefore, why would a child be in pain of suffer in their life due to not having them around. Yes if we lived in a perfect world everyone would a get married and be happy, no illnesses, and no one would die and be without their loved ones. Who is to say that if you did all the things you say not to do in order to get married he would be a faithful man and vice versa a faithful woman or you would be totally happy. Some married couples can not have children and they have to adopt. Now is the adopted child going to live in pain without their biological parents? God is our mother, father, friend and provider...and I say to all the good single parents God looks after you and the married couples, as you are a strong person for enduring such a big responsibility. This world is not perfect and maybe that is what heaven is, until then be blessed and pray for all people... and be support to the weak and not talk down upon them... you never know you could be that way...what would you do? How would you feel? To all the people who say single parents raised children that are most likely not to succeed and become a criminal. You are wrong, as I personally know plenty that strive to do so much better, so they can have a good life. The ones who have two parents financially set, etc.... may have it to easy and, do some of the most bizarre things, suicide, drugs, sex with multiple partners contracting stds... I can go on and on... see ya!